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THE  WASTREL  HOARD 


All  rights  reserved. 


The    Wastrel   Hoard 

A  DRAMA  OF  THE  GREATER  LOVE 


by 


FRANK  HENDRICK 

Of  the  New  York  Bar,  First  Ricardo  Prize 
Fellow  in  Harvard  University 


AUTHOR    OF     "RAILWAY     CONTROL    BY    COMMISSION,"    "THE 

POWER   TO   REGULATE    CORPORATIONS   AND    COMMERCE," 

"THE    COMMON    LAW    OF    THE    UNITED    STATES," 

"POLICIES,    REACTION,   AND   THE    CONSTITUTION/' 

"THE  CONTRIBUTION  OF  AMERICAN  WOMEN 

TO   THE   WORK   OF   LINCOLN/'   "THE 

ADEQUATE  MAN/'  ETC.,  ETC. 


'There  is  that  in  the  least  of  mortals  which  is  God. 


PURITAN  PLAY  COMPANY 

NEW  YORK 

1916 


COPYRIGHT,     1916, 
BY 

FRANK    HENDRICK, 

ALL     RIGHTS    RESERVED 

SET  UP  AND  ELECTROTYPED.  PUBLISHED  APRIL,  1916. 


This  play  has  been  copyrighted  and  published  in  the 
United  States  and  Great  Britain. 

All  rights  reserved,  including  that  of  translation  into 
foreign  languages,  including  the  Scandinavian. 

All  acting  rights,  both  professional  and  amateur,  are 
reserved,  in  the  United  States,  Great  Britain,  and  all  coun 
tries  of  the  Copyright  Union,  by  FRANK  HENDRICK.  Per 
formances  forbidden  and  right  of  representation  reserved. 
Piracy  or  infringement  will  be  prosecuted  in  accordance 
with  penalties  provided  by  the  United  States  Statutes. 

Sec.  4966. — Any  person  publicly  performing  or  representing  any 
dramatic  or  musical  composition  for  which  copyright  has  been  ob 
tained,  without  the  consent  of  the  proprietor  of  the  said  dramatic  or 
musical  composition,  or  his  heirs  or  assigns,  shall  be  liable  for  dam 
ages  therefor,  such  damages  in  all  cases  to  be  assessed  at  such  sum, 
not  less  than  one  hundred  dollars  for  the  first  and  fifty  dollars  for 
every  subsequent  performance,  as  to  the  Court  shall  appear  to  be 
just.  If  the  unlawful  performance  and  representation  be  wilful  and 
for  profit,  such  person  or  persons  shall  be  guilty  of  a  misdemeanor, 
and  upon  conviction  be  imprisoned  for  a  period  not  exceeding  one 
year.— U.  S.  Revised  Statutes,  Title  60,  Chapter  3. 

Persons  desiring  to  read  this  play  professionally  or  in 
public  should  first  apply  to  the  author. 


160 


"That  is  the  most  perfect  popular  government  where  the 
least  injury  done  to  the  meanest  individual  is  considered 
as  an  insult  on  the  whole  constitution." 

SOLON. 

"The  end  of  the  history  of  the  world  is  the  formation  of 
the  most  perfect  state  constitution." 

KANT'S  PROJECT  OF  PERPETUAL  PEACE. 

"My  Country — is  the  World!  My  Countrymen — all 
Mankind." 

WILLIAM  LLOYD  GARRISON. 

"We  hold  these  truths  to  be  self-evident,  that  all  men 
are  created  equal;  that  they  are  endowed  by  their  Creator 
with  certain  unalienable  rights;  that  among  these.,  are  life, 
liberty,  and  the  pursuit  of  happiness." 

THE  DECLARATION  OF  INDEPENDENCE. 

Were  half  the  power  that  fills  the  icorld  with  terror, 
Were  half  the  wealth  bestowed  on  camps  and  courts, 

Given  to  redeem  the  human  mind  from  error, 
There  were  no  need  of  arsenals  and  forts. 

LONGFELLOW. 

"You  may  build  your  Capitol  of  granite  and  pile  it  as 
high  as  the  Rocky  Mountains;  if  it  is  founded  on  or  mixed 
up  with  iniquity,  the  pulse  of  a  girl  will  in  time  beat  it 
down." 

WENDELL  PHILLIPS. 


050 


TO 

EUGENE  NOBLE  FOSS 

Apostle  of  National  Prohibition  of  the  Liquor  Traffic  and  Worker  for 
National  Americanism 

The  wisest  liberal  American  statesman  of  his  time 

Governor  of  the  Commonwealth  of  Massachusetts 

Three  times  elected  without  reference  to   partisanship 

Upon  the  two  principles  of 
"Public  Control  of  Public  Property"  and  "International  Reciprocity" 

Who,  in  his  annual  message  to  the  Legislature,  in  January,  1913, 
expressed,  in  defiance  of  the  violent  and  almost  overwhelming  protests 
of  the  interested,  prejudiced,  and  uninformed,  the  following  prophetic, 
wise,  and  lofty  sentiment: 

"I  recommend  that  the  Legislature  memorialize  the  Congress 
to  open  the  Panama  Canal  free  of  tolls  to  the  ships  of  all 
nations  as  a  gift  of  the  United  States  to  the  cause  of  commercial 
freedom  and  an  earnest  of  our  purpose  to  lead  in  the  movement 
for  true  international  reciprocity  and  the  abandonment  of  the 
policy  of  retaliation.  ^  The  cost  of  international  strain  and  strife 
is  out  of  all  proportion  to  any  possible  advantage;  the  possible 
benefits  of  international  generosity  are  too  great  to  be  measured." 

THIS  BOOK  IS  DEDICATED 


PERSONS  OF  THE  DRAMA. 

MARY  FLINT,  an  American  girl. 

JOHN  MORSE,  a  United  States  Senator. 

MRS.  MORSE,  his  wife. 

ALICE  MORSE,  their  daughter. 

RUSSELL  TURNER,  a  lawyer. 

FOSTER  BULLARD,  a  lobbyist. 

SAMUEL  FLINT,  Mary's  father. 

VICTOR  CHANCE,  a  young  multi-millionaire. 

ROBERT  THORBURN,  his  attorney. 

MRS.  HAVORBEE,  a  suffragette,  and  Victor's  aunt. 

NORAH,  a  maid. 

KATY,  a  servant. 

JAMES,  a  servant. 

HUGO  GULP,  telegraph  operator  at  The  Hague  Tribunal. 

SIR  RICHARD  DEXTER,  British  member  of  the  Tribunal. 

MONSIEUR  LEDOUX,  the  French  member. 

BARON  LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL,  the  German  member. 

COUNT  PSKOV,  the  Russian  member. 

MR.  WELLS,  the  American  member. 

MR.  SPENCER-PRYCE,  the  British  agent. 

CORTRIGHT,  a  Secret  Service  man. 

Musicians,  Guestsy  Servants,  Pages,  Attendants,  and 
Spectators. 


SYNOPSIS  OF  SCENES. 

ACT  I.  Music  room  of  Senator  Morse's  residence  in  Ne*o 

York  City. 

TIME:  January,  1912,  at  half  past  six  in  the  evening. 
ACT  II.  Same  as  Act  I. 

TIME:  Fifteen  minutes  after  the  close  of  Act  I. 
ACT  HI.  Palace  of  Peace  at  The  Hague. 
TIME:  June  28th,  1914?  at  eleven  in  the  morning. 
ACT  IV.  Same  as  Act  III. 
TIME:  Immediately  after  the  close  of  Act  II L 
ACT  V.    Senator  Morse's  library. 
TIME:  July  bill,  1914,  at  eleven  in  the  morning. 


ACT   I. 

Before  the  rising  of  the  curtain,  the  orchestra  plays 
selections  from  Tosca,  the  "Tavan"  arrangement,  with 
emphasis  upon  and  recurrence  to  the  grand  air  "Vissi 
d'arte,  vissi  d'amore." 


Ion    and      .on   -    <ric,        (bees     ban  I      lived 


no*       ft  -ci    «ai      WM.  -  lead  a-m-ma       ri-ra/         CM     mm  jur .  K  -  em 
nor        ev.er  hare     harm  -  ed    •  Itv.ing      be -lag!  The  poor    and 


qmm  -     te    OT  -   «e  -  fie     co-  no&-W,«-»  -    to'-  i 
time.      wi&.oat      muufcer,  fay  stealth  I    turn    «d  -  ed. 


PROLOGUE. 


Here's 
to 

Motherhood ! 

Woman's  salvation,  happiness,  and  avatar, 
Source  of  humanity,  heaven,  and  eternity, 
Man's  inheritance  from  all  the  past 
So  greater  than  the  richest  hoard 
That  none  with  it  can  man  afford, 
Lest  hoard  not  man  shall  everlast, 
Surviving  in  a  dead  posterity, 
Lacklustered  as  a  fallen  star. 

Then- 
Here's 
to 
Motherhood! 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD 

ACT  I. 

The  curtain  rises  on  the  music  room  of  the  residence  of 
United  States  Senator  John  Morse  on  upper  Fifth  Ave 
nue,  in  New  York  City.  Left  and  right  are  doors,  both 
opening  inward.  Stage  divided  from  right  to  left  by 
wall  which  is  open  from  right  centre  to  left  centre, 
disclosing  a  banquet  room.  This  door  is  off  the 
centre  and  to  the  left,  right  and  left  being  indicated 
from  the  players'  viewpoint.  The  banquet  room  is  upon 
a  higher  level,  and  is  reached  by  four  steps.  The 
steps  are  carpeted  with  the  dark  green  velvet  car 
pet  which  covers  the  floor  of  the  music  room. 
Heavy  draperies,  drawn  together,  shut  off  from  view  the 
banquet  room,  until,  a  few  moments  after  the  rising  of 
the  curtain,  they  are  drawn  aside.  There  is  a  door  in 
the  centre  of  the  back  of  the  banquet  room,  leading  into 
the  library.  There  is  "distance"  between  the  front  of 
the  stage  and  this  door.  It  is  half-past  six  in  the  even 
ing  of  a  clear  moonlight  night  in  January.  At  the  right, 
occupying  a  part  of  the  right  of  the  back,  is  a  deep, 
circular,  bow  window,  equivalent  almost  to  an  alcove. 
About  the  window  is  a  window-seat.  Outside,  window- 
boxes,  planted  with  wintergreen  plants,  are  visible. 
Through  this  window  may  be  distinguished  the  tops  of 
trees  in  Central  Park  and  the  outlines  of  the  coping  of 
the  roof  of  the  Metropolitan  Museum  of  Art.  During 
the  first,  second,  and  fifth  acts,  the  sound  of  the  traffic 
of  taxi-cabs,  motor  cars,  and  'buses  penetrates  from 
without.  In  the  corner  at  the  left  is  a  table  with  a  tele 
phone  and  an  electric  lamp  upon  it,  and  a  high-backed 
wooden  chair  before  it.  In  the  centre  is  a  circular 
divan.  At  the  right,  near  the  large  bow  window,  is  a 
baby  grand  piano,  open,  with  a  stack  of  sheet  music 


10  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

lying  upon  it.  The  piano  faces  so  that  the  player's  back 
is  turned  to  the  audience.  This  corner  contains  chairs 
and  stands  for  a  small  string  orchestra  and  is  screened 
and  half  concealed  by  palms  and  potted  plants.  In 
front  of  these  plants  is  a  sofa.  This  decoration  is  so 
arranged  that  by  removing  one  object  the  person  seated 
at  the  piano  is  brought  into  view  of  the  audience.  The 
hinges  of  the  doors  at  either  side  of  the  stage  are  on  the 
line  of  the  palms.  When  the  musicians  make  their  en 
trance  they  enter  by  the  door  at  right.  The  entrance  of 
guests  or  others  from  the  left  is  preceded  by  the  sound 
of  an  electric  elevator.  The  necessary  sound  of  the 
elevator  returning  to  its  station  after  the  entrance  of 
characters  is  not  indicated  in  the  stage  directions.  The 
music  room  is  not  lighted.  Moonlight  falls  through  the 
bow  window  upon  the  decoration  in  the  music  room. 
As  the  curtain  rises  and  a  little  before,  just  after  the 
theatre  orchestra  has  ceased  playing,  a  soprano  voice 
is  heard,  accompanied  by  the  piano,  in  runs,  trills,  and 
warming-up  exercises.  Seated  at  the  piano,  but  not 
visible  to  the  audience,  is  MARY  FLINT,  a  very  pretty  girl 
of  ttventy-two.  As  she  sings,  the  draperies  of  the  door 
leading  to  the  banquet  room  are  drawn  aside  and  two 
servants,  JAMES  and  KATY,  are  seen  placing  small 
American  flags  at  each  place  at  the  dining  table.  The 
banquet  room  is  dimly  lighted.  Moonlight  falls  upon 
the  table.  The  SERVANTS  listen  to  the  singing  from 
time  to  time  and  exchange  glances  of  appreciation.  The 
door  of  the  opposite  side  of  the  stage  opens  and  RUSSELL 
TURNER,  a  man  of  thirty,  enters  and  takes  a  few  steps 
into  the  room.  Throughout  the  play,  RUSSELL  is  re 
served  and  self-contained.  He  gives  the  impression  of 
the  silent  man  of  few  words,  of  turbulent  spirit,  under 
practiced  repression,  overcome  by  bashfulness,  and  made 
gentle  by  much  chastening,  of  impulsiveness  checked  by 
shyness,  but  of  indomitable  purpose  and  latent  power. 


TEE  WASTREL  HOARD. 


11 


In  the  soft  speech  of  RUSSELL  and  of  MARY  the  acute  ear 
will  detect  the  inheritance  of  Neiv  England.  RUSSELL 
does  not  note  the  presence  of  the  servants.  MARY  does 
not  observe  RUSSELL'S  entrance.  One  of  the  servants 
stealthily  approaches  the  other,  places  his  hand  to  his 
mouth,  and  whispers  into  the  other's  ear,  at  the  same 
time  nodding  toward  RUSSELL.  RUSSELL,  perceiving 
that  he  is  unnoticed  by  MARY,  stojis  and  listens  as  she 
begins  to  sing,  "Absent,"  by  Mctcalf  and  Glen.  She 
sings: 

A B  SENT.         JOHN  w  METCALP 

..  Andante  mol to.  )••« 


And  some.times.io   Uie    twi  .    light  gloom,  a 


part, 


jr  »y  j  p  y  T   j 


\Tbe_talltreeswhi9-per,     wbis  .  per  beart  to 


beart 


From    my  food  lips  tbe     ea  -  _  ger  an.swer*y 


ink- ing  1      bear    tbee. 


Thick,  ing    I         bear tbee        caDI 

Copyright,  1899,  by  Arthur  P.  Schmidt.   Used  by  permission. 


12  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

Suddenly  Mary  stops  and  bursts  into  tears,  bows  her 
head  in  a  manner  indicating  dejection,  and  sobs.  The 
SERVANTS  are  all  attention,  and  are  ready  to  appear  sym 
pathetic  if  observed.  Rising  from  the  piano,  MARY 
notes  for  the  first  time  the  presence  of  the  SERVANTS, 
comes  out  and  takes  a  few  steps  into  the  room.  She  is 
dressed  in  white.  It  is  noticeable  that  her  gown,  though 
simple  and  effective,  is  not  of  the  raging  fashion.  MARY 
is  of  that  figure  which  makes  an  American  girl  who  is 
neither  short  nor  tall,  slim  nor  stout,  seem  dynamic  and 
dauntless.  She  appears  to  be  struggling  against  depres 
sion. 

RUSSELL.    I  heard  your  voice. 

MARY.  [Looking  up  in  pleased  surprise,  but  speaking 
with  a  polite  reserve  born  of  consciousness  of  the  pres 
ence  of  the  servants.]  How  do  you  do?  How  is  the  Pacific 
Canal  fight  going? 

[The  servants,  at  the  sound  of  voices,  complete  their 
work  hurriedly.] 

RUSSELL.    Quite  nicely,  thank  you. 

[MARY  glances  at  the  servants  to  apprise  RUSSELL  of 
their  presence,  and  continues  to  speak  with  re 
straint  and  for  their  benefit.  A  chime  clock  in 
the  library  back  of  the  banquet  room  is  heard  to 
strike  once  for  the  half -hour.  A  moment  later  a 
smaller  clock  strikes  twice  for  the  half -hour.  ] 

MARY.  Are  you  going  to  have  a  square  deal  in  Washing 
ton  or  leave  it  to  The  Hague? 

[The  departure  of  the  servants  by  a  side  door,  not 
visible,  leading  from  the  banquet  room,  is  indi 
cated  by  the  sound  of  closing  the  door.] 

RUSSELL.     The  Hague!     If  my  old  friend  Hugo  Van 
Deventer  is  there,  look  out  for  a  square  deal !    De  Groot ! 
MARY.   [Assured  that  the  servants  have  gone.]  Russell f 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  13 

RUSSELL.  [Restraining  an  impulse  to  show  affection.] 
Mary ! 

MARY.    You  have  been  away  three  days. 

[A  clock  in  a  room  above,  larger,  it  seems,  strikes 
twice  for  the  half  hour.} 

RUSSELL.    I'm  glad  to  get  back. 

MARY.  How  did  you  know  you  would  find  me  here  to 
night? 

RUSSELL.  I  didn't.  I  asked  the  maid  if  I  was  the  first 
arrival.  She  said  you  had  gone  upstairs. 

[A  very  loud  chime,  of  the  hall  clock  on  the  floor 
"below,  is  heard  to  strike  once.} 

MARY.    I  left  Alice  dressing.    I  came  down  here  because 

I  was  lonesome — then  I  wanted  to  be  alone — and  play 

RUSSELL.    And  sing? 

MARY.    My  dream  is  of  acting. 

RUSSELL.    Sing  tonight.     An  angel  may  appear. 

MARY.    There  will  be  a  devil. 

RUSSELL.    It's  not  the  Senator. 

[MARY  goes  up  to  the  table  and  around  to  a  seat 
facing  the  audience,  picks  up  a  place-card,  and, 
returning,  hands  it  to  RUSSELL.] 

MARY.    The  author  of  my  being ! 

RUSSELL.    Who? 

MARY.   Father!   Little  red  school  mates!   Real  chums! 

RUSSELL.  I  thought  it  was  a  friendship  through  their 
wives. 

MARY.  That,  too,  but — well — mother  tried  just  her 
level  best  with  father — but  he  wore  her  out — and- — she  has 
had  to  give  in. 

RUSSELL.    That  brings  you  closer  to  her — and  to  Alice. 

MARY.  Daughters  chums  at  college. 

RUSSELL.    And  in  the  big  city. 

MARY.  In  altered  circumstances.  [MARY  sits  down  on 
the  sofa  at  the  end  near  the  piano.  RUSSELL  remains  stand- 


14  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

ing.}  One  day  six  months  ago,  I  started  to  drag  myself 
afoot  up  Fifth  Avenue 

RUSSELL.    For  exercise ! 

MARY.  For  want  of  carfare — after  a  whole  day  of  man 
agers'  offices,  with  nothing  to  eat,  I  was  going  home — to 
that  quaint  Dutch  settlement  called  Harlem — to  cook 
for  myself — a  beef  stew — with  some  of  the  ingredients  miss 
ing — when  Alice  in  her  auto  fairly  whisked  me  home  with 
her,  and,  right  in  that  room,  I  sat  down  to  the  best  dinner 
I  ever  ate. 

RUSSELL.    That's  Alice. 

MARY.  I  kept  wishing  it  for  all  whose  heads  were  ach 
ing  with  hunger  as  mine  had  been. 

[MARY  becomes  thoughtful;  RUSSELL  studies  her.] 

RUSSELL.    [Sitting  down  beside  Mary.]    That  was  you. 

MARY.  I  can't  forget  that  dinner.  [MARY  smiles.]  I 
had  received  a  letter  from  mother  that  morning.  She  urged 
me  to  eat  regularly.  [MARY  smiles  sadly.]  If  mother  only 
knew!  [MARY  looks  into  RUSSELL'S  eyes.]  I  have  a  con 
stant  craving  for  food  now  which  makes  me  feel  for  every 
poor  devil  I  see.  It  is  an  awful  thought  that  lack  of  food 
for  only  a  few  hours  makes  even  a  strong  man  ill.  What 
must  it  be  to  see  one's  children  hunger ! 

RUSSELL.  [Taking  Mary's  hands.]  One  touch  of  hunger 
makes  the  whole  world  kin. 

MARY.  [Closing  her  eyes  and  repeating  dreamily,  as  if 
in  an  echo]  " — the  whole  world  kin!"  [MARY  opens  her 
eyes  and  starts  as  if  aioakened.]  Hunger!  My  hunger! 

[Expressively.]  No.  It  is  deeper  than  that [After 

a  moment  of  searching  gaze  into  RUSSELL'S  eyes,  MARY 
turns  her  head  away,  as  if  in  thought,  then  arouses  herself, 
looks  at  RUSSELL,  and  then  makes  a  resolve  to  change  the 
subject.]  Alice  Morse  [MARY  disengages  her  hands  and 
rises]  has  certainly  been  a  friend. 

RUSSELL.   [Rising.]  In  need! 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  15 

MARY.    [Wistfully.]    Now  I  have  you. 

EUSSELL.  And  though  you  live  at  the  Junior  League 
yourself,  you  have  a  plan  to  right  the  world's  wrongs  in 
the  settlement.  Philosophy  for  wage-earners !  They  need  it ! 

MARY.  I  wanted  to  help  at  father's  mills.  He  wanted 
me  to  marry,  a  very  rich,  and  very  reputable,  and  very  old 
person — to  assure  my  "great  happiness !" 

EUSSELL.    Did  he? 

MARY.  Yes.  He  wanted  to  make  sure  of  my  future — 
to  weight  me  down.  When  life  is  such  a  wonderful  thing ! 
Yet  the  world  holds  it  so  lightly.  Just  think,  three  hun 
dred  thousand  needless  deaths  of  infants  in  this  country 
every  year. 

EUSSELL.  Father  will  approve  your  plan.  [MARY  dis 
plays  annoyance,  walks  nervously  toward  the  banquet 
room,  and  examines  the  seating  arrangement.  EUSSELL 
follows  her.]  It  will  be  a  good  recognition  scene  when  you 
meet. 

[EUSSELL  replaces  the  card  and  stands  at  the  table. 
MARY  and  EUSSELL  talk  across  the  table  as  MARY 
moves  about.] 

MARY.  Not  exactly  Lear  and  his  dear  child,  Cordelia. 
You  know  my  father  does  not  approve  of  me. 

EUSSELL.     That  can't  be  true. 

MARY.    He  thinks  me  not  entirely — rational. 

EUSSELL.    Anybody  would  applaud  your  helping > 

MARY.  My  father  holds  as  nothing  the  honor,  comfort, 
and  fate  of  a  sex,  a  class,  or  a  race  that  is  not  his  own. 
That  indifference  is  his  weapon. 

EUSSELL.     That's  a  double-edged  sword. 

MARY.  And  I  told  him  there  are  no  natural  barriers  be 
tween  human  beings,  and  that  I  didn't  recognize  artificial 
ones.  I  disapproved  of  his  idea  of  aristocracy.  At  bottom 
we  are  all  alike.  Americans  are  a  composite — a  neutral 
race !  Our  wheels  within  wheels  should  be  broken ;  nature 
has  none ;  she  just  enfolds  us  all  in  one  great  circumference ! 

EUSSELL.    That's  beautiful !    One  great  felloeship ! 


16  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

MARY.  But  he's  a  professional  American.  And  I  dared 
to  express  disapproval  of  his  kind  of  Americanism. 

RUSSELL.  Humanity  is  not  yet  a  cosmopolitan  senti 
ment  It  is  parochial — like  the  tariff,  a  local  issue. 

MARY.  That  shouldn't  make  Americans  provincial. 
Good  Americans  distrust  professionals  of  any  race.  They 
hold  off  and  stand  apart,  they  don't  join  in,  they  resist 
good  influences,  they  flock  by  themselves,  they  don't  get 
together,  they  don't  assimilate.  I  said  to  father :  "I  have 
united  in  me  every  strain  of  western  civilization.  How 
do  you  expect  me  to  harbor  prejudices — or  tolerate  them?" 
I  quoted  Paul  to  him :  "There  can  be  neither  Jew  nor  Greek, 
there  can  be  neither  bond  nor  free,  there  can  be  no  male 
and  female ;  for  ye  are  all  one  man  in  Christ  Jesus." 

RUSSELL.  And  that  made  him  mad !  Like  all  our  peo 
ple,  you  can  be  nothing  but  an  American.  In  every  one  of 
us  is  the  blood  of  millions  of  ancestors. 

MARY.  And  that  before  he  married  mother,  he  hadn't  a 
cent  himself.  Money  is  quickly  gained  and  lost. 

EUSSELL.  H'm !  But  what's  once  in  the  blood  doesn't 
come  out.  It  may  be  assumed  everything  is  in  everybody. 

MARY.    Is  that  hopeful — or  otherwise? 

RUSSELL.  Hopeful — very !  If  it  wasn't  good  blood,  it 
wouldn't  be  here.  It  is  heir  of  all  the  ages. 

MARY.  I've  known  some  people  who  felt  themselves  the 
heirs  of  a  million  earls. 

RUSSELL.  If  they  were  they  wouldn't  be  alive  to  tell  it. 
Only  three  generations  are  required  to  make  a  man  into  a 
gentleman;  thereafter  the  decline  is  progressive.  Social 
aristocracy  is  like  a  hill  of  potatoes.  The  best  part  of  it  is 
underground.  The  gentleman  who  said  America  is  not  a 
fit  country  for  a  gentleman  to  live  in  was  right ! 

MARY.  Then,  perhaps,  I  am  perfectly  well-born,  after 
all.  Father  hadn't  any  religion  either. 

RUSSELL.    That  can  be  acquired — and  abandoned. 

MARY.  And  now,  as  for  having  me  sing,  his  choice 
would  be  from  Moody  and  Sankey. 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  17 

RUSSELL.    He  is — religious! 

MARY.  Two  things  would  bring  father  to  New  York — a 
political  convention  or  a  religious  revival — and  whichever 
he  attends,  he  thinks  it  is  the  other.  He's  a  silver-tongued 
orator  and  an  exhorter  combined.  But  before  politicians 
he  talks  nothing  but  church,  and  in  meeting  he  talks  noth 
ing  but  politics. 

RUSSELL.  That's  not  unusual.  Religion  and  politic! 
now  have  the  same  object. 

MARY.    What  is  that? 

RUSSELL.    Politics. 

[MARY  gives  RUSSELL  a  questioning  look.] 

MARY.  Politics!  That  is  only  a  name!  I've  always 
wondered  what  this  vile  tissue  of  petty  trick  and  intrigue 
was  concealing.  Religion  and  politics — the  bubbling  caul 
dron — always  a  crime-breeding  mixture! 

RUSSELL.  [Avoiding  the  issue.]  The  Senator's  dinners 
are  not  prayer  meetings. 

MARY.  Then  the  reason  for  your  presence  is  purely 
political? 

RUSSELL.    No,  politically  pure. 

[By  this  time  they  have  come  together  in  front  of 
the  table.  MARY  looks  up  at  RUSSELL  quickly  as  if 
to  take  advantage  of  a  long-aioaited  opening.] 

MARY.    Not  if  Foster  Bullard 

RUSSELL.  [Without  conviction  and  attempting  to  con 
ceal  nervousness.]  Why,  Bullard  doesn't  need  me.  He 
likes  me. 

MARY.    That  doesn't  sound  like  you. 

RUSSELL.  He  saw  me  the  day  I  was  born — in  the  hos- 
pital. 

MARY.    Now  he  has  an  object!   I  am  sure  of  it. 

RUSSELL.  Well,  everybody  wants  our  ships  exempt 
from  Canal  tolls. 

MARY.     "Everybody,"  perhaps,  doesn't  understand  it. 


18  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

Why  didn't  Billiard  become  a  doctor  and  let  public  affairs 
alone? 

BUSSELL.  He  told  me  once.  I  asked  him  when  I  was 
planning  my  own  career.  [RUSSELL  speaks  in  a  manner  to 
be  identified  later  as  that  of  BULLARD.]  "My  father  was  a 
physician,"  he  said,  "and  would  have  me  one.  I  finished 
and  qualified  and  was  ready  to  step  into  a  Beacon  Hill 
practice,  provided  with  select,  even  elite,  patients  to  start 
upon,  but  I  couldn't  stand  the  domestic  strain;  I  was 
near  to  mother;  we  had  lived  the  Bible  through  together 
from  cover  to  cover;  by  it,  she  judged  father;  Calvinist 
and  Unitarian;  she  hadn't  softened;  I  sided  with  her,  and 
then,  to  preserve  peace,  left  religion  behind  and  came — to 
New  York.  Here  my  fate  consigned  me  to  obstetrics,  and 
I  saw  in  the  birth  of  little  children  the  alpha  and  omega 
of  revealed  religion  and  that  all  the  rest  was  a  pious  fraud. 
I  saw  too  many  little  creatures  lost  and,  not  being  averse 
to  occasional  making  of  angels  but  not  being  just  fond  of 
it  as  a  steady  thing,  I  gave  up  my  profession  in  order  to 
reform  it.  I  conceived  the  notion  that  private  practice  is 
wrong  and  left  medicine  for  politics,  in  order  to  reform 
both.  My  idea  was  that  it  is  as  necessary  for  the  public  as 
for  the  individual  that  the  individual  should  have  good 
health  and  that  if  nobody  could  secure  better  treatment 
than  anybody,  everybody  would  soon  have  everything  it  is 
good  for  anybody  to  have.  Poverty  is  the  greatest  foe  to 
health,  and  I  couldn't  cure  poverty  by  treating  individuals. 
I  couldn't  even  cure  my  own.  That — I  mean  my  poverty- 
lost  me  something  else — I'll  tell  you  what  some  day — and 
reform  seemed  hopeless.  I  made  out  soon  that  what  ailed 
everything  was  politics  and  at  about  the  same  time  I  found 
that  politics  was  an  ailment  I  had,  too.  By  the  time  I  gave 
up  trying  to  cure  poverty  by  politics,  my  last — illusion — 
was  gone.  I  then  discerned  that  health  is  mental  and 
moral  as  well  as  physical  and  that  almost  no  one  possessed 
it — and  least  of  all  myself.  And  I  knew  politics;  where 
others  dabbled,  I  dived.  The  community  as  a  whole  I 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  19 

found  morbid  and  /  left  it — to  its  fate !"  That  is  how  he 
advised  me  not  to  take  up  medicine,  but  to  study  law,  and, 
to  show  good  faith,  he  took  up  law  himself  at  the  same 
time.  He  really  put  me,  in  the  law,  where  I  am  to-day. 

MARY.  And  in  politics!  He  is  not  attempting  a  cure 
by  that  route !  He  meant  himself,  not  politics,  was  failing  I 

RUSSSLL.  Oh,  Bullard  is  all  right.  He  watched  and 
warded  a  poor  youngster  for  thirty  years.  [  RUSSELL  picks 
up  the  card  at  the  second  place  from  that  of  MARY'S  father 
and  shows  it  to  MARY.]  He's  not  so  bad.  You'll  see. 
You'll  meet  him  here  tonight.  He  only  wants  a  square 
deal  for  the  interests  he  represents. 

MARY.  The  old  story.  If  to  help  me  you've  had  to  work 
with  them 

KUSSELL.  [Turning  the  edge  of  her  thrust  as  if  lightly.] 
Well — somebody  had  to 

MARY.    But 

RUSSELL.    And  /  wanted  to. 

MARY.  [Turning  away  from  him  and  starting  to  walk  to 
front  of  the  stage.]  I  keep  thinking  there  is  something 
wrong  about  it  all.  I  don't  like  this  Pacific  business.  I 
have  had  many  talks  with  Senator  Morse.  He  has  told 

nrip. 

RUSSELL.  [Cutting  in  on  her  speech  as  if  unwilling  to 
hear,  and  looking  down  at  another  place-card.]  Foster 
Bullard  knows  young  Chance,  too. 

MARY.  [Pretending  not  to  have  heard  him.]  — that  this 
canal  completes  for  the  first  time  a  direct  water-path  across 
the  world. 

RUSSELL.  [Looking  down  at  another  card.]  Is  it  to 
meet  the  suffrage  leader? 

MARY.    The  Canal? 

RUSSELL.    Victor  Chance? 

MARY.    No.  Mrs.  Havorbee  is  his  aunt.    It  is  Alice. 

RUSSELL.  He  was  here  that  day  I  first  saw  you. 

MARY.    Do  you  know  him? 

RUSSELL.  Bullard  says  we  met  under  his  care  our  first 


20  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

day  apart  from  our  parents.  You  know  Bullard  says  hi* 
name  [Raising  the  place-card]  is  on  my  certificate. 

MARY.  [With  covert  interest.]  Did  you  ever  examine 
the  record? 

RUSSELL.  No.  Besides,  they  are  secret.  The  law  forbids 
disclosure — except  to  parents.  The  law  takes  notice  of  the 
fact  that  the  world  is  a  natural  busybody.  [  Thoughtfully.  ] 
What  it  doesn't  know,  hurts  nobody. 

[MARY  hesitates  a  moment  and  seems  to  weigh  thi* 
information  and  to  determine  to  change  the  sub 
ject.] 

MARY.  Had  you  and  Victor  Chance  never  met  in  the 
meantime? 

RUSSELL.  Our  paths  parted  then  and  there.  Each  was 
returned  to  his  respective  mother. 

MARY.    But  in  thirty  years ! 

RUSSELL.  Caste! 

MARY.  You  both  went  to  college.  That  brings  boys  to 
gether. 

RUSSELL.  Study  was  of  his  life  a  thing  apart. 

MARY.  It  was  your  whole  existence,  wasn't  it? 

RUSSELL.   I  doubt  if  he  knew  ten  men  outside  of  Keys. 

MARY.  That  secret  society  business  is  carried  pretty 
far  at  Yale. 

RUSSELL.  And,  of  course,  living  for  and  on  free  scholar 
ships  at  Harvard,  I  was  worlds  removed  from  his  set. 

MARY.  But  that  shouldn't  continue  afterward. 

RUSSELL.  It  is  worse.  That  is  what  it's  for.  I  was 
further  away  than  ever.  He  took  the  high  road  and  I  took 
the  low  road. 

MARY.    Why  didn't  you  speak  of  it  that  day? 

RUSSELL.  Most  improper!  And  I  thought  he  admired 
you. 

MARY.    Baby !    He  has  too  many  millions • 

RUSSELL.  There  you  have  it.  But  Bullard  had  my 
picture  taken  on  my  second  birthday  and  gave  it  to  me  in 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  21 

this  locket.  [ RUSSELL  takes  a  locket  from  his  watch-chain, 
opens  it,  and  hands  it  to  MARY.]  Bullard  didn't  grow  away 
from  me! 

MARY.    What  a  glorious  child !    Give  it  to  me ! 

RUSSELL.  But  you  would  never  accept  jewelry. 

MARY.  But  this  is  my  gem,  isn't  it? 

RUSSELL.  If  you  will  accept  it. 

[RUSSELL  helps  MARY  to  place  the  locket  upon  a 
chain  she  ivears  about  her  neck.] 

MARY.  [Examining  the  locket.]  July  4th,  1881.  And 
two  American  boys!  Both  free  and  equal!  But  orphans! 
But  you  two  boys  are  now  once  more  where  you  started, 
both  orphans.  Your  parents  and  "Golden"  Chance  and 
his  sweet  wife — all  dead! 

RUSSELL.  Bullard  makes  me  forget  that. 

MARY.  By  absorbing  your  talent  and  Chance's  money. 
Benevolent  assimilation  like  this  Pacific  business ! 

RUSSELL.   You — are  not — to  blame — for  that! 

[RUSSELL  replaces  BULLARD'S  card  and  follows 
MARY.  His  attitude  is  playful  and  MARY  assumes 
the  same  manner.  They  come  down  into  the  music 
roomy  walking  side  by  side,  facing  the  audience.] 

MARY.   I — thought — I —  had  to  have — things  to  wear. 

RUSSELL.    Or  give  up. 

MARY.  And  obey  my  father ! 

RUSSELL.    Perhaps  you  don't  go  at  him  right. 

MARY.  He  wounded  my  pride.    That  is  the  worst  hurt ! 

RUSSELL.  Pride  can  be  made  an  inexpensive  luxury. 
There  is  a  saving  pride  as  well  as  that  which  "goeth  before 
a  fall." 

MARY.  He  refused  to  support  my  ambition.  He  gave 
ten  thousand  dollars  to  the  church,  just  to  prove  that  it 
wasn't  mean.  "By  the  ever-living  God,"  he  shouted,  "not  a 
dollar  will  I  contribute  to  send  my  daughter  into  danger." 
He's  wonderful  when  he  gets  fired  up  like  that.  He's  great 
est  when  he  has  [MARY  imitates;  she  comes  a  step  forward 


22  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

raises  her  right  arm  in  gesticulation,  turns  on  RUSSELL  and 
addresses  him  as  her  audience]  "the  whole  country  march 
ing  onward  to  the  time  of  'Hail  Columbia'  and  the  tune  of 
'Home,  Sweet  Home.'  "  [Lowering  her  voice.]  He's  the 
handsomest  and  the  hardest  man  I  ever  saw. 

RUSSELL.  He  is  your  father.  It  must  be  wonderful  to 
have  one's  parents  living!  7  scarcely  remember  my  par 
ents.  A  father 

MARY.    Mine  was  my  king — until  he  tried  to  rule  me. 

RUSSELL.  [Baffled,  but  trying  to  appear  sympathetic.] 
He  thinks  your  purpose  frivolous. 

MARY.  A  father  who  thinks  is  lost. 

RUSSELL.    And  if  he  doesn't? 

MARY.  On  the  one  occasion  when  father  demonstrated 
real  affection  for  me,  I  almost  swooned  with  delight.  I  had 
to  buy  my  freedom.  I  taught  in  Sunday  School,  played  the 
organ,  led  the  singing,  and  sang  solos  for  a  whole  season  of 
revival,  and  did  everything  about  the  church  but  preach 
the  sermons,  as  the  price  of  permission  to  come  to  New 
York  to  study  for  the  stage.  Father  feared  local  criticism 
and  tried  to  back  out,  so  I  had  to  run  away.  And  now  I'm 
not  going  home  until  I  have  justified  myself. 

RUSSELL.  Beware  of  the  fixed  idea. 

MARY.  [With  an  air  of  finality.]  A  good  idea  can't  be 
too  fixed.  [She  sits  down  on  the  sofa.]  Father  would  be 
the  first  to  boast  of  my  success.  He  says  he  denies  me 
money  now  so  that  he  may  leave  me  well  provided  for  when 
he's  gone.  Great  Heavens !  Why  must  so  many  fly  through 
life  with  a  broken  wing!  The  man  can't  understand  what 
it  means. 

[MARY  buries  her  face  in  her  hands.    RUSSELL  sits 
down  on  the  sofa,  beside  MARY.] 

RUSSELL.  What  does  it  mean? 

MARY.  It  means  that  daughters  like  me  have  essentials 
in  common  with  all  the  disinherited  of  the  earth — we  are 
thwarted  of  our  ambitions,  our  lives,  our — possibilities — 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  23 

just  to  please  those  who  have  had  theirs.  Father  met  a 
girl  once,  when  he  took  me,  as  a  half-grown  girl,  to  inspect 
Galloway  Hall,  where  Alice  and  I  were  to  go,  as  our 
mothers  had  before  us — and  this  girl's  mother,  too.  [ RUS 
SELL  evinces  increasing  interest.]  And  he  forever  after 
held  her  up  to  me  as  a  model.  She  had  no  parents;  they 
had  both  died  young — both  from  the  heart,  I  believe 
mother  said.  Father  knew  them,  too.  He  couldn't  under 
stand  that  I  was  the  opposite  of  their  girl  in  everything, 
and  couldn't  pattern  myself  upon  her.  She  was  sweet 
but  inanimate  and  her  skin  was  like  alabaster.  She 
seemed  to  me  all  surface — that  appeals  to  father — it  does 
to  most  men — and,  without  really  knowing  the  girl,  just 
from  father's  praise  and  my  notion  she  wasn't — true, — 
a  real — flesh-and-blood — live  girl,  I  grew  up  resenting  and 
almost  hating  the  very  name  of  Laura  Lord,  [RUSSELL 
starts  upon  hearing  the  name;  MARY  does  not  take  note] 
and  wishing  fervently  that  she  might  be  transported  to  a 
better  world  than  this,  to  be  a  model  for  the  other  angels. 
RUSSELL.  Please  him  now.  Be  diplomatic.  Be  a  singer. 

[MARY  looks  up  and  smiles  at  RUSSELL.] 

MARY.  Melba?  I  say,  Duse.  The  New  York  climate 
isn't  favorable  for  American  singers.  I  would  have  my 
heart  only  upon  the  very  highest !  Think  of  the  disappoint 
ment  !  What's  the  use  of  trying !  Besides,  I  prefer  acting. 
Consciousness  of  tragic  situations  dominates  me. 

RUSSELL.  But  there's  acting  in  music.  Sometimes  the 
singer  seems  radiant  with  light  and  fairly  dissolves  into 
the  meaning. 

MARY.  [Kindled.}  Always  with  our  lovely  Brenstedt! 
Then  all  nature  seems  a  temple  that  is  within  us,  alight 
with  living  pillars,  where  wondrous  rainbow  flashes,  sound 
ing  as  from  watch-towers  of  the  world's  experience,  enter 
the  dark  recesses  of  our  being,  lay  bare  our  hearts,  bring 
out  the  hidden  motives  of  the  soul,  and  light  up  for  us,  as 
if  for  our  inward  eye,  the  whole  panorama  of  human  life. 


24  TEE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

I  sometimes  feel  that  if  I  am — ever — stirred  to  the  depths, 
this  great  power  to  act  in  music  may  come  to  me. 

BUSSBLL.  Isn't  it  worth  while  to  move  toward  that  ob 
ject? 

MARY.  A  bird  must  hop  before  it  learns  to  soar.  [Be 
coming  thoughtful]  Miss  Chrysalis  comes  before  Madame 
Butterfly. 

BUSSBLL.  But  even  when  a  bird  is  walking,  we  know 
it  has  wings. 

MARY.  [Coming  out  of  her  reverie.]  I've  had  a  hard 
time  to  get  where  I  am  today,  and  I'm  not  going  to  give  it 
up.  Please,  tell  me  that  you  think  I  will  succeed. 

BUSSELL.  The  first  thing  I  ever  told  you  was  that  I  be 
lieved  in  you. 

MARY.  But  you  wanted  to  encourage  me.  Being  an 
understudy  is  not  inspiring. 

BUSSBLL.  The  world's  work  is  done  by  understudies. 
If  it  wasn't  for  the  working  under-secretaries  nothing 
would  go  right.  It's  the  big  bugs  that  make  the  big  blun 
ders.  Every  important  interest  depends  upon  the  man  just 
below  the  man  higher  up.  He  prepares  to  do  that  man's 
work — by  always  doing  it. 

MARY.  What  about  that  man? 

BUSSELL.  He  is  not  a  man.  He  is  only  money.  He  is 
the  underwriter. 

MARY.  I  see  it,  now!  He's  the  politics!  You  work  for 
money — you  think  for  money — you  write  for  others  to 

BUSSELL.  You  mustn't  talk  like  that.  [The  telephone 
rings.  BUSSELL  goes  to  answer  it.  He  turns  on  the  electric 
lamp.  MARY  watches  him,  walks  to  him  at  the  telephone, 
and  returns  to  her  seat  before  the  end,  always  thoughtful.] 
Hello.  Yes,  Mr.  Bullard.  This  is  Russell.  Calling  me? 
Didn't  you  think  I  was  in  Washington?  Your  informa 
tion  service  is  certainly  perfect.  Every  agency  in  the  world 
retained?  Oh!  Not  to  find  out  anything?  For  others f 
Yours  is  adequate  for  you,  all  right.  Well,  I  finished  my 
work  there;  it  was  useless  to  wait  around — I  did  what  £ 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  25 

went  for.  I  took  up  the  Pacific  argument  with  Count  Al- 
berg,  went  over  the  new  documents  and  the  list  of  members 
under  German  influence.  We  went  over  the  whole  situa 
tion  and  decided  how  to  proceed.  I  called  at  the  Baldwin- 
Smythes'  and  left  the  papers  with  the  social  secretary. 
I  then  gave  each  of  the  other  Ambassadors  the  ar 
gument  agreed  upon,  and  two  to  the  Papal  delegate, 
one  for  use  with  Catholics  from  the  Continent,  and 
one  for  Irish-Americans.  I  hammered  the  argument 
home  in  each  case.  What's  that?  Oh,  "trifles  make 
perfection."  Well,  I  was  thorough  enough.  We  manu 
factured  original  news  dispatches  from  every  capital 
in  Europe  for  every  day  in  the  next  thirty.  Boiler-plate? 
— Yes ! — A  month's  supply  for  a  hundred  million  people ! — 
Patent  insides — that's  it! — Yes! — For  the  heads  of  the 
dear  public!  I  arranged  for  more  press  matter  than  can 
be  used  in  a  month.  I  had  it  translated  for  the  foreign 
press  into  twenty-seven  languages  for  papers  reaching 
one-half  of  the  voting  population  of  the  United  States, 
with  head-lines  for  those  under  subsidy — Divide  and 
rule? — Yes. — That  seems  to  be  the  idea. — And  I  saw  to 
the  mailing  of  data  to  every  educator  on  our  list  with  in 
structions  to  those  under  retainer.  If  it  had  been  neces 
sary  to  stay  longer,  I  should  have  done  so. — All  right — 
I'll  be  here. — Good-bye !  [RUSSELL  puts  up  receiver,  walks 
back  to  the  sofa,  holding  his  chin  in  his  right  hand.]  He 
said  it  would  be  all  right.  He  always  says  that.  He  is  a 
sort  of  fatalist.  [Sitting  down  beside  MARY.]  Yet,  he  ap 
peared  displeased  because  I  came  back. 

MARY.  But  it  won't  be  all  right.    Things  are  never  right 
unless  people  make  them  right. 

[MARY  rises;  RUSSELL  follows  suit.] 

RUSSELL.    What! 

MARY.   I  want  to  know  who's  behind  Billiard.    Who  is 
underwriting  him? 

RUSSELL.  I  never  asked  him. 


26  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

MARY.  I'm  going  to  find  out.  There  is  something 
wicked  going  on  and  you  are  helping.  I  know  you  are 
working  in  the  dark,  but  you  shouldn't  be  willing  to.  You 
have  been  understudy  long  enough.  After  what  you  have 
done  all  by  yourself,  you  ought  to  be  ashamed  to  accept 
money  to  stay  outside — in  the  lobby.  Be  yourself,  go  into 
the  fight,  and  try  to  be  a  leader ! 

[MARY  sits  down;  RUSSELL  sits  beside  her.] 

RUSSELL.   Tour  leading  man?  Is  that  an  aspiration? 

MARY.  No.  The  country's  leading  man.  Put  some 
heart  into  American  citizenship.  Take  that  dash  out. 

RUSSELL.  Dash? — H'm! — The  snobbish  hyphen! — Or, 
perhaps,  the  alien?  They  all  keep  people  apart! 

MARY.    Both ! 

RUSSELL.  But — the  feminist  hyphen?  [Half  pleading, 
half  mocking,  half  offering.]  Don't  be  heartless,  Mary. 

[MARY'S  eyes  flash  with  a  suddenly  acquired  reso 
lution.] 

MARY.    I  do  not  intend  to  marry! 

RUSSELL.  Every  girl—  If  there  were  no  marriages 
there'd  be  no  race. 

MARY.  That  doesn't  follow.  The  modern  girl's  great 
impulse  is  to  become  the  best  she  is  fit  for. 

RUSSELL.  A  tadpole  or  a  tyrant  could  make  the  same 
plea.  Then  are — equally — divine  and  immortal.  [With 
tremendous  seriousness.]  I  wish  you  were  out  of  it  all. 

MARY.  Freed  through  marriage?  [Rising]  Emanci 
pated  as  a  daughter  only  "to  dwindle  into  a  wife!"  [ RUS 
SELL  rises.]  I  am  independent  now.  I'm  directing  my  own 
affairs — and  some  of  yours,  too. 

RUSSELL.  You  should  let  me  depend  upon  my  own  ef 
forts 

MARY.    Stand  on  your  own  feet.    Quit  Bullard. 

RUSSELL.    I  can't  quit  until  the  Pacific  Bill  is  passed. 

MARY.  Why,  that  very  measure  should  bring  you  to  the 
people's  side.  Give  BULLARD  his  answer  tonight! 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  27 

KUSSELL.  And  you?  Where  does  the  stage  fit  in  this 
scheme? 

MARY.  Well,  you  haven't  understood  me  yet.  You 
think  my  desire  to  act  is  merely  vanity. 

RUSSELL.  What  else  is  there  in  it? 

MARY.  Why,  patriotism — downright  patriotism — in  the 
stage,  as  it  interests  me.  I  see  not  the  individual  but  ag 
gregate  humanity,  and  I  see  acted  language  as  the  breath 
of  life.  I  would  make  the  stage  communicate  images  of 
social  life.  I've  always  lived  in  an  atmosphere  of  politics 
and  public  questions,  voiceless,  yet  never  heard  any  matter 
considered  from  a  point  of  view  a  girl  could  accept.  It's 
that  I  wish  to  express.  I  am  sure  there  is  need  for  it.  The 
human  nature  that  is  now  mirrored — in  a  dirty  mirror,  that 
reflects  only  the  surface  dimly — as  cheap  and  vulgar  and 
revolting,  is  not  what  is  deep  within  us.  The  reflection 
should  light  up  and  mirror  in  rays  that  the  impure  cannot 
withstand.  The  stage  is  the  only  place  where  a  woman's 
individuality  is  recognized,  and  where  she  can  really  be 
her  bigger  self.  The  stage  should  reflect  the  girl's  vision. 
It  is  the  only  open  avenue  for  a  woman  who  would  be  a 
leader  of  public  opinion. 

RUSSELL.  I  don't  see  that. 

MARY.  If  there  hadn't  been  actors,  there  wouldn't  have 
been  any  Shakespeare,  would  there?  Or  any  other  of  the 
great  plays?  There  never  was  a  great  play  that  didn't 
sound  the  depths  of  human  suffering  and  in  defiance  of  all 
else  argue  the  divine  cause  of  humanity.  The  playwright 
must  write  for  the  players  who  can  vitalize  his  play  and 
make  him  really  see  his  people  and  hear  his  written  words 
made  flesh  and  blood  and  thus  get  his  message  over  to  the 
public.  The  woman's  message  never  has  been,  but  must  be 
expressed.  Stage  women  who  see  and  feel  the  times  may 
inspire  our  drama  and,  thus,  guide  the  public.  Isn't  that 
wielding  personal  power?  Isn't  that  what  your  own  under 
writers  pay  for?  What  other  excuse  for  existence  has  the 
theatre  of  a  great  nation  than  to  express  national  aspira- 


28  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

tions!  I  don't  see  the  goal  clearly  yet,  but — [Closing  her 
eyes  as  if  in  delight]  I  have  had  my  vision  and  I'm  groping 
toward  the  light.  [MARY  opens  her  eyes  and  looks  at  Rus- 
SELL.  She  pauses  as  if  confronted  with  a  choice  between 
the  vision  she  has  just  recalled  and  another.  RUSSELL 
studies  her  with  aivakened  interest.  MARY  gives  a  sign  of 
having  made  her  choice.  KUSSELL  seems  crestfallen.  MARY 
proceeds  with  an  air  of  being  resolute.]  I'll  keep  on  until 
I  find  it.  But  I'll  not  sell  out  the  public  as  the  men  do. 
[MARY  speaks  more  softly.]  Art  can  never  be  selfish.  The 
dramatic  form  is  the  supreme  test  of  a  social  idea,  and  its 
best  vehicle.  The  theatre  should  be  made  so  useful  that  all 
the  churches  could  be  closed  and  turned  into  playhouses 
for  the  public  good.  "On  the  level"  patriotic  preaching 
hasn't  been  a  monologue  since  the  time  of  Aeschylus — 
twenty-four  hundred  years  ago.  Perhaps — if  I  make  a 
success  on  the  stage — I'll 

[MARY  walks  to  the  piano  and  sits  down.  RUSSELL 
follows  and  stands  near  her,  bending  over  the 
piano  at  the  curve  and  facing  the  audience.  In 
getting  to  this  position  he  arranges  the  decoration 
so  tJiat  Mary  becomes  visible  to  the  audience.  As 
she  sings,  in  turning  to  look  up  at  RUSSELL,  from 
time  to  time,  she  half  faces  the  audience.] 

RUSSELL.    [Eagerly.]    Will  you? 

MARY.  [Half  seriously,  half  coquettishly.]  Work  for 
the  other  thing.  [She  gives  him  a  look  of  tenderness.]  At 
any  rate,  you  have  made  me  feel — that  I  must  keep  up  my 
music,  too. 

RUSSELL.  [Standing  with  eyes  intent  upon  her,  as  if 
slowly  absorbing  her  thought.]  What  a  big  woman  you 
are,  and  what  a  blind  fool  I've  been !  I  ought  to  be  ashamed 
of  myself. 

MARY.   You're  a  dear. 

[She  runs  over  the  first  bars  of  "0  Belle  Nuit,"  and 
sings  to  throw  off  his  gaze.] 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  29 

Lovely  night,  oh,  night  of  love, 
Smile  down  on  our  caresses, 
Night  more  lovely  than  the  day, 
Lovely  night  of  love. 
Time  flies  on  without  return, 
And  carries  our  embraces, 
Far  from  this  most  happy  hour, 
To  come  again  nevermore. 
Soft  summer-night  breeze, 
Fold  us  in  with  your  kisses. 
The  balm  of  your  breath 
On  our  foreheads  let  play. 
Lovely  night,  oh,  night  of  love, 
Smile  down  on  our  caresses. 
Night  more  lovely  than  the  day, 
O  lovely  night  of  love. 

RUSSELL.  You're  always  like  that  to  me. 

MARY.  It's  your  own  work !  [She  observes  that  he  is 
again  fa  a  spell.}  You  came  into  my  life  in  the  harmony  of 
my  favorite  theme — from  Schumann's  Sonata  in  F  sharp 
minor.  Fate  put  you  on  my  telephone,  while  I  was  playing 
it  in  a  dream.  I  saw  a  rushing  waterfall  and  heard  the 
tinkling  sound  of  water  falling  from  a  great  height. 

Intermezzo. 

Lento. 


[MARY  plays  the  theme,  the  eight  bars  and  the  first 
three  bars  and  the  first  note  of  the  fourth  re 
peated.] 

The  bell  rang  at  the  high  note  and  I  saw  you  standing 


30  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

on  the  edge  of  the  precipice  and  almost  heard  your  yoke 
before  I  awoke.  It  was  one  of  Fate's  splendid  blunders. 
My  heart  opened  to  you,  and  to  a  new  world  at  the  sound 
of  your  voice. 

[She  unconsciously  runs  over  "Mon  coeur  louvre  a 
ta  voix,"  from  "Samson  and  Delilah."] 

RUSSELL.  When  we  met  a  moment  in  the  hall  down 
stairs  here  next  day,  I  knew  your  voice. 

MARY.  And  I  yours.  And  you  had  remembered  that 
wrong  number.  I  did  dream  true ! 

RUSSELL.   And  I  called  it  again. 

[MARY  sings  at  first  softly,  then  louder.  RUSSELL 
arouses  himself,  walks  around  so  as  to  stand  be 
side  her,  comes  gradually  into  the  singing,  and 
they  end  together.] 

MABY. 

My  heart  expands  at  thy  loved  voice, 

As  flowers  at  dawn  of  day ; 

Speak  on  and  make  my  soul  rejoice 

And  all  my  fears  allay. 

Tell  me  once  more  that  thou  hast  come 

To  bless  Delilah's  love; 

And  never  more  will  from  her  roam. 

Answer — my  love — my  love. 

Joys — more  than  heaven  above 

Await  our  happy  love, 

[Singing  together.] 

MARY.    Samson !    Samson !    I  love  thee ! 
RUSSELL.    Delilah !    Delilah !    I  love  thee ! 

[MARY  rises  from  the  piano.] 

RUSSELL.  [He  draws  her  to  him,  and  exclaims.]  You're 
not  a  girl. 

[ALICE  appears  at  the  left  of  the  banquet  room  and 
walks  to  the  edge  of  the  stairs.  Her  gown  is  pure 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  31 

white  and,  in  the  dim  light,  she  comes  upon  the 
scene  as  if  an  apparition.  As  she  sees  RUSSELL 
and  MARY  she  stops  suddenly,  confused,  and  as 
if  not  knowing  ivhat  to  think  or  do.  She  walks 
backward  quickly,  looking  toward  RUSSELL  and 
MARY  only  to  see  that  she  is  not  observed,  and 
disappears  at  the  left  side  of  the  banquet  room.] 

RUSSELL.  [Softly,  in  a  very  human  tone.}  You're  a 
goddess ! 

MARY.  [Not  resisting.]  I'm  not.  [ RUSSELL  embraces 
her.]  Oh!  [MARY  struggles.]  Oh!  [The  telephone 
rings.]  Oh !— Oh !—  [The  telephone  rings.]  Oh ! !  [MARY 
disengages  herself  from  RUSSELL^S  embrace.]  Oh!!!  You 
shouldn't  have  kissed  me  like  that.  You  haven't  since  then. 
[MARY  shuts  her  eyes  and  shudders.]  You  must  promise 
not  to. 

RUSSELL.  I  do  promise.  It's  three  months  since — that 
— seashore — summer  night. 

MARY.    And  you  have  been  good. 

RUSSELL.    That  was  my  last  glass  of  wine. 

MARY.  And  my  first  and  last.  And — you've  seen  me 
almost  every  day.  You've  been  so  good  to  me. 

RUSSELL.    I  can't  bear  to  think  of  all  this  ending. 

[The  telephone  rings.    MARY  and  RUSSELL  start  to 
ward  the  telephone.] 

MARY.  I'd  better  answer.  [She  takes  the  telephone  and 
listens.  Turning  to  RUSSELL.]  It's  Alice  Morse.  [Pointing 
to  the  door.]  No,  wait.  Be  quiet.  Don't  breathe.  [MARY 
sits  down  before  the  telephone;  RUSSELL  stands  near,  watch 
ing  her  and  listening.  The  door  at  right,  near  the  piano, 
opens,  and  BULLARD  half  enters,  but  withdraws  before  he 
is  observed,  and  holds  the  door  ajar  so  that  he  may  listen 
and  be  seen  by  the  audience.  His  apparent  desire  is  to  know 
ivhcn  to  enter  after  the  telephone  call  is  finished.  MARY 
and  RUSSELL  have  their  backs  turned.  BULLARD  is  carrying 


32  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

his  overcoat  on  his  arm  and  his  hat,  walking  stick,  and 
gloves  in  his  Jiand.  He  gives  a  slight  indication  of  being 
intoxicated.  To  telephone.]  Hello!  Is  that  you,  Alice? 
Yes.  This  is  Mary. — No,  I'll  come  up  to  you.  There  isn't 
anyone  down  here  yet.  You  heard  the  piano? — Of  course, 
I  was  playing  and  singing. — Yes,  that  was  Mr.  Turner.  He 
was  just  passing  through  and  stopped  a  moment  to  join  in. 
He  said  he  thought  you  might  be  here.  No.  Don't  come 
down. — I  think  he  went  downstairs — to  the  parlor.  Of 
course,  I'm  not  avoiding  you.  Oh,  I  know  you  look  wonder 
ful.  Will  you?  You're  a  sweetheart.  Yes,  dear.  Good-bye. 
Good-bye. 

[MARY  pauses  a  moment  in  thought  and  then  turn* 
around  quickly  to  face  RUSSELL.] 

RUSSELL.  You're  a  born  diplomat.  Literally  honest! 
You  ought  to  be  sent  abroad  to  lie  for  your  country. 

MARY.  [Not  noticing  what  he  has  said,  MARY  speaks  as 

if  her  tongue  were  thick  and  dry.]  If  it  kills  me  to  tell 

[MARY  bows  her  head.  BULLARD  assumes  the  attitude  of 
unwillingness  to  hear  and  closes  the  door.  He  has  not  seen 
MARY  or  RUSSELL,  but  has  heard  their  voices.  MARY  looks 
up  at  RUSSELL.]  For  years  we  two  girls  hadn't  an  un 
shared  thought.  And — now — if  I,  why  not  she ! — If  there 
is  anything  between  you  two — she  must  know  from  me. 

RUSSELL.    But  there  isn't,  and  never  can  be. 

MARY.     You  came  here!     [Thinking.]     Victor! 

RUSSELL.  Senator  Morse  pressed  me  to.  And  I  hoped 
he  would  you.  My  wish  was  gratified. 

MARY.     [As  if  satisfied.]  I  haven't  any  jealousy  in  me. 

RUSSELL.  7  have.  [Drawing  Ms  hand  across  his  fore 
head.]  You  are  spared  evil  dreams. 

MARY.   And  Alice  has — and  every  other  woman. 

RUSSELL.  [Taking  MARY'S  right  hand.]  I  have  waited 
for  you  to  bring  love  into  my  life.  I  can't  let  you  go  now. 

[MARY  withdraws  her  hand.] 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  33 

MARY.   There  might  be  a  reason — if  I  told  yon. 

RUSSELL.  [Not  catching  her  meaning.]  You  would  say 
that  every  reason  existed.  Love  is  a  higher  reason.  I  have 
tried  to  resist.  But  the  higher  wisdom  prevailed.  It  seems 
to  me  now  the  most  natural  thing  in  the  world.  I  feel  that 
you  belong  to  me. 

MARY.    That's  why  7  can't  tell  you. 

RUSSELL.  What? 

[MARY  rises  and  faces  RUSSELL.] 

MARY.    That  I  do— 
RUSSELL.  You  mean ? 

[She  speaks  calmly  and  tenderly.] 

MARY.  Love  without  marriage  is  better  than  marriage 
without  love. 

RUSSELL.     If  you  knew 

MARY.  If  you  knew 

RUSSELL.   My  marriage 

MARY.     [Startled.]     What  marriage? 

RUSSELL.  You  should  have  known  that  ten  years  ago  I 
married  without  love. 

MARY.    It  isn't  true !    Tell  me  it  isn't  true ! 

RUSSELL.  [Penitently.]  It  has  taken  me  too  long  to 
tell  you  that  it  is.  After  four  years  we  separated. 

MARY.    [Hopefully  awaiting  the  sequel.]    Yes ! 

RUSSELL.  [Conscious  of  disappointing  her.]  There  arc 
two  little  girls.  The  mother  has  been  wasting  away 

from [As  if  brooding.]  A  deep  personal  sorrow 

struck  across — her — life. 

MARY.   [Sadly.]  Why  didn't  you  tell  me? 

RUSSELL.  I  kept  trying 

MARY.  [Sitting  down  "before  the  table  and  resting  her 
arm  upon  the  back  of  the  chair  and  bowing  her  head. ]  Why 
didn't  somebody  tell  me? 

RUSSELL.    We  have  scarcely  given  occasion. 

MARY.    There  couldn't  have  been  a  chance ! 


34  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

[RUSSELL  bends  over  MABY.] 

RUSSELL.  It  has  been  a  miracle.  This  has  all  grown 
upon  me.  It  went  on  from  the  first  day  we  met  and  then  it 
was  too  late.  There  is  a  side — I  felt  I  hadn't  the  right  to 
tell. — If  you  had  known,  you  would  not  have  let  me  help 
you.  And  soon  I  could  not  let  anybody  say  that  you  had 
known.  The  problem  was  too  much  for  me.  I  kept  think 
ing  of  life  without  you,  and  I  was  afraid.  I  wanted  to  help 
you  from  a  distance,  but — I  was  so  thoughtless — I  kept 
right  on! 

[MABY  looks  up  at  RUSSELL.] 

MARY.  Perhaps,  I  might  not  have  been  strong  enough. 
There's  something  carrying  me  onward,  too.  I  am  trying 
not  to  make  it  hard.  Perhaps — we — love  one  another — be 
cause  we — are — weak. 

RUSSELL.   To  know  yon  and  then  to  lose  you! 

MARY.  It  is  /  who  should  say  that.  Many  a  night  have 
I  gone  down  on  my  knees  and  thanked  the  God  who  sent 
you  to  me  that  you  had  come  into  my  life.  Yours  was  the 
first  great  sympathy. 

RUSSELL.    But  you  can't  now ? 

MARY.  Now,  more  than  ever.  When  you  came  I  was 
starving  for  honest  companionship  in  this  great  city.  But 
you  have  meant  more.  To  have  had  the  true  love  of  such  a 
man  as  you  and  to  have  but  one  man  in  my  life  and  that  the 
right  one — no  woman  conld  ask  more. 

RUSSELL.  You're  so  good  to  tell  me  that, 

MARY.  [Very  sadly.]    But  I  must  go  away,  Russell. 

RUSSELL.    You  don't  mean  that! 

MARY.  Yes — [Rising] — T  mean  just  that.  [Looking  him 
squarely  in  the  eyes,  remaining  silent  a  moment,  and  then 
speaking  slowly.  Her  mouth  seems  to  twitch  a  moment 
before  the  utterance  of  sound.]  I  won't  see  you  again, 
and  I  won't  accept  anything  from  you.  Whether  the  other 
woman  has  lost  you  or  not,  is  not  for  me  to  judge.  No 
matter  who  she  is  or  what  she  may  have  done,  I  should 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  35 

never  knowingly  hare  taken  away  her  slightest  chance, 
and — [shuddering} — whatever  the  cost — I'll  not  do  it  now. 
I  asked  no  questions  and  I  made  the  mistake — just  exactly 
as  father  said  I  should.  I  love  you.  I  have  never  loved 
anyone  else,  and  now  I  never  can.  You  are  everything 
to  me, — more  than  you  can  know.  And  I  can't  give  you 
tip.  But 

RUSSELL.  You  needn't.  And  soon  we  may  let  the 
world  know Let  them  talk  who  would! 

MARY.  Now  the  world  must  never  know — the  nat 
ural,  destructive  busybodies [Becomes  dramatic.] 

And  I  can't  care  what  they  would  think.  Let  them  have 
their  proprieties  and  their  dull  domesticity — the  hum 
drum,  inexorable  staleness  of  the  rmescapable  sex-thrall 
of  contiguous  lives — which  they  call  happiness,  those  who 
are  willing  to  pay  the  price.  I  have  loved — I  have  not  lost. 
I  have  felt  and  now  I  can  make  others  feel.  I  have  been 
inspired  and  now  I  can  inspire.  I'll  commence  noiv  with 
you,  and  from  that  I'll  grow  and  broaden.  I  can  be  thank 
ful  that  I  am  a  witless  girl  no  longer — I  have  lived,  and  I 
shall  suffer — as  only  a  woman  can — and  then  I  shall  know 
how  to  bring  tears  to  my  own  and  others'  eyes,  tears  of 
joy,  and  love,  and  sympathy.  I'll  stir  a  common  heartbeat 
of  the  people.  [Becomes  natural.]  Perhaps — [The  door 
at  the  left  opens  and  BULLARD  is  seen.  He  appears  to  recog 
nize  the  voice  he  had  heard  at  the  door  at  the  right,  and  to 
realize  that  his  wandering  search  has  only  brought  him  to 
the  other  side  of  the  wrong  room] — it  will  be  music  after 
all,  and  Europe,  too.  It  begins  to  seem — [BULLARD  draws 
the  door  closed  and  disappears] — necessary  and  natural 
and  best.  Why  do  you  always  get  your  way?  [The  sound 
of  the  elevator  indicates  that  it  is  descending  from  the 
floor  above.]  Thus  to  attain  the  self-loss  that  is  art!  Bus- 
sell,  dear,  I  believe  there's  something  good  in  all  this. 

[She  runs  out  at  door  at  right.    KUSSELL  stands  and 
stares.    The  door  at  the  left  opens.] 


36  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

RUSSELL.    [As  if  awakening  from  a  dream.]    Mary ! 

[Enter  SENATOR  MORSE  and  MRS.  MORSE  from  door 
at  left.  They  are  old-fashioned  Yankees  who  have 
risen  to  leadership  by  remaining  Yankees  and 
keeping  their  feet  on  the  ground.  They  have  seen 
MARY  without  MARY  or  RUSSELL  knowing.  They 
exchange  glances,  agreeing  upon  ignoring  what 
they  have  seen.  SENATOR  MORSE  goes  to  a  wall 
button  and  turns  on  the  lights.  They  act  as  if 
only  the  turning  on  of  the  lights  had  disclosed 
RUSSELL'S  presence.  RUSSELL  starts  in  surprise 
at  the  lights  and  turns  around  to  learn  the  cause.] 

SENATOR  MORSE.    Hello,  Russell.    Glad  to  see  you. 

RUSSELL.  How  do  you  do,  Senator.  I  hope  you  are 
well,  Mrs.  Morse? 

MRS.  MORSE.  How  have  you  been?  Always  saving  the 
nation,  I  suppose. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Saving  the  nation  from  the  attacks  of 
the  people,  I'm  afraid.  That's  a  common  occupation,  now 
adays.  Too  common. 

RUSSELL.  We  put  it  this  way,  that  the  people  need  to  be 
saved  from  their  public  servants. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  That's  the  way  Bullard  puts  it,  no 
doubt.  Alice  said  you  were  down  here  with  Mary. 

RUSSELL.    Yes. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  A  fine  girl,  that.  Strong  character, 
good  family. 

MRS.  MORSE.  We  can't  see  enough  of  her — but  she's  been 
keeping  away  from  us  these  three  months. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  I've  known  Sam  Flint  for  fifty  years. 
And,  as  a  boy,  I  knew  the  father — old  Deacon  Phineas 
Flint— he  takes  after.  Sam's  a  psalm-singing  Progressive, 
but  a  splendid  fellow.  You'll  like  him,  and  I  think  he'll 
like  you.  Typically  American !  Uncle  Sam — we  call  him. 

RUSSELL.    Yes.    I  should  like  him. 


TEE  WASTREL  HOARD.  37 

MRS.  MORSE.  And  Mary's  mother  is  such  a  dear.  [Smil 
ing.]  She's  a  sort  of  cousin  of  mine. 

RUSSELL.     [Smiling  in  response.]     That  explains  it. 

MRS.  MORSE.  Thank  you.  She's  been  an  invalid  these 
last  few  years.  Mary's  got  quite  away  from  her — and— 
Sam  hasn't  been  much  of  a  mother  to  Mary. 

RUSSELL.    Naturally. 

MRS.  MORSE.  What  Mary  needs  is  the  influence  of  a 
strong  man;  some  one  stronger  than  she. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    I'm  afraid  such  men  are  rare. 

MRS.  MORSE.  She  ought  to  marry  and  settle  down.  I've 
told  her  so,  often — but  she  doesn't  seem  to  care  for  anyone. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  She'll  come  out  all  right.  Get  to  know 
her  well,  Russell,  she's  a  tonic.  Just  what  you  need. 

RUSSELL.  Come  now,  Senator,  am  I  so  heavy  as  all 
that? 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Well,  you  let  your  troubles  bother  you 
too  much.  You've  been  honorable  about  it  all.  The  world 
doesn't  ask  you  to  mope  around  all  your  life. 

MRS.  MORSE.    You  have  forgiven  her. 

RUSSELL.  When  she  came  to  me  six  years  ago — [The 
chimes  in  the  library  strike  once  for  the  third  quarter] — 
and  asked  me  to  forgive  her,  I  said  that  no  act  of  any  wom 
an  ever  depended  on  a  man's  mercy  for  its  justfication.  I 
believed  that  then ;  I  know  it  now. 

[The  small  clock  in  ttie  library  strikes  three  time$ 
for  the  quarter  hour.] 

MRS.  MORSE.  But  you  pardoned — the  lie — the  decep 
tion 

RUSSELL.    That  was  not  for  me  to  do. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  It  has  been  a  severe  discipline  for  you. 

RUSSELL.  Until  a  man  has  learned  to  suffer  for  a 
woman,  he  has  not  proved  himself  her  equal. 

MRS.  MORSE.  You  could  help  that  girl.  She  needs 
friends,  especially  your  kind. 


38  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

[The  clock  above  strikes  three  times.] 

RUSSELL.    We  all  need  friends. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  And  she'd  do  you  a  lot  of  good.  Your 
present  situation  is  unnatural;  few  men  could  stand  up 
under  it — without  a  wrenching  of  character  and  a  warping 
of  their  very  souls. 

[The  clock  below  strikes  once.] 

MRS.  MORSE.  I'll  warrant  she'd  take  you  away  from 
Foster  Bullard. 

RUSSELL.    And  my  income? — their  income? 

SENATOR  MORSE.  That's  Bullard's  bait.  I've  seen  him 
ruin  many  a  promising  man  with  his  money.  He  has  au 
thority  to  draw  on  his  principals  for  any  amount  without 
notice — on  the  remotest  chance  of  benefit  to  them.  Most 
of  his  victims  and  accomplices  are  unconscious  that  they 
are  working  for  him.  He  gets  people  to  use  corrupt  money 
without  suspicion  as  to  its  source. 

MRS.  MORSE.  He's  a  bad  influence.  Everybody  knows 
it,  but  nobody  dares  to  cut  him. 

RUSSELL.    He's  a  very  agreeable  man. 

MRS.  MORSE.  That  kind  all  are.  By  irresistibly  se 
ductive  courtesies — they  conceal  the — cloven  hoof. 

[MRS.  MORSE  goes  to  examine  the  seating  arrange 
ments.  RUSSELL  talks  at  first  as  if  to  both  MRS. 
MORSE  and  SENATOR  MORSE,  but  gradually  becomes 
engrossed  in  his  talk  to  SENATOR  MORSE.] 

SENATOR  MORSE.  He  knows  something  about  every 
body, — who  is  anybody. 

MRS.  MORSE.  He  is  good  looking — [Smiling] — resem 
bles  you. 

RUSSELL.    Thank  you ! 

MRS.  MORSE.    But  that  gives  him  no  right  to  ruin  you. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  He  knows  something  about  everybody. 
That's  how  he  gets  in.  He  keeps  a  card  catalogue  of  every 
heir  to  more  than  fifty  thousand  dollars. 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  39 

RUSSELL.  He  knows  something  about  everything,  and  he 
has  brains.  He  began  his  law  studies  at  fifty.  That  spells 
purpose. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  No  doubt  about  that.  It  was  he  who 
taught  Merwin  to  cultivate  heirs,  ally  them  to  his  system, 
and  hand  them  paper  in  exchange  for  their  legacies.  His 
organization  is  as  perfect  as  that  of  the  lost-heir  grafters. 
He's  really  the  King  of  Confidence  Men. 

RUSSELL.  I  am  sorry  I  asked  you  to  invite  him. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  It  just  suits  my  plan.  To  conciliate 
me  he'll  talk.  I've  wished  for  a  long  time  to  get  the  real 
Bullard  to  show  himself  to  you — the  man  of  brains  who 
sins  against  the  light. 

RUSSELL.    You  have  me  here — because  I  haven't  brains. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Nonsense,  my  boy.  My  belief  in  you  is 
absolute. 

RUSSELL.  I  appreciate  that  from  you.  It  is  enough  in 
itself  to  make  a  man. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  All  a  good  many  folks  want  is  just 
believing  in  them. 

RUSSELL.    But  some  require  a  good  deal? 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Not  you.  In  your  case  it  is  not  only 
my  good  will;  it  is  my  judgment  of  you.  Bullard  knows 
well  enough  you  have  brains,  but  7  have  you  here  often  be 
cause  you  have  character. 

RUSSELL.  Don't  the  two  go  together? 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Not  in  most  people.  Crooked  wisdom 
is  the  commonest  kind.  Brainy  men  often  don't  know 
enough  to  go  straight. 

RUSSELL.    They  haven't  that  quality  of  brains. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Well,  that's  the  only  kind  worth  hav 
ing.  Some  day  people  will  stop  praising  the  sharp  and 
worthless  man  just  because  he  gets  away  with  it.  You  can 
prove  your  quality  by  breaking  with  Bullard.  He's 
the  creator  of  the  worst  thing  in  America — the  religion  of 
the  pocket-book — esprit  de  corps  among  the  rich. 


40  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

RUSSELL.  Yet  some  days,  when  he  is  moody,  he  goes 
on  as  if  the  rich  man  was  to  him  a  fiend  incarnate.  ? 

SENATOR  MORSE.     One  crossed  him  many  years  ago. 

RUSSELL.     Money? 

SENATOR  MORSE.  A  woman.  Bullard  would  have  made 
her  great.  They  were  both  from  Boston — a  thing  no  native 
ever  got  over  during  his  natural  life — and  each  had  an 
obsession.  He  gave  up  everything  to  follow  her  to  New 
York.  She  was  the  one  generous  passion  of  his  life. 

RUSSELL.     Did  they  quarrel? 

SENATOR  MORSE.  For  the  moment — and  in  a  fit  of  pique 
— he  believed  she  would  be  great  and — well,  she  thought,  I 
suppose,  he  expected  too  much  faith  from  her. 

RUSSELL.     The  other  man — was  rich? 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Immensely.  Sweet  Lily  Earle — a 
beautiful  creature — he  could  dictate  to  the  theatre — and, 
he  could  gratify  at  once  her  great  ambition. 

RUSSELL.  To  lead — to  star — the  most  gripping  of  pas 
sions — and — 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Well — Chance  came  upon  her  like  a 
cyclone ;  the  newfound  friend  married  her  the  day  they  met- 

RUSSELL.    That  was  sudden!    A  whirlwind  courtship! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  She  was  a  singer — a  poor  girl.  Chance 
made  her  suddenly  rich  and  permanently  miserable.  I 
remember  it  well.  It  was  just  after  our  marriage — in 
October  of  1880.  I  was  trying  the  famous  Harward  mur 
der  case,  and  young  Dr.  Bullard  was  to  be  a  witness,  but 
he  was  so  rattled,  I  couldn't  put  him  on.  A  few  days  later, 
I  learned  the  reason,  when  I  went  with  Mrs.  Morse  to 
Haverly's  Fifth  Avenue  Theatre  to  see  Sweet  Lily  Earle 
in  Anna  E.  Dickinson's  great  hit,  "An  American  Girl." 
There,  in  a  box,  resplendent,  sat  Chance,  master  of  the 
ceremonies.  In  the  box  opposite,  were  General  Garfielcl 
and  "Chet"  Arthur,  Republican  candidates  for 

RUSSELL.     You  say  "chance".    Do  you  mean ? 

SENATOR  MORSE.     I  mean  Victor's  father. 

RUSSELL.     I've  never  heard  Bullard  speak  of  that'! 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  41 

SENATOR  MORSE.  You  never  will.  His  rage  for  a  time 
was  terrible,  but — well — time  softens  every  grief — and  she 
has  been  dead — [RUSSELL'S  look  darkens} — many  years. 

RUSSELL.    But  it's  certain  he  still  lives  on  that  memory. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  To  me  his  reckless  course  attests  the 
depth  of  his  attachment.  It  has  stirred  up  his  real  self. 

RUSSELL.  You  are  right.  Since  I  met — well,  you  know, 
at  college  I  got  to  know  the  sons  of  the  rich  pretty  well  in  a 
certain  way.  I  tutored  a  good  many,  among  them  some 
crown  prices  of  the  money  power.  One  in  particular  was 
gent  to  me  by  his  father  to  be  taught  to  write.  At  twenty 
Junior  could  scarcely  write  his  own  name  legibly.  In  the 
next  room  to  me  was  a  boy  who  in  winter  had  to  sit  upon  a 
table  with  the  gas  lighted  so  as  to  study  without  freezing. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  The  hard  student's  a  success,  I'll  bet. 

RUSSELL.  He's  a  fine  bank  clerk  now — with  neither  cap 
ital  nor  a  union  card — a  member  of  the  great  American 
framed-up  cultured  middle  class,  whose  learning  and  fine 
traditions  profit  them  only  to  sharpen  the  sense  of  their 
own  helplessness. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    Well,  the  pampered  pet  is  a  failure. 

RUSSELL.  Again  the  old  order  changeth.  "Three  gen 
erations  from  shirt-sleeves  to  shirt-sleeves"  is  a  worn-out 
adage,  and  should  be  decently  buried.  My  pupil's  signa 
ture  is  good  for  millions  any  day  and  he  passes  on  the 
credit  of  business  houses  aggregating  billions. 

SENATOR  MORSE.   One  more  guess — inherited  qualities. 

RUSSELL.  In  a  way.  The  failure's  father  pioneered  in 
the  West.  The  other's  harvested  in  Wall  Street.  Equality ! 
This  'rah!  'rah!  and  haw!  haw!  business  is  all  right  for 
boys,  but  it  dulls  our  sense  of  true  values  and  it  has  spread 
to  all  classes  and  all  ages.  Our  so-called  wholesome  he 
roics  are  about  the  same  as  heroin  and  have  the  same  effect 
— to  breed  fatalists  and  foster  barbarians.  I  am  begin 
ning  to  feel  that  it  contains  a  great  menace. 

SENATOR  MORSE.     It  is  still  possible  in  this  country  of 


42  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

opportunity  for  a  poor  boy  to  rise  by  sheer  ability  to  great 
wealth  and  power. 

RUSSELL.  That  possibility  doesn't  encourage  the  suc 
cessful  to  let  the  boys  who  inherit  that  ability  start  with 
that  chance.  Our  people  overlook  that  luminous  circum 
stance  ! 

MRS.  MORSE.  Our  people  are  very  intelligent,  I  think. 
They  always  vote  right  at  elections. 

RUSSELL.  Elections !  Why,  all  the  fool  voters  get  now  at 
elections  is  a  rain-check  for  the  next  election. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Well,  all  can't  be  political  philoso 
phers.  "We  cannot  all  be  masters !" 

RUSSELL.  Why  not !  The  needs  of  the  poor  are  the  best 
guide  to  public  policy. 

[MRS.  MORSE  turns  to  the  others  and  listens.] 

SENATOR  MORSE.   But  the  hungry  man  can't  think. 

MRS.  MORSE.    And  the  well-fed  man  won't. 

RUSSELL.  But  there's  the  great  middle  class,  to  whom 
thought  is  more  than  mere  food  and  drink.  It's  time  for 
everybody  to  think  when  the  greatest  criminal  still  unhung 
can  buy  a  national  convention,  own  a  national  government, 
control  a  great  church,  debauch  the  press,  poison  the  wells 
of  knowledge  by  private  retainers  to  university  teachers, 
dominate  the  courts  and  prosecuting  attorneys  so  as  to  keep 
himself  out  of  the  penitentiary — protect  his  thefts  of  pub 
lic  property,  insure  fabulous  dividends  and  interest  on 
stolen  stocks  and  bonds,  oppress  all  who  oppose  him,  and, 
in  order  to  overturn  an  inconvenient  principle  of  law  or 
government,  reduce  the  whole  fabric  of  private,  social,  and 
international  justice  to  a  useless  and  chaotic  mass  of  false 
precedent,  conflict,  waste,  and  positive  injustice. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Business  men  don't  care  for  justice; 
what  they  want  is  results. 

RUSSELL.  When  one  man  is  suffered  to  imagine  himself 
superior  to  the  rest,  that  is  the  result  they'll  get. 

MRS.  MORSE.    That's  a  serious  indictment,  Russell. 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  43 

RUSSELL.  Such  men  make  life  for  most  people  a  pretty 
Berious  thing,  and  people  would  better  realize  what  they  are 
working  against.  I  know  any  number  of  brilliant  men  of 
forty,  who  have  done  the  hardest  kind  of  well-directed  hon 
est  work  for  twenty  years,  who,  just  because  they  won't 
eell  out,  can't  keep  up  a  respectable  home  for  their  small 
families. 

[SENATOR  MORSE  shakes  his  head  as  if  not  caring  to 
dissent.] 

MRS.  MORSE.  You've  left  out  the  good  side. 

RUSSELL.  I  don't  see  it — only  the  other  side.  It's  Bui- 
lard's  bitterness,  not  his  zeal,  that  seems  to  work  in  me. 
/  wish  I  could  afford  to  break  away  from  him.  But  I  have 
my  duty  to  others.  I've  had  to  sell  out ! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Take  the  jump ;  I'll  see  you  don't  lose 
by  it.  I'll  help  you. 

RUSSELL.    I  confess  I  dislike  to  hurt  his  feelings. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    Bless  my  soul,  he  hasn't  any  feeling. 

MRS.  MORSE.  John's  an  older  man  than  you  are,  Rus- 
gell.  His  judgment  is  good  in  such  matters.  On  moral 
questions  he  is  almost  clairvoyant ! 

RUSSELL.  I  don't  like  to  break  suddenly.  The  Pacific 
bill  is  the  most  important  matter  he  ever  had. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  That's  the  only  way.  The  longer  you 
cook  and  coddle  an  uncertainty,  the  stronger  it  gets.  The 
biggest  thing  a  man  can  do  is  to  realize  he's  in  a  tight 
place  and  to  break  loose  without  delay. 

RUSSELL.  It  doesn't  seem  fair  to  Bullard.  He  depends 
on  me  absolutely. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  It's  the  only  fair  way.  Let  him  know 
where  you  stand.  This  Pacific  business  is  sure  to  create  a 
ecandal  and  perhaps  a  war.  To  have  that  Canal  freely 
used  not  only  by  our  ships  but  by  those  of  all  nations  will 
be  a  matter  of  life  and  death  to  the  struggling  masses  of 
the  next  generation.  When  political  matters  are  dealt 
with,  the  mind  must  take  in  the  future.  Bullard's  Bill  is 


44  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

an  attempt  to  fix  the  System  on  the  American  people  and  on 
the  world  for  the  next  hundred  years.  That  is  why  Fin  op 
posing  the  Bill  so  strenuously.  I  want  to  make  my  position 
clear.  Transportation  is  the  power  to  bring  people  closer ! 

MRS.  MORSE.  John  is  right,  Russell.  He  usually  sees 
over  other  men's  heads. 

RUSSELL.  But  /  can't  think  of  Bullard  as  a  vicious  man. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Bullard,  my  dear  boy,  is  but  an  epi 
sode  in  the  cycle  of  vice.  Men  and  women  indulge  in 
habits,  like  the  use  of  tobacco  and  strong  drink  and  drugs, 
heady,  pernicious  things,  which  lead  from  one  vice  to  an 
other  and  consume  the  fruits  of  land  that  might  grow 
bread.  Men  and  women  drink  because  drink  enables  them 
to  indulge  their  comic  sense  in  the  face  of  their  own  tragedy 
and  to  forget  the  sense  of  false  inequality  of  our  times,  and 
the  people  on  the  other  end  of  the  equation  are  glad  to  let 
them  forget  it.  And  behold ! — upon  the  profits  of  this  in 
dulgence  arises  a  new  financial  dynasty,  which  invests  its 
surplus  in  railroads  and  other  things,  including  govern 
ment — which  it  controls  with  the  aid  of  vice  and  its  pur 
veyors — or,  if  need  be,  by  war.  They  poison  humanity ! 

RUSSELL.  So,  it  isn't  being  vicious  we  need  to  avoid, 
but  just  the  being  episodes. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Yes,  Russell,  society  is  like  a  complex 
chemical  compound  in  which  no  one  ingredient  is  all- 
powerful.  It  isn't  big  causes  which  make  things  go  wrong. 
It's  all  the  little  elements,  the  little  things  we  do  and  don't 
do.  [RUSSELL  begins  to  ponder  what  is  being  said  in  gen 
eral  terms,  and  appears  to  be  taking  it  home  to  himself.] 
When  a  boy  has  once  learned  that  there  is  nothing  smart  in 
taking  a  drink  that  he  doesn't  want,  he  has  taken  a  long 
step  on  the  road  to  real  manhood.  When  a  man  has  once 
got  the  habit  of  seeing  every  woman  who  comes  under  his 
influence  with  his  own  mother's  arm  about  her  waist,  he 
has  already  adopted  the  principal  chapter  in  the  code  of 
the  real  gentleman;  when  a  poor  man  has  once  learned  the 
superior  comfort  of  going  hungry  to  being  sated  on  coin- 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  45 

promising  money,  he  lias  gone  far  toward  establishing  his 
real  respectability ;  and  when  a  rich  man  has  once  learned 
that  satisfaction  over  his  own  money -safety  in  the  midst 
of  the  want  of  others  can  only  exist  in  a  filthy  mind,  he  is 
already  in  serious  danger  of  becoming  a  member  of  really 
decent  society. 

MRS.  MORSE.  And  when  those  things  happen,  society  as 
a  whole  will  have  taken  a  great  leap  forward. 

[ RUSSELL  seems  ready  to  surrender  before  this  ad 
vice.    SENATOR  MORSE  comes  up  to  him  and  places 
his  right  hand  on  RUSSELL'S  shoulder.] 
RUSSELL.  We  do  neglect  chemistry — mental,  moral,  so 
cial,  and  commercial — a  fundamental  error,  as  DR.  BUL- 
LARD  himself  says — and  society  is  nothing  without  a  com 
mon  philosophy  based  upon  scientific  fact. 

SENATOR  MORSE.     We  had  a  son  once,  and  he  would 
have  been  just  your  age. 

[RUSSELL  appears  overcome  ~by  a  sense  of  the  depth 
and  the  worth  of  the  friendship  of  SENATOR  MORSE 
and  MRS.  MORSE  for  him.] 
RUSSELL.    I'll  speak  to  Bullard  tonight. 
SENATOR  MORSE.  We'll  see  that  you  get  a  chance. 
RUSSELL.  I'll  try  to  have  it  over  with. 

[Enter  MUSICIANS  from  right.    They  tune  up  and 
commence  playing,  and  continue  when  appropri 
ate  up  to  the  end  of  the  act.] 
SENATOR  MORSE.  Here  is  Bullard  now. 

[Enter  BULLARD  from  left,  without  overcoat  and 
hat.  BULLARD  is  a  drinking  man.  The  audience 
is  apprised  of  that  fact  by  the  swagger  of  his 
speech,  that  of  a  Yankee  provincialized  by  the  me 
tropolis,  the  tenor  of  his  remarks,  and  by  appar 
ently  insignificant  mannerisms  which  gradually 
develop  until  their  significance  becomes  manifest 
by  his  indulgence  at  table.  He  poses  as  a  cynic, 
but  allows  to  be  seen  thv  sentimentalist  fighting 


4G  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

grimly  up  the  heights  upon  the  inept  staff  of  the 
materialist.] 

BTJLLARD.   Good  evening,  Senator. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Good  evening,  Mr.  Bullard.  We  were 
just  speaking  of 

BULLARD.     —The  devil !— Your  humble  servant? 

MRS.  MORSE.  [Disconcerted,  but  trying  to  set  matter* 
right.]  It  was  very  nice  of  you  to  come.  Now  we  can  dis 
cuss  public  questions. 

BULLARD.  It  was  very  nice  of  you  to  ask  me  to  come. 
Russell,  my  boy !  How  are  you? 

RUSSELL.    Good  evening,  Mr.  Bullard. 

[RUSSELL  walks  to  the  sofa,  sits  doivn,  and  watche$ 
the  other  three,  who  are  standing.] 

BULLARD.  Public  questions,  Mrs.  Morse,  are  very  com 
mon  topics. 

MRS.  MORSE.    Why,  then,  is  it  difficult  to  treat  common 

topics  in  a  proper  way  ? 

BULLARD.  It  always  is.  That's  the  rarest  faculty.    Arid 

there  are  none  but  common  things! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  No  public  question  ever  gets  settled 
without  your  help,  eh,  Bullard? 

BULLARD.  No  public  question  ever  gets  settled,  Sen 
ator. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    Until  it  is  settled  right. 

BULLARD.  I  stand  pat  on  my  version.  The  two-party 
wHM&w  was  designed  for  that— by  the  politicians.  To  re 
move  the  classic  issues  would  be  to  kill  the  goose— the  pub 
lic  goose— which  lays  the  golden  eggs. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    You  stand  pat  from  force  of  habit? 

BULLARD.  No,  respect  for  facts.  When  I  see  a  cold, 
hard  fact,  I  always  take  my  hat  off  to  it.  That  habit  hat 
saved  me  a  lot  of  trouble  in  my  day. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  And  made  you  a  lot  of  money. 

BULLARD.    For  me  and  my  clients. 

MRS.  MORSE.  Money  -sn't  everything,  Mr.  Bullard. 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  47 

BULLARD.  If  it  was  it  wouldn't  be  money ;  it  wouldn't 
get  you  anything.  Money,  money — Mrs.  Morse,  is  what 
gets  you  everything. 

MRS.  MORSE.  Not  everything,  Mr.  Bullard.  Men  may 
be  upright  without  money. 

BULLARD.  [Assuming  the  ingratiating  manner  of  his 
class  and  making  a  show  of  "talking  from  the  inside"  and 
of  being  above  concealment  with  his  hearers.]  I  haven't 
heard  that  lately.  The  average  man  would  rather  be  in 
right  than  upright.  It's  hard  to  be  both  at  the  same  time. 
Now,  I  attended  the  First  Panel  of  the  Sheriff's  Jury  at 
four  o'clock  today.  Not  one  of  the  panel  but  is  a  millionaire 
and  every  one  of  them  bent  on  escaping  ordinary  jury  duty 
at  any  price.  The  Sheriff  gets  more  than  the  President  in 
fees  alone — and  all  the  job-holders  in  proportion.  Well, 
our  newest  multi-millionaire,  your  young  friend  Chance, 
was  welcomed  to  this  panel  by  Peter  Merwin  himself.  Mr. 
Merwin  slapped  the  boy  on  the  back  and  dubbed  him 
"Youthful"  and  the  jurors  cried  out,  "Both  members  of 
this  Club!" 

SENATOR  MORSE,  "ine  boy's  just  been  admitted  to  the 
Unity  Club,  too. 

BULLARD.  Excuse  me,  Senator — we  are  both  members 
— but  I'd  as  soon  belong  to  the  Grand  Central  Station ! 

MRS.  MORSE.  Mr.  Merwin  said  a  fine  thing  the  other 
day — he  would  rather  loan  money  on  a  man's  character 
than  on  government  bonds. 

BULLARD.  Mr.  Merwin — believe  me — never  had  the 
choice.  He  deals  exclusively  with  the  fellows  that  have 
the  securities.  By  the  way,  he  has  induced  "Sir  Youthful" 
to  take  hold  of  the  financial  end  of  this  so-called  reform 
campaign. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  It  is  the  new  Educational  Foundation 
against 

BULLARD.  — Against  the  ancient  literary  foundation 
known  as  the  Tammany  Society. 


48  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Well,  Youthful's  father  left  several 
millions  in  securities,  that  Merwin 

BULLARD.  Handed  to  him — and  wouldn't  lend  a  dol 
lar  on.  The  greatest  bait  this  goldfish  in  his  blinding  bowl 
ever  nibbled  at  was  a  secret  process  for  making  gold  from 
sea-water.  How  characteristic!  How  many  of  the  tribe 
wish  to  do  that  in  one  way  or  another! — to  owr  the  sea 
and  through  it  have  no  less  than  everything  for  their  own. 
[Grinning.]  If  the  wastrel  had  lived,  we'd  have  had — the 
whole  fortune  in  that  paper.  Merwin  has  bales  of  it — still 
undigested.  Unfortunately,  Chance  never  cared  to  run  for 
office.  He  was  one  sucker  that  never  bit.  But  he  did  love 
paper!  There  are  too  few  like  him !  Introduce  a  bill,  Sen 
ator,  requiring  securities  that  a  donkey  can  eat.  Stock 
should  be  fed  as  well  as  watered. 

MRS.  MORSE.  The  name  Chance  is  on  the  list  of  victims 
in  every  society  broker's  failure. 

BULLARD.  They're  all  outposts  for  Merwin.  The  Street 
is  his  camp.  Chance,  that  is,  fortune,  is  their  Creator! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Mer win's  wards  are  widows  and 
orphans!  He  is  a  patron  of  religion. 

MRS.  MORSE.  And  Mr.  Merwin  has  done  a  lot  for  the 
country. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  And  the  country  has  done  a  lot  for 
Mr.  Merwin. 

BULLARD.  And  Mr.  Merwin  has  done  the  country  for 
a  lot — but  he  gives  it — a  salve  for  the  conscience.  It'll  be 
all  right. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  You  know,  Bullard,  that  Merwin 
proposed  to  Mrs.  Morse  at  the  time  I  did.  She  accepted  me 
because  he  was  rich  and  everything  he  has  done  in  spite  of 
his  money  has  been  brought  to  my  notice  as  a  sort  of  re 
minder  that  she  may  have  made  a  mistake. 

BULLARD.     [Sadly.']    A  rare  tribute  to  you  both! 

MRS.  MORSE.  He  [Looking  toward  the  bow  window] 
has  done  much  for  fine  arts  in  America 

BULLARD.  Mine  is  the  real  fine  art  of  America.    [Makes 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  49 

siya  of  handling  money.}  Mr.  Merwin  is  its  chief  patron. 
He  holds  art  as  he  holds  stocks — for  the  market. 

MRS.  MORSE.  He  puts  them  in  public  museums. 

BULLARD.  Yes.  The  public  houses  them,  exempts  them 

from  taxation,  and  advertises  them — and [During 

this  conversation,  RUSSELL  has  been  looking  on,  lost  in 
thought.  Toward  the  end  he  forgets  himself,  rises,  puts 
hie  right  fist  to  his  mouth,  the  thumbnail  touching  the  lips, 
the  index  finger  along  the  upper  lip,  comes  up  to  the  group, 
but  stares  into  space,  as  if  alone.]  — and — knocks  them 
down — [diminuendo]  at  a  rich  profit..  [BULLARD  ends  his 
sentence  almost  inaudibly  as  he  suddenly  notices  RUSSELL, 
is  disconcerted,  arrests  his  speech,  and  turns  to  RUSSELL 
and  speaks  to  him  as  if  brought  suddenly  to  knowledge  of 
his  state  of  mind.]  Why  so  quiet,  Russell? 

[RUSSELL  is  aroused  with  a  start,  turns  for  a  refuge 
in  his  confusion,  notices  ALICE  and  MARY,,  who 
have  entered,  and  speaks,  as  if  to  all,  as  MARY  and 
ALICE  enter.] 

RUSSELL.    Here  are  the  girls. 

BULLARD.    Charming ! 

MRS.  MORSE.  Meet  Miss  Flint  and  my  daughter,  Mr. 
Bullard. 

BULLARD.   [Appears  fascinated  by  MARY.]   Charmed! 

ALICE.    How  do  you  do? 

MARY.   [Resenting  an  engaging  look.]   How  do  you  do? 

[MARY  drops  her  handkerchief,  with  malice,  to  make 
BULLARD  bend.  BULLARD  picks  it  up  and  in  handing  it 
to  MARY  sniffs  apprcciatevly  at  the  perfume.  MARY 
reaches  for  the  handkerchief  and,  to  affront  BULLARD,  half 
catches  at  it.] 

MRS.  MORSE.  Miss  Flint  is  the  daughter  of  the  Senator's 
oldest  friend. 

[BULLARD  shows  that  he  lias  felt  repulsed  by  MARY 
and  attempts  to  retreat  in  graciousness  to  MRS. 
MORSE.] 


30  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

BULLARD.  I  congratulate  her;  that  makes  you  her 
friend.  In  this  soulless  metropolis — the  undertow — on 

this — seashore — is 

MRS.  MORSE.  We  are  the  ones  to  be  congratulated. 
She  is  as  accomplished  as  she  is  beautiful.  We  hope  to 
hear  her  at  the  Opera  some  day. 

[BULLARD  attempts  to  cover  his  retreat  in  patroniz 
ing  graciousness  to  MARY.] 

BULLARD.    Wonderful ! 

[BULLARD  studies  MARY'*  features  closely,  measures 
her  from  tip  to  toe  in  a  guarded  way,  and  checks 
an  exclamation  which  would  denote  a  discovery.} 
MARY.     [Coldly.}     Nonsense! 

[BULLARD  shows  that  he  feels  that  his  mask  has  been 
penetrated.  He  assumes  the  attitude  of  challenge 
and  defiance.] 

BULLARD.  Don't  be  too  sure.  It'll  be  all  right.  [To 
himself,  musing,  setting  his  right  hand  on  his  chin — and  to 
RUSSELL.]  Where? — The  telephone  I — The  voice!  [BUL 
LARD  takes  RUSSELL  aside  to  right.  MRS.  MORSE  and  SEN 
ATOR  MORSE  direct  and  attempt  to  keep  MARY  and  ALICE 
away  from  RUSSELL  and  BULLARD.]  Charmer!  So,  that's 
the  girl? 

RUSSELL.     What  do  you  mean? 

BULLARD.  So  that's  why  you  have  been  so  distracted 
and  haven't  been  able  to  get  down  to  business? 

RUSSELL.     Do  you  mean  to 

BULLARD.  Oh,  I  am  blessed  with  good  eyesight.  It's 
as  plain  as Don't  1  know  the  signs?  A  child— 

RUSSELL.     That's  no  excuse  for  seeing  things. 

BULLARD.  It  doesn't  take  a  physician — any  knowing 
woman  could  see 

[VICTOR  and  MRS.  HAVORBEE  enter.  The  first  person 
VICTOR  greets  is  MARY,  shaking  her  hand  with 
marked  cordiality  and  covert  admiration.] 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  51 

BULLARD.  [Noting  the  attitude  of  VICTOR.]  Good 
God!  My  boy!  [With  conscious  ambiguity.]  Is  Chance 
wedging  into  this  match,  too ! 

RUSSELL.  [Showing  that,  in  his  preoccupation  with  the 
ordeal  before  him,  he  has  not  understood  BULLARD'S  insin 
uation.]  Mr.  Billiard,  I  am  obliged  to  tell  you 

[ BULLARD  raises  a  warning  hand  to  arrest  the 
speech  of  RUSSELL  and  to  call  his  attention  to  the 
entrance  of  VICTOR  and  MRS.  HAVORBEE.  The 
speech  and  manner  of  VICTOR  and  MRS.  HAVORBEE 
disclose  the  superb  detachment  of  ultra-smart 
Manhattanites.  VICTOR  does  not  deign  to  conceal, 
even  in  attempted  dalliance  with  MARY,  his  atti 
tude  toward  ALICE  of  a  suitor  confident  of  his 
merits  and  assured  of  success.  MARY,  on  the 
other  hand,  shows  that  she  is  embarrassed  by  the 
double  necessity  of  appearing,  on  the  one  hand, 
to  encourage  VICTOR  without  hurting  ALICE,  and 
otherwise  to  disarm  suspicion  of  the  nature  of  her 
interest  in  RUSSELL,  and,  on  the  other  hand,  to 
give  her  attention  to  the  talk  of  BULLARD  and 
RUSSELL,  so  as,  when  necessity  and  opportunity 
combine,  to  shoot  quick  glances  of  intelligence  and 
moral  support  to  RUSSELL.] 

VICTOR.  [To  MARY.]  How  charming  you  look! 
Blooming  as  a  rose  and  sweet — as  a — Madonna ! 

MARY.  [With  a  nervous  laugh.]  I  am  glad  you  think 
so! 

VICTOR.  [Unembarrassed,  to  ALICE.]  It  is  quite  true. 
Eh!  Isn't  it? 

ALICE.  [Offering  her  hand  to  VICTOR.]  How  do  you 
do? 

VICTOR.    Oh !    Yes.    How  do  you  do !    Eh ! 

BULLARD.    [Nudging  RUSSELL  and  nodding.]    You  see! 

RUSSELL.     [Glowering  at  BULLARD.]     Well! 


52  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

[MRS.  MORSE  and  SENATOR  MORSE  take  in  the  situa 
tion  between  RUSSELL  and  BULLARD  and  take  MRS. 
HAVORBEE,  VICTOR,  ALICE,  and  MARY  in  charge.] 

MRS.  MORSE.  It  was  so  good  of  you  to  come,  Mrs. 
Havorbee. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  How  do  you  do,  Mrs.  Havorbee.  How 
do  you  do,  Victor. 

MRS.  MORSE.  Let  me  show  you  the  Americana  I  spoke 
to  you  about.  Are  you  young  people  coming? 

[VICTOR,  ALICE,  and  MARY  trail  slowly  after  MRS. 
MORSE,  SENATOR  MORSE  and  MRS.  HAVORBEE  ;  when 
they  have  reached  tlie  dining-room,  MARY  halts 
VICTOR  and  ALICE.] 

MARY.  [To  VICTOR  and  ALICE.]  Doesn't  the  table 
look  sweet! 

VICTOR.     [To  MARY.]    Doesn't  it? 

ALICE.  [Turning  to  MARY  and  her  back  to  VICTOR.] 
It's  a  question  of — appetite ! 

MRS.  MORSE.  [Observing  the  lagging.]  All  right,  if  you 
are  not  coming. 

[MRS.  MORSE,  SENATOR  MORSE,  and  MRS.  HAVORBEB 
go  out  at  the  right  of  the  banquet  room.  MARY, 
VICTOR,  and  ALICE  move  about  the  banquet  room 
examining  the  table  and  talking.  All  three  are 
fidgety,  for  distinct  reasons.  VICTOR  affects  a 
slouch  and  a  general  air  of  nonchalance.  From 
time  to  time,  he  draws  out  alternately  a  jeweled 
gold  cigarette  case  and  a  gold  lighter,  and,  in 
handling  them,  discloses  his  devotion  to  cigar 
rettes,  his  restiveness  at  not  being  able  to  smoke, 
and  a  general  demeanor  indicative  of  not  knowing 
what  to  do  with  himself.  ALICE  watches  him  with 
an  apparent  desire  to  take  him  in  hand,  and  with 
concern  at  MARY'S  lightness  and  nervousness. 
MARY  has  eyes  and  attention  for  ALICE,  for  Vic- 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  53 

TOR,  for  EUSSELL  and  BULLARD,  and  for  the  return 
of  the  OTHERS.  BULLARD  and  RUSSELL,,  each  for 
a  different  reason,  proceed  in  their  talk  as  if 
desirous  of  getting  something  said  before  the 
OTHERS  return.] 

BULLARD.  What's  the  matter,  my  boy?  I  haven't  hurt 
your  feelings,  have  I? 

RUSSELL.  We'll  leave  my  feelings  out  of  it.  I  wish  to 
discuss  business. 

BULLARD.  I  can't— I'm  too  fond  of  you.  Besides,  that 
isn't  business.  This  Pacific  matter  is  good  for  three  years. 
You'll  need  to  be  footloose.  This  bill  will  be  the  entering 
wedge.  After  we  carry  Congress  we'll  have  to  get  The 
Hague  Tribunal.  Certain  nations  must  be  prevented  by  its 
decree  from  denying  our  power  to  discriminate.  That  will 
require  big  money  and  rare  cleverness.  Once  the  power  is 
conceded  to  discriminate  in  tolls,  we'll  have  Congress  make 
them  so  high  our  rivals  can't  pay  them. 

RUSSELL.    An  international  hold-up.    That  means  war. 

BULLARD.  Only  with  England.  Land  power  against 
the  sea. 

RUSSELL.  And  Japan  and  China.  The  Japs  are  ripe  for 
a  fight  for  space  to  multiply. 

BULLARD.  It's  war  or  The  Hague.  The  continent  of 
Europe's  with  us  in  either  event.  And  if  we  decide  we  need 
Mexico,  it  is  war — war  with  Japan,  anyway. 

RUSSELL.    But  the  people 

BULLARD.  Our  people  will  rise  to  the  bait.  The  yellow 
newspapers  will  declare  war  and  they'll  be  doing  my  work 
as  usual.  Every  American  who  is  dissatified  with  his  op 
portunities  is  spoiling  for  a  chance  in  Mexico.  We'll  bring 
the  whole  thing  on  at  once.  Editors  are  our  hired  men ! 

RUSSELL.    But  the  treaty — the  Hay-Pauncefote  Treaty ! 

BULLARD.  A  little  scrap  of  paper  can  just  start  the  blaze 
we  want.  That's  what  treaties  are  made  for.  You  never 
hear  of  them  except 


54  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

RUSSELL.  But  the  powers  of  Europe  are  balanced — 
France  and  Russia  are  with  England. 

BULLARD.  So  they  all  think.  Not  against  us.  That's 
the  idea.  Well  break  that  combination.  England  must  be 
dethroned  as  the  leader. 

RUSSELL.  We  can't  lead.  Our  entire  foreign  policy  is 
based  on  Britain's  control  of  the  sea. 

BULLARD.  That's  what  must  be  changed.  To  control 
commerce  we've  got  to  place  the  American  people  under  a 
new  leadership,  a  real  leadership. 

RUSSELL.  What  justification  can  there  be?  It  was 
England  that  gave  us  an  American  Canal — by  abrogating 
the  Clayton-Bulwer  Treaty — ours  to  build  as  and  where  we 
liked,  to  own,  control  and  govern,  on  the  sole  condition  of 
its  being  always  neutral  and  free  for  the  passage  of  the 
ships  of  all  nations  on  equal  terms,  except  that  if  we  get 
into  a  war  with  any  nation,  we  can  shut  its  ships  out  and 
take  care  of  ourselves.  What  justification ? 

BULLARD.  The  usual  one — high  financial  necessity. 
We've  got  to  control  the  railroads  from  coast  to  coast  to 
the  South  of  us  and  keep  Canada  out  of  the  Canal.  Our 
railroads  will  then  get  the  business  away  from  the  Canal, 
and  keep  the  power,  through  their  monopoly  of  coastwise 
ships,  to  charge  whatever  rates  they  please,  and  that'll  give 
us  control  of  the  sea  as  well — a  world  monopoly  at  last. 
Then  industries  come  in,  then  empire,  then — the  reward. 

[RUSSELL  appears  to  attempt  to  grasp  BULLARD'S 
idea.] 

RUSSELL.    But  American  registry  and  the  flag ! 

BULLARD.  Are  purely  and  simply  matters,  in  peace  and 
war,  of  insurance  and  taxation. 

RUSSELL.  But  your  own  bill  prohibits  railroads  from 
owning  ships. 

BULLARD.  My  boy,  you  are  too  innocent!  You  don't 
suppose  we  let  our  enemies  manage  the  opposition  to  us ! 
We  oppose  ourselves  and  nowadays  we  often  appear  in 


TEE  WASTREL  HOARD.  55 

frantic  opposition  to  what  we  really  want.  We  put  that 
life  preserver  for  water  competition  in  for  the  time  being 
to  conceal  our  real  purpose — to  get  the  power  to  discrim 
inate.  Once  we  have  that  we  have  everything.  Then  we'll 
monopolize  water  transportation,  too.  We'll  never  give  up 
this  fight.  We  have  underwritten  every  profitable  industry 
in  the  country 

RUSSELL.   Including  the  canning  industry ! 

BULLARD.    What  do  you  mean  ? 

RUSSELL.  Well,  you  can  the  press,  the  stage,  the  drama, 
the  publishers,  and  the  pulpit.  Even  the  liquor  interests 
restrict  the  press  and  control  the  modes.  That's  your 
very  policy. 

BULLARD.  Only  as  a  necessary  incident.  Otherwise  we 
care  nothing  for  them.  We've  killed  public  co-operation 
and  private  competition  deader  than  a  doornail. 

RUSSELL.  You  do  indeed  control  American  lives  from 
before  the  cradle  almost  to  beyond  the  grave. 

BULLARD.    Yes. 

RUSSELL.  Well,  you  have  made  death  so  easy,  you 
ought  to  make  burial  free.  It  is  a  police  function,  anyway. 

BULLARD.  As  a  doctor  I  saw  that  the  facts  of  mortality 
would,  if  known,  tell  the  whole  story  of  social  crime.  The 
coroner  is  the  crown  of  the  political  arch.  If  you  sur 
render  when  the  undertaker  comes  in  you  might  as  well 
be  the  corpse.  We've  got  to  protect  what  we  have  and 
head  off  the  come-back ;  we  are  the  middleman  in  all  things 
and  the  ultimate  distributors  in  most,  but  transportation 
is  the  keystone  of  the  industrial  arch.  The  natural  geo 
graphical  advantage  and  our  monopoly  of  coastwise  trade 
don't  help  ns.  It's  the  political  power  to  discriminate  we 
want,  Next  we'll  extend  the  exemption  to  all  American 
ships  and  for  all  ports  in  the  world.  And  then  we'll  raise 
the  rates  for  the  ships  outside  the  combine.  Once  we  con 
trol  transportation,  we  control  commerce,  and  naval  and 
commercial  bases.  The  control  of  industry  is  the  next  step, 
and  then  the  last  man  and  the  last  dollar,  a  creat,  world 


56  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

empire.  Let  me  tell  you  something!  If  our  people  learn 
how  their  railroad  stock  and  bonds  are  created  and  held, 
they'll  riot.  We've  got  to  get  real  power  soon  or  never. 
Now  for  the  entering  wedge  and  then — and  then — [Exult 
ant] — it  will  keep  us  busy  until  we  retire  having  these 
high  tolls  maintained.  This  question  has  come  and  it  has 
come  to  stay ;  it  will  not  down  as  long  as  men  and  nations 
have  ambitions!  [KUSSELL  stands  lost  in  thought.}  You 
agree  to  forget  your  feelings  for  this  girl  and  I'll  make 
proper  reparation  for  her  and 

RUSSELL.  [Again  'becoming  attentive.}  What  do  you 
mean,  reparation?  [ RUSSELL  catches  sight  of  VICTOR, 
ALICE,  and  MARY,  and  receives  a  furtive  glance  from  MARY 
bespeaking  an  attack  upon  the  plan  agreed  upon.}  Well ! 

MARY.  [In  a  burst  of  forced  laughter.]  Why,  Victor! 
You  mustn't  say  such  things ! 

VICTOR.    Pardon  me.    Eh ! 

ALICE.     [Troubled.]     Not  again. 

[The  conversation  of  MARY,  VICTOR,  and  ALICH  con 
tinues  in  a  low  tone  and  RUSSELL  gives  his  un 
divided  attention  to  BULLARD  again.] 

BULLARD.  Well — [Noting  the  diversion  and  balking  at 
explicitness.} — I'll  double  your  retainer  right  now. 

RUSSELL.    That's  no  inducement. 

BULLARD.  Why  not? 

RUSSELL.    Double  nothing  is  nothing. 

BULLARD.    What  do  you  mean? 

RUSSELL.  I  haven't  any  retainer. 

BULLARD.  Why,  it's  ten  thousand  a  year.  That's  some 
thing  to  start  on.  Then  you  get  a  reminder,  then  a  refresh 
er,  then  a  sweetener,  then  a  sustainer,  and  then  your  fee. 
The  law  is  a  good  profession,  and  the  mysterious  paymas 
ter  makes  a  good  client. 

RUSSELL.    Retainer!     [Disparagingly.}    H'm! 

BULLARD.    Well,  it's  no  crime  to  pay  your  lawyer  or 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  57 

your  broker,  though  a  good  many  dishonest  people  seem 
to  think  it  is.    Those  who  do  pay  deserve  loyalty. 

RUSSELL.   Yes,  but  I've  stopped. 

BULLARD.  That's  right,  and  you're  starting  over  at 
twice  the  salary.  It'll  be  all  right. 

RUSSELL.  On  the  contrary.  I  am  giving  up  back  salary. 

BULLARD.  You'll  have  to  furnish  a  diagram  for  that 
joke. 

RUSSELL.  In  the  past  year  I  have  received  from  you  ten 
thousand  dollars  as  a  retainer  and  twelve  thousand  dol 
lars  in  fees.  I  haven't  used  a  penny  of  it.  I've  that  amount 
and  a  little  more  saved  up. 

BULLARD.  You  needn't  tell  me  that.  We  own  all  the 
banks,  and  we  know  every  transaction  of  ever}'  individual 
who  interests  us. 

RUSSELL.   And  that  knowledge  is  power. 

BULLARD.  Absolute  power.  Now,  you  interest  me  very 
much,  you  see. 

MARY.  [In  another  diplomatic  outburst.]  Rich  men 
always  fall  back  on  their  money  and  never  on  their  man 
hood. 

[BULLARD  pauses  a  moment  and  RUSSELL  gives  a 
moment  to  thought.] 

VICTOR.    [Patronizingly  to  MARY.]    Not  always  I 
ALICE.     [Disturbed.]     Too  often! 
VICTOR.     [In  a  loiver  tone,  to  ALICE  and  MARY.]     It's 
a  common  weakness. 

[BULLARD  fixes  a  challenging  gaze  upon  RUSSELL 
which  RUSSELL  returns.] 

RUSSELL.  The  spider's  web !  You'll  receive  a  certified 
check  tomorrow  for  what  you  have  paid  me.  You  say  that 
you  know  it  will  be  good. 

BULLARD.    You're  not  going  to  quit,  are  you? 

RUSSELL.    That's  it  exactly.    I  am  going  to  quit. 

BULLARD.  But  you  can't  do  that.  This  Pacific  Bill 
isn't  passed  yet  by  a  good  deal. 


58  TEE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

RUSSELL.  I'm  willing  to  pay  the  price.  I'm  giving  it 
all  back. 

BULLABD.    Not  all 

KUSSELL.  What  do  you  mean? 

BULLARD.  How  about  your  profits  in  underwritings  I 
put  you  in  on? 

RUSSELL.  I  took  the  risk.  Things  went  down  soon 
enough.  They  do  now.  Every  time  they  go  up,  those  clever 
Teutons  unload.  Everyone  suffers  from  that  risk. 

BULLARD.  Yes,  just  the  same  risk  as  my  friends  in 
Congress.  But  there  wasn't  any  risk  on  their  flyers.  We 
were  jockeying  the  dividends.  That's  why  I  put  them  in. 

RUSSELL.  I'm  glad  you  told  me.    I'll  give  that  back,  too. 

BULLARD.  It  isn't  so  simple  as  that.  We've  trusted  the 
whole  thing  to  you. 

RUSSELL.  Am  I  not  free?  Does  your  hold-up  include 
me? 

BULLARD.  You  can't  turn  around  on  people.  You  have 
our  secrets. 

RUSSELL.   Under  the  seal  of  professional  privilege. 

BULLARD.  Which  the  courts  no  longer  respect  in  mat 
ters  of  this  kind. 

RUSSELL.  Well,  you  have  my  word. 

BULLARD.    And  you've  slipped  a  moral  cog. 

RUSSELL.  No.  I've  just  caught  one.  Lawyers  should 
be  punished  for  their  part  in  their  clients'  villainy.  7 
might  have  been  disbarred. 

BULLARD.  Impossible.  You  are  a  member  of  the  Bar 
Association. 

RUSSELL.    But  I'm  becoming  honest,    I'll  resign. 

BULLARD.  No  man  trusts  a  reformed  lobbyist.  He's 
only  fit  for  an  expert  State's  witness. 

RUSSELL.  I'm  not  dealing  with  every  man.  I'm  dealing 
with  you.  Do  you  mean  to  say  you  don't  trust  me? 

BULLARD.  I  have  trusted  you.  Aren't  you  going  back 
on  me?  You're  a  lawyer.  You're  going  to  continue  to 


TEE  WASTREL  HOARD.  59 

practice.  You'll  be  retained  for  what  you  know,  facts  as 
well  as  law. 

RUSSELL.  You  needn't  fear.  The  door  is  closed  upon 
the  past.  Nobody'll  learn  anything  from  me.  It's  nothing 
to  be  proud  of  and  I'll  not  be  heard  boasting.  [RUSSELL 
turns  aside — looks  upwards  and  mutters  as  if  in  despair.] 
Stealing  from  humanity !  Not  a  hundred  years  ago  society 
would  hang  a  man  by  law  just  for  stealing  a  sheep  from 
another  man.  And  now  humanity  submits — and  society 
goes  on  producing  its  own  disease  and  crime.  Society 
protects  private  property  even  to  selective  imprisonment 
for  debt  but  never  selects  for  punishment  wholesale  theft 
of  public  property. 

BULLARD.  What's  that !  [RUSSELL  remains  silent,  BUL- 
LARD  bites  his  lips,  pauses,  then  proceeds.}  Many  a  lawyer 
would  like  to  be  able  to  say  to  prospective  clients  he  had 
served  our  interests.  A  man  seldom  knows  when  he's  well 
off — until  he's  worse  off ! 

[MRS.  MORSE,  SENATOR  MORSE,  and  MRS.  HAVORBEE 
come  into  the  banquet  room  from  the  right.] 

MRS.  HAVORBEE.     [Her  eyes  happen  to  rest  upon  VIC 
TOR,  ALICE,  and  MARY.  ]    Splendid !    And  very  interesting ! 
RUSSELL.    I  shall  have  only  one  client,  hereafter. 

[FLINT  enters.  MRS.  MORSE  and  SENATOR  MORSE 
hurry  to  take  possession  of  him.] 

FLINT.    [Effusively.]    Well.    How  do  you  do! 

MRS.  MORSE.    This  is  a  pleasure ! 

SENATOR  MORSE.    Come  in,  Sam,  and  meet  my  friends. 

[ALICE,  followed  by  VICTOR  and  MRS.  HAVORBEE, 
come  forward  to  greet  FLINT.  ALICE  kisses  FLINT 
on  the  cheek.  FLINT  beams  on  MRS.  HAVORBEE 
and  shakes  hands  with  VICTOR.] 

ALICE.  Well,  Uncle  Sam.  You  are  more  attractive  than 
ever 


60  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

FLINT.  [Turning  the  compliment  to  MRS.  HAVORBEE.] 
It  is  being  with  you  young  folks. 

ALICE.    This  is  MR.  CHANCE'S  aunt,  MRS.  HAVORBEB. 

FLINT.    I  shouldn't  have  believed  it. 

MRS.  HAVORBEE.    We'll  say  Victor  is  my  nephew. 

VICTOR.  As  a  woman  thinks!  [All  laugh  at  VICTOR'S 
wit,  move  backward,  under  MRS.  MORSE'S  steering,  and  drop 
into  more  subdued  conversation.  BULLARD,  who  has  dis 
creetly  paused,  resumes.] 

BULLARD.    Retained  already? 

[VICTOR  notes  that  MARY  has  remained  out  of  view 
of  FLINT,  in  the  banquet  room,  studying  alter 
nately  RUSSELL  and  the  seating  arrangement,  and 
goes  back  to  MARY.] 

RUSSELL.    Not  yet. 

BULLARD.  The  new  client  makes  up  what  you  pay 
back.  There's  an  agreement. 

RUSSELL.  None  whatever.  The  new  client  doesn't  know 
I'm  coming. 

BULLARD.  You're  taking  a  chance,  my  boy.  Who  is  it? 
Perhaps  I  can  tell  you  about  them.  It'll  be  all  right. 

RUSSELL.  You  don't  know  this  client.  You  wouldn't 
understand  them. 

BULLARD.   Who  is  it?    It'll  be— 

RUSSELL.  The  American  people. 

BULLARD.  A  United  States  attorney!  But  they  prac 
tice  privately! — And  to  great  advantage.  [ RUSSELL  holds 
his  retort  poised.]  But  we  have  the  right  men  in  those 
places  now.  We  don't  need  you  there. 

RUSSELL.  You  won't  have  me  there.  When  /  said  peo 
ple,  I  meant  it! 

[ALICE  rejoins  MARY  and  VICTOR  in  the  banquet 
room.  BULLARD  takes  note  and  nods  to  RUSSELL. 
MRS.  MORSE  and  SENATOR  MORSE  appear  very  much 
occupied  in  keeping  the  attention  of  MRS.  HAVOR 
BEE  and  FLINT  from  BULLARD  and  RUSSELL.  From 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  61 

time  to  time  FLINT  bursts  into  laughter,  evidently 
in  appreciation  of  his  own  sallies.  Shortly  after, 
as  if  in  echo,  MARY,  still  out  of  view  of  FLINT, 
burst  into  strategic  hollow  laughter.  The  atten 
tion  of  FLINT  is  each  time  arrested,  but  he  comes 
back  quickly  to  his  own  field  of  conquest.  At 
each  burst  of  laughter,  RUSSELL  gives  increasing 
signs  of  nerves  and  fear  of  causing  BULLARD  to 
raise  his  voice.] 

BULLARD.    Not  that! 
RUSSELL.  Yes.    Just  that! 

[RUSSELL  turns  away  from  BULLARD,  but  BULLARD 
follows  him  about,  keeping  up  a  running  fire  of 
conversation,  and  gradually  getting  his  attention.] 

BULLARD.  My  boy!  Are  you  crazy?  Come,  give  up 
this  affair.  I  know  it's  hard.  Be  a  Don  Quixote,  if  you 
like.  That's  not  fatal.  But  don't  wreck  your  life  on  the 
myth  of  service  to  society.  There's  no  such  thing  as  organ 
ized  society.  Can't  you  see  that  you  weren't  born  to  be  its 
victim  or  its  slave?  The  bottom  of  the  treadmill  is  no 
place  for  you.  You  didn't  select  poverty  for  your  birth 
right.  Society  allowed  it  to  be  wished  upon  you.  Now  is 
your  chance  to  come  into  your  own.  Don't  make  it  impossi 
ble  for  me  to  help  you.  Every  child  born  is  its  parents- 
hostage  to  so-called  society  for  their  good  behavior — [FLINT 
laughs] — but  what  hostage  does  society  give  them  or  you? 
What  insurance  is  there  for  paternity,  that  the  commonest 
crime  is  its  prevention?  [MARY  laughs.]  What  does  good 
behavior  get  anybody  nowadays?  There  are  only  individ 
uals  in  this  world  and  society  is  organized  against  them. 
There  never  was  an  individual  so  good  that  society 
wouldn't  turn  on  him  and  crucify  Mm  without  a  pang. 
Don't  be  ahead  of  your  time !  That's  treason !  Harvey's 
theory  of  the  circulation  of  the  blood  was  considered  so 
ridiculous  that  for  ten  years  not  a  single  patient  consulted 


62  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

him.  Not  the  circulation  of  money!  "Put  money  in  thy 
purse !"  Don't  waste  your  fine  scorn  of  the  idealist  upon  the 
one  thing  which  enables  a  man  today  to  cherish  his  ideals. 
Get  the  money  that  will  shelter  you  from  the  penalties  of 
being  without.  [FLINT  laughs.]  Society  imprisons  God's 
poor,  who,  with  or  without  fault,  or  for  just  cause  given  by 
society  itself,  get  on  the  wrong  side  of  the  law  and  find  all 
the  virtuous  forces  of  society  leagued  against  them— 
[MARY  laughs.] — in  what  should  be  clinics  with  specific 
wards  for  specific  complaints,  but  in  their  terrible 
reality  are  such  mephitic,  disease-and-degradation-spread- 
ing  Bastilles  that  those  that  know  them  would  rather 
be  dead  than  go  there — to  be  persecuted,  grafted  on, 
victimized,  and  starved  by  degrees — morally  and  phys 
ically — until  they  become  moral  lepers  and  parasites. 
[BULLARD  tugs  at  his  collar,  as  if  to  relieve  pressure.] 
And  even  the  innocent,  sent  to  these  places  and  buried 
alive  through  society's  mistake — without  questioning 
whether  their  deficiencies  be  not  evidence  of  their  guilt 
lessness — [FLINT  laughs.] — and  its  own  guilt — society 
has  neither  the  heart,  the  character,  nor  the  self-respect 
to  compensate  for  the  false  accusation  and  the  unjust 
punishment.  And  the  innocent  women  and  children  suffer 
eternally  from  the  moment  organized  society  knocks — 
[MARY  laughs.] — at  the  breadwinner's  door.  And  no 
body's  safe  from  the  knock  at  the  door.  The  surrender 
of  the  public  functions  of  lawyers,  including  those  of 
prosecuting  attorneys,  for  purposes  of  protection  and 
private  blackmail  and  coercion,  has  become  a  fixed  Amer 
ican  custom.  The  struggle  is  always  unequal.  [FLINT 
laughs.]  When  I  consider  what  kind  of  men  dare  to  judge 
other  men,  I  am  appalled,  and  I  shudder!  It  is  the  man 
in  power  who  determines  who  shall  go  and  for  how  long. 
Justice,  or  wrhat  goes  by  that  name,  is  openly  bought  and 
sold  in  the  United  States.  A  less  serious  cause,  the  sale 
of  indulgences,  brought  about  the  Reformation,  and  no 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  63 

greater  cause,  the  unjust  conviction  of  Jean  Galas,  was 
made,  by  Voltaire,  the  cause  of  the  French  Revolution. 

[MARY  laughs  and  turns  from  ALICE  to  VICTOR  and 
furtively  shoots  a  glance  at  RUSSELL.] 

MARY.  For  heaven's  sake,  say  something — Victor ! 

RUSSELL.  Well,  American  law  is  so  mixed  up  that  no 
body  really  knows  it  and  few  know  that.  The  two  big 
causes  for  the  breakdown  of  justice,  the  uneven  distribu 
tion  of  wealth  and  the  private  control  of  public  prop 
erty,  are  just  the  things  which  should  call  forth  courageous, 
constructive  jurists.  [  With  a  glance  at  VICTOR,,  ALICE,  and 
MARY.]  But  even  the  mob  admires  money.  It  is  tangible 
and  they  can  understand  it — but  brains — they  can't.  So 
what's  the  use !  States'  rights,  extra  courts,  no  nation,  but 
just  politics,  graft,  inefficiency,  chaos,  nothing,  America! 

BULLARD.  Correct.  And  organized  society,  as  at  pres 
ent  constituted,  commits  crimes  that  defy  the  imagination 
and  make  the  blood  run  cold,  with  its  dupes  worshipping  it 
all  the  while  as  holy.  [FLINT  laughs.]  Modern  society  is 
probably  the  weakest  and  the  cruelest  thing  in  existence. 
[MARY  laughs.]  If  civilized  society  were  a  body  that  could 
be  strung  up  by  the  neck,  it  wouldn't  survive  meeting  the 
first  pair  of  real  men  with  a  rope.  And  it  won't  be  better 
until  it's  stronger,  or  stronger  until  it  is  better.  Power  on 
its  present  foundations  is  weakness  itself.  Come,  now! 
I  understand  you  as  nobody  else  ever  can,  and  we  can  help 
one  another.  [MARY  laughs.]  You've  been  in  politics 
long  enough  to  know  that  no  man  in  public  office  owes  the 
public  anything.  I'll  give  you  time  to  get  over  this — give 
you  a  trip  to  Europe,  fees  and  expenses.  I  can't  get  on 
without  you.  I  can  get  the  grafters  myself.  I've  got  to 
have  you  to  get  the  honest  members,  accelerate  public 
opinion,  and  put  brains  in  the  heads  of  some  and  tongues 
in  the  mouths  of  others.  If  I  get  anybody  else,  he'll  think 
of  nothing  but  to  get  my  job  for  himself.  Besides,  you 


64  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

have  the  confidence  of  the  one  universally  honored  United 
States  Senator.  His  daughter 

MARY.  [Laughs.]  Preposterous,  Victor !  Money  always 
keeps  the  better  manhood  down ! 

RUSSELL.  [Showing  resentment  and  as  if  regretting 
the  attention  he  has  given  BULLARD.]  You've  said  enough ! 
This  conference  is  at  an  end. 

BULLARD.  Not  quite  yet.  Did  this  girl  tell  you  to  break 
with  me? 

[FLINT  catches  sight  of  MARY  and  starts  toivard  her. 
She  turns  her  back  and  FLINT  stops  and  watches 
her.  MRS.  MORSE  comes  to  the  rescue.] 

MRS.  MORSE.  John  has  some  new  bits  of  Americana. 
He  wishes  you  to  see  them. 

FLINT.  [Enthusiastically,  forgetting  that  he  has  a 
daughter.  His  speech  is  that  of  the  self-conscious,  precious 
Yankee.]  Of  course.  I  want  to  see  them.  [Mits.  MORSE 
and  FLINT  go  to  side  of  banquet  room,  followed  by  SENATOR 
MORSE  and  MRS.  HAVORBEE,  who  beckon  to  VICTOR,  ALICE, 
and  MARY.  BULLARD  notes  that  he  and  RUSSELL  are  to  be 
alone  and  speaks  with  increased  emphasis.  MARY  remains 
behind  the  OTHERS,,  out  of  vieiv,  and  listens.] 

RUSSELL.  This  matter  is  between  you  and  me;  we're 
both  guests  here. 

BULLARD.    Let  the  girl  go  abroad  to  study. 

RUSSELL.    I  refuse  to  discuss  the  matter  further. 

BULLARD.    You've  told  your  side  of  it. 

RUSSELL.   There  isn't  any  other. 

BULLARD.    How  about  Mrs.  Turner  and  the  girls? 

RUSSELL.  Why  are  you  so  interested  in  children?  You 
never  had  any  of  your  own. 

BULLARD.  The  difference  between  the  love  of  one's  own 
children  only  and  the  love  of  others'  children,  too,  is  the 
difference  between  the  past  and  the  future  of  the  human 
race.  /  have  tried  to  be  a  big  brother  to  you. 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  65 

[BULLARD  reaches  for  his  watch  chain  and  looks 
down  at  a  locket  thereon,  the  mate  to  the  one 
EUSSELL  gave  to  MARY.  He  notes  then  for  the 
first  time  that  the  locket  is  missing  from  RUS 
SELL'S  chain.] 

RUSSELL.  I  appreciate  that,  but  my  family  is  my  own 
affair. 

BULLARD.    Hard  times  are  coming. 

RUSSELL.  Don't  talk  hard  times  to  me.  It's  been  hard 
times  for  me  ever  since  I  was  born — and  for  most  other 
people,  too.  How  do  you  know  hard  times  are  coming?  If 
your  underwriters  keep  on  withdrawing  the  credit  of  small 
enterprises  and  keep  on  sending  gold  back  to  Europe  for 
military  establishments,  they'll  feel  hard  times  themselves, 
and  they'll  be  lucky  if  the  structure  they  erect  on  other 
people's  misfortunes  doesn't  tumble  upon  their  own  heads. 

BULLARD.  But  you  needn't  risk  the  welfare  of  your 
family.  Children  are  young  but  once. 

[The  chime  clock  in  the  library  is  heard  striking 
seven  times.] 

RUSSELL.  Yes — and  a  man  is  young  but  once.  The 
best  Time  lets  him  keep  is  his  good  name.  If  he  gives  his 
children  that 

[The  smaller  clock  strikes  seven  times.] 

BULLARD.  To  have  done  nothing  for  children  but  to 
bring  them  into  the  world  is  to  have  done  nothing  indeed ! 
To  a  man  the  privilege  of  guiding  his  children  is  the  breath 
of  life.  That  should  be  every  grown  man's  worry. 

RUSSELL.    I've  done  it. 

BULLARD.  But  the  instinct  quickens  and  grows  from 
the  first  doll  to  the  last  grandchild. 

[The  larger  clock,  in  a  room  above,  strikes  seven 

times.] 
RUSSELL.     I  know  my  duty. 


66  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

[The  orchestra  commences  to  play  "The  Serenade" 
by  Franz  Drdla,  the  violins  predominating  with 
muted  strings.  The  music  continues  until  after 
the  fall  of  the  curtain.} 


Allegretto 


t..  I  life      £  re  «     »     ^s-: 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  67 

BULLARD.  I'll  let  Mrs.  Turner  judge.  When  I  tell  her 
about  the  other — singing  girl ! 

EUSSELL.  If  any  man  brings  sorrow  into  the  life  of  the 
woman  who  has  been  my  wife,  by  God,  I'll  kill  him.  And 
now,  I'm  through. 

[The  very  loud  chime,  of  the  hall  clock  on  the  floor 
below,  is  heard  to  strike  seven  times.] 

BULLAED.  I've  urged  you  to  give  up  the  other  woman. 
Remember  that,  thanks  to  you,  I'm  on  the  inside  with  the 
Morses  now.  I  notice  you  are  not  wearing  your  locket ! 

[MRS.  MORSE,,  SENATOR  MORSE,  FLINT,  MRS.  HAVOR- 
BEE,  ALICE,  and  VICTOR  come  into  the  banquet 
room  and  MARY  keeps  ahead  of  them.] 

RUSSELL.  The  race  of  men  who  spy  upon  the  weakness 
of  their  neighbors  in  order  to  get  in  upon  them  and  to 
profit  by  their  knowledge  are  the  nearest  thing  to  rats  that 
God  allows  to  exist  in  human  form. 

BULLARD.  [Pats  RUSSELL  on  the  shoulder.]  You'll 
meet  many  human  rats,  my  boy,  as  you  get  older.  It'll  be 
all  right.  Come,  we're  attracting  attention.  We'll  talk  it 
over  tomorrow. 

RUSSELL.    It  will  be  as  I  say.    I'm  through. 

BULLARD.    All  right,  my  boy.    It  will  be  all  right. 

[BULLARD  joins  the  others.    MARY  joins  RUSSELL.] 

MARY.  I'm  proud  of  you.  It  was  wonderful.  You'll 
not  be  sorry. 

RUSSELL.  Not  if  you  are  pleased.  I  feel  stronger  al 
ready,  as  if  I  could  accomplish  anything. 

MARY.  So  you  can.  We  both  can.  But  we  must  start 
all  over  again.  You  start  your  campaign  here.  I'll  do 
Europe.  I'll  beat  Bullard  if  I  have  to  go  to  The  Hague  to 
do  it — and  if  they  hang  me  afterward ! 

[MARY  makes  a  strategic  retreat  from  RUSSELL.] 
FLINT.     [Ecstatically,  to  MRS.  MORSE.]     Some  of  these 


68  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

bits  are  priceless.  Mary  Dyer  [Dramatically],  the 'Quaker 
girl,  an  apostle  of  peace,  in  defiance  to  the  Puritan  nang- 
men !  Two  hundred  and  fifty  odd  years  ago !  That  Dutch 
print  is  wonderful.  [Turning  to  MARY  in  a  matter-of-fact 
ivay.]  Hello,  daughter,  I  am  glad  to  see  you  here. 

[RUSSELL  avoids  FLINT  and  joins  VICTOR,  ALICE,, 
SENATOR  MORSE,  and  BULLARD  in  the  banquet 
room.] 

MARY.    I  am  glad  to  be — here. 

[MRS.  MORSE  leaves  MARY  and  FLINT  together  and 
joins  the  others.] 

FLINT.  I  had  a  shock  today.  I  happened  to  learn  the 
address  of  little  Laura  Lord  and  I  called. 

MARY.   Well ? 

FLINT.  A  strange  coincidence!  I  hadn't  seen  her  for 
years — to  speak  to. 

MARY.  [Grimly.']  I  have  often  heard  you  speak  of 
her — a  paragon ! 

FLINT.  It  was  pitiable — her  condition — and  she  seemed 
miserable,  like  one  doomed. 

MARY.     I  am  sorry. 

FLINT.    You  must  go  to  see  her. 

MARY.    I  shall. 

FLINT.  She  lives  at  the  Lynnthorpe.  She's  tied,  it 
seems,  to  a  worthless  fellow — who  married  her — some 
years  ago — without  love,  just  to  keep  her  from  the  stage. 
He's  named — Turner — Russell  Turner. 

MARY.  [Steadying  herself  and  turning  away  as  if  to 
look  toward  the  banquet  room,  she  hesitates  a  moment,  then 
turns  toward  her  father  and,  seeming  ready  to  sink  to  the 
floor,  makes  an  effort  to  speak  to  FLINT  ;  her  eyes  are  half- 
closedy  and  her  voice  is  almost  inaudible.]  They  seem 
ready  to  sit  down. 

[As  the  guests  make  their  way  to  the  table  the  cur 
tain  falls.] 

CURTAIN. 


ACT.  II. 


ACT  II. 

The  scene  is  the  same  as  in  ACT  1,  except  that  the  outer 
line  of  the  stage  is  almost  parallel  with  the  outer  line 
of  the  doors  on  either  side  of  the  stage.  The  banquet 
room  is  thus  brought  into  the  foreground.  During  the 
time  that  has  elapsed,  the  principal  courses  of  the  din 
ner  have  been  passed.  The  orchestra  has  been  heard 
playing  behind  the  curtain. 

As  the  curtain  rises  slowly,  animated  conversation  appears 
to  be  in  progress  and  all  the  guests  are  seen  at  their 
places,  at  table;  SENATOR  MORSE  at  head,  facing  the 
audience;  MRS.  MORSE  at  foot;  on  either  side  of  SENATOR 
MORSE  are  FLINT  and  BULLARD;  at  MRS.  MORSELS  right 
sits  MARY  ;  at  left  sits  RUSSELL  ;  next  to  MARY,  at  right, 
sits  VICTOR  ;  next  to  KUSSELL,  at  left,  sits  MRS.  HAVOR- 
BEE;  next  to  VICTOR,  at  right,  sits  ALICE.  The  orchestra 
is  just  finishing  "The  Prologue"  from  I  Pagliacci.] 

MRS.  MORSE.  I'm  coming  to  see  yon  when  yon  play, 
Mary. 

ALICE.  Mary  says  she'll  never  play  unless  someone 
chloroforms  one  of  the  principals. 

MARY.  [With  a  forced  laugh.]  I  never  saw  such 
healthy  women. 

VICTOR.  A  likely  understudy  is  a  great  invigorator  to 
the  rest  of  the  company.  Eh ! 

MRS.  MORSE.  Mary  ought  to  have  a  part  where  she  can 
sing  a  song. 

[ BULLARD  suddenly  looks  at  MARY.  His  attention 
becomes  fixed  upon  the  locket.  He  looks  down  at 
the  one  he  carries  on  his  watch-chain  and  discloses 
that  he  has  discovered  that  they  match  and  that 
he  is  nettled.  VICTOR  attempts  to  give  an  imita 
tion  of  MARY  singing  the  grand  air  from  Tosca.] 

71 


72  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

VICTOR.  "Vissi  d'arte — vissi  d'amore!  I  never  did 
nothing  to  nobody !"  I  am  quite  a  singer  myself !  Eh ! 

BULLARD.     [To  VICTOR.]    We  will  keep  your  secret! 

VICTOR.     What  secret? 

BULLARD.     That  you  are  a  singer. 

VICTOR.     [  Curtly  ]      Oh !     Thanks ! 

BULLARD.     Is  there  any  other? 

VICTOR.     Not  that  /  know  of. 

[MARY  frowns  furtively  at  VICTOR.    BULLARD  turns 
to  FLINT.] 

BULLARD.     Your  daughter  is  on  the  stage,  Mr.  Flint? 

VICTOR.  It's  a  play  called  "Life."  There's  a  fatal  fas 
cination  about  playing  at  life.  Eh! 

MARY.     [With  a  diplomatic  chuckle.]     It  is  deadly! 

FLINT.  [Brooking  the  interruption  with  marked  resig 
nation.]  I  am  sorry  to  say  she  is.  [Nervous,  to  change 
the  subject.]  That  was  a  great  speech  of  yours,  Senator, 
on  the  Pacific  Canal  Bill.  We've  got  to  keep  our  treaties. 
The  world's  peace  rests  on  treaties.  We  can't  afford  to 
endanger  that.  Sovereignty  has  duties  as  well  as  rights. 

BULLARD.  [Giving  MARY  a  look  of  confident  chal 
lenge.]  Lucky  it  isn't  the  movies!  The  stage  must  be  in 
an  awful  pucker  when  that  form  of  entertainment  can  get 
a  footing! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  It's  a  serious  matter.  We  must  neu 
tralize  that  Canal  so  that  any  nation  that  fights  us  there 
must  fight  the  world. 

BULLARD.  Very  serious,  Senator,  when  you're  sched 
uled  to  hold  a  brief  before  The  Hague  Tribunal  against 
your  speech.  If  we  pass  our  bill,  you'll  surely  be  chosen. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Do  you  think  so?  I've  declared  my 
self  against  the  Bill. 

BULLARD.  You've  advised  and  defended  many  a  man 
you  wouldn't  admit  you  believed  in. 

SENATOR  MORSE.     But  that's  as  a  lawyer. 

BULLARD.  It  lent  your  prestige.  That's  why  you  were 
retained. 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  73 

SENATOR  MORSE.  A  lawyer  can't  choose  his  clients — 
and  live.  Besides,  the  questions  are  not  quite  the  same. 
One  question  is  that  of  power  and  expediency.  At  The 
Hague  we  argue  technical  questions  of  law. 

BULLARD.  "Consistency  is  the  mark  of  greatness,"  Sen 
ator. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  And  "the  bugbear  of  small  minds," 
Bullard. 

FLINT.    That's  one  on  you,  Bullard. 

BULLARD.    It  looks  that  way. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    No  offense  intended. 

BULLARD.  None  taken,  I  assure  you.  Give  them  some 
of  that  sauce  at  The  Hague.  It'll  be  all  right. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  It's  a  far  cry  to  The  Hague.  You 
haven't  passed  your  bill  yet. 

BULLARD.  But  we  will,  this  session  or  next.  The  ques 
tion  is  one  of  those  that  will  keep  nations  in  conflict  until 
it  unites  them  forever  in  peace.  We'll  soon  be  at  The 
Hague. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  If  you  ever  do,  you'll  have  to  be  there 
to  feed  me  the  argument  on  your  side. 

BULLARD.     All  nature  is  an  appetite  of  some  sort ! 

MRS.  HAVORBEE.  Why  are  you  not  drinking  your  wine, 
Mr.  Flint.  It  is  good. 

FLINT.  My  dear  lady,  I  am  a  manufacturer ;  I  now  em 
ploy  more  than  five  thousand  men ;  and  almost  every  night 
for  thirty  years,  one  or  more  women  with  one  child  in  arms 
and  another,  perhaps,  tugging  at  the  skirt,  rang  my  door 
bell  to  ask  me  to  reinstate  a  husband  who  had  lost  Ma 
place  through  drink.  [Looking  at  MARY.]  I  shall  hold 
that  an  evil  day  when  I  or  mine  take  the  first  glass  of  wine. 

MRS.  HAVORBEE.  Dear  me,  you  are  serious. 

FLINT.  Sufficiently  so  even  to  recommend  my  serious 
ness  to  you.  As  a  public-spirited  woman,  I  should  think 
you  might  consider  giving  an  example — [Looking  at  VIC 
TOR,  who  is  toying  with  a  glass] — of  total  abstinence. 

MRS.  HAVORBEE.    Oh,  dear  me,  no — I  couldn't  think  of 


T4  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

it.  I  have  neither — [Looking  at  FLINT] — husband,  nor — 
[Looking  at  MARY] — chick  nor  child.  Oh,  no.  I  couldn't 
give  up  my  cocktail ! — Not  at  my  time  of  life ! 

MRS.  MORSE.  You  are,  indeed,  unfortunate.  No  mother- 
woman,  who  has  prepared  a  child  for  the  world  and  desires 
to  prepare  the  world  for  her  child,  would  feed  it  habits  or 
countenance  women  drinking  or  smoking  cigarettes. 

BULLARD.  It  is  regrettable,  Mr.  Flint,  you  hadn't — 
[Looking  at  MARY] — a  son  to  turn  your  work  over  to. 

FLINT.  If  I  had,  I  probably  shouldn't.  It  seems  to  be 
less  than  one  generation  from  shirtsleeves  to  the  wrist- 
watch.  I  have  seen  few  sons  qualifying  for  big  jobs. 

MRS.  MORSE.  [She  has  suspended  her  interruption  dur 
ing  that  of  BULLARD.]  No  mother  could  say  thaty  Mrs. 
Havorbee.  It  is  just  as  I  always  say.  Better  have  a  Court 
of  Mothers  at  The  Hague — that'll  at  least  assure  peace. 

BULLARD.    You  must  be  there. 

MRS.  MORSE.  There  ought  to  be  an  American  woman 
there  to  look  after  you.  Russell,  you  should  go.  [BULLARD 
squirms.]  You  have  a  friend  there. 

[MARY  looks  up  as  if  in  inquiry.] 
KUSSELL.     [Furtively.]    He  is  a  very  good  friend. 

[MARY  appears  satisfied.  BULLARD  hastens  to  change 

the  subject.] 

BULLARD.  By  the  way,  Senator,  you  were  not  at  the 
Opera  Directors'  meeting  today. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  I've  been  rather  neglectful  lately.  The 
Peace  Society  met.  You  discussed  opera  in  English.  I'm 
sorry  I  wasn't  present. 

VICTOR.  A  very  stormy  meeting — the  Krupp  gunman's 
Brtinnhilde  against  the  made  in  America  maid. 

[MARY  feigns  appreciative  laughter  which  rings  hol 
low.] 

BULLARD.  What  do  you  think,  Senator,  of  the  plan  to 
send  a  promising  American  singer  abroad  to  study? 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  75 

SENATOR  MORSE.    Splendid! 

BULLARD.  Would  you  make  the  choice  and  take  charge 
of  the  administration  of  the  fund? 

SENATOR  MORSE.    I  should  be  delighted. 

BULLARD.  Well,  Mr.  Merwin  is  ready  to  put  fifty  thou 
sand  dollars  into  your  hands  tomorrow.  Robert  Thorburn 
is  his  attorney  in  these  matters.  It'll  be  all  right. 

SENATOR  MORSE.     Til  be  glad  to  co-operate  with  him. 

MRS.  MORSE.  I'll  still  continue  to  stand  up  for  Mr. 
Merwin. 

BULLARD.  Well,  Merwin  doesn't  care  who  sings  the 
songs  of  a  country  so  long  as  he  can  underwrite  its  bond 
issues 

VICTOR.    Merwin's  scale  has  only  one  note,  then ! 

BULLARD.    What's  that? 

VICTOR.    Dough !    Eh ! 

MARY.    [Patronizingly.  ]    Clever ! 

BULLARD.    That's  good ! 

ALICE.  With  the  music  of  life  a  monotone ! 

VICTOR.    That  makes  it  real  harm  money !    Eh ! 

MRS.  HAVORBEE.   Victor.    Do  be  serious! 

MARY.    He  is ! 

VICTOR.  [Turning  to  MARY  with  a  conquering  smile.] 
Thank  you.  [Noting  that  attention  continues ,  VICTOR 
makes  another  start.]  The  Suffragettes  have  reached 
Washington  at  last, 

MRS.  HAVORBEE.    They  are  brave  women. 

MRS.  MORSE.    In  what  way? 

MRS.  HAVORBEE.    Because  they  do  not  fear  prejudice. 

VICTOR.    The  English  women  don't  fear  anything.    Eh ! 

MRS.  MORSE.    They  don't  fear  even  God ! 

VICTOR.  They  certainly  put  the  rage  in  suffrage. 

MRS.  HAVORBEE.  Our  women  are  wiser;  they  use  smiles 
[Giving  a  sample]  instead  of  brickbats.  We  are  the  rage! 

VICTOR.  What  has  that  got  you ! 

MRS.  HAVORBEE.  Politically,  not  much!  Until  the 
men's  parties  recognize  us  we  shall  have  to  work  as  best 


76  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

we  can  through  our  own  weak  women's  organization.  But 
equal  suffrage  is  not  a  sex  right.  It  is  a  human  right.  It 
is  the  right  of  self-government.  The  women's  party  would 
benefit  all  political  parties.  It  would  drive  out  all  politi 
cians  who  would  restrict  the  common  rights. 

VICTOR.  Say,  Alice,  to  what  party  does  your  father  be 
long?  Eh! 

BULLARD.  That's  doubtful.  It's  hard  to  tell  where 
anybody  belongs — eh,  Senator? 

ALICE.     Mother  hasn't  any  doubt  at  all. 

BULLARD.  How's  that?  All  parties  look  alike  to  me. 
They  all  want  to  regulate  business  out  of  existence.  It'll 
be  all  right. 

ALICE.    Ma  says  she's  the  party. 

FLINT.    Good ! 

ALICE.    Thank  you,  Uncle  Sam. 

VICTOR.    Is  that  joke  on  you  or  me,  Mr.  Bullard?    Eh! 

BULLARD.    Both,  I  guess. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    And  on  me,  too ;  but  it's  no  joke. 

VICTOR.    Here's  one  for  you,  Mary.    Eh ! 

ALICE.     [Nervously.]    Well? 

VICTOR.  Why  is  the  machine  politician  really  for  equal 
suffrage?  Eh! 

MRS.  HAVORBEE.    He  isn't. 

VICTOR.    Yes,  he  is.    Even  in  Mexico.    Eh ! 

ALICE.    Go  ahead.    We'll  let  you  tell  us. 

VICTOR.  Well,  in  Mexico,  the  women  aren't  permitted 
to  vote  and  the  men  don't  dare.  That's  practical  equality. 

FLINT.  There's  many  a  Mexico  right  here  in  the  United 
States.  German  Liquor  Interests  hold  a  veto  on  all  Amer 
ican  votes — of  private  citizens,  candidates,  and  officials. 

MRS.  MORSE.  Women  may  do  much  useful,  practical 
work  in  politics  without  the  vote. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  And  we'd  be  better  off  with  less  vot 
ing  and  more  public  service.  Every  public  business  should 
be  run  by  the  government.  There  should  be  no  esprit  de 
corps  in  this  country  less  broad  than  patriotism ! 


TEE  WASTREL  HOARD.  11 

BULLARD.  You  are  planning  a  government  for  work, 
Senator.  You  can't  do  that  with  the  present  school  of  poli 
ticians.  These  Jaeks-in-Office  only  know  how  to  chew  the 
rag,  graft,  take  orders,  and  traffic  in  public  jobs  at  three 
times  the  value  of  the  service — and — in  the  votes  of  the 
mob.  It's  bad  enough  outside  with  the  labor  unions,  but  in 
public  jobs,  if  they  were  paid  by  piece  work,  they  wouldn't 
earn  their  salt.  We  are  paying  now  to  thousands  of  re 
tired  bartenders  more  than  to  generals  and  college  presi 
dents.  The  civil  service  is,  to  say  the  least  against  it,  a 
nest  of  privileged  incapacity  and  inexperience.  Admit  all 
this — they  are  really  paid,  not  for  work,  but  for  the  place 
they  take  in  the  organization. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  That's  the  beauty  of  my  plan.  It  will 
make  unnecessary  this  organization.  It  will  breed  a  new 
school.  That  is  the  deeper  fact.  The  disintegration  of 
proprietary  political  parties  must  proceed  in  exact  pro 
portion  to  the  growth  of  the  civil  service.  In  a  settled  civil 
service,  the  public  could  get  ten  times  the  result  and  give 
honest,  steady  jobs,  that  families  are  brought  up  on,  to 
five  times  the  number  of  men  for  the  present  outlay.  Each 
would  become,  thus,  a  soldier  for  the  public  good,  and,  as  a 
pledge  of  devotion  to  the  nation  that  keeps  him  and  his  in 
peace,  would  assume  an  obligation  to  fight  for  that  peace, 
both  in  preventing  and  ending  war.  It's  the  present  way 
of  running  the  government  that  makes  politics  just  a  waste 
ful  business  war  to  keep  the  politicians  alive.  Eliminate 
the  saloon,  Bullard,  as  the  cornerstone  of  politics,  and 
divide  up  the  fifty  per  cent,  tribute  by  officeholders,  be 
tween  them  and  the  government.  It  is  alcohol  that  has  de 
teriorated  men  and  government  and  private  and  public 
business  for  centuries.  It  menaces  the  very  nation. 

BULLARD.  Government's  chief  work  now  is  minding 
somebody  else's  business. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  And  somebody  else  is  interested  to 
control  the  government.  Your  friends  make  allies  of  the 
practical  politicians.  They  can't  be  good  Americans. 


78  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

BULLARD.  We  own  the  soft  impeachment.  When  there's 
one  gun  between  two  duellists,  it's  suicide  to  let  the  other 
fellow  get  it.  This  is  the  age  of  "steal." 

SENATOR  MORSE.    That's  a  hint  for  the  public. 

BULLARD.  Wre  despise  them  as  grafters,  yet,  I  suppose, 
the  alliance  seems  natural.  You  remember  Ingomar,  Sen 
ator— "Two  souls " 

FLINT.  [Cutting  in  on  BULLARD'S  speech,  backing  his 
chair  off  for  action,  and  commanding  BULLARD'S  silence  and 
the  attention  of  the  rest.]  Yes,  yes,  Mr.  Bullard,  I  saw 
Ingomar.  "Two  souls  with  but  a  single  thought — [FLINT 
becomes  dramatic,  looks  skyward,  puts  both  hands  to  his 
heart  and  raises  them  with  the  speech  in  the  direction  of 
his  gaze] — "Two  hearts  that  beat  as  one." 

MARY.  [With  cruel  dry  ness,  and  conscious  of  stealing 
her  fathers  political  "business,"  as  he  has  stolen  that  of  her 
profession.]  To  beat  the  American  people. 

[At  the  word  "American,"  MARY  unconsciously 
picks  up  the  small  flag  at  her  place  and  toys  with 
it  nervously  between  her  speeches.] 

BULLARD.  They  use  the  politicians  primarily  as  a  means 
of  getting  meddlers  to  let  their  activities  alone.  Those  who 
stir  up  discontent  are  enemies  of  the  people.  We  say,  in 

the  language  of  Burke :    "Applaud  us " 

[FLINT  interrupts  BULLARD  a*  before  and  completes 
the  quotation.] 

FLINT. 

"Applaud  us  when  we  run,  console  us  when  we  fall, 
Cheer  us  when  we  recover,  but  let  us  pass  on,  for 
God's  sake,  let  us  pass  on." 

BULLARD.  [Taking  the  interruption  good-naturedly.] 
That's  it.  What  the  rich  do  is  of  no  concern  of  the  public. 
Envy  of  another's  prosperity  is  the  world's  greatest  men 
ace.  Millionaires  are  but  the  froth  upon  the  beer  of  our 
political  system.  [Sardonically.]  Chance,  as  a  realty 
owner,  is  but  a  ground  swell  on  the  social  sea. 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  79 

VICTOR.  That's  my  point  of  view.  Large  fortunes  and 
big  business  are  inseparable  incidents  of  general  prosper 
ity.  The  average  poor  man  lives  happily  and  respectably. 
That  is  all  /  can  hope  to  do.  I  enjoy  the  luxuries  of  life 
but  /  am  willing  to  do  without  the  necessities.  /  sympa 
thize  with  the  poor,  but  the  trouble  is  their  poverty  is  so 
habitual,  you  simply  can't  help  them.  But,  then,  as  a 
matter  of  fact,  even  poverty  has  a  lot  of  advantages. 

MARY.    It  takes  a  mighty  rich  man  to  see  them. 

BULLARD.    The  world's  work  must  go  on. 

MARY.    And  leave  humanity  in  the  rut. 

VICTOR.    My  part  may  not  equal 

[ BULLARD  holds  up  his  hand  to  check  VICTOR.] 

BULLARD.  Stop!  Never  apologize  for  yourself — until 
you  have  accomplished  something — and  then — well,  you 
won't  need  to. 

ALICE.  It  seems  to  me  that  the  doings  of  the  rich  are 
matters  of  vital  public  concern.  The  burdens  of  inequality 
rest  very  lightly  upon  the  rich. 

VICTOR.  {Without  meaning,  looking  at  MRS.  HAVOR- 
BEE,  and  as  if  floored.  ]  And  upon  the  women  ?  Eh ! 

MARY.    Upon  some  women. 

ALICE.  Are  not  women  equal  to  men? 

VICTOR.    Some  of  them  are  equal  to  anything.   Eh ! 

MRS.  HAVORBEE.  Indeed  they  are — and  often  where 
men  are  not.  The  men  do  let  you  pass  on,  Mr.  Bullard. 
The  women  won't.  When  lovely  woman  stoops  to  follyt) 

BULLARD. \  The  women  don't  now.  But  they  have  their 
own  methods. 

MRS.  MORSE.    Their  influence  is  through  the  home. 

BULLARD.    Not  always.    Some  work  outside. 

MRS.  MORSE.  Indeed !  That's  unwomanly.  It's  a  men 
ace  to  society. 

BULLARD.  If  they  will  play  the  fiddle,  they  must  stand 
the  music.  Nature  must  have  its  course. 

VICTOR.    As  a  menace,  the  modern  girl-sport  is — more 


SO  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

deadly  than  the  male.  Eh:  [VICTOR,  embarrassed  by 
shocked  silence.]  Why,  every  hotel  in  !Xew  York  is  a  Hay- 
market  ! 

ALICK.  [Pointedly.]  If  they'd  only  confine  their  at 
tentions  to  one  another. 

MRS.  HAyoRBEK.  Let  the  Bowery  at  least  be  kept  out  of 
Fifth  Ayenue.  Let  them  arrest  the  men! 

FLINT.    Correct !    They  are  a  part  of  the  home ! 

MRS.  HAyoRBEE.  The  State  is  the  larger  home.  The 
home  isn't  the  four  walls  of  the  house. 

MRS.  MORSE.    In  one  way  that  is  true. 

MRS.  HAyoRBEE.  Is  woman's  sphere  the  home  when, 
outside,  man  has  surrounded  her  children  with  eyil  ? 

MRS.  MORSE.  Created,  for  the  most  part,  my  dear,  by 
women,  who  are  eyil  because  they  are  outside  the  home. 

BULLARD.    [Persisting.]    Or  in  other  people's  homes. 

MRS.  MORSE.  Perhaps  that's  better. 

MRS.  HAVORBEE.  I'll  tell  you  a  secret.  What  the  real 
suffrage  leaders — of  wealth  and  social  position — want  in 
careers  in  politics — like  their  men. 

[ BULLARD  directs  his  speech  at  MARY.] 

BULLARD.  When  a  woman  knows  her  own  mind  about 
what  concerns  herself,  it'll  be  time  to  turn  it  to  what  con 
cerns  others. 

MRS.  MORSE.    We  should  giye  the  home  a  yote. 

BULLARD.  But  in  every  case  where  husband  and  wife 
do  not  agree,  the  home  would  be  disfranchised.  Now  the 
man  casts  the  home  yote. 

MRS.  MORSE.  If  women  are  to  yote.  I'd  haye  only  moth- 
en  and  fathers  yote — and  that  in  proportion  to  their  con 
tribution  to  the  future,  Ben  Franklin's  mother  would  have 
had  seventeen  votes.  Heaven  forbid  that  the  childless  shall 
lead  us.  Parents  would  seldom  disagree.  The  world  talks 
much  about  brotherhood  and  just  now  it  is  sisterhood  that 
desires  to  be  heard,  but  both  come  only  through  fatherhood 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  81 

and  motherhood  and  that  is  the  key  to  all  common  in 
terests  in  household  and  .humanity. 

[BULLABD  continues  to  direct  his  words  at  MARY.] 

BULLAED.  That's  it.  Only  the  woman  whose  own  house 
is  in  order,  should  come  into  the  open  to  iiscuss  public 
morals.  A  man  may  be  produced  against  her ! 

[Mus.  MORSE  notes  BULLARD*S  attitude,  senses  a 
purpose,  and  watches  BULLARD  narrowly.] 

MARY.    Do  you  work  in  the  open?  v-j 

•*?-"' 

[MARY  clenches  the  flag  in  her  right  hand.] 

BULLARD.  [With  feigned  jocularity.]  Oh,  I'm  known 
to  be  harmless.  Nobody  fears,  for  instance,  I'd  steal  an 
other  man's  wife  or  come  between  friends. 

MARY.    Is  it  for  that  the  rest  must  be  forgiven  you? 

BULLARD.  To  one  who  would,  nothing  can  be  forgiven. 
Her  shame  is  of  the  light,  not  of  the  thing.  She'd  sell  her 
soul  to  save  her  name.  She  is  admired  but  craves  respect. 

MARY.  The  weak  woman  is  the  tell-tale  of  your  unfit- 
ness.  As  an  evil,  you  are  no  more  necessary  than  the  other. 
A  single  instance  at  your  own  door  is  an  earthquake.  Yet 
the  conditions  which  foster  all  vice  are  your  own  creation 
and  its  untold  profits  go  with  your  permission  to  the  po 
litical  machine;  your  friends  could  wipe  out  the  liquor 
traffic  and  all  that  goes  with  it  by  one  stroke  of  the  pen. 
In  that,  as  in  everything,  you  don't  ask  why  there  is 
poverty  and  vice;  need  is  the  one  motive  in  extenu 
ation  you  will  not  accept.  To  you  the  tragedy  is  but  an 
episode  while  every  true  woman  feels  it  might  well  be  her 
own  story!  Our  "best  people'  drive  the  poor  to  vice  and 
try  to  segregate  it  and  them — together.  Therein  and  in 
everything  the  great  social  crime  of  indifference  does  its 
work.  To  be  calm  is  little  better  than  to  scoff!  What 
woman  is  there  who  oughtn't  to  rise  against  this? 

BULLARD.    You  don't  ask  her  name? 

MARY.    Yes — and  name  a  man  worthy  to  protest 


82  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

BULLARD.  [Jocosely.]  The  law  of  slander  forgives 
everything  save  the  mention  of  names. 

[The  flag  in  MARY'S  hand  becomes  conspicuous  a$ 
she  gesticulates.] 

KUSSELL.   [Quietly,  to  urge  MARY  to  desist.]   Please! 

MRS.  MORSE.    Mary,  dear! 

FLINT.    Daughter ! 

MARY.  [During  this  speech  MARY  uses  the  flag  uncon 
sciously  in  her  gestures.}  No,  I  shall  not  be  silent!  I 
shall  make  my  voice  heard  in  behalf  of  those  who  have  been 
voiceless.  [MRS.  HAVORBEB  shows  interest,  rises,  and  com 
mences  to  clap  her  hands.]  When  amid  general  homeless- 
ness  and  helplessness  women  seek  their  selfish  rights,  they 
complete  the  tragedy  of  this  generation.  [MRS.  HAVORBEB 
sits  down  without  applauding  and  shows  a  lack  of  inter 
est,  but  MRS.  MORSE  gives  a  sign  of  approval.]  Trouble  is 
like  the  air,  not  to  be  confined.  When  any  suffer,  everybody 
pays.  Our  "poor  little  rich  boy"  [VICTOR  looks  at  her  ques- 
tioningly  and  all  eyes  are  turned  on  him}  hopes  to  live 
happily  and  respectably — as  the  average  poor  man  does. 
[VICTOR  looks  relieved  and  nods  approval.  FLINT  and  BUL 
LARD  rivet  their  eyes  on  MARY.]  The  average  poor  man  has 
a  home.  It  is  a  small  place,  but  there  are  those  who  love 
it,  and  that  is  what  makes  the  world  happy  and  respectable 
— despite  the  discouragement  to  decent  living  which  grind 
ing  poverty  in  the  midst  of  maddening  opulence  brings. 
[ KUSSELL  has  shown  anxiety  about  MARY'S  ability  to  carry 
it  off  up  to  this  point,  but  he  assumes  and  maintains  an 
attitude  of  growing  confidence  and  admiration.  VICTOR 
looks  nettled.]  "Sir  Youthful" — despite  his  condescension 
— never  had  a  home,  and  though  he  multiply  his  unused 
villas,  mansions,  and  palaces,  he  never  can  have  one  and 
can  never  know,  doomed  as  he  is  to  think  forever  about 
himself,  the  peace,  the  intimate  joys,  [VICTOR  appears  at 
first  interested  and  then  fascinated.  The  others  become 
respectful  and  attentive]  which,  despite  the  privations  and 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  83 

the  hunger  they  endure  to  keep  him  in  luxuries,  even  the 
starved  child-souls  of  the  poorest  family  in  his  thousand 
ill-kept  tenements  know. 

[VICTOR  visibly  weakens  in  his  dissent  and  sinks  into 
his  seat.  BULLARD  notes  the  change  in  VICTOR'S 
attitude.  SENATOR  and  MRS.  MORSE  exchange 
glances,  disclosing  concern  for  their  duties  as 
hosts.  BULLARD  shows  alarm  and  decides  to  haz 
ard  an  inquiry.] 

BULLARD.  Are  you  speaking  with  knowledge  of  par 
ticular  facts? 

[MARY  rises  to  her  feet  but  answers  without  looking 
at  BULLARD,  as  if  assuming  the  interruption  to  be 
captious;  her  attitude  toward  BULLARD  discloses 
a  trace  of  cunning.] 

MARY.  No  good  man  could  be  happy  with  so  much 
money  while  so  many  are  without  the  chance  of  such  a  life. 
[BULLARD  appears  relieved.  VICTOR  passes  his  hand  over 
his  eyes  as  if  to  dispel  a  distressing  thought.  ALICE  studies 
him  with  tense  eagerness.]  Each  million  of  his  estate  rep 
resents  one  thousand  children  cheated  of  their  birthright, 
the  foundation  torn  from  a  thousand  homes,  and  the  whole 
represents  one  young  man,  the  plaything  of  his  own  desires, 
and  of  the  schemes  of  financial  jackals,  robbed  of  the  com 
mon  birthright,  the  power  to  work  out  his  own  salvation. 
[VICTOR  staggers  as  a  prisoner  receiving  a  jury-s  verdict  of 
conviction.  ALICE  is  visibly  moved  by  his  pain,  but  pleased 
at  his  sensitiveness  to  the  criticism.  MARY  takes  in  this 
situation,  gives  a  sign  of  letting  up  on  VICTOR,  and  turns 
with  bitterness  to  BULLARD.]  That's  what  big  fortunes 
mean — the  birthright  of  the  people  sacrificed  to  the  alleged 
birthright  of  the  over-rich.  And  the  Bullard  Pacific  Bill 
is  what  they  mean  in  politics;  it  is  the  culmination  of  the 
conspiracy  against  the  average  home.  [BULLARD  rises. 
FLINT  turns  to  give  him  a  look  of  challenge.  BULLARD 
shrugs  his  shoulders  as  if  to  say,  "What's  the  use?"]  While 


84  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

millions  are  habitually  underfed,  there  are  thousands  who 
see  the  money  coming  in  so  fast  they  don't  know  what  banks 
or  bonds  to  put  it  in.  Vast  sums  of  money  give  men  power, 
not  only  over  things  but  over  people;  property  in  vast 
amounts  should  be  as  little  subject  to  inheritance  in  a  free 
country  as  political  power.  The  rich  now  make  the  poor 
pay  them  for  the  right  to  live  and  poor  men  are  not  ashamed 
to  do  it.  You  buy  each  at  his  price,  man  or  woman.  But 
children  can't  pay,  and  the  tax  on  their  right  to  live  is 
murder.  Women  who  can  be  indifferent  to  their  own  trag 
edies  but  not  to  this  are  what  the  future  of  America  de 
mands — not  those  who  can  tolerate  the  perpetual  multipli 
cation  of  money  without  effort  by  its  possessors  and  the 
almost  annihilation  of  individual  power  to  rise.  Let  you 
pass  on!  When  you  let  the  coming  generation  pass  on! 
When  you  give  back  what  has  been  taken !  Applaud  us  if 
we  run ;  console  us,  if  we  fall ;  cheer  us  if  we  recover,  and  let 
us  pass  on ;  for  God's  sake,  let  us  pass  on.  [MARY  weakens, 
turns  her  gaze  from  BULLARD  to  her  father,  and  talks  more 
slowly.  RUSSELL  pushes  his  chair  back  and  gets  ready  to 
move  toward  MARY.  She  frees  herself  from  her  chair  and 
backs  away  from  the  table,  as  if  retreating  from  a  dreaded 
object,  and  comes  perilously  near  the  edge  of  the  stairs. 
VICTOR  appears  sympathetic  and  apprehensive.]  I  demand 
it  in  the  name  of  a  race  that  is  being  preyed  upon  and  con 
sumed  in  the  bud,  of  every  woman  who  loves,  who  is  a  wife, 
who  is  a  mother — [MARY  gulps,  her  speech  becomes  thick; 
she  seems  to  have  lost  all  sense  of  her  surroundings] — and 
of  the  children,  and — [MARY  mumbles] — be  it  ever  so  hum 
ble — [As  if  in  despair] — infants — crying — they  were  born 
of  a  woman — just  as  Christ  was  born — [As  if  in  terror] — 
no  candle  was  there — and — [As  if  shivering] — no — fire — 
it  is  dark — [Weakly] — and  bitter  cold — they  are  human, 
too — and — [MARY  faints  and  falls  to  the  floor  at  the  edge 
of  the  stairs,  and,  before  those  nearest  can  prevent,  rolls  to 
the  bottom  of  the  staircase.] 

MRS.  MORSE.    Help  her,  John! 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  85 

[All  start  to  crowd  around  her.  VICTOR  raises  her 
and  with  RUSSELL  brings  her  down  stage  and 
places  her  on  the  sofa.  The  flag  is  seen  still  to  be 
clenched  in  MARY'S  right  hand.] 

VICTOR.  [As  if  the  situation  had  brought  the  young 
men  suddenly  into  intimacy.]  This  girl's  a  brick!  Isn't 
she,  Russell?  Eh!  A  regular  major-general!  Isn't  she? 
Eh! 

RUSSELL.    You  are  quite  right,  Victor — quite  right. 

MRS.  HAVORBEE.  [Bringing  an  untouched  glass  of 
cognac  from  the  table.]  A  little  drop  of  brandy  helps — a — 
fall. 

MRS.  MORSE.  Let  me  have  some  water.  Give  us  room. 
Tin  sorry,  but  you  would  better  go  into  the  library. 

[As  the  guests  go  out  by  door  at  back  of  banquet 
roomy  the  chimes  strike  once  and  the  distinctness 
of  the  sound  indicates  the  opening  and  closing  of 
the  door.  A  short  interval  afterward  the  smaller 
clock  strikes  twice.  Then  the  clock  above  is  heard 
to  strike  twice;  then  once  the  clock  beloiv.] 

SENATOR  MORSE.    Shall  we  call  Doctor  Childs? 

MRS.  MORSE.  It  isn't  necessary.  She  has  only  fainted. 
She'll  be  all  right  in  a  moment. 

MARY.  I  want  my  mother.  I  want  to  go  home  to  my 
mother. 

[MRS.  MORSE  speaks  to  the  musicians  and  they  go 
out  silently  at  the  right.] 

MRS.  MORSE.  She'll  be  all  right  now.  [She  goes  over  to 
SENATOR  MORSE.]  John,  I  believe  Bullard  brought  this  on 
deliberately.  The  girl  has  a  secret.  We  must  help  her 
keep  it — even  from  ourselves. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    You  are  one  woman  in  a  million. 

[RUSSELL  and  VICTOR  leave  MARY  as  FLINT  ap 
proaches.  BULLARD  engages  RUSSELL  in  conversa 
tion.! 


86  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

BULLARD.  Let  me  give  you  a  last  warning.  Be  careful 
of  other  people's  reputations  or  you  will  lose  yours — and 
perhaps  more.  Beware  of  the  black  list.  Merwin  never 
forgets.  Many  a  man  in  just  your  situation  has  been  found 
missing.  Good  God !  My  boy !  Can't  you  see  I  am  think 
ing  only  of  you? 

[RUSSELL  remains  silent  but  stares  after  BULLABD 
as  BULLARD  goes  out.] 

FLINT.  That's  right,  daughter.  We'll  go  together. 
Will  you  forgive  me? 

MARY.  There's  nothing  to  forgive.  You  were  right. 
But  I  can't  go  back.  7 — must — go  forward. 

[SENATOR  MORSE  goes  up  to  FLINT  and  puts  hi*  right 
hand  on  FLINT'S  shoulder.] 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Sam,  there  should  be  11^  place  like 
home  for  a  girl.  It's  our  fault  if  that  isn't  so. 

FLINT.  What  a  girl  I  have  brought  up !  And  I  never 
suspected  it !  She  has  actually  introduced  ine  to  myself  I 

SENATOR  MORSE.  The  coming  generation  must  always 
be  a  closed  book  to  us.  We  wonder  that  they  dance  because 
we  no  longer  hear  the  music  in  their  souls. 

FLINT.  And  I  wanted  to  imprison  my  girl  in  a,  small 
town.  She's  an  old  man's  child.  Our  children  inherit  all 
our  experience.  We  scarcely  notice  how  they  grow ! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  She's  done  what  I  told  you  to  do, 
Sam — come  to  New  York.  The  country's  growing,  too ! 

FLINT.    No  big  city  for  me.    I  prefer  to  live  in  America. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    We  are  cosmopolitan.    It's  within  us ! 

FLINT.  You  are  a  cluster  of  Ghettoes,  little  Italics, 
Sokols,  singing  societies,  and  turn  vereins. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Well,  for  the  girl's  sake.  It  is  hard 
for  a  girl  to  stay  alone  and  no  "pent-up  Utica"  will  ever 
confine  her  powers.  She's  a  typical  American  girl ! 

FLINT.  Or  America,  either.  Even  as  a  child,  she 
seemed  to  see  the  whole  wide  world!  Is  that  American? 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  87 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Let's  send  her  to  Europe.  By  Jove! 
The  Merwin  scholarship!  Now,  I  wonder  if  Bullard 

FLINT.  [As  if  rising  to  great  generosity.}  I'll  pay 
myself.  I've  a  good  will  to  do  it!  It  would  really  be  a 
good  investment! 

SENATOR  MORSE.     She  wouldn't  take  it. 

FLINT.  Tell  her  I  am  opposed  to  it.  That  will  decide 
her  all  right. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  I'll  go  further.  I'll  make  her  win  in 
competition. 

FLINT.  I'll  never  again  doubt  her  ability  to  do  any 
thing. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  That's  the  way  for  a  father  to  talk. 
You  should  have  started  that  years  ago. 

MRS.  MORSE.     We  must  leave  her  alone  for  a  while. 
[All  go  out  excepting  RUSSELL,  who  has  escaped  the 
observation  of  the  rest.     The  lights  are  dimmed. 
The  scene  is  the  same  as  at  the  rising  of  the  cur 
tain.] 

RUSSELL.    Are  you  all  right? 

MARY.  [Rising.  Her  manner  betrays  the  fact  that  her 
fainting  and  acting  were  not  purely  voluntary.  She  con 
tinues  to  make  tis  of  the  flag.]  I  didn't  faint.  I  was  act 
ing;  Bullard  threatened  us  and  I  was  afraid.  The  swoon 
was  a  checkmate  to  his  cruel  play  and — such  a  relief  to  me ! 
The  temptation  was  great.  There  was  father.  I  wanted  to 
let  him  know  my  views,  and  I  wanted  to  give  you  your  pro 
gram.  Now  you  know  that  I  can  act,  and  I  know  that  I 
must.  Think  of  it,  the  pretense,  the  deception,  the  simu 
lated  courage,  and  to  have  to  rise  above  it  all  and  conquer. 
I  will  pray  God  for  strength — to — deceive — and  I  shall 
work  with  all  my  being  to  grow  in  power  and  charm  and 
influence,  to  match  the  resources  of  Bullard's  friends  and 
to  undermine  him  in  the  end.  I  can  afford  to  sing  now.  I 
shall  be  acting  every  moment  of  my  life.  What  a  plot !  An 
unfortunate  girl  against  the  hold-up  of  the  human  race. 
T  seem  to  carry  the  whole  world  in  my  breast,  to  touch  the 


88  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

stars,  and  possess  the  infinite.  I  feel  as  if  all  the  American 
girls  in  Christendom  and  all  those  that  are  to  be  were 
standing  here  within  me  and  as  if  all  American  spirit  were 
mine,  and  the  world  my  stage.  What  a  marvellous  curtain ! 
What  a  brilliant  audience!  On  one  side  are  they.  The 
curtain  is  drawn  aside.  On  the  other  side  am  I.  The 
theatre  of  life.  I'll  do  a  woman's  part. 

RUSSELL.    You  are  the  most  womanly  of  all  women. 

MARY.  No.  I  am  too  like  father.  That's  what  I  blame 
him  for,  and  that's  why  he  blames  me. 

RUSSELL.  "Out  of  strength  comes  sweetness."  You'll 
let  me  take  care  of  you,  won't  you?  Tell  me  what  it  is 

MARY.    No. 

EUSSELL.    But  I  have  the  right. 

MARY.    That's  just  why 

[MARY  checks  herself.     RUSSELL  look*  at  her  tot- 

quiringly.] 

RUSSELL.    Yes ? 

MARY.    I  mean 

RUSSELL.    What? 

MARY.  Well,  when  I  was  a  little  girl  and  father  wished 
to  be  cross  to  mother  and  to  me,  mother  always  said,  "Don't 
let  the  child  suffer.  She  is  innocent.  Whatever  the  sins 
of  parents,  no  one  has  rights  against  children.  They  don't 
ask  to  come.  The  whole  world  owes  duties  toward  them." 
I  believed  that  then.  I  know  it  now.  I  am  going  away. 
Your  duties  are  here.  I  know  you  will  do  yours.  You  may 
trust  me  to  do  mine.  No  child  will  be  without  its  chance, 
if  I  have  my  way.  You — must  go  now. 

[MARY  turns  from  RUSSELL  and  walks  toward  the 
door.  RUSSELL  watches  her  for  a  moment,  then 
calls  to  her  softly.] 

RUSSELL.  Mary!  [MARY  turns,  the  moonlight  is  06- 
scured.]  Mary!  One  last  kiss. 

[MARY  walks  toward  the  window.  RUSSELL  comes 
up  to  her.  MARY  faces  RUSSELL.] 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  89 

MARY.  You  are  a  man,  aren't  you?  Lock  your  arms 
behind  you  and  keep  them  there.  Remember — one !  [MARY 
puts  a  hand  on  each  of  RUSSELI/S  shoulders  and  kisses  him 
on  the  lips.  RUSSELL  stands  his  ground.]  You  are  a  man. 

RUSSELL.    My  arms  don't  think  so ! 

MARY.  Be  proud  of  them.  They  beckon  and  caress  from 
there ! 

RUSSELL.    Have  you  nothing  to  tell  me? 

MARY.    That  /  shall  have  a  saving  pride. 

RUSSELL.  There's  a  reservation  working  against  me  in 
your  mind. 

MARY.    If  there  were,  it  would  not  be  so  hard  for  me. 

RUSSELL.    Will  you  write  to  me? 

MARY.    No.    That  is  not  in  my  role. 

RUSSELL.    May  I  write  to  you? 

MARY.     What  a  question  to  ask! 

RUSSELL.    And  you  will  once  in  a  while? 

MARY.  No.  I  will  come  back.  I  have  had  faith.  It  is 
your  turn  now.  [MARY  swallows,  braces  herself,  assumes 
an  attitude  of  great  firmness,  turns  her  face  from  RUSSELL, 
wheels  around,  points  to  the  door  he  is  facing  and  speaks  in 
a  hard,  unnatural  voice.]  Good-bye. 

RUSSELL.  [Turns  to  look  at  her  as  if  to  plead,  struggles 
ivith  himself,  yields,  speaks  in  a  voice  full  of  sadness,  ten 
derness,  and  respect.]  Good-bye.  [Turns,  bows  his  head, 
and  walks  out  of  the  door  without  turning  again.] 

MARY.  [Looking  after  RUSSELL  and  speaking,  in  a  sob, 
only  after  he  has  gone.]  Russell !  Russell ! ! 

[MARY  stands  a  moment,  faces  the  audience,  bursts 
into  tears,  kneels  by  the  divan,  sobs  and  suggests 
that  she  is  praying.  She  bows  her  head.  As  her 
head  falls,  her  lips  touch  the  flag  held  in  her 
folded  hands.  Awakened  to  consciousness  of  the 
flag,  she  regards  it  a  moment  through  her  tears, 
raises  it  slightly  in  both  hands,  lets  it  drop,  raises 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  90 

her  heady  swallows,  assumes  an  attitude  of  reso* 
lution,  brightens  up,  and  looks  for  a  considerable 
time  into  space,  as  if  into  the  future,  until  the 
fall  of  the  curtain.] 

CURTAIN. 


ACT  III. 


Before  the  rising  of  the  curtain,  the  orchestra  plays 
selections  from  Madame  Butterfly,  the  "Tavan"  ar 
rangement,  with  emphasis  upon  and  recurrence  to  the 
melody  of  "Un  bel  di  vedremo." 


Andante  molto  calmo.  j  « \t 
BMtrfly. 


thread of    smoke     a   -    ris  -   ing     on     the       sea In  th«  far     ho 

won    /if      *        Jit  -  w>      sul-  I'e  -    stre     -       mocm-fi*    del 


ri  -    -ion,  And     then the      ship    ap   >     pear  -   ing...-.-. 

ma    -     n.  B       /».. fa        na  -  ce  of,  -  fa    -     ft 

Dl  G.TOCCINI.  e<«ri«M»o«t7  OBC««  a  to. 

Hwr  B«JV.oa.  UCTTigJH  I3Wsl/y  GJUeortt  I 


ACT   III. 

The  Ante-Chamber  of  the  Hall  of  Arbitrations  of  the  Palace 
of  Peace,  at  The  Hague,  two  years  and  five  months  after 
the  close  of  Act  II.  The  stage  is  divided  as  in  the  first 
and  second  Acts,  the  principal  room  being  at  the  back 
of  the  stage  on  a  higher  level  than  the  Ante-Chamber, 
and  seen  through  a  wide  door  in  the  centre  of  the  stage. 
Over  the  bench  and  extending  its  full  width  is  an  im 
pressive  symbolic  oil  painting.  It  is  the  allegorical 
group  of  the  great  French  painter,  Albert  Besnard, 
entitled  "Peace"  A  female  figure  is  seen  seated,  lis 
tening  to  the  pleadings  of  two  litigants.  One  of  these 
is  arguing  with  vehemence,  and  the  woman  lifts  a 
hand  to  stop  him  that  she  may  hecr  the  other  pleader. 
Below  are  two  armed  warriors,  who,  their  differences 
having  been  settled,  ride  off  in  opposite  directions.  In 
the  foreground,  and  seemingly  detached  from  the  rest 
of  the  composition,  the  symbolic  figure  of  Peace  rises 
as  an  apparition  carrying  a  child  in  her  arms.  The 
Hall  of  Arbitrations  is  lighted  as  if  by  sunlight 
streaming  through  stained-glass  windows  extending 
the  entire  left  side.  The  walls  of  the  Ante-Chamber 
are  in  grey  Delft  tiles.  At  the  right,  just  outside 
the  Court  Room  door,  is  a  temporary  telegraph  office. 
As  persons  cross  the  stage  and  enter  the  Court 
Room,  they  remain  visible  in  the  Court  Room  through 
the  door.  The  movement  of  pages,  attendants  and 
lackeys  preparing  the  Court  Room,  is  visible  through 
out  the  act,  but  they  are  out  of  earshot.  The  characters 
of  the  play  can  be  heard  and  observed,  as  in  the  first 
and  second  acts,  both  far  and  near,  and  from  their  first 
coming  into  view  are  seen  talking  and  fully  occupied 
with  what  concerns  them,  using  the  words  of  the  play 
only  from  the  moment  they  come  within  earshot.  At  the 
left  of  the  door  are  telephone  booths.  In  the  centre 


94  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

is  a  table  with  periodicals  and  newspapers  ar 
ranged  in  rows.  Leather-covered  easy  chairs  are 
in  convenient  positions.  Leading  from  the  rear  of 
the  telegraph  office  is  a  door.  The  interior  of  the 
telegraph  office  is  visible  to  the  audience  through  a 
glass  door,  so  placed  as  not  to  bring  the  interior  of  the 
office  within  the  view  of  persons  on  the  stage.  Portraits 
of  William  the  Silent,  Jan  Van  Olden-Barneveldt,  and 
Hugo  Grotius  decorate  the  walls  of  the  Ante-Chamber. 
National  arms  and  flags  are  in  appropriate  positions. 
Tulips,  hyacinths,  gladiolas,  and  other  Dutch  flowers 
are  here  and  there  in  profusion. 

As  the  curtain  rises  slowly,  the  impressive  scene  is  dom 
inated  by  the  figure  of  the  woman  with  babe  in  arms 
in  the  foreground  of  the  painting  "Peace",  upon  which 
the  sunlight  streaming  through  the  unseen  windows 
at  the  right  sheds  a  flood  of  glory.  Throughout  this 
Act  and  the  newt,  this  poignant  figure,  in  wonderful 
relief  against  the  background  of  the  painting,  seems 
to  sense  the  situations  that  develop  within  her  view 
and  to  set  up  against  what  is  said  a  contrasting  view 
point,  quite  unlike  that  of  blind  Justice  with  the  scales, 
symbolized  by  the  balance  of  olive  branch  and  child. 
For  a  moment  after  the  rising  of  the  curtain  the  situa 
tion  is  static.  The  click  of  a  telegraph  instrument  calls 
attention  to  HUGO  GULP,  seated  behind  the  counter  ex 
plaining  the  Morse  code  to  small  red-cheeked  boys  by 
ticking  out  a  telegram  and  repeating  as  follows: 
-...B.--A...R..O  .  N.  "Baron." 

H    V,  <-U  .  G    .    .  O.    "Hugo."     ...  — 

V     .  --A  .   N.     "Van."        -   ..   D     .   E     ...   — 

V     .   E  .   N        -  T     .    E     .    . .   R,     "Deventer." 

. . . .  H     .  —  A .  G    . .      -  U    .  E.    "Hague." 

-  L    .  >  -  A       -  . .  D    . .    . .  Y.    "Lady."    .     -  A 
.    . .  R    .    . .  R    . .  I    ...     -  V    .  E    . .  .  S.    "Arrives." 

H    .  -  -  A  .  G     .  .      -  U     .  E.    "Hague." 

—  T     .    .   O    —   . .   D     ,   -—  A     . .    . .   Y.     "Today." 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  95 

M     .—A     .   . .  R     ....Y     .E.    "Marye." 

.—A M    .E    .   ..  R    ..I    ..    .  C    .—A 

.  N.     "American."     .  —  A M    —  . . .   B 

.         A     ...    S      ...    S      .  —  A     —  ..    D      .    .    O 

.  ..  R.  "Ambassador."  .  ..  R  ..  —  U  ...  S 
. . .  S  . .  I  .  —  A.  "Russia."  The  sound  of  the 
closing  of  a  door  is  heard.  GULP  rises  quickly,  signals 
and  says,  "Ga  in  het  Kantoor"  to  the  boys,  who  hasten 
into  the  office,  and,  still  holding  the  telegram  in  his 
hand,  busies  himself  examining  the  fixtures  of  his  office 
and  testing  the  apparatus.  GULP  keeps  the  telegram 
always  in  evidence  until  he  finally  shows  it  to  MARY. 
As  he  moves  about  he  alternately  whistles  and  hums 
and  sings  a  Dutch  song.  He  wears  a  pointed  beard 
and  flowing  moustache  and  dresses  his  hair  in  imita 
tion  of  Grotius.  GULP  is  of  giant  stature,  has  a  very 
hearty  laugh,  that  is  infectious,  and  an  easy  sense  of 
humor  that  sets  off  his  laughter  at  the  least  excuse. 
The  first  action  is  the  entrance  of  MARY  and  the  entire 
significance  of  her  intervention  in  the  situation  in  this 
Act  and  the  next  is  expressed  in  her  grasp  of  the  identity 
of  her  attitude  with  that  of  the  figure  of  "Peace"  At 
every  opportune  moment,  from  her  first  step  into  the 
Court-Room,  MARY  fairly  devours  the  painting  with 
her  gaze. 

[Enter  MARY,  from  the  left,  gowned  in  the  latest 
fashion.  She  is  accompanied  by  NORAH,  a  maid, 
disguised  as  a  lady.  There  is  about  MARY  an  at 
mosphere  of  charm,  power,  and  perfection — of  the 
American  girl  "become  the  exquisite  cosmopolitan 
woman  of  intellect,  smartness,  and  distinction. 
There  is  a  suggestion  of  sensuous  allurement  and 
of  possible  passion  controlled  by  a  will  of  steel, 
and  tempered  by  a  pliant  and  keen  humor.  She 
radiates  a  magnetism  wholly  feminine.  This  is 
evidenced  by  the  attitude  of  GULP,  who  is  him- 


96  THE  WASTREL  'HOARD. 

self  unobserved  "by  MARY,  and  has  interrupted  his 
song  at  her  entrance.  In  her  first  glance  about 
the  Ante-Chamber  and  Court  Room  she  runs  the 
whole  gamut  of  facial  expression.  At  her  first 
pause,  her  splendid  changing  eyes,  full  of  storm 
and  color,  drift  from  the  sea  gray  of  an  autumn 
sky  to  the  piercing  whiteness  of  the  fixed  gaze  of 
the  American  eagle — then,  smiling,  sweetly,  sadly, 
and  tenderly  in  succession,  as  if  in  joy  at  the  at 
tainment  of  a  goal  long  sought,  and  in  reminis 
cence  and  anticipation  combined,  she  suggests 
not  only  control  of  her  forces  for  summoning  and 
communicating  emotion,  but  how  wonderful  these 
forces  are.  Before  MARY  is  fairly  on  the  stage, 
she  stops,  turns  to  NORAH,  and  addresses  her  in 
a  loio  tone — almost  with  bated  breath.] 

MARY.  This — this  is  the  place,  Norah — the  Hall  of 
Arbitrations. 

NORAH.    Yes,  madame. 

MARY.  Now,  you  drive  right  back  to  Scheveningen, 
Norah,  and  remain  at  the  cottage  every  moment  until  I 
come — no  bathing,  even. 

NORAH.    Yes,  madame. 

MARY.  And  keep  Miss  Fanning  within  call  when  she 
goes  on  the  beach. 

NORAH.    Yes,  madame. 

MARY.  In  answer  to  all  inquiries,  you  are  stupid  for 
eigners  ;  you  know  nothing,  understand  nothing. 

NORAH.    Yes,  madame. 

MARY.  And  if  you  have  no  word  from  me  over  night, 
seek  out  Senator  Morse  here  and  inquire. 

NORAH.    Yes,  madame. 

MARY.    That's  all,  Norah.    You  may  go. 

NORAH.    Very  well,  madame. 
[NORAH  turns  to  go.] 

MARY.    And,  Norah 


TEE  WASTREL  HOARD. 


97 


NORAH.    Yes,  madame. 

MARY.     Be  careful — of — the  night — air — you  know. 

[NoRAH  smiles  as  she  goes  out.] 
NORAH.  Yes,  madame,  I  know.    Good-bye,  madame. 
MARY.    Good-bye,  Norah. 

[MARY  looks  about  cautiously  and  goes  into  the 
Court  Room.  Finding  that  room  empty, she  returns 
and  observes  GULP,  who,  having  watched  her  suf 
ficiently  while  her  back  was  turned,  now  resumes 

CULP.    [Singing.] 


^m 


1.  O    Nfrderiandl   let    op 


wm 


en  etont  to     daer,    Op-dat  nn  io  4eo 


^ 


le  •  ven :  Want  taj  werd  nu  gantscb  en  f  ee-  nemael  geeocbt  Tot  niet  to  zjjn  ver  -  be- veu. 


/ 


Neemt  acbt  op  ower  Luden  etaet, 

U  volck  end'  steden  meest 
8ijn  eterck  end'  daer  is  raet  eo  daet 

Van  outs  altijt  geweeet 
U  ade)  is  maobifticb  vroom, 

Men  vind  met  haer»  gelycken; 
f  e^<to  'SpKuaert  docb,ick  bid  u,  in  den  u»oom 
D»t  by  van  ons  oweb  wtjckea. 


Bescbut,  beschermt,  bewaerd  a  land, 

Let  op  bet  Spaeoscb  bedrog: 
Dj,  bet  Diet  nemeo  uijt  u  band 

U  PrevUegJen  tocbl 
Maer  tboont  a  elck  «ao  0110  voi  moet 

ID  t  boudeo  van  u  wetteo, 
Bovco  al  dieot  God  en  valt  hem  stesta  to  VM 
Dat  fail  op  u  macb  letteti 


98  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

his  song  and  pretends  to  be  busy  with  the  appara 
tus.  He  assumes  an  air  of  importance.  MARY 
sings  the  Dutch  song  inaudibly  in  time  with  GULP, 
and  with  appropriate  facial  expression  and  ges 
tures.  At  the  last  bar  she  sings  the  words  and 
music  with  him.  As  he  stops  singing,  she  ad 
dresses  him,  saying :  "Good  morning"  to  him  suc 
cessively  in  Dutch,  German,  French,  Spanish, 
Italian,  and  Russian.] 

MARY.    Goedenmorgen,  Meneerl    Guten  morgen,  mein 
Herri      Bon  jour,  Monsieur!      Buenos  dias,  Caballero! 
Buon  giorno,  Signor!  Dobroie  outro,  Gospodin!   Bejour! 
[At  each  salutation  GULP,  pretending  not  to  hear, 
turns  from  one  instrument  to  another.    As  MARY 
becomes  petulant,  GULP'S  amusement  becomes  ap 
parent.     He  has  the  sense  of  coming  enjoyment 
which  always  accompanies  restraint  in  a  Dutch 
man's  conversation  and  an  anticipatory  relish  of 
long-winded  discourse.    Suddenly  he  turns  about, 
with  mirth  ill-concealed.] 

GULP.    Good  morning,  Miss,  what  can  I  do  for  you? 

MARY.    You  speak  English? 

GULP.  No.  [Leaning  on  the  counter  and  assuming  an 
attitude  in  imitation  of  a  Yankee  country  storekeeper,  into 
which  character  GULP  drops  in  order  to  "point"  the  "com 
edy"  or  to  afford  relief  for  the  preaching,  when  the  situa 
tion  permits,  which  character,  however,  is  abjured  for  the 
pose  of  majesty  when  the  preaching  requires  dignity  or  a 
flight  of  eloquence  rises  "to  the  height  of  this  great  argu 
ment."]  I  speak  American. 

MARY.    Are  you  in  charge  of  this  telegraph  office? 

GULP.    I  am. 

MARY.   And  an  American? 

GULP.  I  was  born  a  Dutchman,  went  to  New  York,  be 
came  an  American  citizen,  came  back  to  Holland,  and  be 
came  a  Dutchman  again. 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 


99 


MARY.    Whenever  I  hear  a  man  whistling,  I  can't  tell 
whether  he's  a  Yankee  or  a  Dutchman. 

GULP.    If  he  wets  his  whistle 

To  keep  up  his  Dutch  courage ? 

He  is  an  American  still. 
Please  say  "Still  an  American."    It  sounds 


MARY. 
GULP. 
MARY. 
better. 
GULP. 


I  have  been  both. 
[MARY  laughs.} 

MARY.  That  is  a  Dutch  defense !  You  mean  both  Dutch 
and  American?    Which  do  you  call  your  country  now? 
GULP.    I  came  home  to  get  married. 
MARY.  "The  Girl  I  Left  Behind  Me."    That's  the  tune 
men  march  into  battle  by. 

GULP.    I  marched  back  home  to  it.     [GULP  sings  the 
bars  of  the  popular  Dutch  song.] 

"In  Holland  staat  een  huis; 
In  Holland  staat  een  huis." 

[A  page  boy  comes  out  of  the  telegraph  office,  whis 
tling  "Wien  Neerlandsch  Bloed."] 


100  THE   WASTREL   HOARD. 

[GULP  turns  quickly  and  says  to  him  in  Dutch, 
"Genoeg  gefloeten.  Ga  in  het  kantoor."  The  boy 
bursts  out  laughing,  and  says,  "Ja,  Meneer" 
bows  low,  turns  and  goes  into  the  telegraph  office. 
These  boys  are  very  young  and  have  round  faces, 
with  fat  flaming  red  cheeks.] 

MARY.     How  many  windmills  did  her  father  offer? 

GULP.  I  came  for  her  alone.  I  couldn't  stay  away. 
A  man's  country  is  where  his  best  girl  is.  Love  is  needing. 
That  is  what  makes  children's  love  so  beautiful.  And 
patriotism !  All  are  parts  of  the  same — sweet  song ! 

MARY.     Pardon  me,  Mr. 

GULP.  Gulp,  Miss,  Hugo  Gulp,  named  for  Hugo  De 
Groot  [GULP  points  to  the  portrait  of  Grotius],  author  of 
"The  Law  of  War  and  Peace,"  written  while  the  Pilgrim 
Fathers  were  shooting  the  Redskins,  whom  Penn,  likewise 
the  author  of  a  plan  for  the  Peace  of  Europe,  conquered 
with  brotherly  love.  De  Groot's  book,  of  all  works  not 
claiming  divine  inspiration,  has  proved  the  greatest  bless 
ing  to  humanity,  and  more  than  any  other  has  promoted 
the  blessings  of  peace  and  diminished  the  horrors  of  war. 
[MARY  smiles  at  this  recital  and  prepares  to  fence.] 

MARY.  Indeed — and  what  made  you  take  me  for  an 
American? 

GULP.  It's  tulips  and  tomboy  in  blend — full-blown. 
When  my  little  girl  grows  up  I'm  going  to  send  her  to 
America  to  get  it. 

MARY.  [Thrown  off  her  guard,  and  with  awakened  in 
terest'.]  How  old  is  she? 

GULP.    Four,  next  December. 

MARY.    And  a  boy? 

GULP.    He'll  be  two,  next  Fourth  of  July. 

MARY.  [Excitedly.]  No!  Why,  that's  my — [Catching 
herself.  She  involuntarily  clutches  for  an  object  at  her 
corsage  just  above  the  heart  as  if  to  make  sure  of  its  pres 
ence.]  Why,  you  know  what  the  Fourth  of  July  is?  Aren't 
boys  dear ! 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  101 

GULP.  It's  been  a  boy  year  in  Europe.  They  are  dear, 
indeed.  They  are  said  to  mean  war. 

MARY.    We  never  hear  that — or  any  of  this  war  lore. 

GULP.    Yet  it  affects  you — and  us,  too.    My  boy 

MARY.  If  he  had  only  been  born  in  the  United  States. 
What  would  he  not  have  been,  had  he  been  an  American ! 

GULP.  I've  thought  of  that !  You  see,  I  have  the  Ameri 
can  spirit. 

MARY.  What  do  you  take  to  be  the  real  American 
spirit? 

GULP.   Belief  in  yourself — faith  in  humanity ! 

MARY.    Then,  why  did  you  leave  the  United  States? 

[GULP  hesitates,  then  makes  a  gesture  of  making 
light  of  a  serious  subject  and  of  hesitancy  in 
speaking  frankly.} 

GULP.  Too  many  closed  avenues — too  little  living 
thought — I  was  too  independent.  I'm  like  the  native  wom 
en — I  couldn't  be  President — so  I  quit. 

MARY.    One  must  be  otherwise  eligible. 

GULP.  Why,  Europe's  full  of  my  kind.  You  couldn't 
assimilate  them. 

MARY.    But  where  is  their  allegiance? 

GULP.  To  an  idea.  They  want  the  government  that 
stands  for  it. 

MARY.    A  symbol — what  the  American  eagle  stands  for ! 

GULP.    The  American  eagle  certainly  stands  for  a  lot. 

MARY.    Would  they  fight  against  us? 

GULP.  Government's  insurance  is  what  it  gives  the  peo 
ple  to  fight  for.  Every  labor  union  in  America  is  an 
"International,"  and  every  leader,  like  his  cousin  german 
from  Missouri,  is  waiting  to  be  "shown."  [The  great  bell  in 
the  tower  of  the  Palace  of  Peace  strikes  eleven.  GULP  pulls 
out  his  watch  unconsciously  and  looks  at  it.  MARY  looks 
at  her  watch.]  The  new  Liberty  Bell,  the  most  wondrous 
that  ever  clanged,  proclaims  "Peace  Through  Justice"  for 
the  Supreme  Court  of  all  the  World. 


102  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

MARY.  While  cannon  proclaim  this  Palace  "The  Com- 
edy  House  of  the  World." 

GULP.  A  world  turning  from  tragedy  at  last.  Just 
think!  Diplomats  with  wit! 

MARY.   That  is  not  impossible. 

GULP.  The  smallest  grain  of  wit  is  the  undoing  of  a 
politician.  The  dullards  actually  think  Democracy  serves 
only  to  give  common  politicians  the  chance  to  rob  the  pub 
lic  formerly  monopolized  by  the  nobility.  Of  human  aspi 
rations  the  diplomat  takes  no  account.  "Where  your  treas 
ure  is,  there  will  your  heart  be  also."  Of  real  political 
and  diplomatic  aspirations,  the  common  people,  strangely, 
take  no  account. 

MARY.  But  should  we  expect  mere  place-holders  to 
avert  strife?  War  is  an  inheritance. 

GULP.  So  was  aristocracy.  The  two  go  together.  The 
ruling  classes  will  be  consumed  in  their  own  wars.  They 
are  big-gun  fodder  now,  as  well  as  the  rank  and  file. 

MARY.    Down  with  the  nobility — the  lords  of  war? 

GULP.  Yes — permanent  executives,  permanent  diplo 
mats,  permanent  opulence,  permanent  warfare,  to  maintain 
them,  and — permanent  poverty!  Governments  are  but 
weathervanes,  the  people  are  the  air;  when  weathervanes 
stick,  their  use  ends,  and  danger  from  the  breeze  com 
mences.  Aristocrats!  It  is  descendants  that  ennoble. 
Ancestors  are  the  commonest  things  in  the  world.  My 
parents  brought  up  fourteen  children,  and  saw  them  all 
through  Utrecht.  That  calls  for  higher  qualities  than  all 
other  feats  I  know.  That's  nobility  here  in  the  Land  of 
the  Stork — or  anywhere  else. 

MARY.  [Stepping  back  to  look  at  "Peace."]  That,  in 
America,  is  unconstitutional ! 

GULP.  That's  just  it.  It's  an  unnatural  constitution 
that  can't  stand  that  strain  and  develop  under  it.  The 
hand  that  rocks  the  cradle 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 


103 


[A  second  boy  comes  out  of  the  telegraph  office, 
whistling  "Wilhelmus  Van  Nassauwen."] 


AtlrfTO. 


[CULP  turns  quickly  and  says  to  him  in  Dutch,  "Niet 
meer  fleuten!  Ca  in  het  kantoor."  The  boy  bursts 
out  laughing,  and  says,  "Ja,  Menecr,"  and  boivs 
low,  turns,  and  goes  into  the  telegraph  office.] 

MARY.  [Laughing  at  GULP.]  That's  it!  First,  "let  us 
have  peace."  The  peace  movement,  too,  is  in  its  infancy. 
The  Hague  Tribunal  is  but  the  embryo  of  its  judicial 
system. 

CULP.  The  cause  of  peace  thrives  only  in  free  countries. 
The  power  and  influence  and  the  example  of  America  could 
make  the  whole  world  free  and  peaceful.  For  three  hun 
dred  years,  tiny  Holland,  surrounded  by  warring  tyran 
nies,  made  the  fight  alone  for  peace  and  democracy. 

MARY.  And  the  United  States  first  realized  democracy. 


104  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

CULP.  No.  We  gave  America  its  government,  its  edu 
cational  system,  its  law,  and  its  international  policy. 

MABY.    Jingo!    "We,  the  People  of  the  World!" 

CULP.  Bead  the  American  Motley's  "The  Rise  of  the 
Dutch  Republic,"  and  "Jan  Van  Olden-Barneveldt." 
There's  his  portrait.  [CULP  points  to  the  portrait  of  Jan 
Van  Olden-Barneveldt.]  Why,  we  gave  you  the  federal  sys 
tem  of  government.  Jan  Van  Olden-Barneveldt,  on  the 
12th  of  May,  1619,  had  his  head  chopped  off,  not  far  from 
this  very  spot,  because  he  believed  in  the  little  states'  rights, 

MARY.  [Going  toward  GULP.]  I  know.  That's  what 
that  old  Dutch  song  of  yours  was  about,  wasn't  it? 

CULP.  Yes.  I  am  glad  you  know  it.  The  whole  world 
should.  It  is  the  song  of  liberties  protected  by  the 
system  of  government  our  martyrs  died  for.  And  that 
system, — which  unites  conflicting  elements,  nationally 
or  internationally,  the  most  closely  by  simply  dividing 
them  the  least — that  system  now  in  your  keeping,  gave 
to  the  world,  for  larger  units,  the  basis  for  uniting 
the  races  of  the  world  in  eternal  peace,  in  co-opera 
tion,  and  in  liberty  and  independence  under  the  rule 
of  law.  It's  the  great  shock-absorber  on  the  road  to 
bigger  ideas  in  civil  government,  the  answer  to  the  men 
who  do  everything  for  themselves  in  the  name  of  the  state 
and  say,  "The  state!  It  is  I!" — and  rely  on  destructive 
force  as  the  sole  basis  of  power  and  prosperity  instead  of 
the  broader  principles  of  justice  and  brotherhood  through 
federation.  The  Pilgrim  Fathers  knew  Van  Olden-Barne 
veldt;  the  founders  of  what  is  now  New  York  were  his 
friends.  And  Hugo  De  Groot,  his  young  protege 

MARY.    Just  a  word,  please! 

CULP.    And  in  education  and  religious  freedom '! 

Erasmus,  a  Dutchman,  left  the  embryo  of  the  modern 
spirit  that  Martin  Luther  dwarfed ! 

MARY.    You'd  never  know  that  from  the — the — noise. 

CULP.    True  Christians  should! 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  105 

MARY.  [Going  to  look  at  "Peace."]  Judging  from  art, 
which 

CULP.  Yes? 

MARY.    Beached  its  highest  development 

CULP.    [Defiantly.]    Where? 

MARY.  [Teasing.]  — in  Holland,  of  course.  In  the  red 
cheeks  of  Dutch  babies.  Art  and  the  highest  morality  are 
one.  The  child  rules  public  opinion,  fleets,  and  armies. 

GULP.     Holland  gave  the  world  the  first  newspaper. 

MARY.     To  record 

GULP.  [Retorting.] — birth  notices  of  red-cheeked  in 
fants — nothing  else. 

MARY.     [Absently.]     Nothing  else. 

CULP.  Holland  gave  the  world  the  first  public 
school 

MARY.     [Coming  back.]    For  the  babies. 

CULP.  And  started  public  compensation  for  private  in 
equality.  That  was  the  beginning  of  modern  justice. 

MARY.     [Going  toward  GULP.]     For  the  poor  parents. 

CULP.  In  the  immortal  epoch  when  those  of  true  Eng 
lish  mind  struggled  at  home  and  even  left  home  that  the 
spirit-purpose  of  the  race  might  extend  throughout  the 
world,  Selden,  their  great  jurist,  said  the  sea  belonged  by 
divine  right  to  certain  governments — and  that  they  owned 
it,  top,  sides  and  bottom ;  De  Groot  said  the  sea  was  free, 
and  that  every  nation  has  a  natural  right,  so  long  as  it 
conducts  itself  as  a  civilized  State,  to  access  to  every  other 
nation  by  water.  No  war  was  ever  started  by  a  whole 
people.  Holland  laid  the  foundation  for  peace. 

MARY.    So  that  the  parents  could  bring  up  the  babies. 

CULP.  The  United  States  took  the  Dutch  idea  and  con 
vinced  England. 

MARY.    Precisely. 

CULP.  The  Dutch  are  the  nearest  cousins  of  the  Eng 
lish.  The  best  part  of  the  race  is  in  Holland  and  America. 
We  Dutch  and — we — Americans — are — brothers.  But  a 
new  influence  has  suppressed  the  old  idea  in  America. 


106  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

MABY.  Within  twenty  years  we  have  driven  Spanish 
rule  from  its  last  foothold  in  America. 

GULP.  Almost  four  hundred  years  ago  Holland  drove 
the  Spanish  system  into  its  corner  in  Europe. 

MARY.    But  America 

GULP.  America,  the  offspring  of  the  great  renaissance 
of  civil  glory  of  England  and  of  Holland,  America,  the 
embryo  of  the  world  empire  of  free  institutions,  of  an  ever- 
higher  justice,  and  a  larger  freedom,  an  empire  that  give* 
every  part  its  chance  and  scope  to  be  its  best,  this  America, 
offering  vain  resistance  to  everlasting  racial  traits,  fosterg 
the  old  system,  while  Holland  keeps  it  out. 

MABY.    Spain? 

GULP.  No.  But  it's  the  old  system,  away  from  which 
the  world  has  been  advancing  for  generations — a  race  of 
paupers,  worked  for  the  dynasts.  War  maims  the  body,  but 
it  fires  the  soul ;  war  kills  the  body,  but  it  perpetuates  the 
soul ;  pauperism  starves  the  body,  and  it  kills  the  soul. 
White  slavery  has  many  phases.  War  in  defense  of  a  free 
nation  is  holy ! 

MARY.  Lookout!  [Conscious  of  plagiarism.}  Beware 
of  the  fixed  idea!  I  saw  hordes  of  soldiers  throughout 
Germany.  "Have  /  not  heard  great  ordnance  in  the  field?" 

GULP.  [Reminiscing.}  The  fixed  idea!  A  stock  cau 
tion  of  an  old  friend!  [Returning  to  the  fray.}  Soldiers! 
These  are  only  for  manoeuvres. 

MARY.  They  may  believe  it.  I  can't.  Well — if  they 
are — what  would  war  be?  Who  feeds  the  conscripts !  Look 
out  for  this  white  slavery.  Guns  are  made  to  shoot.  Even 
when  nobody  wants  war,  big  guns  go  off  of  their  own  ac 
cord.  A  little  nation  can  be  swallowed  up  and  even  their 
own  descendants  will  not  remember  those  who  sleep  in 
soldiers'  graves. 

GULP.  We  have  no  fear.  We  leave  it  to  the  great  to 
ruin  their  people  from  fear.  With  us  the  military  stand 
point  is  identical  with  the  humane  one. 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  107 

MARY.  Germans  say  the  world's  against  the  Father 
land! 

GULP.  A  hospital  case — the  fixed  idea — the  twin 
manias  of  grandeur  and  persecution — typical — Furor  Teu- 
tonicus.  Every  sane  nation  is  a  Motherland! 

MARY.    But  Holland  is  always  prepared? 

GULP.  Holland  is  for  peace  at  any  price — payable  in 
advance.  You  strain  at  a  gnat,  we  get  the  camel. 

MARY.  [Going  to  look  at  "Peace."]  Germans  say  war 
makes  a  race  efficient. 

GULP.  But  not  for  humanity.  It  reduces  human  beings 
through  efficiency  to  the  status  of  bees  in  somebody  else's 
hive.  Look  out  for  your  own  dynasts. 

MABY.    They  are,  at  least,  our  own. 

GULP.  You  are  theirs — and  they  are  aliens.  No  race 
was  ever  enslaved  at  home.  We  have  no  poor. 

MARY.  But  the  land  is  fertile. 

GULP.  We  redeemed  it  from  the  sea.  Our  proverb 
runs:  "God  made  the  sea,  but  we  made  the  shore."  And 
we've  kept  it  ours.  That's  just  it.  And  if  the  foreigner 
comes  we'll  consign  it  to  the  sea  again.  Poverty  cannot 
exist  where  tulips  bloom.  America  could  take  its  deserts 
alone  and  keep  the  world  in  happiness  and  plenty,  without 
the  help  of  a  single  one  of  your  two  million  child  laborers. 
America  could  close  its  saloons  and  have  two  and  a  half 
billion  dollars  each  year  to  make  these  children  strong 
American  men  and  women.  Is  that  land  yours?  Learn 
about  canals  and  irrigation  from  us.  Cheap  transportation 
is  the  keystone  of  the  arch  of  popular  well-being  and  canals 
are  public  ways.  In  Holland  as  in  the  United  States  the 
path  of  the  canal  boat  marked  the  first  current  of  national 
life  on  still  waters  that  ran  deep.  Through  it  we  have 
eliminated  the  middleman.  No  sell-out  statesmen!  No 
foreign  bankers ! 

MARY.   [Going  toward  GULP.]    Ah!  The  underwriters ! 

GULP.  Because  ours  is  ours,  it  yields  us  threefold  In 
everything,  in  food,  in  happiness  and 


108 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 


MARY.    And  babies.    That's  why  you  came  back. 

GULP.  Yes.  And  your  unclaimed  mines  and  forests 
alone  would  ransom  humanity.  But  you  are  untrue  to 
yourselves.  Your  unassimilated  races  are  still  owned  by 
your  men  without  a  country,  your  alien,  or  denaturalized 
billionaires. 

MARY.  But  the  American  people 

GULP.  Beneath  the  surface,  does  not  exist.  With  vast 
numbers  you  have  become  a  surface  people.  Disgraceful 
realities  don't  bother  you.  You  tolerate  a  civilization  of 
saloon,  and  slum,  and  brothel,  not  your  own.  It  isn't  num 
bers  that  beat  tyrants.  It's  brains  and  character — and 

[A  third  ~boy  comes  out  of  the  telegraph  office,  whis 
tling  "Oranje  Boven."] 


[GULP  turns  quickly  and  says  to  him  in  Dutch, 
"Genoeg!  Niet  meer  fleuten!  Ga  in  het  Kan- 
toor!"  The  boy  stops  whistling,  bursts  out  laugh 
ing,  and  says,  "Ja,  Meneer,"  and  bows  low,  turns 
and  goes  into  the  telegraph  office.  MARY  smiles 
at  the  interruption.'} 

MARY.  And  babies!  You  know  all  children  love  one 
another.  [Going  to  look  at  "Peace."]  They  are  the  really 
great  diplomats.  The  test  of  a  nation  is  its  babies.  . 

GULP.  What  chance  will  they  have  against  the  alien 
monopolies  their  free-born  parents  delivered  them  to?  The 
fundamental  postulate  of  democracy  is  the  spiritual  equal 
ity  of  all  men.  How  can  the  spirit  exist  where  private  own- 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  109 

ership  of  public  property  prevails  and  unjust  private  taxa 
tion  is  permitted? 

MARY.    We  do  not  permit  that;  we  fight  against  it. 

GULP.  You  are  fighting  in  the  wrong  country.  The 
dynasts  have  you  now.  Only  real  democracy  can  resist 
foreign  invasion.  Your  democracy  is  a  hollow  imitation. 

MARY.  [Going  toward  CULP.]  We  could  beat  the  world. 

GULP.  I've  heard  of  the  little  American  navy  under 
Decatur  wiping  out,  for  the  first  time  and  for  the  rest  of 
the  world,  the  Barbary  pirates.  I've  heard  the  phrase  of 
Minister  Pinckney  to  the  French  Republic,  "Millions  for 
defense,  but  not  one  cent  for  tribute",  a  moral  sentiment 
then  first  uttered  by  a  nation;  and  I've  heard  of  the  war 
of  the  little  American  Republic  against  great  England, 
wielding  Neptune's  trident  as  the  sceptre  of  the  world, 
to  stop  her  from  impressing  American  sailors.  And  the 
United  States  Supreme  Court  set  aside  the  grant  by  the 
State  of  New  York  even  to  such  benefactors  of  humanity 
as  Livingston  and  Fulton  of  the  exclusive  right  of  steam 
navigation  on  the  Hudson  River.  Not  sixty  years  ago 
the  United  States  led  the  world  in  the  abolition  of  the 
sound  dues  charged  by  Denmark.  In  1879,  the  Secretary 
of  State  dared  any  nation  to  assert  exclusive  claims  to  the 
(Strait  of  Magellan;  in  1892,  you  held  Canada  up  to  the 
open-waterway  rule  for  the  Welland  Canal;  and  in  1899, 
you  kept  an  open  door  in  China — a  matter  of  equal  privi 
leges  in  trade. 

MARY.    Splendid ! 

GULP.  Yes !  These  things  make  a  glorious  past.  That's 
where  the  American  people  live.  But  real  democracy  can 
never  go  backward  or  give  up  progress  once  achieved. 
These  ideas  as  a  mirage  lead  to  destruction.  In  holding 
them  absolutely,  at  all  times,  the  only  safety  lies.  Only 
shallow  people  live  in  the  past ;  the  wise  live  in  the  present 
and  the  future. 

MARY.    America  is  Europe's  only  future. 


110  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

CULP.  For  a  century  America  has  been  the  graveyard 
of  European  errors.  Immigrants  from  lands  where  belief 
in  the  ultimate  excellence  of  human  nature  has  flagged, 
have  had  their  ancestral  characteristics  swiftly  absorbed  in 
their  environment. 

MARY.  Exactly!  The  soul  of  the  universe  epokc 
through  our  life. 

GULP.  While  yon  were  true  to  yourselves,  you  couldn't 
be  false  to  others.  But  the  all-conquering  American  mind, 
formed  through  three  of  the  most  wonderful  centuries  in 
social  progress,  has  lost  control  of  itself,  submits  to  the 
control  of  the  ancestral  ideas,  and  to  a  system  of  political 
penetration  for  the  benefit  of  those  who  profit  by  them, 
until  the  highest  social  consciousness  can  only  observe  the 
dissipation  of  the  millennium  almost  within  grasp.  All 
races  are  striving  toward  emancipation  from  the  circum 
stances  that  enslave  them  and  America  was  the  great  hope. 
To  its  alien  millions,  against  their  masters  by  divine  right, 
America  no  longer  has  an  honest  principle  to  offer.  In 
America,  now,  they  change  their  sky  but  not  their  mind. 
You  drive  them  back  to  what  they  came  to  avoid,  and  allow 
them  to  destroy  for  you  what  they  came  there  to  get  for 
themselves.  In  your  boasted  melting-pot,  the  active  agents 
boil  in  terms  of  dynastic  intrigue;  the  native  stock  sim 
mers  under  the  milk-white  flag.  Even  here  I  sense  the 
indignation  of  the  great  spirit  of  America  that  seems  to 
come  from  all  those  great  and  small,  living  and  dead,  who 
by  their  struggles  and  yearnings  have  made  it. 

MARY.  Mr.  Gulp,  why  are  you  working  here  as  a  tele 
graph  operator? 

GULP.  [Half  fencing,  half  serious.]  Say,  Miss,  one  of 
the  most  learned  men  I  know  is  a  New  York  barber.  He 
works  at  the  trade  just  for  the  opportunity  to  talk  to  his 
patrons. 

MARY.    That's  remarkable ! 

GULP.  No;  in  a  free  country  a  high  average  of  culture 
and  mental  force  should  be  the  common  inheritance — of 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  Ill 

workers  as  well  as  dilettanti.  Those  who  think  the  lowliest 
father  of  a  family  hasn't  the  highest  political  philosophy 
and  a  social  point  of  view  haven't  the  right  to  think  them 
selves.  Where  else  can  national  aspirations  be  fostered 
but  in  the  toiling  masses?  Every  mother's  son  of  them  as 
sumes  now  to  impose  his  own  code  upon  the  world  and  to 
fiit  in  judgment  on  the  universe.  And,  with  justice ! 

MARY.    I  have  never  heard  it  put  that  way  before. 

GULP.  [Smiling.}  The  best  culture  is  that  of  the  man 
ly  and  courteous  instincts,  and  loving  perceptions.  It  is 
not  limited  to  parlors  and  lecture  rooms,  but  applies  to  the 
conduct  of  the  daily  round  of  duties  and  affairs.  To  this 
culture  any  man  is  eligible. 

MARY.    That  is  Walt  Whitman ! 

GULP.  It  wasn't  for  nothing  Whitman  was  of  mixed 
Dutch  and  English  blood.  He  wrote  the  American 
Bible 

MARY.  For  Lincoln's  plain  people.   "My  Captain !" 

GULP.    Who  no  longer  exist. 

MARY.  [By  way  of  compromise.}  They  are  all  com 
mon  now. 

GULP.  Common  or  preferred.  They  have  lost  the  happy 
medium  of  the  average  man — work.  Our  clearest  ideas 
come  to  us  when  our  hands  are  busy.  Fairy  thoughts  arc 
woven  by  fairy  fingers.  This  America  Figaro  is  really 
learned.  A  wrinkled  brow,  however  fortified,  never  pro 
duced  a  work  of  art.  All  honest  work  is  equal  and  deserves 
a  normal  and  substantially  equal  reward! 

MARY.    I  didn't  mean  any  disrespect. 

GULP.  There  couldn't  be  any.  A  good  telegraph  op* 
erator  is  better  than  a  bad  lawyer.  The  "Sons  of  Rest/' 
too,  come  from  both  extremes.  America,  the  land  of  oppor 
tunity,  has  surrendered  to  success  and  has  no  place  for 
honest  failures,  however  valuable  their  effort.  It  respects 
particularly  the  successful  rascal — however  destructive  his 
effort  to  the  community.  It  only  takes  a  few  intellectual 
perverts,  well  placed,  to  turn  the  world  upside  down.  If 


112  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

you  only  knew  with  how  little  wisdom  the  world  is  gov 
erned! 

MAEY.    That  is  true.    For  whom  are  you ? 

GULP.  The  Carnegie  Foundation  charged  the  Nether 
lands  government  with  the  direction  of  this  court.  I  am 
here  with  express  orders  to  see  that  no  folly  is  attempted 
and  that  everybody  gets  a  square  deal. 

MARY.    7  came  early  to  get  you  to  help  me. 

CULP.  If  it  was  only  coming  early  that  was  necessary, 
you  didn't  come  early  enough. 

MARY.    What  do  you  mean? 

GULP.    Do  you  know  this  man? 

[Handing  MARY  a  card.} 

MARY.  Has  he  been  here? 

GULP.  You  almost  met  him  as  you  came  in. 

MARY.  What  did  he  wish? 

GULP.  The  same  as  you. 

MARY.  You  must  be  mistaken.  That  man  is  the  head 
lobbyist  for  monopoly  in  the  United  States,  the  chief  in- 
flater  for  the  "Air  Trust,"  the  brains  of  the  public  enemy, 
the  master  of  the  invisible  government.  He's — he's — un 
derstudy — to  the  devil  himself. 

GULP.  I  said  he  wished  me  to  help  him.  Don't  you  wish 
me  to  help  you ? 

MARY.    Of  course 

GULP.    I'll  do  anything — proper — you  wish. 

MARY.    But  Bullard  persuaded  you? 

GULP.  I  formed  a  first  impression — a  general  impres 
sion — and  against  impressions  persuasion  is  useless. 

MARY.  And  you  naturally  distrust  me — [Descending  in 
anxiety  to  plaintiveness  amounting  almost  to  a  whine] — 
because  I  am  a  stranger. 

CULP.  My  first  impression  of  you  was— in  Berlin.  I 
know  your  notes  are  good. 

MARY.    Thank  you. 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 


113 


GULP.  I've  done  secret  service  work  throughout  Eu 
rope.  I  heard  you  every  time  I  could. 

MARY.  [With  reviving  assurance.]  I'm  so  glad! 
You're  just  the  man  I  need  for  a  friend. 

GULP.  If  you  plan  to  help  the  royal  lackeys  you've  been 
smiling  on  throughout  Europe,  you  may  count  me  against 
you. 

[A  fourth  boy  comes  out  of  the  telegraph  office  whis 
tling  "De  Nederlandsche  Vlag."] 


[GULP  turns  quickly  and  says  to  him  in  Dutch, 
"Genoeg!  Kom  allemaal  der  uit  en  ben  gereed!" 
The  boy  stops  whistling,  bursts  out  laughing,  and 
says,  "Ja,  Meneer"  and  bows  low,  turns,  and 
goes  into  the  telegraph  office.] 

MARY.  See  here,  Mr.  Dutchman.  [MARY  puckers  up  her 
lips  and  whistles  a  few  bars  of  "Yankee  Doodle"]  We 
have  American  tunes  to  whistle ! 

GULP.  Why  not  stick  to  them !  That's  better  than  your 
plan  to  give  the  measure  for  nobles  to  dance  by. 

MARY.  I  have  no  such  plan.  The  sentiments  you  have 
expressed  are  mine.  See,  I  trust  you.  The  best  friend  I 
have  in  the  world  is  in  the  State  Department  at  Washing 
ton — Russell  Turner — he's  Counselor 


114 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 


[GULP  utters  an  exclamation  of  surprise  which 
checks  MARY'S  speech.] 

GULP.  Russell  Turner !  How  is  that !  Bullard  tried  to 
use  Russell  Turner's  name  with  me. 

MARY.    Yes.    Do  you  know  him? 

GULP.    Not  so  well  by  that  name. 

MARY.    That's  his  name,  isn't  it? 

GULP.  /  called  him  William  the  Silent.  [GULP  points 
to  the  portrait  of  William  the  Silent.]  He  called  me  Hugo 
the  Great — De  Groot,  you  know 

MARY.     How  did  you  know  himf 

GULP.  For  three  years  I — saw  America — with  a  tippling 
waster  who  had  for  four  years  been  levying  blackmail 
upon  Russell's  wife.  She  told  her  husband  only  after  the 
strain  had  broken  her  health.  The  noble  European ! 

[MARY  follows  GULP  with  tense  interest  which  she 
attempts  to  conceal  and  with  fear  that  he  may 
not  continue.  The  four  boys  come  out  of  the  tele 
graph  office  with  cable  blanks  in  their  hands. 
They  line  up  in  front  of  GULP,  who  turns  to  face 
them.  They  salute,  whistling,  "Al  is  ons  Landje 
nog  zoo  klein."] 


[Their  attempt  to  whistle  gives  way  to  their  amuse 
ment,  they  burst  out  laughing,  break  ranks,  go 
into  the  Ante-Chamber  and  the  Court  Room,  plac 
ing  blanks  here  and  there.  They  attempt  to  under- 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  115 

$tand  the  conversation  in  English,  whispering  con 
fidences  and  guesses  to  one  another.] 

MARY.    Yes 

GULP.  Russell  kept  the  fellow's  lips  sealed — until  alco 
hol  finally  clapped  its  big  silencer  on — and  he  has  taken 
care  of  the  children  since.  It  cost  him  all  he  could  earn, 
but  he  made  good.  The  dog  started  to  boast  to  me  once 
about  the  children — only  once,  however,  and  not  desiring 
Russell  to  kill  him,  I  didn't  take  the  trouble  to  communi 
cate  the  hint. 

MARY.    [Expectantly.]     Yes — and 

GULP.    The  story  never  came  out,  and 

MARY.    Yes 

GULP.  And  now  it  never  will.  To  have  done  every 
thing  for  children  you  did  not — Well — Russell  Turner's 
the  biggest  man  I  ever  knew. 

MARY.    Did  Bullard  know? 

GULP.  It  was  I  who  inquired  of  Bullard?  flehadneVer 
even  seen  me!  Even  now  he  thinks  I  understand  no 
English  or  any  other  language  he  does. 

MARY.    And  what  did  he  say? 

GULP.  Like  you.  "Russell  Turner  is  nearer  to  me  than 
anybody  in  the  world."  But  I,  it  seems,  am  closer  to  Rue- 
sell  than  either  of  you. 

MARY.  It  isn't  so!  I  mean — that  Bullard — is  Russell's 
worst  enemy.  Russell's  Acting  Secretary  of  State  and  Bnl* 
lard  is  trying  to  use  that  with  you. 

GULP.  How  can  I  know?  Bullard  proved  it  by  dia 
grams.  He  thought  I  couldn't  grasp  his  English! 

MARY.  [As  if  fearful  of  going  too  far.]  He  is  the  man 
who  taught  me  Whitman.  The  American  agent  will  tell 
you. 

GULP.    You  mean  Senator  Morse? 

MARY.  Yes.  He  has  been  like  a  father  to  me — to  u8 
both,  in  fact.  I  wish  to  help  him,  but  I'm  afraid  I'll  have 
to  do  it  in  my  own  way.  Bullard  tried  to  work  on  him 


116  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

through  Russell,  but  I  stopped  that.  Now  he'll  resort  to 
his  old  game  of  threats — and  that  will  include  the  judges. 
Bullard  wishes  to  write  their  decree. 

GULP.    You  don't  say  so !    What  do  you  wish  to  do? 

MARY.  To  get  private  messages  to  Russell  and  to  tell 
him  what  to  reply. 

GULP.  Would  this  be  safe,  this  message  business? — or 
right? 

MARY.  Both.  His  spirit  is  so  near  to  me,  I  sense  his 
purpose.  [MARY  pauses  as  if  receiving  a  spirit  message.] 
He's  thinking  what  we  are,  now.  You'll  get  a  message.  I 
know  these  European  rascals — I  have  reason  to — and  the 
Senator  doesn't.  Sometimes  I'll  ask  you  to  hand  me  replies 
before  they  have  been  received. 

GULP.  [Quietly.]  I've  never  heard  of  such  a  request. 
I'd  not  send  a  crooked  message  under  royal  command.  I'd 
jump  into  the  Vyver  first. 

MARY.  Look  here,  Mr.  Gulp !  This  very  kind  of  mental 
telepathy  rules  the  United  States.  We  haven't,  never  had, 
and  never  can  have  any  really  adequate  governmental  ma 
chinery  to  express  so  many  wills.  Yet — if  what  one  hun 
dred  million  people  think  were  not,  in  obedience  to  their 
magnetic  power,  realized  in  government  forthwith,  there 
would  be  not  freedom  and  acquiescence  but  the  worst  of 
tyranny,  consciousness  of  oppression,  and  eternal  civil  war. 
History,  as  well  as  theory,  shows  that  it  is  through  their 
own  thoughts,  as  well  as  by  brute  force,  that  men  havs 
always  been  governed.  Every  generous  humane  common 
impulse  is  telepathic  and  universal.  And  people  the  world 
over  are  getting  closer  every  day.  Unless  they  think  moral 
ly  they  cannot  survive.  And  here,  in  this  court,  if  its  decrees 
are  to  stand,  must  be  heard  the  voice  of  America, 
the  voice  of  Europe,  the  voice  of  the  world;  here  must 
be  felt  the  pulsations  and  the  waves  of  thought  of  all  the 
lovers  of  humanity  and  justice  in  the  whole  civilized  world. 
[MARY  has  drawn  out  from  the  sash  of  her  gown  the  little 
American  flag,  used  in  the  first  act.  Her  question  to  GULP 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  117 

is  a  challenge.  As  she  delivers  it,  she  rests  her  left  hand, 
holding  the  flag,  upon  the  counter,  and  gesticulates  with 
the  right  hand.]  Will  you  do  it? 

CULP.  I  feel  that  way.  If  I  can  confirm  this  by  inquiry. 
[Showing  MARY  the  telegram  of  the  Ambassador.]  With 
out  knowing  it,  you  have  needed  protection  these  past  two 
years,  and  Uncle  Sam  has  given  it  to  you. 

MARY.  I  sincerely  hope  Uncle  Sam  is  establishing  a 
precedent.  It  is  about  time  he  protected  his  own.  But  I 
very  much  suspect  Uncle  Sam  is  in  this  case  just  a  par 
ticular  friend  of  mine — of  ours,  in  fact.  Will  you  help  me? 

GULP.  Perhaps.  Do  you  know  how  to  use  a  cable 
code? 

MARY.  Yes,  but  I'm  terribly  slow  at  it.  Let's  make  the 
code  up  afterward. 

GULP.  But  the  receiver  always  wants  the  original  ci 
pher. 

MARY.  Then  I  must  get  appointed  Senator  Morse's 
secretary.  I'll  go  see  him  right  off. 

GULP.    You  may  as  well  wait  here  for  him. 

MARY.  But  he  doesn't  even  know  that  I'm  in  Holland. 
I  couldn't  let  him  know  that  I've  been  here  arranging  with 
you  to  manage  the  Tribunal  for  him.  I'll  go  find  him  at  his 
hotel  or,  if  he  has  left,  follow  him  here.  Don't  mention  me 
to  anyone. 

GULP.    Certainly  not ;  but  here's  some  one  now. 

MARY.    I  mustn't  be  seen — what  shall  I  do? 

GULP.  Come  in  here  and  go  through  that  door.  It  leads 
through  my  office  to  the  way  out.  Listen  to  see  who  it  is. 
If  it's  the  Senator,  come  back  through  the  corridor 

MARY.    All  right,  I'll  listen. 

GULP.  And  if  it  is  not,  you  can  go  around  into  the  Con 
ference  Room.  From  the  door  facing  this  way,  you  can  get 
a  view  of  everything — here  and  in  the  Court  Room. 

MARY.    All  right.    It'll  be  all  right. 

[MARY  e,mts  through  telegraph  office  door.     Two 
reading  clerks  and  a  stenographer  enter  together 


118  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

and  go  directly  into  the  Court  Room,  nodding  to 
GULP  and  saying  "  Goedenmorgen"  which  saluta 
tion  GULP  returns.  Enter  SENATOR  MORSE.  Looks 
around  and  approaches  GULP  ;  he  fixes  his  lips  so 
as  to  enunciate  plainly.] 

SENATOR  MORSE.  I  desire  to  make  arrangements  for  the 
transmission  of  messages  to  the  United  States.  [GULP  as 
sumes  an  air  of  amused  innocence.]  I  am  agent  for  the 
Pacific  Canal  Case  of  the  United  States  of  America,  and  I 
desire  to  arrange  for  the  transmission  of  official  messages. 
[GULP  shrugs  his  shoulders.]  I  should  think  the  manager 
of  this  Tribunal  would  have  had  sense  enough  to  have  a 
man  in  charge  who  could  speak  English. 

GULP.  Well,  Senator ;  if  Uncle  Sam  appointed  trained 
diplomats  instead  of  plutocrats  and  politicians,  that 
wouldn't  be  necessary.  That's  a  hot  one,  all  right,  but  it 
was  coming  to  you.  Your  diplomatists  are  statesmen  in 
embryo,  who  first  learn  the  rudiments  in  the  highest  and 
most  responsible  stations — millions  of  middle  class  people 
represented  by  chance  holders  of  colossal  fortunes  which 
assure  them  of  situations  not  merited,  to  say  the  least,  by 
their  careers.  The  one  field  of  activity  in  which  democracy 
does  not  demand  experts  is  government  itself. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  [Sparring  for  time  to  regain  his 
equilibrium.]  Then  you  do  understand  English? 

GULP.  [Laughing.]  Not  as  you  pronounce  it.  Who 
the  deuce  could?  I  speak  American.  That's  plainer.  Eng 
lish  is  a  dialect.  All  others  are  dead  languages. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    But  you're  a  Dutchman ! 

GULP.  Of  American  descent.  By  the  Holland-America 
line. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    How  did  you  dare  to  joke  with  me? 

GULP.  Because  I  know  you.  And  your  speech  was  not, 
as  you  diplomats  say,  comminatory.  I  knew,  besides,  that, 
as  a  politician,  you'd  stand  for  it  from  me.  I  used  to  live 
in  your  district. 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  119 

SENATOR  MORSE.    My  Congress  District? 

CULP.  I  was  an  Election  District  Captain  in  the  Dia 
mond  Backed  District. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  [With  a  hearty  laugh.]  Then  you 
were  a  power  in  politics"? 

GULP.  /  was  a  mannikin  with  the  other  puppet  politi 
cians — until  /  sized  them  up.  I  found  out  the  real  rulers 
are  your  cosmopolitan  financiers,  the  people  with  the  ma- 
zuma,  from  below  the  "dead  line" — New  York's  symbol  of 
the  understanding  between  the  criminal  and  the  rich. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Nonsense.  There's  no  more  bank- 
breaking  now  anywhere. 

CULP.  Overtly — it  is  unnecessary.  It's  done  on  paper 
now  everywhere,  and  it  is  sanctioned  by  custom.  The 
crooks  on  the  inside  and  the  crooks  on  the  outside  divvy. 
That  is  all  stock  and  bonds  and  notes  are  made  for.  Rob 
bing  the  creators  of  wealth  under  cover  of  our  complex,  in 
direct  financial  system  is  a  regular  practice.  It's  the  prop 
er  thing.  The  rich  even  pretend  to  represent  the  poor  in 
public  office. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Our  rich  man  in  politics  prefers  honor 
to  his  money. 

CULP.  I'll  believe  that  when  only  one  of  them  drops 
his  money  before  going  into  the  fray  and  stands  upon  his 
merits  and  upon  his  own  feet.  Nominal  statesmen,  how 
ever  reverberating,  have  no  terrors  for  me. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Well,  your  managers  agreed  with  me 
that  your  work  required  a  linguist. 

CULP.  You're  wrong  in  your  facts.  Europeans  are  good 
linguists.  They  have  to  be  because  Americans  are  not. 
Conversation  is  like  a  Dutch  treat — each  one  has  to  put  in 
something.  European  merchants  have  to  speak  English  at 
home  or  go  out  of  business.  Americans,  like  the  English, 
are  belligerently  unilingual ! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  It's  a  good  thing  they  are;  it  spreads 
national  influence. 

CULP.    I  know  a  better  plan. 


120  TEE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    What  is  it?  v 

GULP.  Prohibit  the  publication  of  newspapers  in  for 
eign  languages  in  the  United  States  and  make  European 
merchants  speak  English  there.  Why  not  create  a  little 
American  influence  in  the  United  States?  Apply  the  Mon 
roe  Doctrine  for  yourselves! 

SENATOR  MORSE.    Would  that  be  constitutional? 

GULP.  There's  one  thing  makes  me  doubt.  You  see  the 
English  language  is  so  simple  that  American  laws  might  be 
written  so  simply  that  not  only  some  judge,  but  even  all  the 
people,  could  understand  them.  That  might,  of  course,  be 
unconstitutional ! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  The  Constitution  is  written  in  simple 
language. 

GULP.  Who  in  the — United  States — now  could  write 
such  a  document?  What  class  would?  Who  really  under 
stands  it? 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Reading  and  writing  are  universal  in 
the  United  States.  Even  Americans  read  newspapers  in 
foreign  languages.  Everybody,  you  see,  reads  some  news 
paper. 

GULP.  There's  more  criminal  libel  committed  in  the 
United  States  than  in  the  rest  of  the  world,  without  the 
victims  knowing  it.  It  is  no  wonder  you  are  not  xenopho- 
bes.  The  foreigners  do  this  unnoticed.  Yes,  and  conspira 
cy  and  sedition,  violation  of  neutrality,  and  even  treason. 
It  is  the  custom  in  New  York  for  the  poodle-dogs  of  politics 
to  address  their  constituents  in  Yiddish  and  other  constitu 
tional  dialects.  The  great  American  vote  is  the  only  one 
nobody  bids  for !  At  least  two  hierarchies  demand  the  es 
tablishment  of  their  religion  and  the  attempt  is  common 
to  live  under  other  governments  than  that  ordained  by 
the  Constitution.  Why  can't  you  prevent  that? 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Good!  The  police  power!  You  are 
talking  to  me  like  a  Dutch  uncle. 

GULP.  No,  like  an  American  boy !  [Draws  a  newspaper 
clipping  from  a  notebook  in  his  pocket.]  Here's  an  account 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  121 

of  a  baseball  game  in  Cuba,  between  the  Giants  and  the  Al- 
mendares.  There  are  nine  American  words  to  one  of  Span 
ish,  and  there's  not  an  English  word  in  it.  The  difference 
in  language  is  what  keeps  people  apart.  People  never  want 
to  fight  with  those  in  whose  language  they  couch  their  in 
nermost  thought.  Why  leave  it  to  England  to  spread  the 
great  language  of  peace  and  commerce!  You'd  better 
abandon  warship  diplomacy  and  dollar  diplomacy  for 
baseball  diplomacy.  Talk  about  horse-racing — that's  the 
sport  of  kings — or  pony  polo,  that's  the  rich  man's  game— 
or  golf,  that's  the  old  man's  game — but  baseball,  that's 
the  true  sport  of  democracy,  the  game  for  everybody,  old 
and  young,  rich  and  poor  alike.  Syndicate  international 
baseball,  spread  the  spirit  of  fair  play,  and  save  the  world 
the  cost  of  armament.  Imagine  trying  to  raise  armies 
during  a  real  World's  Championship  series.  Why,  I've 
Been  batteries ! 

SENATOR  MORSE.    You  certainly  speak  English  well. 

CULP.  I  had  just  the  right  training — shorthand,  print 
ing,  journalism,  telegraphy,  and  Dutch.  I  think  in  English. 
That  is  one  of  the  things  in  life  worth  doing  well.  It  is  the 
one  untranslatable  language,  and  the  only  one  in  which  a 
man  can  say  just  what  he  thinks.  And  I  believe  people  who 
don't  speak  English  well,  don't  think  well.  My  native 
Dutch  is  the  nearest  of  all  the  other  dialects  to  English. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  You  are  less  provincial  than  moat 
native  Americans. 

CULP.  With  Emerson,  "I  like  to  be  beholden  to  the 
great  metropolitan  English  speech,  the  sea  which  receives 
tributaries  from  every  region  under  heaven." 

SENATOR  MORSE.  And,  I  sometimes  think,  from  Heaven 
itself. 

CULP.  There's  a  promise  in  it  of  eliminating  the  great 
est  waste  in  the  world — the  source  of  which  was  Babel. 
And  if  that  promise  is  not  kept,  the  masterful  energy  of 
the  stock  that  speaks  the  language  will  be  overcome  by 
the  greater  energy  of  a  stock  bent  upon  suppressing  it  and 


122  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

supplanting  the  elastic  speech  that  expands  with  the 
human  intellect  by  another  and  inferior  one.  All  great 
struggles  are  wars  for  speech. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  That's  the  boy.  Continue  working. 
[GULP  recognizes  the  well-known  baseball  coaching  speech 
and  laughs  at  the  grotesque  effort  of  translating  it  from 
the  "language  of  the  tribe"  to  the  correct  English  of  the 
SENATOR.]  Corne  back  to  the  United  States  with  me  and 
I'll  get  you  a  consular  post;  then  you  can  try  out  your 
ideas.  But  how  about  my  cables? 

GULP.    What  code  do  you  use? 

SENATOR  MORSE.  I've  got  a  new  one  here.  I  don't  un 
derstand  it  very  well,  and  between  you  and  me,  I  haven't 
much  confidence  in  my  assistants.  Mr.  Culp,  junket  is  our 
favorite  American  dish.  They  are  off  sight-seeing  now — • 
visiting  "The  House  in  the  Woods,"  and  inspecting  the 
"Hall  of  Knights" — working  up  the  history  of  past  peace 
conferences  instead  of  attending  to  the  business  of  this 
case — the  usual  training  for  visionless  statesmen.  When 
it  comes  to  real  work,  they  get  school-bell  fever. 

CULP.  [Looking  about.]  They'd  find  the  interior  dec 
orations  here  interesting.  Each  nation  has  contributed 
something. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  They  are  specialists  in  interior  deco 
rations.  They  have  the  finest  international  collection  in 
The  Hague.  They  are  carrying  it  with  them. 

CULP.  [Laughing.]  War  decorations  are  excluded 
here.  Why  is  it  that  in  America  every  public  mission  is 
regarded  as  a  junket  and  every  public  duty  as  a  debauch? 
I  am  disappointed.  We  expected  American  spirit  would 
temper  the  mortar  for  this  new  structure.  Under  the  in 
fluence  of  the  other  spirits  it  hasn't  set. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Just  show  me  how  America  can  help. 
I'm  strange  here.  If  this  thing  needs  setting,  I  want  to 
do  my  part. 

CULP.    Will  you  trust  me? 

SENATOR  MORSE.    I  think  I  can. 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  123 

GULP.  Let  me  see  your  code.  [SENATOR  MORSE  hands 
GULP  a  book.]  I'll  take  your  messages  personally  and  turn 
them  into  cipher  and  111  decode  the  ones  I  receive.  [Look 
ing  at  the  code  book.]  It's  the  "Green"  American — known 
in  every  court  in  Europe — as  well  as  if  you  should  adopt 
as  secret  the  Morse  code  and  call  it  your  own.  You'll  need 
help.  I'll  help  you. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  I'll  appreciate  that.  It  will  relieve 
my  mind  a  whole  lot.  I  don't  mind  confessing  I  felt  sort  of 
helpless,  a  sort  of  boss  and  office  boy  combined,  without 
capacity  for  the  work  of  either. 

GULP.    You'll  get  on  all  right. 

[Enter  MARY.] 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Well,  by  Jove,  Mary!  [GULP  goes 
into  office  and  receives.  He  assumes  a  growing  attitude 
of  elation  as  the  message  comes  out.]  Where  did  you  come 
from? 

MARY.  From  St.  Petersburg.  Do  you  suppose  I'd  let 
you  remain  alone  in  Europe? 

SENATOR  MORSE.  How  did  you  get  away? 

MARY.  I  broke  my  contract  with  Wolf.  The  German 
beast !  He  wanted  to  eat  me ! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  You  shouldn't  have  done  that.  /  can't 
blame  him.  You  look  good  enough  to  eat.  You  must  go 
back. 

MARY.  Not  I.  Not  until  this  Tribunal  adjourns.  I  wish 
to  be  a  diplomat — a  sort  of  attachee.  Can  you  find  a  place 
for  me? 

SENATOR  MORSE.    What  could  a  girl  like  you  do? 

[GULP  comes  out  and  hands  SENATOR  MORSE  a  cable 
gram.] 

MARY.  Indeed!  Well—  [Looking  at  GULP.]  I  could 
Bee  that  this  foreigner  gets  your  cables  straight  and  I  could 
keep  my  eyes  and  ears  open.  I'll  tell  you,  make  me  your 
secretary. 


124  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    You  don't  mean  that? 

MARY.  Of  course  I  do.  I — I — think  and  dream — in 
eyerj  important  European  language.  You  can't  get  a  more 
capable  employee.  Am  I  engaged? 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Yes — for  the  theatre  tonight — there's 
a  party.  The  play — [SENATOR  MORSE  draws  a  card  from 
his  vest  pocket.]  "Op  Hoop  van  Zegen."  /  speak  no  lan 
guage  by  my  own ! — Thank  Heaven ! — But  what  does  that 
mean? 

[SENATOR  MORSE  hands  the  card  to  MARY.] 

MARY.  H'm!  The  Royal  Opera  House!  The  play  ia 
fourteen  years  old.  "The  Good  Hope,"  by  Hermann  Hei- 
jermans,  the  last  of  the  "Naturalists." 

SENATOR  MORSE.    In  Dutch !    Tell  me  what  it's  about. 

MARY.  It's  the  name  of  a  ship.  The  capitalist  ship 
owners  in  a  Dutch  village  send  the  fishermen  out  in  a  leaky 
trawler.  The  ship  is  wrecked,  all  are  lost,  but  the  owners' 
insurance  is  saved. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    A  bitter  plot ! 

MARY.  Kind  of  symbolic  of  our  "Ship  of  State,"  isn't 
it?  And  their  lovely  Queen  chose  this  play  and  is  to  be 
present  with  her  King  Consort!  Our  "dynasts"  would 
keep  it  off  their  stage.  It  might  put  some  soul  into  their 
cattle. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    You  little  revolutionist ! 

MARY.    Am  I  engaged? 

SENATOR  MORSE.  You  are.  Report  to  me  at  the  Oude 
Doelen  for  dinner — we'll  have  some  Hutspot  and  Gouda 
Kaas. 

MARY.    But  I  wish  work. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Well,  I'll  turn  you  over  to  Gulp.  Mr. 
Gulp,  this  is  my  secretary,  Miss  Flint.  Just  explain  this 
cable  business  to  her. 

[GULP  nods  to  SENATOR  MORSE.     MARY  turns  to 
GULP.] 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  125 

MARY.  Ja!  Meneer! 

SENATOR  MORSE.    Oh,  Mr.  Gulp  speaks  English. 

GULP.    Yes,  sir.    Glad  to  know  you. 

MARY.    The  same  to  you,  Mr. 

GULP.    Gulp — Hugo  Gulp — Hugo  De  Groot  Gulp. 
MARY.    Glad  to  meet  you,  Mr.  Gulp. 
GULP.    Will  you  step  into  my  office?  Juffrow!   Freule! 
MARY.  Thank  you.  Meneer!  Met  plezier! 

[MARY  and  GULP  go  out  by  door  leading  out  of  the 
telegraph  office.  MARY  holds  door  ajar.  The 
door  opens  up  stage,  so  that  the  opening  may  be 
observed  by  the  audience.  At  appropriate  mo 
ments  MARY  opens  the  door,  shows  herself  to 
SENATOR  MORSE  and  gesticulates.  At  such  mo 
ments,  the  person  talking  with  SENATOR  MORSE 
has  his  back  turned  to  the  door.] 

SENATOR  MORSE.  [Reading  the  cablegram.  He  appears 
to  have  difficulty  in  deciphering  the  handwriting,  and  calls 
to  GULP,  who  comes  out  to  listen  to  the  cable  as  it  is  read.] 

"WASHINGTON,  D.  C.,  June  28, 1914. 
"Hon.  John  Morse,  Palace  of  Peace, 

The  Hague,  Holland. 

"Opinion  here  sharply  divided.  Movement  of 
disinterested  citizens  favoring  withdrawal  Amer 
ican  claim  has  grown  tremendously.  Interests  are 
working  to  make  Pacific  preference  appear  patri 
otic,  but  real  goal  is  seizure  of  Mexico  and  Canada 
and  war  with  England.  Make  it  plain  to  the 
world  for  your  own  sake  and  for  the  sake  of  Amer 
ican  honor  and  the  real  interests  of  our  country, 
that  you  place  your  case  upon  the  highest  grounds 
of  international  justice  and  on  those  grounds 
alone — even  if  you  lose.  American  commerce 
must  serve  peace  and  humanity. 

"RUSSELL  TURNER." 


126  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

CULP.    That's  an  American  note,  isn't  it? 
SENATOR  MORSE.  As  soon  as  Bullard  sailed ! 

[Enter  BULLARD.  SENATOR  MORSE  thrusts  the  cable 
gram  into  his  pocket  and  nods  to  GULP,  who  goet 
into  the  telegraph  office.] 

SENATOR  MORSE.    Thank  you,  Mr.  Gulp. 

BULLARD.  How  are  you,  Senator?  I  see  we  Ameri 
cans  are  first  on  the  scene  as  usual. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  You're  evidently  determined  not  to 
miss  anything.  I'll  bet  you  drank  coffee  and  lay  awake  all 
night  planning  to  run  this  Tribunal. 

BULLARD.  I  knew  a  poet  once  who  used  to  eat  peanuti 
before  he  went  to  bed  at  night  and,  as  a  result,  couldn't 
sleep.  That's  what  made  him  a  poet. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    But  you  are  not  a  peanut  politician. 

BULLARD.  No.  But  this  case  is  a  hard  one  to  digest. 
I  wet  it  down  .with  Schiedam  Schnaaps,  with  three  mem 
bers,  in  repeated  succession,  flitting,  like  a  busy  flirt,  to 
keep  each  young  man  unconscious  of  the  others. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  How  do  you  get  on  talking  with  these 
foreigners? 

BULLARD.    There's  a  universal  language. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    Money? 

BULLARD.  Well,  drink  loosens  the  tongue.  At  first 
the  conversation  was  rather  formal.  My  guests  were  re 
specting  themselves.  Little  by  little — under  the  influence 
of  the  respective  patriotic  libations — of  the  exalting 
absinthe,  the  duller  beer,  and — not  vodka  but  champagne 
— the  speech  loosened;  it  lost  exactitude.  Words  were 
made  to  do  double  duty.  Then  pronunciation  stumbled 
and  fell  apart.  The  spoken  words  were  deformed,  slurred 
over,  maltreated.  The  next  loss  was  in  intonation — as 
though  the  speaking  voice  were  getting  out  of  control. 
And,  at  last,  the  conversation  became  purely  automatic — 
a  sort  of  emotional  repetition  of  stock  phrases  and  slang 
locutions,  the  mere  parrot  utterance  of  ready-made  word- 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  127 

combinations  that  required  little  more  than  muscular  effort 
— and  of  these  such  an  increasing  proportion  was  in  the 
native  tongue  of  each  that  I  finally  had  to  give  them  up 
and  put  them  to  bed.  [Derisively.]  And  they  are  all 
Bismarck's  "two  bottle"  men ! 

SENATOR  MORSE.    You  seem  perfectly  sober. 

BULLARD.  I  was  bar-tender.  He  drinks  seldom.  He  has 
to  stand  on  his  feet !  Each  of  my  victims,  as  I  received  his 
bedside  assurances,  called  me  to  witness  that  no  siren  song 
could  overcome  his  judicial  impartiality.  It  was  very 
ludicrous — the  more  so  because  no  one  else  saw  the  joke — 
[MARY  bites  her  lip] — but  me.  A  siren  song!  There  was 
none  but  mine! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  And  money — you'd  surely  try  that. 

BULLARD.  Well,  money  talks — and  plainly — while  you 
diplomats  consider  speech  was  given  to  man  to  conceal  his 
thoughts ! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  What  was  your  need  of  haste?  We 
merely  organize  today  and  adjourn  until  day  after  tomor 
row.  Tomorrow  another  set  of  judges  organizes  for  the 
American-Japanese  immigration  controversy. 

BULLARD.  That's  it.  I  wish  they  had  held  that  off.  It 
complicates  things. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  The  Yellow  Peril!  So  that's  your 
hurry!  That  warning  serves  as  many  purposes  as  Scrip 
ture! 

BULLARD.  Don't  be  unkind,  Senator.  I  had  to  get  my 
bearings.  As  a  diplomat  I  had  to  have  private  conversa 
tions  and  preliminary  pourparlers.  I  wasn't  at  Algeciras 
for  nothing.  I'm  here  to  protect  the  interests  I  represent. 
You  are  here  to  advance  the  cause  you  represent.  Where's 
the  difference?  A  lawyer  is  a  purchasable  commodity,  too. 
Whoever  loses,  the  lawyers  must  get  theirs.  The  law's 
standing  offer  of  protection  is  the  spider's  lure  to  the  un 
wary  victim. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    But  I  represent  the  American  people. 

BULLARD.    You  represent  a  certain  construction  of  the 


128  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

Hay-Pauncefote  Treaty  and  the  American  people  don't  be 
lieve  in  that  construction.  You  don't  yourself. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  That  Act  was  passed  by  the  American 
Congress  and  signed  by  the  President.  That's  enough  for 
me. 

BULLARD.  That  Act  was  passed  by  my  Senators  and 
Representatives ! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  But  was  signed  by  a  patriotic  Presi 
dent — 

BULLARD.  Against  his  best  judgment,  just  because  he 
couldn't  furnish  a  declaration  against  his  country.  Come, 
Senator,  let's  work  together.  [Sitting  down.}  Let's  sit 
down,  Senator.  We're  working  for  the  same  cause. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  You  mean  that  I'm  working  for  the 
Trusts.  If  I  admitted  that  I'd  be  driven  from  public  life. 

BULLARD.  You're  working  for  victory  before  the  Tri 
bunal.  If  you  don't  get  it,  you'll  be  driven  from  public 
life  and  your  friends  in  the  State  Department  will  go  with 
you! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Now,  Bullard,  I  am  going  to  say  some 
thing  to  you  I  have  refrained  from  saying  during  my  forty 
years  of  public  life.  You  know  all  the  men  who  have  made 
money  directly  or  indirectly  out  of  holding  office  during 
that  time,  and  those  who  bought  their  places,  in  fact,  all 
those  who  hold  honor  in  political  life  by  compromising  it, 
who,  instead  of  showing  courage  and  losing,  have  tried  to 
succeed  by  the  easiest  way 

BULLARD.  Don't  beat  about  the  bush,  Senator.  Call 
them  political  prostitutes!  That  is  plain  and  I'll  under 
stand  it. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Well,  you  know  that  I  am  not  one  of 
them.  And  you  know  I  have  never  acted  as  a  lawyer  in  any 
matter  in  which  the  public  interests  were  involved,  or  by 
which  my  public  action  might  be  influenced. 

BULLARD.  You've  deserved  your  good  name.  I  know 
those  who  bought  their  places  and  those  who  sold  their 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  129 

power.  There  are  all  grades  of  sell-out  men.  You  have  a 
right  to  despise  them  all. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  All  I  lay  claim  to  is  horse  sense.  I 
never  desired  to  be  very  rich,  or  very  powerful,  and  I  don't 
now.  I  have  seen  what  it  costs. 

BULLARD.     Some  of  them  have  paid  dear  for  it. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Now,  I'll  tell  you  of  the  resolve  I  made 
the  night  of  my  first  election.  I  promised  myself  that  if  I 
ever  felt  the  desire  to  stay  in  office  for  my  own  benefit  or 
comfort,  I  should  summon  all  my  resolution  and  get  out. 
I  never  felt  that  desire 

BULLARD.    Until— 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Of  course,  I  admit  that,  now,  being 
an  old  man,  [Sitting  down]  I'd  like  to  die  in  the  harness. 

BULLARD.  I  needn't  tell  you,  Senator,  how  short  a  time 
it  takes  to  complete  a  man's  ruin. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  When  you  interrupted  me,  I  was 
about  to  say  that  the  only  thing  on  earth  of  which  I  can't 
be  deprived  is  my  sense  of  duty. 

BULLARD.  I  know  you  are  a  little  different,  Senator, 
but  you  like  to  be  on  top  as  well  as  anybody. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Now,  see  here,  Bullard,  I'm  here  to 
win  for  the  United  States,  but  I  propose  to  do  it  before  the 
Tribunal,  before  the  judges — and  I  hope  we  shall  not  win 
unless  we  deserve  to  win. 

BULLARD.    You  will  win  all  right.    I've  seen  to  that. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    What ! 

BULLARD.  I've  won  before  the  Tribunal  already — be 
fore  it  has  met.  But  the  form  of  the  decree — that's  impor 
tant.  I'd  like  to  suggest 

SENATOR  MORSE.    You're  joking. 

BULLARD.  No.  The  real  trial  of  but  few  lawsuits  take* 
place  in  open  court — or  real  battles  at  the  seat  of  war. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  This  case  will  be  tried  upon  the  evi 
dence  and  the  principles  of  the  international  law. 

BULLARD.    Made  to  suit 


130  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  This  court  is  to  be  the  expounder  of 
world  law,  to  express  the  international  mind. 

BULLARD.  Formed  by  the  same  influences  which  now 
make  up  the  different  national  minds.  But  they  are  not 
legal  principles — there  are  none  that  are  international — 
there's  only  natural  justice,  but  that  is  never  applied. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    But  diplomacy ! 

BULLARD.  Is  never  so  much  in  evidence  as  when  it  gives 
everybody  in  the  world  just  what  nobody  wants. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  But,  for  inland  waters,  national  con 
trol  is  an  established  principle. 

BULLARD.  If  you  appeal  to  that,  you're  licked.  A  girdle 
about  the  earth  by  water  wasn't  considered  when  that  prin 
ciple  was  adopted.  The  judicial  eye  drags,  has  visual  per 
sistence,  like  a  movie  audience.  Official  justice  is  like  a 
gun — silenced  and  disappearing — fired  from  cover ;  the  vic 
tim  is  dead  before  the  shot  is  seen  or  heard.  Take  advan 
tage  of  that.  Leave  nature  out.  This  Court's  fixed  for  us 
right  now,  but  if  you  bring  out  your  so-called  natural  prin 
ciples,  the  judges  may  not  have  the  nerve  to  decide  with 
you.  That's  just  what  I  want  to  see  you  about.  Don't  be 
original.  It  doesn't  pay. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Well,  that  line  of  argument  won't 
get  you  anything.  There  are  some  rules  too  clear  for  con 
struction.  I  hope  I  will  never  see  the  day  my  country's 
interest  is  placed  above  its  honor. 

BULLARD.  But  you  are  your  country's  lawyer,  and  this 
Court,  if  it  is  a  Court  of  Etiquette,  is  not  a  Court  of  Honor. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  I  wish  you  would  spare  me  from  any 
more  of  this  talk.  These  judges  are  the  most  distinguished 
men  in  Europe.  They're  incapable  of  anything  but  the 
strictest  adherence  to  their  oaths  of  office. 

BULLARD.  Name  them  over.  I'll  tell  you  who  these 
judicial  demigods  are. 

SENATOR  MORSE.     Sir  Eichard  Dexter. 

BULLARD.    [As  if  stumped.]  H'm ! 

SENATOR  MORSE.     [Confidently.]     A  rare  old  Tory,  I 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  131 

suppose !  He's  here  to  fight,  under  cover,  as  is  customary, 
for  the  entrenched  riches  of  his  class? 

BULLARD.  Sh !  Liberal  England  is  very  sensitive  about 
its  international  honor — or,  at  least,  its  reputation. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  [Resting  the  point.}  And  Sir  Rich 
ard? 

BULLARD.  Oh,  I  admit  it.  He's  a  statesman  of  letters, 
but  a  mere  thinking  machine.  The  others  sent  an  agent. 
England  sends  a  judge.  He's  so  just  he  leans  over  back 
ward.  He  would  decide  against  his  own  country. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  He's  a  prophet  of  the  common  law, 
and  he  thinks  it  the  hearthstone  of  every  British  home — 
and  the  basis  of  the  rule  of  law  for  the  federated  free  and 
independent  peoples  of  the  world. 

BULLARD.  The  old  gentleman  actually  worships  the 
fetich  called  justice !  He  doesn't  know  that  right  now  the 
shipping  interests  of  Great  Britain  are  facing  a  conflict 
with  the  rest  of  the  world,  and  that  what  his  country  needs 
is  not  judges  but  friends. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    Then  she  deserves  friends. 

BULLARD.  He'll  be  against  us,  on  the  merits,  and  he'll 
take  our  own  man,  Wells,  with  him ! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Then  Sir  Richard  gets  friends. 

BULLARD.  Well,  he's  a  queer  sort  to  send  after  them. 
He  falls  short, — like  you.  He  needs  three  and  gets  two! 
He  is  not  a  diplomat.  He  has  nothing  to  do  with  Downing 
Street,  and,  I  believe,  scarcely  knows  where  it  is. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  That's  good.  The  separation  of  pow 
ers;  you  see  that's  Anglo-Saxon!  How  about  the  Russian? 

BULLARD.  Americans  in  the  fur  trust  and  the  Alaska 
eeal-fisheries  combine  are  agents  of  the  Russians.  They 
are  a  trustful  race. 

SENATOR  MORSE.     Until  you  scratch  them. 

BULLARD.  Their  policies,  even  in  matters  of  vital  in 
ternational  concern,  are  directed  from  a  certain  embassy 
in  Sergievskaia  Street.  They  even  employ  generals  with 
German  names.  The  Czar's  a  soft  proposition.  His  late 


132  TEE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

uncle,  Edward  the  Seventh,  could  have  told  him  that  once 
a  German,  always  a  spy. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Of  course.  The  White  House  always 
calls  up  the  imperious  politician  on  Massachusetts  Avenue 
near  Fourteenth  Street. 

BULLARD.  Wait  and  see.  It's  nothing  more  nor  less 
than  interlocking  directorates,  is  it? 

SENATOR  MORSE.  If  that  works,  why  not  community  of 
interests  among  the  peoples? 

BULLARD.    Yes!    Why  not?    Next! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Baron  Liebig  von  Speidel,  I  have 
known  personally. 

BULLARD.  Me,  too.  He  represented  Germany  at  Wash 
ington. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  A  charming  man.  He  married  an 
American  wife.  He  was  persona  grat — issima!  -<*. 

BULLARD.  He  married  American  dollars.  That's  the 
German  system  of  conquest  and  annexation. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  He  is  beyond  reproach. 

BULLARD.  An  international  statesman's  most  pressing 
need  is  often  for  expenses  he  doesn't  wish  to  report  at  home. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Often.  But  she  is  in  everything  with 
Mm.  She  follows  his  flag. 

BULLARD.  And  the  whole  connection  with  her.  That's 
the  German  system!  Even  the  brightest  are  its  dupes! 
They  know  the  dollar  has  no  flag ;  it  tries  to  side  not  with 
right  but  with  strength.  It  is  like  the  fat  military  con 
tractor.  It  makes  war  or  peace  for  profit  anywhere  on 
earth  and  has  made  righteous  war  impossible.  The  Kaiser 
appoints  him  a  member  of  this  Court  as  agent  for  the  for 
eign  bankers  for  railroads  and  brewers  who  would  control 
American  shipping,  and  then  the  commerce  and  industry 
of  the  world.  Ninety  per  cent,  of  the  American  coastwise 
ships  that  can  make  profitable  use  of  the  Canal  are  owned 
by  a  railroad  or  a  trust.  They  have  as  much  use  for  this 
Canal  as  for  the  canals  on  Mars ! 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  133 

"The  strongest  castle,  tower,  and  town, 
"The  golden  bullet  beats  it  down." 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Then  it's  free  British  shipping  against 
dynastic  American  railroads. 

BULLARD.  That's  it.  The  reason  the  United  States  is 
asserting  a  right  to  limit  the  use  of  the  Canal  is  not  be 
cause  our  ship  owners  desire  it  as  such,  but  because  the  for 
eign  owners  of  our  railroads  desire  it.  If  they  had  their 
way,  the  Canal  would  be  blown  up  or  filled  up.  So  you  see 
my  method  is  comparatively  harmless. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  If  you  succeed,  the  alimentary  canal 
might  as  well  close  up,  too. 

BULLARD.  They  have  too  much  interest  in  passing  the 
schooner  through — for  irrigation! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Yes,  too  much.  You  have  made  that 
a  political  emblem  and  partisans  pothouse  politicians, 
haven't  you?  Well,  thank  Heaven,  your  methods  are  not 
my  methods. 

BULLARD.  You  needn't  be  so  grateful.  You  arrive  at 
the  same  end — blindly. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    But  with  a  clear  conscience. 

BULLARD.    Lay  not  that  flattering  unction  to  your  soul. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  You  think  an  act  is  all  right  if  it's 
non-felonious. 

BULLARD.  Men  of  your  sort  make  a  great  virtue  of  what 
is  merely  mental  inertia.  Even  when  conscious  of  what 
you  will,  you  will  the  end  without  willing  the  means.  As  a 
matter  of  fact,  you  often  do  great  harm. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    Give  me  an  instance. 

BULLARD.  Well,  you're  fond  of  Russell  Turner,  aren't 
you? 

[At  the  sound  of  RUSSELL  TURNER'S  name,  MARY 
opens  the  door  wider.  ] 

SENATOR  MORSE.    Very. 

BULLARD.    As  fond  as  I  am? 

SENATOR  MORSE.    That  is  putting  it  mildly. 


134  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

BULLARD.    Indeed ! 

SENATOR  MORSE.    He  is  like  a  son  to  me. 

BULLARD.    You  knew  his  mother,  perhaps? 

SENATOR  MORSE.  I  knew  of  both  his  parents.  The 
mother  was  an  admirable  woman. 

BULLARD.  [Quickly.]  That's  right!  [Quizzically.] 
The  father  didn't  amount  to  much? 

SENATOR  MORSE.  I  have  always  admired  Russell  for 
being  what  he  is  with  such  a  man  for  a  father. 

BULLARD.  [Dubiously.]  That  gives  all  credit  to  the 
boy?  A  fine  stone  in  a  mean  setting!  Eh! 

SENATOR  MORSE.   [Rises;  sees  MARY.]   Yes,  decidedly. 

BULLARD.    And  you  wouldn't  do  him  an  injury? 

SENATOR  MORSE.    Not  for  the  world. 

BULLARD.   [Earnestly;  rising. ]   Well,  you  have. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    In  what  way? 

BULLARD.  [Almost  disclosing  resentment.]  I  was  by 
r/ay  of  making  him  rich.  He  could  have  risen  to  any 
height,  even  to  the  greatest  office  on  earth — the  Presidency. 
[At  a  sign  of  caution,  MARY  disappears.]  The  girls 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Your  kind  will  never  make  any  more 
Presidents.  Persons  must  cease  to  sidetrack  issues. 

BULLARD.  Not  openly,  but  when  you  hear  a  man  howl 
like  a  Progressive,  look  out  for  him.  He'll  be  ours.  And 
we'll  be  paying  him  to  howl !  We  never  really  lose.  Our 
people  never  rise  above  a  moving  picture  intellect.  All 
they  ask  is  that  the  reel  keep  going  and  that  they  be  al 
lowed  to  sit  open-mouthed,  looking  at  the  crass  banalities 
on  the  canvas.  They  think  they  elect  Presidents.  Well, 
Presidents  don't  count  for  much.  They  are  merely  pictures 
in  the  passing  show.  They  fade  in,  go  through  motions,  and 
fade  out.  Audible!  Public  men  are  like  pebbles  thrown 
in  the  water;  they  plunk,  make  ripples,  and  go  down  for 
ever  ;  their  very  lightness  it  is  that  keeps  them  momentarily 
on  the  surface.  From  Presidents  to  politicians,  the  more 
they  change  the  more  they  are  seen  to  be  the  same  thing. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  And  the  machine  goes  on  forever. 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  135 

BULLARD.  Precisely.  We  are  the  water.  [Sitting  down.] 
We  turn  the  wheels,  float  the  ships,  and 

SENATOR  MORSE.    [Sitting  down.]   And  fill  up  canals. 

BULLARD.  [Laughing.]  And  capitalization.  It's  a 
game,  Senator.  It's  an  old  game,  Senator.  But,  it's  a  great 
game.  Every  consciously  respectable  member  of  the  United 
States  Senate  is  engaged  in  a  gigantic  conspiracy,  under 
the  polite  name  of  "  Senatorial  courtesy,"  to  barter  away 
the  welfare  of  the  American  people  to  private  interests  in 
return  for  political  support.  No  man  in  public  office  owes 
any  duty  to  the  public.  He's  groomed  by  special  interests 
for  the  race.  They  dope  him  like  an  ambitious  trainer,  and 
when  they  are  through  with  him,  or  he  ceases  to  be  sub 
missive,  turn  him  out  to  grass.  They  nurse  him  just  like 
Lascort  does  a  star.  Now,  what  have  you  actually  done 
for  Kussell? 

SENATOR  MORSE.  He's  Counselor  for  the  Department 
of  State.  /  got  that  for  him. 

BULLARD.  Assume  that  you  did — and  that  it  was  you 
who  convinced  those  Senators  to  withdraw  their  opposi 
tion — and  that  it  was  you  who  induced  Merwin  to  let  him 
live — what  kind  of  a  living  is  it,  at  best? 

SENATOR  MORSE.  It's  pretty  good  for  a  man  of  his  age. 
He's  Acting  Secretary  of  State  in  the  absence  of  the  Secre 
tary.  He's  at  least  doing  honest  work. 

BULLARD.  Why,  he's  doing  my  work,  "Dollar  Diplo 
macy,"  and  he's  starving  on  the  job.  The  worst  pangs  are 
those  of  poverty,  and  the  boy  is  feeling  them. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    It's  a  stepping-stone. 

BULLARD.  It's  the  skids.  A  gentleman  who  goes  about 
with  the  top  button  of  his  waistcoat  missing  might  as  well 
cut  his  throat.  No  young  man  can  get  up  except  as  a  part 
of  the  system.  That's  why  I  went  into  it  myself.  To  at 
tempt  to  rise  without  money  is  like  trying  to  lift  yourself 
by  your  own  bootstraps.  The  only  stepping-stones  are  the 
shoulders  of  the  rich.  Honesty  is  praised  but  starves. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    Perhaps,  some  day,  even  you  will  see 


136  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

they  are  slimy.  Russell  is  doing  his  simple  duty.  That 
raises  any  man  higher  than  President  or  King. 

BULLARD.  He's  violating  the  most  sacred  duty.  A 
man  of  his  powers  owes  it  to  himself  and  those  dependent 
upon  him  to  keep  free  from  want. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    His  wants  are  simple. 

BULLARD.  People  who  are  literary  and  musical  and 
artistic  are  unreliable.  It's  inborn,  I  suppose,  in  boys  who 
take  after  their  mothers. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  A  reversal  for  Judge  Shakespeare! 
How  do  you  prove  it  by  Russell  ? 

[BULLARD  looks  at  SENATOR  MORSE  as  if  to  discern 
how  much  he  means  by  the  question.  He  hazards 
an  answer  only  when  satisfied  that  the  question  is 
innocent.  Mary  appears  in  the  doorway.] 

BULLARD.  Well — he  should  have  mortgaged  his  eternal 
life  to  sweeten  the  last  days  of  the  mother  of  those  girls. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Money  wouldn't  do  that.  The  boy 
made  tremendous  sacrifices  for  years  to  spare  her  sorrow. 

BULLARD.  [Shrugging  his  shoulders.]  He's  weak.  He 
won't  stand  up,  Senator  Morse. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Let  me  tell  you  something,  Bullard. 
When  Russell  had  been  married  four  years,  the  whole  thing 
went  wrong.  The  girl's  health,  was  gone,  she  found  out 
there  was  no  love  between  them,  and,  to  top  it  all,  she  con 
fessed  the  reason — that  a  former  secret  marriage,  contract 
ed  while  she  was  supposed  to  be  studying  at  a  fashionable 
school,  which  she  had  concealed  from  him,  believing  it  to 
have  been  a  joke,  had  been  discovered  to  be  valid.  As  usual, 
the  first,  foolish  love  survived,  and  a  worthless  waster 
haunted  her  like  a  ghost.  That's  one  of  the  many  cases  there 
is  no  law  to  cover.  Such  cases  call  for  manhood,  and  when 
it  responds,  they  eat  it  right  up  without  stint  or  pity. 
The  man  pays!  Now,  what  would  you  do  in  such  a 
dilemma? 

BULLARD.     Good  God!     [BULLARD  pauses,  surprised 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  137 

into  thought,  then  finds  a  way  to  continue  the  conversa 
tion.]  Don't  /  know!  But  why  should  the  boy  have  to 
pay?  [MARY  shows  tense  emotion.]  He  was  innocent. 
1  SENATOR  MORSE.  Well,  he  not  only  kept  her  secret,  and 
took  the  consequences  upon  himself,  but  he  made  her  be 
lieve  that  the  escapade  had  not  bound  her  after  all.  And 
he  made  her  happy ;  from  wishing  to  die,  he  made  her  wish 
to  live.  And  when  she  did  die,  it  was  in  the  belief,  without 
the  thought  that  he  was  hers,  that  no  better  man  had  ever 
lived.  Poor  girl !  A  whole  people  has  been  ruined  by  a 
glittering  personality !  Some  men  make  vice  a  poem ! 

BULLARD.  I  knew  there  was  something.  But  Russell 
has  been  inscrutable — an  enigma.  How  long  does  such 
retribution  continue?  Can't  a  father's  reform  save  a  child? 

SENATOR  MORSE.  He  is  keeping  up  his  attitude  out  of 
respect No  attainder  should  strike  a  child — ever! 

BULLARD.  [Gloomily.]  Some  men  inherit  incapacity 
to  master  the  woman  question.  No  man  ever  made  a  suc 
cess  of  life  who  lost  the  right  girl.  "And  the  gold  years  of 
a  man's  life  will  be  brass  in  his  mouth" — thanks  to  that. 
Nor  any  woman  who  lost  the  right  man. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  [Encouragingly.]  No  man  ever  made 
a  success  of  his  life  who  either  married  the  wrong  woman 
or  who  was  the  wrong  man — nor  any  woman  who  was  the 
wrong  woman  or  married  the  wrong  man. 

BULLARD.    But  Russell  wasn't  really  married. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    It  is  not  Kussell  who  has  failed. 

BULLARD.    My  parents  didn't  exactly  hitch. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Unrequited  love  is  sometimes  refined 
and  made  the  pure  gold  of  a  greater  love  in  a  "man  of  sor 
rows" — like  Lincoln !  Eussell  may  yet  go  far ! 

BULLARD.  And  Russell  might  have  made  a  good  match 
in  Washington  these  two  years.  [SENATOR  MORSE  pauses, 
squares  off,  loolcs  BULLARD  through  and  through,  and  de 
cides  to  let  the  suggestion  pass.  BULLARD  takes  note  and 
continues.]  He  may  yet.  You  have  a  daughter,  Senator. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    The  only  woman  has  avoided  him. 


138  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

BULLARD.  That's  a  good  thing.  She's  a  singer.  His 
girls  should  have  a  mothers  care. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  [As  a  taunt.]  Haven't  you  expected 
that  Chance  would  sweep  this  singer  off  her  feet.  He  has 
more  money  than  his  father  iiad.  He  is  the  son  of  the 

typhoon.     And  he  has  pursued 

[ BULLARD  betrays  by  his  attitude  his  enjoyment  of 
the  fact  that  the  SENATOR  understands  figurative 
ly  what  he  asserts  as  a  literal  truth.] 

BULLARD.  I  have  observed  the  pursuit,  but  there  is  no 
Chance.  Victor  is  not  a  son  of  the  wind.  Russell  is  safe 
from  competition  from  that  source. 

[SENATOR  MORSE  continues  in  evident  innocence  of 
BULLARD'S  meaning.] 

SENATOR  MORSE.  I  don't  understand  why  he  hasn't 
married.  He  seems  content  just  to  hope  and  wait.  He's 
the  quietest  and  the  most  useful  man  in  Washington. 

BULLARD.  Well,  if  the  world's  balance  could  be  struck, 
I'd  bet  silence  has  done  more  good  than  speech.  When  a 
thing's  said,  the  bolt  is  shot.  It's  the  fear  it  will  be  that 
hurts.  We  fear  everything  that's  before  us;  actualities, 
we  sense  dully  while  anticipating  something  else;  what  is 
past  we  impatiently  remember.  [Rambling.]  That  is  the 
real  harm  of  the  possibility  of  war.  It  is,  in  the  long  run, 
as  harmful  to  hear  "war"  from  the  mouths  of  men  as  from 
the  mouths  of  cannon. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  At  times,  his  silence  is  almost  su 
perhuman.  He's  solving  a  big  problem,  I'll  warrant. 

BULLARD.  Not  for  himself,  I'll  bet.  He  lacks  the  in 
stinct,  A  great  idea  that  profits  nothing  while  incubating ! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Acclaimed  mediocrity  is  never  sweeter 
than  obscure  greatness  to  those  who  have  the  choice. 

BULLARD.  Let's  work  together,  Senator.  [Mary  reels 
back.]  I  am  not  a  bad  sort,  even  if  I  do  use  practical 
means.  It'll  be  all  right. 

[SENATOR  MORSE  appears  not  to  have  heard;  rises.] 

SENATOR  MORSE.    If  I  believed  what  you  say  about  this 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  139 

Tribunal,  I'd  forget  the  consequences  to  myself — and  my 
friends.  I'd  call  the  whole  thing  off,  if  I  could,  and  go 
home. 

BULLAED.    What  would  they  think  of  us  at  home ! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  The  ones  I  have  to  face  at  home  are 
Mrs.  Morse  and  our  daughter.  They  are  the  only  people  in 
this  world  whose  condemnation  I  fear.  And,  I  guess,  time 
would  justify  me  with  the  others.  There  is  no  crime 
against  our  country  so  wicked  as  the  crime  of  conducting 
our  international  relations  with  a  view  to  party  popularity. 
He  who  has  charge  of  our  foreign  affairs  must  deal  with 
them  regardless  of  the  effect  upon  his  political  future  or 
his  party's  advantage,  or  he  cannot  deal  with  them  as 
national  independence  and  public  safety  demand.  The 
man  who  is  considering  his  political  future  and  his  party's 
advantage  should  keep  out  of  foreign  relations.  These  two 
cannot  co-exist.  But  we  are  talking  nonsense.  Why, 
there's  Ledoux,  he's  the  finest  gentleman  I  ever  met. 

BULLARD.  If  he  were,  only  a  war  could  keep  him  in 
French  politics.  That  has  been  demonstrated. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    Why  don't  I  see  these  things? 

BULLARD.  You  study  the  law.  I  study  the  judge.  I  have 
figured  on  Sir  Richard  and  our  own  Mr.  Wells — two  out 
or  five — being  against  us. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    I've  never  had  the  slightest  evidence. 

BULLARD.  You  discourage  it.  A  man  shows  a  differ 
ent  character  to  every  man  he  meets.  The  Roman  grafters 
never  gave  their  confidence  to  Cato.  Sit  down,  Senator. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  [Sees  Mary  open  door;  sits  down.] 
Dishonest  minds  can  never  share  in  patriotic  impulses. 

BULLARD.  They  can  pretend  to,  and  do.  I  must  re 
mind  you  that  the  language  and  attitude  of  diplomatists 
and  politicians  are  regulated  by  circumstances.  Lead  these 
men  on.  I've  told  them  you  are  with  us.  A  man  always 
gives  his  confidence  to  somebody  so  as  to  shift  the  burden 
from  his  own  conscience.  Later  they'll  ask  you  to  help 


140  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

them  with  their  decree.  But  please  don't  argue  with  them 
now.  Just  talk  to  them  about  themselves ;  that  gets  people 
quickest.  I've  taken  each  separately  and  no  one  of  them 
knows  about  the  other — nor  the  whole  truth  about  himself, 
for  that  matter.  They  are  sort  of  in  the  honeymoon  period 
of  their  acquaintance  and  haven't  yet  asked  serious  ques 
tions.  Like  most  of  our  best  citizens,  they  are  crooked  and 
don't  know  it. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    What  do  you  mean? 

BULLARD.  Well,  to  be  candid,  Senator,  I've  done  what 
is  always  done  by  those  who  get  advance  knowledge  of  im 
portant  decisions.  I've  put  up  every  cent  I  have  for  a  ten 
point  margin  to  carry  American  railroad  stocks.  After 
this  week  I'll  work  no  more.  These  fellows  will  have  to 
find  another  "Man  Friday,"  and  if  we  get  that  decree  in 
proper  form,  I'll  have  enough  to  stand  up  as  a  money  power 
myself.  I've  handed  out  as  servant  hard  knocks  to  the  men 
of  independence.  But  I'm  going  to  be  a  real  master  now. 
Do  you  suppose  I  have  gone  against  my  true  character,  my 
traditions,  training,  and  bringing  up  all  these  years,  for 
any  other  reason  than  vengeance  or  for  any  other  purpose 
than  to  realize  them  in  a  bigger  way  through  victory  over 
the  power  that  turned  me  aside.  You  know  my  story, 
SENATOR, — at  least  as  much  as  anybody  knows.  Chance 
did  for  me  before  I  had  begun  to  live.  I  took 
a  vow — well — I  did  as  much  to  him  as  I  could  before 
fate — or  his  character — the  wastrel ! — took  him  off.  And 
now  I've  made  my  people  option  all  that  boy's  railroad 
holdings  on  a  tip  to  him  that  the  finding  here  would  be 
adverse  and  send  them  down  and  that  the  moment  would  be 
opportune  to  put  everything  into  real  estate  at  the  prevail 
ing  low  prices.  That  argument  got  him — you'd  think  some 
people  hadn't  enough  realty  already — they  want  to  own  the 
earth.  And,  besides  that,  he  has  sold  enough  short  to 
break  him  if  there's  a  big  jump  upward.  If  I  succeed,  the 
real  estate  he  has  now  will  just  about  meet  the  deficiency 
to  the  brokers  and  the  hoard  that  did  for  me  will  exist  no 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  141 

longer  but  Will  be  SO  distributed  that  it  will  do  no  more 
harm.  I'll  have  soine  of  it,  [grimly]  and  I'll  have  my 
revenge.  And,  by  God,  I'm  going  to  do  some  good,  too. 
I'll  put  Kussell  up  where  he  belongs !  And  the  girls,  too. 
Money,  first ;  then  honors  will  come  easily. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  What  has  that  to  do  with  these 
judges? 

BULLARD.  Oh !  Three  of  them  have  some  of  the  stock- 
carried  for  them — they  don't  see  the  connection — but  they 
expect  a  fifty  point  profit — and  they  take  that  as  a  measure 
of  their  service  to  commercial  prosperity.  Why  not !  We 
sold  Europe  the  stocks  and  bonds  of  our  railroads  and 
Europe  owns  them.  Merwin  represents  them  and  Ameri 
can  railroads  belong  to  his  clients. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    That  is  financial  feudalism. 

BULLARD.  That,  my  dear  Senator,  is  the  true  meaning 
of  the  financial  oligarchy  in  the  United  States. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  It's  political  oligarchy !  Foreign, 
too !  Taxation  without  representation ! 

BULLARD.  Sure !  When  money  talks,  there  are  always 
fascinated  listeners! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Good  Heavens!  Only  government 
ownership  left!  "Blocks  of  Five,"  over  and  over  again! 

BULLARD.  Why,  our  financial  leaders  are  loaded  to  the 
gunwales  for  this  stroke !  That's  why  they're  compelled  to 
safeguard  the  decree.  If  the  water  stays  in  that  Canal, 
every  drop  of  water  in  railroad  securities  evaporates. 

[BULLARD  sees  SIR  KICHARD;  MARY  disappears; 
CULP  comes  out  of  the  office  and  stands  at  one  of 
the  telegraph  instruments;  the  PAGE  BOYS,  in 
different  parts  of  the  stage,  look  toward  GULP.] 

SENATOR  MORSE.     [Rising.]    Then  they'll  go  to  smash! 

BULLARD.  [With  sly  confidence,  which  MARY  appears 
just  in  time  to  observe.]  Your  old  friend — Flint — is  in 
deep,  too.  You  would  hardly  desire  to  break  him — and 
destrov  his  daughter's  inheritance! 


142  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  [With  the  utmost  dignity.]  Justice 
leaves  unavoidable  damage  where  it  falls.  [MARY  nods 
approval  to  SENATOR  MORSE  and  disappears.  SIR  RICHARD 
enters.]  Good  morning,  Sir  Kichard! 

SIR  EICHARD.  [In  a  dialect  understandable  without 
great  difficulty  and  very  closely  resembling  but  yet  clearly 
distinguishable,  by  its  tang,  from  the  American  language.] 
Good  morning  Senator.  How  is  the  American  case  this 
morning?  [BULLARD  rises,  deferential.]  Well,  Mr.  Bui- 
lard  ! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  We  have  our  case  well  in  hand,  I 
think. 

SIR  RICHARD.  The  case  is  in  good  hands,  I  am  sure.  Ha ! 
Ha!  A  poor  attempt  at  a  joke,  Mr.  Bullard.  Quite  so! 

BULLARD.    Many  a  case  is  well  in  hand  in  bad  hands. 

SIR  RICHARD.  [Raising  his  voice  with  the  righteous 
bluster  of  the  Briton  who  knows  he  is  right.]  There  are  no 
bad  hands  here,  however.  The  eyes  of  the  world  [MARY 
reappears  at  the  door;  GULP  looks  up  from  his  instrument; 
the  PAGE  BOYS  turn  to  stare  at  SIR  RICHARD]  are  upon  us. 
Justice  will  be  done,  though  the  Heavens  fall.  [MARY 
evinces  elation.  SIR  RICHARD  smacks  his  lips  upon  his 
words.]  Quite  so!  Injustice  is  always  a  boomerang!  In 
England,  Mr.  Bullard,  a  Parliamentary  Agent  would  never 
think  of  extending  his  activities  to  the  Law  Courts.  Our 
judgment  here  is  on  the  knees  of  the  Gods ! 

[ BULLARD  opens  his  mouth  as  if  to  speak  but,  half- 
closing  his  mouth,  looks  at  SIR  RICHARD,  blandly 
at  first,  then  quizzically,  then  as  if  restraining, 
under  the  influence  of  the  gaze  of  SENATOR  MORSE, 
an  incipient  grin.  The  great  bell  in  the  tower  of 
the  Palace  of  Peace  strikes  once  for  the  half 
hour.] 

CURTAIN. 


ACT  IV. 


ACT    IV. 

The  curtain  rises  upon  the  situation  upon  which  it  de 
scended.  As  the  act  proceeds,  spectators  come  in  and 
pass  quietly  into  the  Court  Room.  As  each  comes  in, 
MARY  steps  back  quickly  and  closes  the  door,  reappear 
ing  again  at  once. 

BULLARD.  The  majority  of  judges  translate  that  "Jus 
tice  will  be  done,  when  [The  elation  of  MARY  fades]  the 
heavens  fall,"  Sir  Richard — or  an  angel  intervenes! 

[GULP  and  the  PAGE  BOYS  look  at  MARY.  The  elation 
reappears.  The  PAGE  BOYS,  at  a  signal  from  GULP, 
disperse.] 

SIR  RICHARD.  Bad  law  and  bad  Latin.  By  the  way, 
this  is  a  wonderfnl  monument  to  civilization.  A  Perma 
nent  Court  of  Arbitration,  with  duly  appointed  delegates 
from  all  nations!  It  has  concentrated  the  conscience  and 
intellect  of  the  world  upon  the  substitution  of  law  for  war, 
and  the  hope  of  ridding  mankind  of  the  strangling  incubus 
of  standing  armies.  [CuLP  crosses  to  Court  Room  unob 
served.]  Why,  truly,  this  should  be  the  judgment  of  the 
Gods! 

SENATOR  MORSE.    And  a  shelter  against  their  wrath! 

BULLARD.    It  hasn't  accomplished  much  up  to  date. 

SIR  RICHARD.  Quite  so!  We  meet  in  a  little  country 
kept  in  peace  with  warlike  nations  all  about. 

BULLARD.  Holland  is  their  door  and  window.  War  la 
still  the  king  of  international  sports. 

SIR  RICHARD.  That's  because  we  still  allow  sordid  con 
siderations  to  rule  us.  The  chief  cause  of  war  is  bond  is 
sues  and  the  chief  cause  of  bond  issues  is  war.  Too  many 
people  have  gold  to  lend  to  the  worst  of  enterprises,  while 
the  worthiest  go  begging.  War  debts  are  the  eternal 
heritage  of  the  unborn.  The  real  God  of  War  is  the  fiend 
with  one  virtue  and  a  thousand  vices  who  stands  astride  the 


146  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

world  and  says:  "Money — that's  me — and  the  world  is 
mine !" 

BULLAED.  "A  power  which  has  dotted  over  the  surface 
of  the  whole  globe  with  her  possessions  and  military  posts ; 
whose  morning  drumbeat,  following  the  sun  and  keeping 
company  with  the  hours,  circles  the  earth  daily  with  one 
continuous  and  unbroken  strain  of  the  martial  airs  of 
England." 

SIR  RICHARD.  Those  are  outposts  of  civilization  and  the 
drumbeat  was  on  the  ships  of  the  British  Navy  built  to 
keep  the  peace  of  the  seas.  England's  fleet  has  been  pro 
tecting  American  commerce  for  fifty  years  and  Great 
Britain  would  gladly  have  all  navies  placed  under  inter 
national  control  as  international  police.  The  world  could, 
then,  enforce  disarmament,  abolish  standing  armies,  and 
enthrone  universal  peace.  The  heir  of  the  future  is  now 
made  the  slave  of  the  past.  Mob  and  Money  Power  create 
one  another  and  both  unite  for  war.  The  record  of  Eng 
land,  fairly  considered,  is  a  refutation  of  the  theory  that 
preparedness  for  war  is  the  prime  essential  or  even  an 
essential  of  a  free,  civilized  state. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  The  war  of  the  future  will  be  for  the 
just  distribution  of  the  fruits  of  social  progress. 

SIR  RICHARD.  The  first  skirmish  will  be  the  battle  for 
peace — the  irreducible  minimum  of  war.  The  odious  at 
last  attains  the  supreme  merit  of  making  itself  intolerable 
and  uniting  those  opposed  to  it. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  But  in  this  war  there'll  be  no  trouble 
maker.  The  common  people  of  all  the  world  will  be  ar 
rayed  on  the  same  side.  They'll  be  inspired  by  prudence, 
moderation,  and  restraint,  and  will  assert  conciliatory 
principles. 

BULLARD.  That  won't  happen  until  the  military  estab 
lishments  have  destroyed  one  another  at  Armageddon. 

SIR  RICHARD.  Wherever  more  than  ninety-nine  per 
cent,  are  born  with  a  mortgage  on  them  held  by  less  than 
one  per  cent.,  that  must  happen. 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  147 

BULLARD.    That's  repudiation. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    War  costs  are  not  assumed  willingly ! 

SIR  RICHARD.  Better  have  peace  the  leveller  than  war. 
The  great  deeds  of  war  bring  us  all  down.  The  great  deeds 
of  peace  raise  us  all  up.  There's  a  fate  awaiting  govern 
ments  that  rob  their  own  people.  Selfishness  misleads  us, 
Mr.  Bullard — individuals,  States,  empires — the  world! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  It's  a  more  dangerous  condition  in 
a  free  country,  where  the  millions  who  have  nothing  to 
live  on  have  everything  to  live  for. 

BULLARD.  Hungry  people  only  start  riots ;  revolutions 
take  time  for  organization,  and  funds  and  leisure  to  get 
results.  Only  the  masters  of  railroads  can  make  war. 

SIR  EICHARD.  The  safe  battle  cry  is  already  written  on 
the  scroll  of  the  Palace  of  Peace:  "Vrede  door  Recht  en 
Recht  door  Vrede" — "Peace  through  Justice  and  Justice 
through  Peace."  There  lacks  only:  "Consciousness  the 
Will  informing,  till  it  fashion  all  things  fair." 

BULLARD.  Well,  success  to  it.  The  idea  is  all  right,  if 
only  men  would  carry  it  out.  The  very  greatness  of  the 
peril  should  act  as  a  brake,  but  it  doesn't.  I  am  afraid  the 
Temple  of  Peace  is  built  with  untempered  mortar. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    Bullard  as  the  Prophet  Ezekiel ! 

BULLARD.   I  am  consistent.    Hear  the  Prophet  himself. 

"Therefore,  thus  saith  the  Lord  God :  Because  ye  have 
spoken  vainly,  and  seen  lies,  therefore,  behold  I  am  against 
you,  saith  the  Lord  God.  And  mine  hand  shall  be  against 
the  prophets  that  see  vanity,  and  that  divine  lies ;  they  shall 
not  be  in  the  council  of  my  people — because,  even  because 
they  have  seduced  my  people,  and  when  one  buildeth  up  a 
wall,  behold,  they  daub  it  with  untempered  mortar;  say 
unto  them  which  daub  it  with  untempered  mortar,  that  it 
shall  fall — I  will  even  rend  it  with  a  stormy  wind  in  my 
fury — So  will  I  break  down  the  wall  that  ye  have  daubed 
with  untempered  mortar  and  bring  it  down  to  the  ground, 
so  that  the  foundation  thereof  shall  be  discovered;  and  it 
shall  fall  and  ye  shall  be  consumed  in  the  midst  thereof  2 


148  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

and  ye  shall  know  that  7  am  the  Lord.  Thus  will  I  accom 
plish  my  fury  upon  the  wall,  and  upon  them  that  have 
daubed  it  with  untempered  mortar,  and  I  will  say  unto 
you,  The  wall  is  no  more,  neither  they  that  daubed  it;  to- 
wit,  the  prophets  of  Israel  which  prophesy  concerning 
Jerusalem,  and  which  see  visions  of  peace  for  her,  and 
there  is  no  peace,  saith  the  Lord  God." 

SENATOR  MORSE.    [Rising.]    Bullard  citing  Scripture! 

BULLARD.  However  right,  always  the  Devil !  There's  a 
time  in  life,  Senator,  when  childhood's  lessons  seem  to  us 
to  have  been  the  sweetest  and  deepest  of  all.  [As  if  the 
American  in  him  were  challenged  by  the  Anglo-Saxon  in 
SIR  RICHARD  into  patriotic  self-assertion.]  We  Americans, 
if  we  are  to  deserve  and  preserve  our  institutions,  must 
be  prepared  to  defend  them !  [Dramatically  and  with  per 
ceptible  irony  directed  at  SIR  RICHARD.  During  this 
speech,  MARY  appears  stirred  with  patriotic  fervor,  draws 
out  the  American  flag,  and,  then,  as  if  realising  that  it  is 
only  BULLARD  who  speaks,  thrusts  it  back  in  the  manner 
of  an  indignant  officer  who  noisily  sheathes  his  sword.]  "It 
is  vain,  Sir,  to  extenuate  the  matter.  Gentlemen  may  cry, 
'Peace,  Peace!'  but  there  is  no  peace.  Is  life  so  dear,  or 
peace  so  sweet,  as  to  be  purchased  at  the  price  of  chains 
and  slavery?  Forbid  it,  Almighty  God !  I  know  not  what 
course  others  may  take;  but  as  for  me — GIVE  ME  LIB 
ERTY  OR  GIVE  ME  DEATH!" 

SENATOR  MORSE.  [Not  to  be  outdone  before  SIR  RICHARD 
by  such  as  BULLARD.]  Militarism  and  American  prepared 
ness  cannot  be  hit  by  the  same  stone !  They  are  opposite ! 

BULLARD.  [Taking  the  running  from  SENATOR  MORSE 
and  talking  at  SIR  RICHARD.]  This  is  the  American  posi 
tion  [GULP  crosses  unobserved  into  Telegraph  Office]  that 
with  us  national  military  prowess  is  a  moral  duty. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  The  United  States  is,  moreover,  com 
mitted  not  only  by  the  very  charter  of  its  existence  but 
also  by  every  step  in  its  course  as  a  nation  to  enforce  in  all 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  149 

parts  of  the  world  and  against  all  opposition  the  foreign 
policy,  the  fiscal  program,  the  economic  life,  the  moral 
purpose,  the  humanitarian  precepts,  and  the  principals  of 
international  justice  for  which  the  American  people  stand. 

BULLARD*  [Ratifying.]  Yes,  Sir  Richard.  The  world 
expects,  and  our  people  will  accept,  no  less.  A  proud  na 
tion  must  be  prepared  to  fight  or  not  too  proud  to  fall. 

SIR  RICHARD.  Quite  so !  Quite  so !  Where,  then,  will  the 
mad  rush  for  armament  end? 

SENATOR  MORSE.  [Sitting  down.]  When  America  has 
established  for  the  world  that  right  is  might!  When  the 
peoples  of  the  world  really  have  cause  to  love  America — 
not  for  pretenses  but  for  performance — America  will  no 
longer  need  to  fear  the  invader.  They'll  all  be  disarmed ! 

SIR  RICHARD.  Yes !  Yes !  Quite  so !  There's  a  lesson  in 
it,  for  all.  The  great  national  needs  are  not  hostile,  but 
complementary.  If  one  mill  out  of  every  thousand  dollars 
of  taxation  that  is  spent  on  pensions,  war,  and  preparation 
for  war  were  employed  to  develop  mutual  self-interest 
among  the  nations  upon  the  basis  of  reciprocal  advantage 
in  foreign  trade,  the  day  of  cosmic  solidarity  would  dawn, 
and  inside  of  twenty  years  warships  would  be  a  drug  on 
the  market,  standing  armies  would  be  a  memory,  and  all 
the  armor-plate  would  be  turned  into  plowshares.  If  peo 
ple  don't  learn  to  co-operate,  I  don't  know  what  the  world 
will  come  to.  Good  business  makes  good  friends.  England 
has  long  given  the  example  by  opening  her  ports  every 
where  free  to  all,  even  to  those  whose  abuse  of  the  privilege 
by  unfair  trade  is  notorious.  That  is  a  functional  part  of 
our  policy  of  liberal  conduct  toward  all  men  and  all  na 
tions.  Co-operation  and  reciprocity  are  the  two  greatest 
words  in  the  English — or  any  other  — language !  Markets 
are  the  creative  weapons  of  civilization ;  cannon  are  the 
destructive  tools  of  barbarism.  War!  What  could  be 
worth  it?  Even  the  survivors,  crippled,  mangled,  and  en 
feebled,  conquering  as  well  as  conquered,  thrown  back 


150  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

generations  in  progress  toward  emancipation,  and  the  whole 
world  impoverished!    Everybody  pays  for  every  war! 

BULLARD.  I  guess  you're  right.  If  people  gave  one 
per  cent,  of  the  attention  to  feeding  and  clothing  one  an 
other  that  they  give  now  to  killing  one  another,  it  would  be 
harder  for  our  underwriters  to  raise  a  war  anywhere  on 
earth  than  to  raise  hair  on  a  billiard  ball. 

[ BULLARD  goes  into  Court  Room  with  SIR  RICHARD; 
MR.  SPENCER-PRYCE,  the  British  agent,  and  MR. 
WELLS,  the  American  member,  come  in  together, 
and  pass  into  the  Court  Room.  As  they  cross  the 
stage  their  conversation  is  heard.  During  the 
following,  BULLARD  appears  from  time  to  time 
and  observes  what  is  going  on  in  the  Ante-Cham 
ber.  His  demeanor  makes  it  apparent  to  the  audi 
ence  that  he  is  supervising  the  cumulative  shock 
of  the  disclosures  made  by  the  three  judges  and 
that  their  appearance  in  succession  was  prear 
ranged  by  BULLARD.  Enter  LEDOUX.  He  speaks 
with  a  decided  French  accent  and  without  facil 
ity,  as  one  who  speaks  one  language  while  thinking 
in  another.  MARY  has  furtively  noted  his  en 
trance.] 

LEDOUX.  Good  morning,  my  very  dear  Mr.  Senator. 
SENATOR  MORSE.  Good  morning,  Monsieur  Ledoux.  You 
are  well,  I  hope? 

LEDOUX.  In  one  way,  yes.    But  I  am  a  little  sad. 
SPENCER-PRYCE.    Sir  Richard,  our  own  member,  is  pre 
cisely  the  man  I  have  to  fear.     In  the  Alaska  Boundary 
Case  he  decided  against  the  Dominion  and  in  favor  of  your 
country. 

MR.  WELLS.    Believe  me,  my  country's  only  desire  is  to 
decide  right. 

SPENCER-PRYCE.  I  do  believe  you.  There  is  Sir  Richard. 
SENATOR  MORSE.     [Who  has  suspended  to  acknowledge 
with  LEDOUX  the  nods  of  SPENCER-PRYCE  and  WELLS.]    I 
am  sorry  to  hear  that.    Nothing  wrong,  I  hope? 


TEE  WASTREL  HOARD.  151 

LEDOUX.  It  is  nothing — the  impending  case.  It  leaves 
me — confused.  This  Canal  was  to  be  ours,  was  it  not? 
You  see,  I  take  the  interests  of  your  country  much  to  heart. 
The  historic  souvenirs  which  unite  the  two  Republics 
have  created  imperishable  ties  between  them. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  There  is,  too,  a  natural  sympathy  for 
us  among  Eepublics — our  history,  our  institutions,  and  our 
progress [Sitting  down.]  Pray,  be  seated. 

LEDOUX.  [MARY  peers  out.]  And  especially  your 
women.  [Sitting  down.]  I  find  them  incomparable! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  That  is  a  compliment  always  touches 
us.  We  place  our  women  high  in  the  United  States.  That 
is  why  America  remains  at  peace  with  the  world — and  has 
never  suffered  defeat  in  war. 

LEDOUX.  The  American  woman — the  most  beautiful, 
I  believe,  of  all.  She  has  done  me  the  honor  to  show  me  a 
preference. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Oh!  I  see.  You  are  speaking  of  an 
individual.  You  married  an ? 

LEDOUX.  Of  course,  I  am  married,  but  in  France — well, 
yon  know  we  are  liberal. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    So  I  understand. 

LEDOUX.  The  French  marriage  system  is  immoral  and 
abominable. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  That  plea  for  surrender  to  superior 
charms  is  heard  the  world  over. 

LEDOUX.  You  are  unjust,  my  dear  Senator.  Our  laws 
are  made  for  the  mind,  while  every  Frenchman  is  ruled  by 
the  heart. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  The  more  reason,  perhaps,  for  the 
laws.  Women " 

LEDOUX.     But  our  women  rebel. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  True  American  women,  as  you  will 
find,  believe  that  the  old-fashioned  law  of  marriage  is  the 
origin,  source,  and  cause  of  morality,  that  infraction  of  its 
laws  is  an  abomination,  and  the  origin,  source,  and  cause 
of  all  abominations. 


152  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

LEDOUX.  But  the  American  woman,  with  her  smiling 
skill,  is  so  diplomatic.  I  have  been  completely  won  by 
her — on  this  question.  Young  and  fresh!  La  beaute  du 
diable! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Then  she  has  done  my  work  for  me. 
Many  of  her  sisters  would  have  liked  my  place  before  this 
Tribunal. 

LEDOUX.  But  the  work  of  woman  is  too  subtle.  She 
works  not  in  court,  but  in  courting.  Is  that  well  said? 
Ha  !  Ha !  By  her  we  are  enslaved. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  [Fishing.]  I  have  heard  it  said  that 
American  moneyed  interests  use  women  in  their  foreign 
service.  Is  that  so? 

LEDOUX.  No,  my  dear  Mr.  Senator.  It  is  absurd.  There 
are  no  American  moneyed  interests — only  underwriters  for 
foreign  money. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    The  United  States— 

LEDOUX.  —is  a  debtor  nation,  and  never  lent  a  dollar 
abroad  in  its  history.  It  is  France  which  holds  the  world's 
gold  and  sells  it  to  England  and  to  Germany — even  for  mil 
itary  cash-in-hand — or  to  lend  to  the  rest  of  the  nations. 
You  see  from  that  there  is  nothing  in  the  conduct  of  France 
of  a  nature  to  render  any  one  uneasy  who  himself  has  no 
aggressive  intentions.  The  moneyed  interests  of  France 
do  not  need  an  American  agent  to  see  me. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    But  the  fair  diplomat? 

LEDOUX.  Mademoiselle  has  argued  for  the  common  peo 
ple.  She  makes  light  of  the  struggles  for  peace  through  the 
balance  of  power.  She  cannot  know  the  value  even  of  this 
balance,  what  it  prevents,  and  at  what  cost  it  has  been 
maintained.  Precisely  the  cost — Enfin! — she  ridicules  it! 

SENATOR  MORSE.    Ah! 

LEDOUX.  But  I  cannot  resist  personally  her  flattery. 
When  she  told  me  that  America  makes  men  great,  she 
said  to  me,  [Rising]  "How  great  would  you  not  have  been, 
had  you  been  an  American !" 

SENATOR  MORSE.     [Rising.]     Ah! 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  153 

LEDOUX.  And  I  answer  that  the  rapprochement  of  gov 
ernments  of  different  types  advances  the  popular  type.  See 
what  we  have  done  for  the  Russian  people? 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Loans  to  their  government?  Are  not 
understandings  among  peoples  more  reliable  than  treaties 
and  counter-assurances  of  governments? 

LEDOUX.  You  are  a  student,  Senator,  and  we  are  both 
practical  men.  We  know  that  the  common  people  live  from 
the  store  of  the  guardians  of  wealth. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    Little  brothers  of  the  rich. 

LEDOUX.  Exactly!  The  moneyed  interests  of  France 
made  me,  and  I  serve  mankind  best  as  their  creature.  The 
masters  of  commercial  destiny  caused  to  be  passed  the 
American  law  you  are  defending.  To  that  I  must  bow. 
In  a  question  of  such  gravity,  no  eventuality  should  be  lost 
sight  of.  You  may  count  on  me. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  You  must  not  expect  me  to  express  my 
thanks. 

LEDOUX.    You  have  much  to  do.    I  will  not  disturb  you. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    On  the  contrary. 

LEDOUX.  I  shall  regret  for  the  lady,  but  I  shall  be  for 
ever  proud  by  my  vote  to  have  stood  for  the  advancement 
of  commerce  and  the  prosperity  of  the  world.  With  my 
country  your  Republic  has  always  had  an  entente  cordiale. 
We  have  never  been  unfriendly,  [MARY  disappears.]  and  I 
rejoice  that  we  shall  not  begin  here.  We  arm  for  others! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  I  hope  not — [In  a  different  tone] — for 
your  sake  as  well  as  ours. 

LEDOUX.  Bonne  chance!  Farewell,  until  we  meet  again, 
the  battle  won. 

[LEDOUX  exits  into  Court  Room.  SENATOR  MORSE 
walks  toward  the  Court  Room  door,  lost  in 
thought,  turns  mechanically  to  walk  back,  and 
sees  BARON  LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL  enter.  LIEBIG  VON 
SPEIDEL  speaks  English  with  a  decided  German 
accent,  and  without  facility,  as  one  who  speaks 


154  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

one  language  while  thinking  in  another.  He  is 
brutally  positive  and  cocksure.  His  gestures  re 
tain  the  preciseness  of  a  trained  soldier..  MARY 
hears  him.] 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.  Good  morning,  my  dear  Mr.  Sen 
ator. 

SENATOR  MORSE.     Good  morning,  Baron. 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.  I  hope  for  the  pleasure  to  see  you 
in  United  States  [sic]  very  soon. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    A  government  matter? 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.  No,  a  financial  matter.  [MARY 
risks  being  observed.]  You  see,  when  I  was  Ambassa 
dor 

[  LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL  removes  his  hat  as  if  in  a  sa 
lute,  and  holds  it  in  his  hand  ceremoniously.] 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Don't  remove  your  hat,  Baron. 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.  When  a  German  official  speaks  of 
himself,  always,  out  of  respect  for  the  service,  he  must 
remove  his  hat. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    Pardon  me. 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.  Certainly.  The  custom  is  spread 
ing,  becoming  universal,  out  of  respect  for  All-German 
unity.  [Resuming  the  thread  of  his  speech.]  Also,  when  I 
was  Ambassador,  I  was  called  upon  to  serve  important 
German  financial  interests.  I  resigned  to  become  their 
agent.  That  is  the  regular  way  of  financial  interests  to 
reward  officials  who  are  good  to  them.  I  get  more  money 
now,  but  I  was  more  effective  as  Ambassador. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    You  surprise  me. 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.  Every  minister  in  Washington 
does  the  same  thing.  In  the  Chancelleries  of  Europe,  that 
fact  is  taken  for  granted. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Go  abroad  to  learn  about  your  own 
country ! 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.  Is  that  wrong?  Is  it  not  better  to 
be  conquered  by  business  than  by  guns?  My  first  hypothe- 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  155 

sis,  I  hope,  deprives  the  second  of  all  offensive  character. 
You  see,  my  method  is  comparatively  harmless. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  If  bent  on  conquest,  why  the  diplo 
macy?  How  could  any  nation  get  its  big  guns  into  the 
United  States? 

LEIBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.  Donnerwetter!  In  United  States 
[sic] — we  make  them!!  [Sitting  down.]  It  will  be  the 
centre  for  Krupp — Pittsburgh!!!  For  Mexico,  now — ! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Controlled  by  Americans — the  Amer 
ican  money  combination — they'd  freeze  you  out  so  tight, 
your  soft  coal  wouldn't  even  thaw. 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.  There  is  in  United  States  [sic]  a 
master  race.  It  is  our  kind  of  people.  It  rules  the  natives 
wherever  it  settles.  We  have  common  enemies,  we  will  be 
common  friends  together — with  our  common  habits  and 
ambitions  and  culture.  The  leaders  of  this  race  will  suf 
focate  your  American  money  combination  with  greater 
money.  They  are  now  the  embryo  of  a  branch  of  Krupp. 
The  day  will  come.  We  will  together  be  the  centre!  Now 
you  are  a  statesman.  American  democracy,  you  know — ! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  An  American  statesman.  There 
seems  to  be  a  difference.  The  political  position  of  money 
hasn't  yet  been  made  official. 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.  Every  American  minister  is  the 
agent  of  American  financiers  at  his  foreign  post.  "Every 
government,"  said  Bismarck,  "takes  solely  its  own  interest 
as  the  standard  of  its  actions,  however  it  may  drape  them 
with  deductions  of  sentiment."  What  do  you  expect  of 
diplomats — if  this  is  diplomacy !  In  the  relations  of  diplo 
matists,  right  and  wrong,  justice  and  injustice  have  no 
place.  Our  partner  in  United  States  has  more  to  do  with 
naming  your  ambassadors  than  your  people  have — am 
bassadors  to In  future  you  may  have  power! 

SENATOR  MORSE.     [Pacing  nervously.]     Nonsense! 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.  To  us — to  our  enemies — to  our 
allies — to  our  friends.  Ambitious  American  statesmen ! 

SENATOR  MORSE.     [Thinking.]     No? 


156  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

LIBBIG  VON  SPBIDBL.  Why  not !  The  greatest  banking 

overseer  in  your  country  is  our  man He  alone  controls. 

To  defeat  the  politicians,  he  made  the  system  to  be  run  by 
politicians,  and  had  himself  made  head  politician.  From 
the  lookout  he  watches  every  bark  on  your  financial  sea. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  A  strange  pilot.  At  least,  little  is 
concealed  from  him. 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.  What  have  the  rabble  to  do  with 
government?  Nun!  Das  Pobel  in  der  Weltpolitik!  Our 
brewers  take  care  of  the  proletariat. — We  give  you  kings! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  One  of  them  alone  pays  five  hundred 
thousand  dollars  every  year  to  the  newspapers  to  convince 
our  people  that  beer  is  a  food  and  that  prohibition  is  a 
restraint  upon  liberty.  Would  they  govern  America! 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.  Better  men  enjoy  themselves  and 
not  try  to  be  serious  like  every  one  a  cabinet  minister.  It  is 
not  they  who  give  us  our  place  in  the  sun.  The  great  men  of 
the  world  today  are  the  grand  marshals  of  industry  and 
finance.  If  you — were — allowed,  you  would  destroy  your 
trusts.  We  foster  our  Kartel.  You  are  sentimental  for  the 
people.  But  the  day  will  come.  Then  you  will  know  your 
American  business  leaders  are  greater  than  politicians, 
who  will  sell  out  to  any  customer,  domestic  or  foreign,  and 
sometimes  to  both  at  once,  greater  than  jurisconsults, 
Presidents,  or  Kings — because — they  are  our  friends.  Our 
Kaiser — he  is  the  master — I  say  it  in  all  kindness — he  does 
not  flesh  his  sword — he  is  the  "Guardian  of  the  World's 
peace »  He  is  the  big  business  man  of  the  whole  world. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  What  a  religion !  It  fetters  the  intel 
lect  absolutely. 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.  Because  established.  Only  the 
strong  should  preach.  Establish  any  religion ;  I'll  be  for  it. 
So  the  ruind  may  speculate  on  useful  things.  Every  man's 
religion  is  the  best.  In  Germany  intelligence  is  uniform ; 
not  only  the  humblest  subject's  body  but  his  individuality 
is  dressed  like  the  highest.  Every  brain  in  Germany  wears 
a  Prussian  uniform.  That's  freedom  of  the  intellect !  That 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  157 

is  emancipation  from  outlandish  error!  Is  England's  es 
tablished  religion  better?  Is  it  free?  If  it  is,  still  the  world 
pays  dear  for  it.  Believe  the  word  of  a  German  who  has 
always  had  great  sympathy  for  you.  The  English  body 
goes  naked,  fed  on  British  institutions  and  clothed  in 
thought,  while  the  brain  wears  servant's  livery.  England 
as  a  prophet  of  religion  is  as  serious  as  a  Jew  peddler,  who 
talks  to  you  to  keep  your  mind  from  the  bargain.  Long 
since  has  England  unpriced  silver  in  the  London  market 
and,  while  shouting  Christianity  to  the  West,  keeps  the 
East  and  West  apart,  pays  to  the  East  in  silver  and  sells 
to  the  West  for  gold,  and  puts  the  profits  into  its  own  ships 
and  into  the  armies  of  its  mercenary  allies — to  pull  Eng 
land's  chestnuts  out  of  the  fire  and  maintain  its  tyranny 
over  all  ports  and  seas.  Some  of  your  statesmen,  too,  have 
seen  that.  We  give  the  world  unity  and  culture! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Is  this  why  your  partner  leads  our 
campaigns  for  popular  reform? 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.  Well,  he's  a  peaceful  little  Bis 
marck.  Didn't  I  put  my  son  in  his  house  in  New  York — a 
coming  diplomat — to  learn  the  business.  Don't  quote  me ! 
[Rising.]  Don't  quote  me!  International  benker  [sic]. 
That's  me ! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Banking  is  an  improper  conduit  for 
diplomacy ! 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.  So?  It  undid  for  Napoleon  what 
Nelson  did  at  Trafalgar! 

SENATOR  MORSE.    Times  have  changed ! 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.  You  have  the  same  means  to  sweep 
England  from  the  sea. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    What  is  it,  pray? 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.  The  Canal !  That's  what  you  are 
here  for.  That  is  why  Napoleon  was  at  Berlin !  This  is  a 
day  of  fate.  Napoleon  called  his  lock-out  against  England 
the  "Berlin  Decree."  We  have  our  own  Canal  already. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Ours  is  for  commerce;  yours  is  for 
war.  And  we'll  make  it  a  weapon  for  peace ! 


158  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.  [Sits  down.]  It's  the  same  thing. 
It  has  long  been  set  down  that  England  will  never  make 
war  for  a  question  of  honor !  England  is  a  traitor  to  the 
white  race  and  the  yellow. 

SENATOR  MORSE.     And  to  take  England's  place,  you 
need  our  Canal!    Yellow  isn't  always  a  surface  color! 
LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.    It  is  the  power  to  close  the  seas. 
SENATOR  MORSE.    Or  to  keep  them  open. 
LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.    For  British  ships  alone.    You 
haven't  any  yet. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    To  prevent  that  is  your  mission. 
LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.    And  America  must  work  with  us. 
SENATOR  MORSE.    And  the  little  American  partner? 
LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.     Can  be  a  Bismarck  for  United 
States  [sic]— and  mobilize  your  financial  resources. 
SENATOR  MORSE.    And  get  us  into  war. 
LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.  Absolutely  not!  We  would  make 
the  Cosmos  and  we  would  rule  it— that  is  what  is  in  the 
German  mind. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  We  would  make  a  Federated  Repub 
lican  Cosmos  with  no  man  to  rule  it— that  is  what  was  in 
the  greatest  German  mind. 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.  Who  said  that?  The  Kaiser? 
SENATOR  MORSE.  No.  One  of  the  eleven  children  of  a 
poor  saddler  of  Konigsberg— Immanuel  Kant.  He  is  the 
German  we  follow  with  his  plan  for  perpetual  peace! 
Greater  than  your  Pax  Teutonica,  greater  than  the  ancient 
Pax  Romana,  will  be  the  perpetual  Pax  Americana! 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.  No !  You  must  work  with  us.  That 
war  will  be  the  germ,  the  embryo,  of  a  new  world.  We'll 
help  you. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    Afterward! 
LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.  Our  American  partner. 
SENATOR  MORSE.     We'll  need  help,  but  not  his.    Bis 
marck  !     Midas  is  what  I  should  call  him.    He  makes  mil 
lions  on  a  public  bond  issue  over  night  without  the  risk  of 
a  cent.    Sharks  follow,  not  lead,  the  Ship  of  State! 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  159 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.  Maecenas,  perhaps.  He  supports 
music  in  your  vulgar  New  York.  And  your  American  girls 
come  to  sing  for  us.  They  absorb  our  language  and  cul 
ture. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  And  lose  their  own — the  greatest  sing 
ing  language.  We  have  opera  without  artists — which 
everybody  stands  because  nobody  understands — by  singers 
who  can't  sing — but — que  voulez-vouz — they  know — all  the 
words — when  the  prompter — also  a  foreigner — secretly 
shouts  them  to  them.  The  hardy  annuals  of  Europe  thrive 
in  our  New  York  climate !  Fixed  stars  in  a  painted  sky ! 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.    Tour  girls  captivate  our  royalty. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    And  serve — the  Imperial — highnesses ! 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.    A  high  honor! 

SENATOR  MORSE.    Honor  outweighs  the  highest  honors! 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.  [With  a  meaning  smile.]  But  we 
make  them  kammersdngerinnen / 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Whom  a  king — kills — is  none  the  less 
—dead ! 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.    We  help  them  to  get  up ! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  [Looking  at  BARON  SPEIDEL  sharply 
and  putting  the  ultimate  of  disgust  into  a  dry  monotone, 
expressing,  in  one  word  and  one  glance,  his  comprehension 
and  his  opinion  of  the  defense.]  Afterward!! 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.  [Dense  to  the  rebuke.]  Now,  I 
have  aided  the  most  charming  of  your  countrywomen  to  an 
enviable  position  and — [Smiling  wickedly] — she  has  not 
been  ungrateful  to  me,  I  assure  you. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  [Sensing  a  relation  between  this  pro 
fession  and  that  of  LEDOUX.]  H'm!  She  flattered  you! 

LIEBIG  VON  SPIEDEL.  No!  [Rising.]  She  admired  me! 
uHow  great  would  you  not  have  been,"  she  said,  "had  you 
been  an  American !"  The  backfisch!  My  conquest  of  Amer 
ica!  [MARY  scowls.]  German  youth  must  be  served,  you 
know. 


160  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

"Madchen  und  Burgen 
Mussen  sich  geben; 
Das  ist  ein  Stiirmen! 
Das  ist  ein  Leben!" 

That  is  the  life !  [Beating  his  chest  with  his  clenched  fist. 
MARY^S  fist  doubles  up.]  That  is  the  kind  of  men  we  are! 
There  are,  of  course,  men,  like  Bismarck,  who  unite  genius 
with  a  strict  manner  of  living,  but  they  appear  only  once 
in  a  hundred  years.  We  strong  men — ! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  My  dear  Baron — in  our  country,  Ger 
man-Americans 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.  American  Germans.  They  remain 
what  they  were  born.  Our  old  God — the  God  of  Moses — 
fights  for  us  all. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  That  old  God  was  neither  Christlike 
nor  divine.  Tom  Paine  whipped  him  single-handed  over  a 
century  ago  and  neither  Jew  nor  Gentile  in  America  stands 
for  such  a  God  now. 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.  Our  old  God  remains  yet  Our  Lord 
God  of  Hosts!  Even  our  Jews  destroyed  your  treaty 
with  Kussia  for  us.  We  now  stand  between.  Your  com 
merce  and  theirs — are  ours.  It  is  the  origin  that  always 
counts,  the  seed,  the  germ — das  keim — the 

SENATOR  MORSE.   [Warning  MARY  away.]   The  embryo. 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.  That  is  it — the  embryo  and  they 
are  for  us  the  embryo  of  German  America.  We  send  them 
there  as  the  advance  guard  of  pacific  penetration.  Even  the 
radicals  of  forty-eight  will  count.  Already  our  beer,  our 
fliissiges  brod  for  stamina,  our  Kultur  for  efficiency ! 

SENATOR  MORSE.    Pacific  penetration  is  a  French  policy. 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.  [With  lascivious  contempt.] 
France! — Ha! — We  love  her!  Her  women,  we  use.  Her 
men! — Ha! — We  let  them  drink  themselves  dead!  If 
not !  [MARY  disappears.]  But  to  America 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Your  love  for  America  is,  I  hope, 
strictly  platonic. 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  161 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.  Nun!  To  America  we  send  to  get 
a  footing.  At  home  the  people  increase  so  fast. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  In  the  country  but  not  of  it — that  is 
immoral — contra  bonos  mores! 

LEIBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.  Worry  yourself  not.  Distinction  but 
no  difference.    Soon  we — be — it — in  all  kindness — for  your 
good!    Only  real  democracy  can  resist  das  Kaiserthum! 
[ LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL  spies  BULLARD.] 

LIEBIG  VON  SPIEDEL.  [To  SENATOR  MORSE.]  Gliick  auf! 
[Calling  sharply  to  BULLARD.]  See  here — du,  Bullard! 

[ BULLARD  comes  to  the  door  of  the  Court  Room.  He 
exchanges  glances  with  LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL,  and, 
noting  that  PSKOV  has  entered  the  Ante-Chamber, 
beckons  to  LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL,  so  that  PSKOV 
may  be  alone  with  SENATOR  MORSE.  LIEBIG  VON 
SPEIDEL  goes  to  BULLARD,  who  engages  him  in 
conversation,  so  as  to  prevent  him  from  returning 
to  SENATOR  MORSE,  and  takes  him  into  the  Court 
Room.  The  SENATOR  looks  serious.  He  sees  GULP, 
who  has  come  out  of  the  office,  goes  up  to  him  and 
speaks  to  him.] 

SENATOR  MORSE.  You  heard  him? 

GULP.    I  did. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  "Pigs  is  pigs." 

CULP.  I  read  the  book.  And  I've  had  German  measles ! 
And  I  have  watched  the  burrowing  of  the  German  mole ! ! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  But  why  should  some  people  increase 
so  fast?  Error  spreads  over  the  world  with  them! 

GULP.    To  keep  out  others. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    Who  refuse  to  see  the  necessity. 

GULP.  People  who  don't  stand  up  for  right  and  justice 
encumber  the  earth.  Error  must  be  killed  wherever  found ! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  And  America  has  actually  sworn  al 
legiance  to  this  foreign  population ! 

GULP.  Domestic  pigs  will  be  found  crowding  to  the 
public  trough  with  the  foreign! 


162  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  They  are — a — menace — to  the  whole 
world !  The  old-fashioned,  decent  man  is  the  modern  Atlas ! 

[BARON  PSKOV  comes  forward.  The  BARON  speaks 
English  with  a  perceptible  accent  and  without 
facility,  as  one  who  speaks  one  language  while 
thinking  in  another.  He  is  very  frank  in  manner, 
but  kindly.  SENATOR  MORSE  sees  PSKOV  and  nods 
to  GULP,  and  goes  up  and  greets  PSKOV.  GULP 
retires  and  MARY  reappears  at  door.] 

PSKOV.  Good  morning,  Senator.  [Jocosely.]  Sdorob- 
svuite!  [Seriously.]  You  look  worried. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  [Removing  his  hat  with  mock  cere 
mony.]  Honored,  I  assure  you. 

PSKOV.     [In  polite  protest.]    No!  Not  to  me! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  [Attempting  to  make  LIEBIG  VON 
SPEIDEL  hear.}  No,  no!  I  raise  my  hat  to  the  humblest 
human  being — as  the  noblest  work  of  God. 

PSKOV.  [Glancing  toward  the  Court  Room,  and  appear 
ing  to  understand.]  Pardon  me!  [Removing  his  hat.] 
My  dear  Senator,  I  wish  you  success. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Your  good- will  may  conflict  with  duty. 

PSKOV.    But  it's  only  as  a  judge  I  am  with  you. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    You  reverse  yourself  cheerfully. 

PSKOV.    A  judge  has  to  be  pliable. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  That  should  disqualify  him.  That's 
a  sterile  life.  It's  dishonest. 

PSKOV.    Oh !    /  am  an  honest  man — honest  to  the  inter 
est  I  serve.    But  /  serve  only  one  master.    I  make  no  false 
pretense  of  judicial  impartiality.    I  let  litigants  know! 
SENATOR  MORSE.    We  fear  benevolence  in  a  despot! 
PSKOV.    They  sin  who  come  between  sovereign  and 
subject. 

SENATOR.  With  us  the  sovereign  is  the  people ! 

PSKOV.  With  us,  as  with  you,  justice  rests  not  upon 
law,  but  upon  power.  The  only  difference  is  that  we  don't 
lie  about  it.  And  we  really  have  the  thing  called  national 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  163 

spirit.    Everybody  knows  who  our  boss  is.    My  friend  and 
master,  the  Czar,  is  the  Little  Father  of  his  people. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  He  protects  his  children  from  new 
ideas.  Yet  he  sells  them  vodka  and  takes  the  profits ! 

PSKOV.  Yes.  The  virus  of  a  new  idea  is  more  powerful 
than  dynamite.  Vodka  keeps  our  unshaped  mass  con 
tented  !  Europe  is  still  governed  by  its  memories.  -The  illu 
sion  of  the  visionary  philanthropist  that  the  present  condi 
tions  in  civilized  states  are  fortuitous,  arbitrary,  or  change 
able  at  will  is  corrected  by  a  grasp  of  the  psychological  ele 
ment  in  the  plan  and  purpose  of  the  great  minds  in  the  his 
tory  of  diplomacy  to  thwart  vast  combinations  of  force  and 
to  preserve  peace  for  the  evolution  of  progressive  ideals. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    What  mind  made  China  quit  opium? 

PSKOV.  Call  it  Czar!  Like  our  worship  before  the 
ikon,  which  the  outside  world  so  little  understands,  he  is 
the  centre  of  the  spirit  of  national  unity — and  fortunate  it 
is  that  a  nation  has  such  a  centre — and  sometimes  for  the 
rest  of  the  world.  It  is  our  Nicholas  and  not  your  Uncle 
Sam  who  initiated  the  movement  for  a  permanent  interna 
tional  Court  of  Arbitration,  and  his  Ambassador,  Nelidoff, 
laid  the  cornerstone  of  this  temple.  The  world  may  laugh 
at  the  Czar's  ikon,  but  the  world  will  some  day  take  off  its 
hat  to  the  Czar's  eirenikon.  Peace  strengthens  democracy 
and  war  strengthens  autocracy,  and  the  Czar  fights  for 
peace.  In  your  country,  with  a  strong  and  untrammeled 
executive  directed  by  a  single  will,  wise  reforms  could  be 
carried  out,  the  weak  defended  against  the  strong,  the 
resources  of  the  country  developed  to  their  full  extent,  the 
hesitations,  delays,  and  contradictions  caused  by  barren 
discussion  avoided,  and  the  national  forces  concentrated 
on  objects  worth  the  aim.  Think  it  over. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  My  race  has  thought  it  over  for  a 
thousand  years.  Despotism  is  anti-parliamentarian.  It  is 
in  public  discussion  that  the  world's  freedom  has  been 
worked  out.  But  that  requires  us,  as  you  say,  in  case  of 
need,  to  "think  it  over!"  We  would  disarm  Kings! 


164  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

PSKOV.  I  know  kings  who  would  put  your  pocket  pa 
triots  to  blush  for  their  parliamentarianism.  [BULLARD 
and  LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL  laugh.]  You  let  them,  aliens,  men 
without  a  country,  break  your  treaty  with  our  autocracy ! 
Your  negro  slavery  during  the  reign  of  King  Cotton  only 
served  the  greater  political  slavery  which  is  still  main 
tained  under  King  Kum  and  King  Money.  Some  day  you'll 
have  to  fight  these  invaders  on  the  last  foot  of  American 
soil.  Our  Czar  stands  between  the  people  and  such  en 
slavers.  In  Eussia  ninety  per  cent,  of  the  land  is  owned 
by  the  peasants.  The  system  of  your  money  dynasts  is  in 
embryo  yet;  wait  and  see  what  they  leave  the  third  and 
fourth  generation.  That  baby'll  be  the  giant  that  gets  new 
strength  every  time  it  puts  its  foot  on  the  ground,  or  on  the 
neck  of  humanity.  Patriotism !  Last  refuge  of  the  scoundrel ! 

SENATOR  MORSE.    You  are  very  frank. 

PSKOV.  Never  express  surprise  when  a  Russian  noble 
tells  you  a  truth.  Our  benevolent  despot  has  taught  the 
world  many  truths.  When  the  Little  Father  sees,  he 
speaks,,  and  his  word  is  law.  Whatever  our  sins,  we  have 
national  character.  Your  nation  means  well,  but  cannot 
carry  out  national  intentions.  You  are  powerless  against 
an  evil  or  an  enemy.  When  I  tell  you,  I  will  vote  for  you, 
my  word  is  good.  I  have  promised. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    Because  we  are  right,  or  unenviable ! 

PSKOV.  You  should  not  care.  One  of  your  women  has 
convinced  me  you  are  neither.  There  alone  you  lead  \ 

SENATOR  MORSE.    She  must  have  a  fine  mind. 

PSKOV.  She  has  youth,  charm,  and  vitality.  She  was 
what  you  call  my  affinity.  [Rapidly  and  with  enthusiasm.] 
Ona  polubsroslaya  dyebushka;  ona  golubchik;  ona  milaya 
pier  sick ; — she — a  peach — a  pippin !  You  neglect  them! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  The  sex  appeal  in  politics.  She  ad 
mired  you,  perhaps?  Beware !  Beauty  is  only  skin  deep ! 

PSKOV.  "How  great,"  she  said,  "would  you  not  have 
been,  had  you  been  an  American !"  She  prospered  abroad ! 

SENATOR  MORSE.    Half  for  you  and  half  for  America ! 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  165 

[BULLARD  laughs.]  How  seductive  her  accent  on  the  "not"! 

PSKOV.  But  it  does  not  prevail.  I  am  not  a  moujik! 
I  am  not  a  yokel !  The  charm  of  sex  may  go  to  the  head  but 
it  accomplishes  little  in  the  way  of  intellectual  conversion. 
[PSKOV  sees  BULLARD,  and  breaks  off  in  a  matter  of  fact 
way.}  There  is  Bullard — he's  a  good  soul.  He  is  my  boss 
here.  I  must  go  to  him.  Disagree  with  America!  [Going 
into  Court  Room.}  It  must  be  a  bolder  judge  than  / ! 

SENATOR  MORSE.     [Half  to  himself.]     Gulp? 

[Enter  VICTOR,  looks  about  vacantly,  goes  into 
Court  Room,  comes  out  and  goes  to  telephone, 
talks,  and  comes  out.  He  appears  more  settled 
than  in  the  first  act;  he  is  very  manly  and 
earnest.] 

VICTOR.     [Observing  him.}     Good  morning,  Senator. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    [Amused.]    Good  morning,  Victor. 

VICTOR.    You'll  excuse  my  rushing  to  the  telephone. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  I  admire  you  for  it.  I'd  never  dare  to 
use  a  telephone  in  Europe.  When  people  see  me,  they  talk 
English.  Even  the  children — to  my  shame — not  only  rat 
tle  on  to  one  another  in  Dutch,  but,  out  of  respect,  for  my 
ignorance,  I  guess,  address  me  in  English.  The  Dutch 
print  is  not  so  bad.  But  an  American  who  can  use  the 
telephone  in  Holland  is  a  wonderful  linguist. 

VICTOR.  Well,  I  confess  I  wasn't  very  successful.  There 
are  a  lot  of  Hollanders  who  don't  speak  Dutch  the  way  7  do. 
Perhaps  you  can  help  me.  At  Scheveningen,  I  questioned  an 
apparently  intelligent  Irish  maid  in  perfectly  good  Eng 
lish,  and  all  I  could  get  out  of  her  was :  [VICTOR  attempts 
to  imitate.}  "We're  just  stupid  foreigners,  and  we  don't 
know  nothing."  Now,  what  do  you  think  of  that?  Eh! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  [Laughing.]  I  agree  with  her!  We 
are !  Our  civilization,  like  beauty,  is  only  skin  deep ! 

VICTOR.  Funny,  wasn't  it?  Eh !  Got  my  Dutch  up ! 
She  had  the  grandest  American  baby  with  her  I  ever  saw. 
He  looked  about  two,  but  bright !  I'll  bet  I  could  have  got 
more  out  of  him  than  from  the  maid !  Funny,  wasn't  it?  Eh ! 


166  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

SENATOR    MORSE.       [Evincing    awakened    curiosity.] 
Very !    Come,  let  us  sit  down.    Tell  me  about  that ! 

[VICTOR  and  SENATOR  MORSE  sit  at  left  of  stage,  near 
the  telephone.  The  door  behind  the  telegraph 
office  opens  wider.  SENATOR  MORSE  watches  it.] 

SENATOR  MORSE.    What  are  you  doing  here? 

VICTOR.  Well,  to  tell  the  truth,  I'm  looking  for  Mary. 
I  want  to  see  you  two  together. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    You've  heard  her  sing,  haven't  you? 

VICTOR.    Have  I !  I've  followed  her  from  one  capital  to 

another  and  witnessed  all  her  triumphs — beginning  with 

that  glorious  night  at  Monte  Carlo.    What  a  Cio-Cio-San ! 

[VICTOR  attempts,  in  imitation,  to  sing  the  opening 

phrases  of  Butterfly's  song,  "Un  bel  di,  vedremo."] 

SENATOR  MORSE.     [Laughing.}    That  was  beautiful! 

VICTOR.  [Joining  in  the  laugh,  then  waging  enthusias 
tic  again.]  I  don't  hear  it  as  you  do.  It's  a  memory.  And 
I'll  never  forget  it — never!  She  just  played  the  harp 
on  our  heartstrings  and  brought  all  our  feelings  into  our 
throats.  At  the  last  I  could  see  her  only  through  a  mist  of 
tears,  but  I  could  feel  that  she  was  Madame  Butterfly  her 
self!  That  roice!  It  haunts  me — like  an  echo — of  an 
American  bugle  call.  A  great  American  singing  actress! 
Her  acting  would  be  music  to  the  deaf,  her  singing  color  to 
the  blind!  Chorley  should  have  lived  to  do  her  justice! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  I'm  proud  of  her !  Just  think  of  it ! 
Making  foreigners  cry !  And  in  plain  English,  too ! 

VICTOR.  And  always  that  silk  American  flag!  By 
George,  that  girl  will  make  the  world  feel  what  music 
means.  The  most  envious  wouldn't  deny  that,  "Bully  good 
method,"  said  a  beefy  Briton  beside  me,  with  a  catch  in  his 
voice  and  a  dab  at  his  eye — "a  bit  tricky  though !"  After  the 
first  night  they  even  stopped — flirting  with  the  goddess 
that  bore  them — in  order  to  hear  her — and  some  swore  off 

for  the  time !    Yes — and  gave  up  their  cocktails  at  the 

American  Bar! — And  the  importunate  suitors — rich  and 
noble — even  royal !    Music  is  a  great  civilizer ! 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD,  167 

SENATOR  MORSE.  You  don't  say  so!  It  is  a  sensation 
that'll  wean  a  tippler  from  his  "tots"  of  brandy ! 

VICTOR.  Don't  I?  If  I'd  been  a  duellist,  I'd  have  been 
dead  long  ago. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    She'd  teach  them  their  distance. 

VICTOR.  [Not  pausing  to  notice  the  Senator's  remark.] 
But  she  led  them  on,  preaching  her  new  gospel  of  popular 
world  unity.  "Social  neurasthenics,"  she  called  them, 
and  "sleek  darlings  of  society,"  "the  smart  world's  latest 
crop."  At  Monaco.  What  an  object  lesson,  right  at  hand ! 
She  made  the  most  of  it.  "A  typical  government,"  she 
called  it — "little — miniature — but  unashamed." 

SENATOR  MORSE.    She's  Sam's  own  child. 

VICTOR.  She  preached  to  me,  too.  She  told  me  that, 
because  of  my  wealth,  I  counted  only  as  a  danger  to  myself 
and  a  menace  to  society.  Bees  would  kill  me  as  a  drone ! 

SENATOR  MORSE.    And  you  liked  it ! 

VICTOR.  I  was  fascinated.  "Our  rich  young  men  have 
been  nursed  with  a  narcotic  of  luxury,  doped  with  dollars 
from  their  infancy,  elated  with  alcohol  from  their  youth, 
and  have  grown  up  to  become  useless  for  their  country, 
and  like  the  spirit  that  buoys  them,  a  social  scourge." 

SENATOR  MORSE.    [Laughing.]  And  you  were  the  proof. 

VICTOR.  "Every  dollar  of  waste  is  a  dollar  of  evil." 
She's  for  what  she  calls  the  "dynamic  dollar."  "A  dollar's 
like  a  man,"  she  says,  "no  use  unless  it's  working.  Boost 
ing  booze  is  no  work  for  either.  If  when  rid  of  their  dollars 
the  rich  have  any  sense  left,  they  will  roll  on  the  ground  in 
sheer  joy  at  being  for  the  first  time  really  'free  and  equal.' " 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Victor,  she  has  chosen  you  to  lead  her 
revolution. 

VICTOR.  She  has  ordered  me,  first  of  all — [VICTOR 
hesitates] — to  get  married. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    That  takes  two. 

VICTOR.  The  coincidence  is  that  the  girl  has  Mary's 
notions. 

SENATOR  MORSE.     You'll  find  plenty  of  young  women 


168  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

who  will  yield  their  notions  for  the  prospect  of  marrying 
you. 

VICTOR.    And,  perhaps,  no  other  who  won't. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    What  does  the  girl  say? 

VICTOR.    Nothing  definite.    I  am  forced  to  guess. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    Haven't  you  spoken  to  her? 

VICTOR.  Not  directly.  [Timorously.]  I  must  first 
speak  to  her  father. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  [Reminiscently.]  That  is  the  hard 
thing  to  do ! 

VICTOR.    [Squirming  noticeably.]   Yes — that  is! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  If  you  are  sure  she's  the  only  girl, 
that  is  half  the  battle. 

VICTOR.  [Encouraged.]  At  least,  she  is  the  only  girl  I 
have  ever  seen  that  wasn't  dying  to  marry  me.  And  what 
they  are  after,  she  won't  have  at  all.  She  insists  that  I 
give  my  fortune  away — to  American  universities. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  What !  More  pensions  and  easy  money 
for  "The  Truthseeking  Union  of  Tired  Professors !" 

VICTOR.  No!  The  income  to  be  distributed  in  scholar 
ships. 

SENATOR  MORSE.   Yes. 

VICTOR.  To  boys  and  girls  who  gain  entrance  before 
sixteen.  If,  as  is  said,  real  education  begins  after  gradua 
tion  from  college,  what's  the  use  of  postponing  it? 

SENATOR  MORSE.  That's  good — to  finish  before  mar 
riageable  age.  Married  youth  seldom  spoils  for  trouble. 
Knowledge  that  enables  parents  to  raise  children  is  the 
beginning  and  ending  of  useful  education. 

VICTOR.  And  with  the  condition  that  every  boy  or  girl 
in  each  university  learn  incidentally  a  useful,  creative  man 
ual  trade 

SENATOR  MORSE.  That's  good,  too — to  be  able  to  earn 
their  own  living.  Educational  cant  closed  to  me  the  ave 
nues  of  modern  life  and  the  fountains  of  living  thought. 

VICTOR.    And  as  a  sheet-anchor  to  windward  for 
tional  misfits. 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  169 

SENATOR  MORSE.  A  life-saver.  Our  modern  universi 
ties  seem  designed  to  teach  everything  except  what's  use 
ful.  They  certainly  teach  our  best  manhood  to  get  drunk! 
The  college  diploma  is  most  often  as  harmful  as  a  certain 
kind  of  food,  which  makes  you  feel  full  before  you  have 
really  eaten  anything!  The  college  fetich  should  be  the 
first  to  go. 

VICTOR.  And  a  reminder  to  those  who  feel  themselves 
above  the  common  economy  of  the  universe,  that  mind  is 
not  the  brain  alone,  but  the  whole  body,  and  that  true  edu 
cation  must  respond  to  the  aggregate  needs  as  well  as  the 
individual,,  and  to  the  physical  and  social  as  well  as  the 
mental  and  moral  needs  of  each  and  all. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  She'd  make  working  universal  and 
the  working  world  a  university.  Our  centres  of  learning 
are  now  mutual  admiration  societies  on  pension — and 
little  more. 

VICTOR.  A  world  not  of  half-men  nor  of  supermen, 
neither  hardened  nor  soft,  but 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Just  average  men  and  women,  not 
each,  as  now,  a  football,  but  parts  of  an  army  of  human 
beings  possessed  in  the  mass  of  football  vim  and  strategy 
and  team  play  and  generalship  applicable  to  the  highest 
uses  of  national  welfare,  progress,  or  defense. 

VICTOR.  That's  it— and  a  democracy  conscious  of  its 
power  and  of  its  corporate  responsibility  for  popular  edu 
cation  and  achievement.  A  nation  an  everworking  army! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  There's  more  real  wealth  in  popular 
education  of  that  kind  than  in  all  the  gold  mines  of  the 
world.  To  pay  for  food  and  clothing  for  the  children  of 
the  poor  at  school  would  be  a  rich  investment.  Ignorance 
costs  us  billions  every  year — mixed  with  poverty  and  its 
miseries — and  it  hasn't  begun  its  destruction.  Wait  until 
the  European  war  comes  and  the  war-swept  races  debouch 
into  the  United  States — it's  a  volcano  that  hasn't  yet  ex 
ploded. 

VICTOR.    Shall  they  remain  bookworms,  grubs,  become 


170  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

butterflies  in  the  sun — moths  to  the  flame — or  shall  they 
feed  like  silkworms  on  the  Tree  of  Gold?  It  took  forty-five 
hundred  years  for  them  to  make  an  American  flag,  but  the 
work  was  worth  it.  Shall  King  Alcohol  pull  it  down! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  But  you  really  appreciate  these  things 
because  they  lead  to  the  girl — to  durable  realities  underly 
ing  ephemeral  appearances. 

VICTOR.  Now,  I  really  appreciate  the  girl  because  she 
leads  to  these  things. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    And  your  mind  is  made  up? 

VICTOR.  I  have  had  the  papers  drawn — and  I've  given 
my  attorney  in  New  York  full  power  to  sign  them.  I'm  to 
cable. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Victor.  Let  me  shake  your  hand.  I 
had  begun  to  think  there  wasn't  a  generous  impulse  left 
in  humanity. 

VICTOR.    Do  you  believe  in  the  plan? 

SENATOR  MORSE.  I've  always  dreamed  a  lot  of  beliefs. 
In  the  last  half  hour,  I've  adopted  some  I  didn't  think  I'd 
ever  countenance.  A  world  triumvirate,  Mammon,  Mars, 
and  Mercury!  Greed,  Force,  and  Cunning!  Great  Gods! 
Our  Congressmen  ought  to  be  made  to  prowl  around  the 
countries  our  people  come  from — for  about  six  months. 
Bullard  was  right !  Blindness  is  a  crime.  I  now  believe  that 
the  right  to  leave  property  above  a  certain  amount  should 
be  limited  to  a  choice  of  public  work  to  be  supported.  I 
believe  that's  a  fair  and  practical  way  to  bring  the  owner 
ship  of  the  public  property  of  the  country  back  into  the 
hands  of  the  people  of  the  country,  where  it  belongs,  and  to 
take  back  the  public's  due  proportion  of  the  principal  and 
the  profits  of  properties  given  by  the  public  through  the 
criminal  carelessness  of  its  guardians  or  the  criminal  con 
spiracy  between  those  guardians  and  the  private  benefi 
ciaries.  I  believe  that  none  but  mothers  and  children 
should  share  in  the  decedent's  estate.  I  believe  that  as  a 
safeguard  there  should  be  a  heavy  tax — enforced  by  an 
expansion  of  the  Statute  of  Frauds — on  every  large  pri- 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  171 

vate  gift.    And  I  believe  that  up  to  the  twenty-first  year 
of  living  persons  is  long  enough  to  tie  up  property. 

VICTOR.    You  are  against  the  rich,  too. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    No.    Pm  against  the  too  rich. 

VICTOR.  The  predatory  rich? 

SENATOR  MORSE.  All  great  riches  are  predatory.  It's 
only  big  fortunes  that  aren't  hurt  by  conditions  their  ex 
istence  creates.  To  bring  about  a  means  of  circulating 
money,  we  have  actually  had  to  adopt  an  absolute  concen 
tration  of  control — while  the  only  thing  needed  was  a 
breaking  up  and  distribution  of  ownership. 

VICTOR.  But  you  propose  to  make  the  present  genera 
tion  pay  for  the  next. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  No.  What  I  wish  is  to  relieve  the  next 
generation  of  paying  for  this,  and  to  give  it  a  chance  to 
work  for  itself — other  races  are  eager  enough  to  curtail 
that  without  our  helping  them. 

VICTOR.    But  it's  taxing  prosperity. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  It's  taxing  inactivity.  It  will  do 
away  with  present  burdens  on  business.  It'll  mix  men  and 
money  up  a  little  more,  and  end  our  automatic  panics.  I 
believe  that  private  control  of  surplus  wealth  is  a  curse, 
and  that  it  should  be  as  little  subject  to  withdrawal  from 
common  use  as  the  railroads,  the  river,  the  seashore,  or 
the  high  sea.  The  big  unit  should  always  be  for  public 
use.  Such  a  theory  dispenses  with  regulation  of  private 
initiative  unworkable  except  for  political  purposes. 

VICTOR.  But  we  must  have  a  leisure  class ;  their  contri 
bution  is  essential. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  All  the  leisure  we  can  afford  should 
be  apportioned  to  all.  Rest  is  not  idleness. 

VICTOR.  Philanthropy  is  a  great  corrective,  isn't  it? 
Think  of  the  millions  devoted  to  charity. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  By  reason  of  church  politics  and  State 
politics,  not  one  per  cent,  reaches  its  object.  Not  political 
or  religious  opinion,  but  charity  in  a  broad  sense  is  the  one 
object  of  society.  Until  that  is  expressed  in  law,  philan- 


172  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

thropy  will  be  only  a  dream.  Social  service  should  not  be 
a  fad ;  it's  a  public  duty.  Private  charity  fails  always  when 
it  is  needed  most.  People  make  the  trouble  and  poverty  of 
others  their  pleasure.  They  are  strong  on  investigation 
and  patronizing,  and  weak  on  relief.  With  them  formalism 
is  the  soul  of  function  and  the  functions  of  organized  char 
ity  are  practically  limited  to  the  distribution  of  advice  and 
statistics.  Charity,  like  religion  and  law  and  politics,  is 
criminally  over-organized.  If  only  the  common  law  were 
adjusted  to  modern  conditions,  the  fight  for  socialism 
and  other  fallacious  political  remedies  for  social  inequality 
would  be  unnecessary. 

VICTOR.    But  aren't  you  talking  like  a  socialist? 

SENATOR  MORSE.  No.  Within  my  experience  a  native 
American  party  sprang  into  existence  from  activities  on 
the  part  of  foreigners  who  attempted  to  influence  our  poli 
cies.  The  present  activity  of  money  in  politics  is,  as  I 
now  see  it,  an  alien  influence.  I  believe  in  the  right  of 
private  property  for  the  blessings  it  assures  to  humanity. 
I  believe  in  the  protection  of  property  clause  in  the  Consti 
tution  of  the  United  States,  and  in  the  power  of  the  Su 
preme  Court  to  enforce  it — but  if  the  common  law  is  not 
changed  so  as  to  limit  the  power  of  money  in  our  civiliza 
tion,  the  natural  forces  will  continue  to  work  which  have 
already  made  that  great  tribunal — which  must  always  be 
political — the  ally,  in  a  moderate  degree,  of  concentrated 
capital — and  will  bring  about  a  concentration  hostile  to 
American  institutions — and  make  necessary  a  new  strug 
gle  for  individual  rights  and  common  humanity.  Where 
else  on  earth  was  mere  money  ever  allowed  to  dominate 
national  aspirations? 

VICTOR.  Socialism  would  remove  the  spur  to  human 
effort,  wouldn't  it? 

SENATOR  MORSE.  I  don't  advocate  socialism,  but  I  do 
say  that  big  money  is  not  the  only  spur  to  work — and  it's 
just  the  wrong  kind  of  incentive.  We'd  better  be  without  it 
anyway — when  it  leaves  the  greater  part  of  humanity  flat 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  173 

on  its  back  working  on  a  shoestring  as  capital  and  worth 
less  as  creators  and  as  customers.  Our  thriftiest  are 
unfortunately,  not  our  best  but  our  most  recreant  to  prog 
ress.  The  American,  of  all  men,  should  be  not  the  victim 
of  our  vast  material  resources  but  the  master.  Many 
afflicted  Americans  hesitate  to  proclaim  themselves  social 
ists  because  they  are  just  a  little  bit  snobs.- 

VICTOR.  I  suppose  it  takes  experience  to  realize  that. 
Keally  money  makes  written  constitutions  and  blocks  the 
evolution  of  the  law,  doesn't  it?  Where  will  it  end?  Eh! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  There  can  be  but  one  end  to  a  genera 
tion  that  esteems  an  occupation  not  for  its  usefulness  but 
for  the  mere  result  of  getting  money.  Manhood  now  waits 
not  upon  nature  but  upon  high  finance  and  already  the 
socially  honest  have  ceased  to  reproduce. 

VICTOR.    Yet  how  many  imagine  it! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  The  mental  disease  of  the  ruling 
classes  is  lack  of  imagination.  Nature  abhors  a  vacuum. 

VICTOR.  It  really  doesn't  seem  to  occur  to  them  that 
others  have  to  live.  Nature  abhors  a  hog! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  A  recognition  of  their  trusteeship  by 
the  holders  of  surplus  wealth  is  all  that  will  prevent  the 
people  from  setting  up  a  common  trusteeship — which  is 
socialism.  Character  in  a  nation  is  its  salvation,  but  it  is 
a  plant  that  grows  only  when  cultivated  and  trained. 
Neither  the  current  biological  orthodoxy  based  on  unkind- 
ness  nor  the  current  religion  based  upon  superstition  can 
have  entered  into  the  nurture.  A  leadership  resting  upon 
past  national  character  may  be  maintained  only  as  that 
character  is  maintained.  To  hold  their  leadership,  the  pos 
sessors  of  property  must  dissolve  the  conspiracy  against 
evolution  which  sustains  the  pinnacled  civilization  of  the 
sated  few.  The  law  of  property  and  marriage  should  cease 
to  do  service  for  the  children  of  the  apes.  Evolution  that 
depends  on  devolution  will  produce  not  the  natural  selec 
tion  and  survival  of  the  fit,  but  those  cataclysms  which, 
ever  overturning  society,  hurl  back  progress  and  bring  the 


174  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

least  useful  elements  constantly  to  the  top.  So  with  men,  so 
with  nations.  First-rate  power  must  be  maintained  not  by  a 
freemasonry  of  greed  but  by  deserving  it  of  our  fellow  men. 

VICTOR.  Two  hundred  million  dollars  will  help  three 
hundred  thousand  girls  and  boys  a  year  to  a  life  of  broader 
usefulness.  A  sprinkling  of  hopeful  youth  in  every  city 
block  or  every  village  will  change  the  whole  community 
and  plant  culture  and  ambition  in  the  average  American 
home!  Their  leaven,  too,  will  not  only  cut  the  nonsense 
out,  but  will,  in  a  natural  manner,  lessen  the  years  wasted 
in  American  education,  I'll  bet.  Oaste,  in  America,  puts 
the  age  of  mental  development  back  four  years.  There  is 
no  crime  but  ignorance.  There  should  be  no  punishment 
but  light.  A  perfect  educational  system  will  produce  a 
perfect  civilization!  Without  it  fine  souls  succumb  to 
their  surroundings.  I'm  for  that  proposition.  I'm  through 
being  a  money  holder.  I'm  going  to  be  a  man. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    Better  than  great  wealth  is  content 
ment  with  little.    Sc  with  men,  so  with  nations. 
[Enter  BULLARD  from  Court  Room.] 

VICTOR.  Can't  the  Court  be  made  to  change  its  views? 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Well,  there's  one  sentence  that  gives 
hope.  One  day,  in  a  big  case,  in  which  Bullard  stubbed 
his  toe,  the  Court  said :  "There  is  a  potency  in  numbers, 
when  combined,  which  the  law  cannot  overlook."  It  meant 
not  men  but  dollars.  If  that  line  could  be  worked  out,  we 
might  attain  the  rights  of  man.  If  it  isn't,  vices  licensed 
for  public  revenue  will  soon  be  levying  all  the  taxes  them 
selves.  They  evade  theirs  now  and  thrive  on  what  others 
pay  to  care  for  their  victims. 

VICTOR.  [Noting  the  approach  of  BULLARD,  and  speak 
ing  in  a  low  tone  to  SENATOR  MORSE,  but  with  resolution.] 
I  pity  Bullard's  toes.  I'm  done  with  money ;  I'm  for  men. 

BULLARD.  [Who  has  heard  VICTOR'S  last  words.]  Hello, 
Victor.  I've  got  some  money,  and  it  makes  me  feel  com 
fortable,  but  not  unmanly.  "A  man's  a  man  for  a>  that." 

VICTOR.    I  don't  want  the  handicap.  Money  isn't 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  175 

BULLARD.  I  know,  but  if  yon  are  otherwise  happy,  it 
comes  in  handy.  Those  I  deal  with  are  eager  to  get  it. 

[VICTOR  goes  up  to  BULLARD,  puts  his  right  hand  on 
BULLARD'S  left  shoulder,  and  looks  into  his  eyes.] 

VICTOR.  Do  you  know,  Mr.  Bullard,  what  has  caused 
me  more  thought  than  anything  else  in  my  life? 

BULLARD.    I  can't  imagine. 

VICTOR.  It  was  hearing  Mary  Flint  talk  that  night 
about  those  hundred  thousand  children.  We  rich  are 
staunch  for  the  church,  and  wish  God  to  be  on  our  side, 
without  admitting  the  necessity  of  being  on  His.  And  we 
cherish  the  idea  of  a  hereafter ;  it  satisfies  both  our  require 
ments  that  the  poor  shall  be  kept  in  fear  and  our  notion  of 
a  place  fit  for  our  own  habitation  and  a  new  escape  from 
the  realities  of  life  in  the  life  to  come  after  the  enjoyments 
we  have  had  in  this.  What  the  poor  slavishly  hope  for  in 
the  world  to  come,  the  initiated  aim  to  win  by  their  money 
in  the  earthly  life.  It's  a  mean  work,  this  promising  the 
poor  heaven  to  delude  them  into  accepting  hell  on  earth 
and  arguing  upon  them  at  once  the  will  to  believe  and  the 
willingness  to  live  as  cravens — even  to  die  like  galley 
slaves,  in  battle,  killing  their  fellow  men.  Why,  the  church- 
iest  of  churches  actually  prays  for  pay — sells  poor  people 
passes  for  their  souls  to  Heaven — while  it  is  as  impotent 
as  the  other  traders  in  divinity  to  free  them  from  the  saloon 
hell  and  the  other  hells  on  earth.  Well,  there  is  no  greater 
fool  than  the  dupe  of  his  own  deception.  I  have  been 
taught,  fortunately,  through  the  inspiration  of  a  pure  wom 
an,  to  know  my  own  soul  and  to  recognize  other  people's. 
I  want  to  go  to  Heaven,  if  there  is  such  a  place,  but  I  want 
to  go  without  fearing  to  meet  any  human  being  face  to  face. 
It's  getting  hard  enough  to  do  that  on  earth. 

BULLARD.  Heaven  doesn't  enter  my  calculation.  There 
may  not  be 

VICTOR.    Well,  it  has  entered  into  mine,  and  I  know  a 


176  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

way  to  bring  a  little  of  it  down  here  on  earth,  and  make 
sure  of  it — for  myself  and  others.  The  churches  don't !  If 
our  best  people  do  not  soon  get  down  to  earth  and  make 
their  stand  in  the  people's  theatre,  the  stock  of  the  Puri 
tans  might  just  as  well  die. 

BULLARD.  Take  care  of  yourself.  No  more  is  required 
of  you.  The  stronghold  of  cant  and  snobocracy  is  the  mob ! 

VICTOR.  If  you  hadn't  done  that — a  wonderful  man  like 
you?  If  you  had  continued  and  become  a  minister  to  hu 
man  ills,  what  might  you  not  have  done !  You  might  even 
have  created  the  twilight  sleep  and  eased  the  pain  with 
which  the  earth  is  replenished!  You  might  have  created 
some  of  the  things  that  make  nations  leaders  of  the  world's 
culture  and  the  means  of  well-being  common  possessions. 
But  now  you  lead  in  a  meanness  that  can  have  no  other 
end  than  the  devastation  of  the  world.  /  have  been  led 

astray I  have  been  made  unwittingly  a  partner  in 

the  alliance  between  finance  and  religion,  which  keeps  the 
poor  out  of  the  Kingdom  here  and  the  rich  out  of  the 
Kingdom  hereafter,  and  makes  the  church  merely  a  gate 
way  to  worldly  success.  If  we  are  ever  to  live  in  eternity, 
we've  got  to  begin  here !  I'd  like  to  spend  a  short  time  in 
hell  just  to  watch  our  best  people  enjoying  their  holy  fire 
together  apart  from  the  rest.  The  law  of  man,  in  protect 
ing  gifts  of  enormous  fortunes  after  death,  sets  aside  the 
law  of  nature  and  the  law  of  God,  and  leads  God  knows 
where!  When  a  man  ceases  to  stand  on  his  own  feet  and 
think  as  a  human  being  with  a  soul,  he's  a  danger  to  the 
human  race.  I'm  going  to  drop  this  religion  of  money  and 
the  religion  of  fear  and  take  up  the  religion  of  life.  There 
is  no  God  but  man — no  religion  but  humanity !  There  is 
that  in  the  least  of  mortals  which  is  God ! 

[ BULLARD  grasps  Victor's  shoulder  and  looks  into 
his  eyes  as  if  to  present  to  VICTOR  a  mirror  in 
which  to  read  the  answer  to  his  question.] 

BULLARD.  Don't  you  realize  that  if  you'd  hand  untold 
wealth  to  those  nature  didn't  intend  it  for,  who  weren't 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  177 

born  to  money,  with  the  inherited  tradition  of  being  close, 
they'd  get  rid  of  the  last  nickel?  Fate  hits  Unitarians,  too ! 
VICTOE.  No!  I  believe  there's  a  normal  amount  nat 
ural  to  every  one  and  that  humanity  won't  be  normal  until, 
to  supplant  its  devouring  egoism,  a  process  of  automatic 
adjustment  is  invoked.  Sheltered  lives  and  misery  mark  the 
decay  civilization  and  shut  God  and  Heaven  entirely  out ! 
BULLARD.  Well,  this  is  the  place,  all  right,  for  you  to 
make  sure  of  Heaven.  You  won't  go  to  Heaven  very  soon, 
you'll  be  here  a  long  time.  It'll  be  all  right.  [VICTOR 
walks  away.  BULLARD  looks  after  him  and  says,  half  to 
himself.}  You  can't  manufacture  men — and  you  can't  kill 
a  sucker!  [BULLARD  goes  to  the  telegraph  office,  writes 
out  a  cable,  hands  it  to  a  ~boy,  then  goes  into  the  Court 
Room.} 

SIR  KICHARD.    [Coming  out  of  the  Court  Room.}    I  am 
about  to  announce  the  convening  of  the  court. 
SENATOR  MORSE.    Veuy  well,  Sir  Richard. 

[SiR  RICHARD  signals  attendant,  who  rings  a  bell.] 
SIR  RICHARD.    I  observe  we  are  all  here. 

[CuLP  appears  and  goes  to  give  orders  to  attendants 
and  assistants.  SIR  RICHARD  goes  into  Court 
Room,  leaving  THREE  JUDGES  with  the  SENATOR. 
SIR  RICHARD  ascends  the  bench.  BULLARD  goes  up 
to  the  bench.  SIR  RICHARD  bends  over  to  speak  to 
him  and  both  remain  engrossed  in  their  own 
conversation  until  after  the  other  JUDGES  enter 
the  Court  Room.  VICTOR  paces  up  and  down  the 
stage  until  his  attention  is  attracted  by  MARY'S 
entrance.  SENATOR  MORSE  turns  to  the  THREE 
JUDGES.] 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Each  of  you  has  confided  to  me  that 
he  has  made  a  conquest  of  the  most  charming  of  American 
women.  [The  THREE  JUDGES  measure  one  another.]  I 
presume  it  would  not  be  indelicate,  now  that  you  have 
gone  so  far,  for  each  to  set  forth  the  basis  of  his  boast. 
LEDOUX.  M y  taste  could  not  be  disputed ! 


178  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.  Though  in  attractiveness  excelled ! 
In  meinen  augen  hat  sie  auch  lesen  konnen! 

PSKOV.    Eyes — may  be  more — ivicked — than — egotism ! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  You  are  all  praising — not  the  lady — 
but  yourselves ! 

LEDOUX.  Eh  bien!  La  'belle  americaine!  Madame 
Butterfly  en  personnel 

[The  others  gape  at  him.] 

SENATOR  MORSE.    [To  LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.]    And  you? 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.  [Looking  with  astonishment  at 
LEDOUX.]  Also  I  Ebenfals!  Ich  meine!  Die  hat! — auch 
meine  freundin  hat — bei  uns — "als  gast" — unubertrefflich 
als  Butterfly  gesungen!  Fraulein / 

PSKOV.  [Looking  from  LEDOUX  to  LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.] 
Do  both  the  gentlemen  mean  Mademoiselle — das  beriihmte 
Fraulein — Gospozha — Miss  Mary  Flint? 

LEDOUX.    Who  the  devil  is  it  that  one  deceives  here ! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Somebody's  been  wronged.  Is  this 
woman  an  American? 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.    Absolutely. 

LEDOUX.    Incontestably. 

PSKOV.    Surely. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    An  opera  singer? 

LEDOUX.    Precisely ! 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.    Ja!  Ja! 

PSKOV.    Da!    Da! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  And  she  has  preached  a  world  democ 
racy  to  you? 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.  Like  a  crank. 

PSKOV.    Always.    Cosmocracy — cosmic  anarchy! 

LEDOUX.    Such  eloquence! 

SENATOR  MORSE.    And  she  has  deceived  each  of  you? 

LEDOUX.    That's  evident. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    One  Dido  for  three ! 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.    Confidence  misplaced ! 

PSKOV.    It  is  foolish  to  trust  a  woman ! 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  179 

LEDOUX.    One  could  not  deny  that    Even  she ! 

[Enter  MARY.  GULP  at  the  same  time,  coming  out 
of  Court  Room,  stops  to  listen.] 

MARY.  [With  consciously  fine  sarcasm.]  Gentlemen ! 
Gallants,  but  hardly  gallant !  [Lowering  her  voice  almost 
as  if  talking  to  herself  and  brooding  over  her  injury.] 
Liars,  all  of  you !  There's  not  one  of  you  that  didn't  offer 
to  show  me  rapid  success  by  the  easiest  way,  but  I  didn't 
even  understand  your  meaning. 

LEDOUX.  I  have  been  misunderstood.  I  merely  said  that 
Mademoiselle  is  the  most — charming  of  her  sex — and — the 
most — correct. 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.    The  most — beautiful. 

PSKOV.    And  the  greatest — artiste. 

[MARY,  as  if  challenged  out  of  silence,  speaks  up, 
but  still  in  a  low  tone,  and  with  a  rapid-fire  dec 
lamation  that  gives  the  impression  of  a  maga 
zine  gun  with  a  Maxim  silencer.] 

MARY.  And  you  all  of  you  pretended  to  relations  with 
a  money-power  that  controls  music  in  America.  But  I 
have  defied  you — charlatans  and  sham  diplomats — your 
cliques  and  your  claques,  and  I  have  sung  to  the  common 
people  of  Europe.  You  don't  represent  them.  Without 
respect  for  woman,  no  man  ever  can.  They'd  be  ashamed 
of  you — your  weakness,  your  meanness,  and  your  un 
speakable  arrogance — you  who  bid  noble  needs  begone 
and  debase  the  spirit  of  the  world,  and  betray  your  coun 
tries  as  you  do  your  wives.  Great!  I  guess  not!  In 
America,  every  decent  man  is  as  great  as  the  greatest! 
But  you!  Here's  Ledoux,  a  Frenchman — the  dupe  of  his 
worst  enemy. 

LEDOUX.  Senator,  I  must  stand  here  and  listen  to 
this?  We,  three  friends  of  the  United  States ? 

SENATOR  MORSE.  [Not  without  courtesy.]  I  guess 
you  would  better.  It's  coming  to  you.  The  three  real 


180  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

friends  of  the  United  States,  I  guess,  are  the  Atlantic 
Ocean  and  the  Pacific  Ocean,  and  the  little  strip  of  water 
that  joins  them.  Go  on  Mary. 

[The  THREE  DIPLOMATS  appear  to  have  difficulty 
in  following  this  speech,  which  is  spoken  very 
swiftly  by  MARY,  with  evident  pleasure  at  their 
confusion.  ] 

MARY.  Why,  the  French  people  contributed  twenty- 
two  thousand  lives  in  an  attempt  to  build  the  Pacific 
Canal  and  two  hundred  and  sixty  million  dollars.  Two 
out  of  every  three  men  succumbed  to  the  yellow  fever,  yet 
no  Frenchman  ever  flinched.  Eight  hundred  thousand 
Frenchmen  subscribed  to  build  the  Canal  and  despite  the 
loss  of  every  franc  invested,  despite  the  proof  of  graft  and 
waste,  the  people  were  anxious  to  go  on.  The  American 
people  took  up  the  burden  and  paid  forty  million  dollars 
for  the  chance,  of  which,  through  the  villainy  of  your  kind, 
no  French  peasant  ever  received  a  cent,  and  they  took 
Panama  from  Colombia  in  trust  for  humanity.  There 
could  be  no  other  justification.  They  wiped  out  the  yel 
low  fever  and  the  yellow  streak,  and  spent  four  hundred 
million  dollars  without  a  suspicion  of  inefficiency  or  graft. 
They  not  only  laid  forever  the  ghost  of  socialism  that 
frightens  us  from  public  management  of  public  work,  free 
from  the  terrible  toll  of  private  promotion  and  finance, 
but  they  made  the  Pacific  Canal  an  arm  of  the  open  sea. 
Let  the  people  of  the  Western  World  unite  to  keep  it  open 
and  free  for  all  time  against  a  yellow  peril  from  within  or 
without,  an  Eastern  yellow  peril  with  its  deeper  yellow 
Western  barbarian  leader,  a  bond  of  alliance  against  all 
who  would  make  trouble  between  nations  and  destroy 
peace.  Go,  convene  your  tribunal,  but  I  warn  you  that 
the  American  people  for  one  will  not  only  not  accept  your 
finding  in  favor  of  the  foreign-owned  railroads  of  the 
United  States,  but  on  the  model  of  this  trusteeship  of  an 
international  utility  will  take  over  every  public  utility, 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  181 

national,  State  and  municipal.  If  you  persist,  you  will 
open  their  eyes  to  the  real  money  trust  and  to  the  fact  that 
graft  is  an  international,  as  well  as  a  national,  institu 
tion.  And  they  will  see  in  you  not  diplomats,  but  blind 
prophets  leading  their  own  people  to  destruction,  and 
will  start  an  investigation  that  will  unite  the  peoples 
of  civilization  and  placing  the  uplifting  force  of  the  Amer 
ican  idea  under  every  throne  on  earth,  shake  the  private 
governments  and  financial  strongholds  of  the  world  to  their 
very  foundations.  And  the  oligarchs  will  be  forced  to  lead 
the  popular  movement.  All  nations  worthy  to  live  will 
pledge  the  world  that  not  for  gold,  a  little  more  or  less, 
will  they  open  the  veins  of  civilization  and  bleed  humanity 
white.  Come  on,  Victor,  let  the  puppets  of  the  old  Spanish 
system  go  through  their  motions.  A  Peace  Tribunal  under 
imps  of  darkness,  pawns  of  bond  brokers,  master-minds  of 
international  murder,  coiners  of  blood!  American  rail 
roads,  managed  in  peace  and  war,  in  the  interest  of  syndi 
cated  governments  of  Europe!  A  Peace  Palace  made  the 
nest  of  war !  The  madness  of  man  marring  the  benevolent 
purposes  of  God !  Indignation  at  your  plot  to  divert  one 
public  waterway  to  private  use  will  inspire  a  purpose  to 
make  the  open  sea  the  fair  domain  of  the  world's  peace 
and  this  Palace  the  Court  of  International  Justice,  with 
Neptune's  trident  as  its  sword,  international  ships  as  its 
bailiffs,  the  greater  love  as  its  law-book,  and  humanity  as 
its  justice-seat. 

[CuLP  goes  to  the  telegraph  office  unnoticed  by 
the  group,  while  MARY  is  talking.  MARY  and 
VICTOR  go  out  at  the  left.  MARY  drops  a  hand 
kerchief  as  she  goes  out.  As  she  drops  it,  she 
gives  a  significant  look  toward  the  Court  Room 
and  smiles.] 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.    What  did  she  say? 
PSKOV.     Didn't  you  understand? 


182  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.    I  understood  the  words— but  the 

ideas 

LEDOUX.    The  ideas  were  strange  to  you! 

PSKOV.    I  must  ask  more!    Where  is  this  Bullard? 

LEDOUX.    She  talked  so  fast. 

LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.    I  think  she  praised  us. 

PSKOV.    /  don't  think  so. 

LEDOUX.    Nor  I ! 

[JUDGES  go  into  the  Court  Room.  VICTOR  and  MARY 
go  out  through  the  door.  SENATOR  MORSE  waits, 
deep  in  thought,  then  goes  into  the  Court  Room. 
BULLARD  approaches  him  and  leads  him  down 
apart  from  the  OTHERS.] 

BULLARD.  [Anxiously.]  How  did  it  go?  It  will  be  all 
right,  I  guess.  Yes? 

SENATOR  MORSE.  [Coldly,  and  turning  to  go  into  the 
Court  Room.]  You  were  certainly  right.  They  did  talk 
about  themselves!  "America,  with  all  thy  imperfections, 
I  love  thee  still !" 

[SiR  RICHARD  a&cends  the  bench  and  raps  with 
gavel.  GULP  stops  at  counter  and  is  handed,  by 
an  ASSISTANT,  BULLARD'S  cable.  He  reads  it 
hurriedly,  and  then  makes  a  copy,  which  he  folds 
and  thrusts  into  his  pocket.] 

SIR  EICHARD.  The  Tribunal  for  the  determination  of 
the  dispute  between  the  United  States  of  America  and  the 
United  Kingdom  of  Great  Britain  and  Ireland,  and  so 
forth,  over  the  right  of  the  United  States  to  exempt  its 
own  coastwise  vessels  from  tolls  charged  to  the  ships  of 
other  nations,  is  now  in  session.  The  Secretary  will  read 
the  agreement  between  the  nations  for  the  submission  of 
the  controversy. 

[As  SIR  RICHARD  finishes  his  speech  the  bell  in  the 
tower  of  the  Palace  of  Peace  sounds  the  first 
stroke  of  twelve.  A  clerk  who  is  invisible  at 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  183 

the  side  of  the  Court  Room  reads.  During  read 
ing  ~by  CLERK,  the  action  in  the  Ante-Chamber 
proceeds.  MARY  is  soon  visible  in  the  telegraph 
office  writing  cables.] 

CLERK.  The  United  States  of  America  and  His  Majes 
ty,  George  the  Fifth,  King  of  the  United  Kingdom  of 
Great  Britain  and  Ireland,  Emperor  of  India,  hereby 
agree  to  submit  to  arbitration  by  the  International  Court 
of  Arbitration  to  be  convened  at  the  Palace  of  Peace  at 
The  Hague  on  the  28th  day  of  June,  1914,  all  questions 
arising  out  of  the  Hay-Pauncefote  Treaty  now  in  force 
between  the  signatory  powers  with  respect  to  the  right  of 
the  United  States  of  America  to  charge  to  the  ships  of  the 
other  nations  a  higher  rate  of  tolls  than  is  charged  to  the 
vessels  flying  the  flag  of  the  United  States  of  America  fop 
the  use  of  and  passage  through  the  Pacific  Canal. 

It  is  further  agreed  that  the  United  States  of  America 
and  His  Majesty,  George  the  Fifth,  King  of  the  United 
Kingdom  of  Great  Britain  and  Ireland,  Emperor  of  India, 
may  each  choose  two  members  of  the  Court  of  Arbitra 
tion  as  constituted  for  the  trial  of  this  case  from  among 
the  standing  members  heretofore  appointed  by  the  powers 
signatory  to  the  General  Arbitration  Treaty  and  that 
those  four  members  may  choose  a  fifth  member.  It  is 
agreed  that  the  Court  shall  hear  argument  and  take  evi 
dence  on  behalf  of  the  contending  parties,  and  that  the 
award  shall  be  final  and  binding  upon  the  parties, 

[Enter  VICTOR.     Approaches  CULP.     Writes  two 
cables,  takes  out  bank  notes.] 

VICTOR.  Will  you  please  rush  these.  We're  sailing  to 
morrow. 

CULP.    Sure. 

VICTOR.     Keep  it  secret.    Please  accept  this. 


184  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

[Exit  VICTOR  hurriedly,  giving  GULP  no  chance  to 
return  bank  notes.] 

GULP.  Money!  Always  money!  Its  usual  speech! 
Hello ! — and — Goodbye ! 

[Enter  MARY  by  telegraph  office  door,  two  cables  in 
one  hand  and  a  banknote  in  the  other.  Grabs  him 
and  gives  him  a  kiss  on  each  cheek.] 

MARY.  The  kisses  are  for  your  children.  This — 
[Hands  him  banknote] — is  for  your  wife.  [Hands  him  ca 
ble.]  This  is  for  the  American  people  and  their  fellow 
countrymen  throughout  the  world.  This  will  hold  the 
hold-up  for  awhile.  Bullard  has  forced  my  hand,  but  I'll 
meet  his  move  and  beat  him.  [Hands  him  another  cable.] 
This  is  for  a  friend  of  ours. 

GULP.  God  bless  you,  my  girl.  You're  a  wonder.  I'll 
never  forget  you. 

MARY.  You're  a  trump.  The  messages?  Are  they  all 
right? 

GULP.  I  don't  know  what  they  are,  but  they're  all 
right.  [Draws  copy  of  BULLARD'S  cable  from  his  pocket, 
hands  it  to  MARY  and  says]  Read  this  at  your  leisure. 
[MARY  hurriedly  takes  the  paper  and  thrusts  it  into  her 
corsage.] 

MARY.  Here's  for  yourself.  [Kisses  him  on  the  fore 
head.]  Good-bye,  GULP!  Money  has  had  its  say,  but  now 
we'll  hear  the  other  side. 

GULP.  Good-bye,  Miss.  [Wiping  away  a  tear.]  Good 
bye.  No.  Tot  Weersiens! 

[MARY  exits  as  VICTOR  rushes  in,  looks  around,  and 
not  seeing  MARY,  runs  out  again.  GULP  rouses 
himself  out  of  a  r every  as  the  reading  within  con 
tinues  in  a  monotone.  GULP  rubs  his  eyes  and 
reads  the  message.  He  directs  his  reading  to  a 
red-cheeked  boy,  who  has  but  a  dim  idea  of  what 
he  is  saying.] 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  185 

Department  of  State, 
Washington,  D.  C.,  U.  S.  A., 

HON.  JOHN  MORSE,  June  28,  1914. 

Palace  of  Peace, 

The  Hague,  Holland. 

Negotiations  pending.  Settlement  dispute  imminent. 
Eequest  immediate  suspension  proceedings  Tribunal  and 
adjournment  to  six  months  from  date.  Return  to  Wash 
ington  by  Noordam,  leaving  Rotterdam  tomorrow  morning, 
awaiting  confirmation  by  wireless  on  shipboard.  Assume 
attitude  of  ignorance,  merely  announcing  to  Tribunal 
probable  concession  of  dispute  by  United  States. 

RUSSELL  TURNER,, 
Acting  Secretary  of  State. 

GULP.  Well,  Til  be  damned! 

[Pretends    to    receive   message   from    instrument. 
Unfolds  second  cable  and  reads.] 

The  Hague, 
ROBERT  THORBURN,  June  28,  1914. 

35  Wall  Street,  New  York. 

Execute  deed  of  trust,  returning  forthwith,  particu 
lars  from  steamer. 

GULP.    What's  this! 

[GULP  picks  up  cable,  left  by  BULLARD,  compares 
it  with  foregoing,  and  reads.] 

The  Hague,  Holland, 

June  28,  1914. 

WINMER,  New  York. 

Youthful  suffering  acute  attack  dementia  altruistica 
Americana — proposes  deed  of  gift  removing  entire  hold 
ings  from  control — See  Thorburn — Hold  up  deed — Have 
commitment  papers  ready  and  prepare  Sheriff's  Jury  to 
examine  into  sanity. 

OULP.  Well,  Til  be  damned!  Furor  egoisticus  teuton- 
icus. 


186  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

[Calls  PAGE.  Writes  out  pretended  incoming  mes 
sage.  Directs  him  to  hand  it  to  SENATOR  MORSE. 
Reads  other  cablegram.] 

The  Hague,  Holland, 

Miss  ALICE  MORSE,,  June  28,  1914. 

987  Fifth  Avenue, 
New  York  City. 

Returning  with  all  possible  speed.  Something  very 
important  to  ask  you.  Hope  you  won't  sail  until  I  see 
you.  Will  wireless  from  ship.  Love  to  your  mother. 

VICTOR  CHANCE. 
Well,  Fll  be  damned!! 

[BoY  hands  cablegram  to  SENATOR  MORSE,  who  rises, 
puts  on  his  glasses,  reads  and  reads  again.] 

SENATOR  MORSE.  [Turning  to  SIR  RICHARD.]  I  have 
instructions  from  my  government. 

[CuLP,  taking  last  cable,  goes  through  same  "busi 
ness  as  SENATOR  MORSE,  and  reads.] 

The  Hague,  Holland, 

RUSSELL  TURNER,  June  28,  1914. 

Congress  Hall, 

Washington,  D.  C. 
Suspend  State  Department  cables  and  stand  pat  until 

further  from  me 

[CuLP  stops  reading.] 

SENATOR  MORSE.  If  the  Honorable  Court  please,  I  am 
directed  by  my  government  to  request  an  adjournment 
of  this  Tribunal  to  six  months  from  date,  to  announce  the 
probable  concession  of  the  matters  in  dispute  by  the  United 
States,  and  to  return  to  my  country  without  delay. 

[This  announcement  is  followed  by  a  dead  silence.] 

CULP.  [Who  has  listened,  continues  reading.]  Re 
turning  from  Cherbourg  with  little  stranger.  Meet  us  at 
steamer.  MARY. 

[CuLP  speaks.]     Well,  Fll  be  damned!!! 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  187 

[CuLP  holds  the  cablegram  in  his  left  hand,  pauses 
a  moment  in  thought,  raises  his  right  hand  to  his 
right  temple,  as  if  to  scratch  his  head,  and  speaks.] 
GULP.    I've  done  it.    "8ic  semper  tyrannis!" 

[GULP  turns  to  the  door  of  his  private  office  and 
then  with  a  last  look  of  apprehension,  miwed  with 
delight,  toward  the  Court  Room.  Those  in  the 
Court  Room  commence  to  stir.  BULLAED  is  the 
most  excited.  HE  comes,  before  the  others,  to  the 
door  leading  out  of  the  Court  Room,  looks  about, 
raises  his  hand  to  his  chin  and  strides  forward 
lost  in  thought.  GULP,  unseen,  catches  sight  of 
BULLARD,  pushes  open  the  door  of  his  private 
office,  throws  his  head  back  and  laughs.  BUL- 
LARD  hears  him,  goes  up  to  GULP  and  addresses 
him  in  a  challenging  manner.] 
BULLARD.  The  Director  of  Posts  and  Telegraphs  is  a 

friend  of  mine — and 

GULP.  Now,  doesn't  that  beat — the  Dutch!  Bullard! 
"Now  is  the  time  to  undeceive  Omichund."  Although  we 
Dutch  aim  to  be  truly  cosmopolitan,  we  have  our  own 
interests  in  this  country,  as  your  interests  have  reason  to 
know.  /  am  the  Director  of  Posts  and  Telegraphs.  What 
is  the  use  of  being  somebody's  door  and  window  unless  you 
can  look  out  for  yourself.  That  question  applies  to  us  as 
just  as  to  the  United  States.  The  moment  the  home  of 
American  principles  in  Europe  is  violated,  they  will  no 
longer  be  safe  in  your  remotest  interior.  This  sanctuary 
is  your  outpost,  your  citadel,  and  your  Thermopylae ;  with 
us  you  must  fight  it  out  on  this  line  if  freedom  is  to  sur 
vive.  The  situation  in  Europe  six  months  from  now  will 
be  far  different  from  what  it  is  to-day.  That  is  always 
true.  My  wire  just  reports  the  Austrian  Crown  Prince 
shot  dead  in  Serbia!  Our  nations,  you  see,  must  always 
be  ready  now  for  a  "shot  heard  'round  the  world"  and 
be  prepared  against  the  "times  that  try  men's  souls!" 
Nothing  personal,  Mr. — Bullock — [Looking  at  card  BUL- 


188  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

LARD  had  given  him,  and  smiling  innocently] — Billiard  !«*» 
Pardon  me! 

BULLARD.    It'll  be  all  right. 

It'll  be  all  right,  all  right ! 

[GULP  goes  into  the  private  office  leaving  BULLARD 
bewildered.  BULLARD  catches  sight  of  the  hand 
kerchief  which  MARY  dropped — appears  interest 
ed — and  goes  to  pick  it  up.  He  sniffs  the  perfume, 
pauses,  examines  the  initial,  thinks,  and,  suddenly 
staggers,  between  the  doubt  and  dismay  of  a  great 
discovery.} 


CURTAIN. 


ACT  V. 

Before  the  curtain  goes  up,  the  ORCHESTRA  plays  selections 
from  Carmen,  with  emphasis  upon  and  recurrence  to 
the  Ut  from  the  song  at  "The  Smugglers'  Camp/'  sung 
ly  MARY,  and  selections  from  Offenbach's  "Orpheus," 
with  emphasis  upon  the  theme  suggestive  of  "Home, 
Sweet  Home." 


,  „  tssr  , 


ACT  V. 

Library  of  the  residence  of  SENATOR  MORSE,  in  New  York 
City,  ten  minutes  after  eleven  on  the  morning  of  the 
sixth  day  after  the  close  of  ACT  IV. 

Books  in  cases  on  right  and  left.  Desk  at  right  with  elec 
tric  light  upon  it.  Upright  piano  against  wall  at  left. 
Doors  left  and  right;  large  "bay  window  at  back,  the 
curtain  of  which  is  drawn  to  exclude  the  sun.  The  win 
dow  is  open.  An  electric  fan,  resting  upon  the  piano,  is 
in  operation.  The  sounds  of  vehicular  traffic  without 
are  more  audible  than  in  the  first  act.  At  back  of  stage, 
in  the  bay  window,  is  a  cabinet  phonograph.  On  the 
desk  is  a  telephone  and  beside  it  a  small  brass  clock. 
In  left  back  corner,  facing  audience,  is  a  chime  clock, 
resting  on  the  floor.  Photographs,  including  that  of 
VICTOR,  KUSSELL  TURNER,  MARY,  SENATOR  MORSE,  and 
MRS.  MORSE.  VICTOR'S  is  on  piano.  Beside  it  is  a  large, 
full  figure  oil  painting,  in  the  style  of  thirty  years  be 
fore,  of  a  beautiful  girl  of  twenty,  in  stage  costume, 
suggesting  the  well-known  painting  of  Lotta  Faust. 
American  flags  are  conspicuous  in  the  temporary  deco 
ration  for  the  Fourth  of  July.  On  the  walls  are  pictures 
of  Washington,  Hamilton,  Marshall f  Lincoln,  Grant, 
Evarts,  and  Roosevelt.  Thzre  are  group  pictures  of  the 
Bench  of  the  United  States  Supreme  Court  and  of  the 
New  York  Court  of  Appeals.  There  is  also  the  old  print 
of  Webster  addressing  the  United  States  Senate. 

Seated  at  piano,  is  ALICE  MORSE.  As  curtain  rises,  she 
looks  at  VICTOR'S  picture,  and  commences  singing 
"Because."  She  is  nervous. 


192 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 


BECAUSE 

SONG 


Words  * 

UCTO.RD  TESCHEJIACHER 


fVcnrti  vurd*  an4 

Mnir  By 
GUY  d'H.VRDKLOT 


t*«  -  fame, jroa    come      to       me. 

Lars  .      -    que    i'en.  teaiff     ton      pat. . 


I    with    uanght 
comme     rn       iin 


love. 

r  f  - 


And     hold        iny      baud       and     lift 
Le     fol          es    -   pair        te       Ir 


eyes         a  •  Dove. 
vofr         fi.lt    . 


led  through     leal*     and    Joy     lo        Uie«.. 

i    .      .    tre         chantt    el      vltrt  m.       •"<*. 


*\ 


Reprinted  by  permission  of  Chappell  &  Co.,  Ltd., 

41   East  34th  Street,  New  York. 
Copyright,  1902,  by  Chappell  &  Co.,  Ltd. 


TEE  WASTREL  HOARD.  193 

[JAMES  enters  door  at  right.  ALICE  stops  singing. 
JAMES  holds  out  card  tray.  ALICE  does  not  look 
at  the  card.] 

ALICE.  Tell  the  lady  I  am  out  of  town  and  will  not 
return  for  a  week. 

JAMES.    Very  good,  Miss. 

[ALICE  continues  playing  and  singing.  The  tele 
phone  rings.  ALICE  looks  at  the  instrument, 
walks  over  to  the  desk,  sits  in  desk  chair,  and 
looks  at  the  clock.  It  is  ten  after  eleven.  She 
hesitates,  but  finally  takes  the  receiver  off,  but 
puts  it  back  immediately.  She  rings  the  buzzer  at 
side  of  desk.] 

KATY.     [Enters.]    Yes,  Miss! 

ALICE.    Answer  the  telephone  and  repeat  the  name. 

[KATY  takes  off  receiver ,  hesitates,  clears  her  throat 
and  answers.] 

KATY.    Hello.    Yes,  this  is  Senator  Morse's  house. 

ALICE.    Ask  now  who  it  is. 

KATY.  Who  is  this,  please?  You'd  like  to  speak  to 
Miss  Morse? 

ALICE.  Is  it  a  man?  [KATY  shakes  head  in  negative.] 
Then  say  you  didn't  catch  the  name. 

KATY.    I  didn't  catch  the  name. 

ALICE.    What  did  she  say? 

KATY.  She  said  she  didn't  give  her  name.  She  says 
she  said  she  wanted  to  speak  to  Miss  Morse. 

ALICE.  Tell  her  Miss  Morse  is  out  of  town;  you  don't 
know  when  she'll  be  back ;  probably  not  for  a  week. 

KATY.  Miss  Morse  is  out  of  town.  We  don't  know 
when  she'll  be  back,  probably  not  for  a  week.  She  wants 
to  know  where. 

ALICE.  Ask  for  her  name.  No.  Tell  her  you  don;t 
know. 

KATY.  We  don't  know. 


194  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

ALICE.   That's  all,  Katy.   If  a  lady  wants  me,  I'm  out 

KATY.    The  roses  have  come,  Miss. 

ALICE.     Please  arrange  them  for  me  to-day  and  send 
yesterday's  to  the  hospital,  as  usual. 

KATY.    Yes,  Miss. 

ALICE.    [Turning  to  a  number  of  new  books  on  the  ta 
ble.]    And  have  these  books,  and  yesterday's,  and  to-mor 
row's,  sent  to  the  Junior  League. 

KATY.     [Gathering  up  the  books.]     Very  good,  Miss. 

[Exit  KATY.] 

ALICE.  [Looking  at  the  photograph  of  VICTOR.]  Oh, 
dear! 

[ALICE  takes  the  telephone  instrument  with  the  left 
handy  reaches  for  the  desk  clock  with  the  right 
handy  and  marks  off  periods  of  ten  minutes. 
Pushes  clock  away  and  takes  off  receiver.] 

ALICE.  Hello,  operator — Give  me  6000  Chelsea — 
They're  busy? — Well,  try  to  get  them.  [Puts  up  receiver, 
reflects  a  moment,  reaches  for  the  telephone  directory,  finds 
a  number,  and  takes  off  the  receiver.]  Give  me  4900  Broad 
—The  other  number  is  still  busy? — All  right,  get  either 
number — Hello,  French  Line? — Has  the  Rochambeau 
docked  yet?— Call  up  Chelsea  6000?— I  did,  but  the  line 
was  busy — Ten  minutes  ago? 

[The  chimes  strike  once  for  the  quarter  hour.] 

How  long  will  it  take  for  passengers  to  get  away? — Oh, 
the  Custom  House?— 1642  Broad— Thank  you.  Good-bye. 
[Presses  down  holder  with  right  hand,  then  signals  for  the 
operator.]  Give  me  1642  Broad — Custom  House? — How 
long  will  it  take  passengers  to  get  away  from  the  Rocham- 
beau? — Yes,  I'll  wait — Hello,  Inspectors'  Department? 
[The  desk  clock  strikes  once  for  the  quarter  hour.]  How 
long  will  it  take  passengers  to  get  away  from  the  Rocham- 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  195 

beau? — It  depends  upon  what  they  have? — If  it  was  only 
a  diamond  ring? — Might  never  get  away ! — No,  he  wouldn't 
smuggle.  He's  rich — Twenty  minutes?  The  holiday  de 
lays?  [ The  clock  in  the  room  above  strikes  once.]  Thank 
you  very  much.  Good-bye.  [Puts  down  receiver  and 
listens.  The  elevator  is  heard  ascending.  Goes  over  to 
piano,  takes  down  VICTOR'S  picture,  looks  at  it  and  puts  it 
back  quietly.  Looking  at  VICTOR'S  picture.]  Oh,  dear! 

[Enter  MRS.  MORSE  from  door  at  left.  The  loud 
chime  in  the  hall  below  is  heard  as  the  door  opens. 
MRS.  MORSE,  like  most  women  of  her  years,  has 
become  younger  and  more  modern  in  the  period 
that  has  elapsed  since  the  close  of  Act  L] 

MRS.  MORSE.  [MRS.  MORSE  and  ALICE  embrace.]  Oh, 
such  a  crush ! ! !  Yes,  father's  all  right.  He  was  surprised 
you  didn't  come  to  meet  him. 

ALICE.  I  thought  I'd  be  in  the  way,  and  he'd  be  home 
so  soon. 

MRS.  MORSE.  But  he  didn't  come  with  me.  The  Secre 
tary  of  State  took  him  off  to  the  Metropolitan  Club  for  a 
conference.  There's  some  mystery  about  this  Hague  busi 
ness.  We  are  to  receive  all  kinds  of  visitors  without  ques 
tion,  hold  them  here,  and  telephone  him.  I've  given  orders 
that  the  most  questionable  characters  be  sent  up  here,  un 
announced,  and  kept  here Yes — and  no  questions 

asked. 

ALICE.    [Frowns.]    I  hope  he'll  come  home. 

MRS.  MORSE.  Naturally,  my  dear.  But  he  may  go  to 
Washington. 

ALICE.    He  mustn't,  without  seeing  me. 

MRS.  MORSE.  You  could  go  to  the  Club  to  meet  him. 
Shall  I  call  up  and  ask  him  to  let  you  know  when? 

ALICE.  No,  tell  him  to  come  here  first  on  his  way.  He 
mustn't  go. 

MRS.  MORSE.  But  that  may  be  impossible.  You  can 
talk  to  him  over  the  telephone. 


196  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

ALICE.  That  won't  do.  I  wish  to  ask  his  advice.  I  can't 
say  it  over  the  telephone. 

MRS.  MORSE.  Isn't  my  advice  sufficient?  What  can 
it  be? 

ALICE.  I  want  you  both  at  once. — To  ask  whether  I 
may [ALICE  hesitates.} 

MRS.  MORSE.    May  what? 

ALICE.  Consent. 

MRS.  MORSE.    To  what? 

ALICE.    To  be  married. 

MRS.  MORSE.  You  wicked  child!  Who  has  asked  you 
that?  And  you've  told  me  nothing. 

ALICE.    Nobody  has  asked  me. 

MRS.  MORSE.  Then  you  needn't  be  in  such  a  hurry.  Do 
you  expect  anybody  to  ask  you? 

ALICE.  I  don't  know.  Look  at  this.  [Hands  MRS.  MORSE 
cablegram.} 

MRS.  MORSE.  Why,  it's  a  week  old.  Why  didn't  you 
tell  ine?  "Love  to  your  mother!"  Huh! 

ALICE.  You  were  away.  It  seemed  a  flimsy  ground  *  or 
writing.  Do  people  ever  forge  cablegrams? 

MRS.  MORSE.  It's  never  absolutely  safe  to  rely  upon 
them.  But  there  could  be  no  motive  in  this. 

ALICE.  But  the  whole  Hague  business  is  a  mystery. 
What  was  Victor  doing  at  The  Hague? 

MRS.  MORSE.    Hasn't  he  written  you  regularly? 

ALICE.    Yes,  but  it  was  mostly  about  Mary. 

MRS.  MORSE.  Well,  he  was  seeing  Mary.  She  has  writ 
ten  you  frequently. 

ALICE.    I  believe  I  shall  never  marry. 

MRS.  MORSE.  Of  course  not.  Never,  until  the  right  man 
comes. 

ALICE.  I  wish  to  be  free,  to  keep  my  own  individuality, 
to  be  able  to  do  something.  The  kind  of  men  I  know 
wouldn't  permit  that. 

MRS.  MORSE.  There  may  be  a  kind  that  would.  Every 
one  of  them  will  promise  to. 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  197 

ALICE.    A  man's  promise ! 

MRS.  MORSE.  You  are  not  jealous,  are  you?  You  do 
not  distrust  Victor? 

ALICE.  A  woman's  jealousy  never  comes  from  dis 
trust  of  the  man. 

MRS.  MORSE.     Indeed! 

ALICE.    Distrust  destroys  the  love  jealousy  is  based  on. 

MRS.  MORSE.    Not  certainty  as  to  a  man! 

ALICE.  No.  Women  really  know  nothing  about  men. 
But  women  do  know  women.  And  that  is  the  reason  in 
a  woman's  jealousy. 

MRS.  MORSE.  As  a  matter  of  fact,  whether  it  must  be 
so  or  not,  the  sexes  know  very  little  about  one  another. 
You  need  have  no  fear  concerning  Victor. 

ALICE.  I  want  to  be  sure.  There  is  only  one  way  and  that 
is  to  marry  a  man  who  has  work  to  do,  a  purpose  in  life. 

MRS.  MORSE.    Victor  has  his  property  to  look  after. 

ALICE.  What  a  purpose!  I  don't  see  how  any  true 
woman's  affection  for  a  merely  rich  man  can  overcome  her 
feeling  of  anger  and  contempt.  They  might  be  useful,  but 
they  refuse. 

MRS.  MORSE.  Victor's  grand-parents  made  their  way  to 
wealth  from  abject  poverty.  You  never  can  tell  when  old 
family  traits  will  show  themselves  again.  At  all  events, 
people  who  insist  on  marrying  one  another  just  for  them 
selves  usually  wake  up  to  find  in  one  another  hosts  of  dis 
agreeable  ancestors.  If  Victor  doesn't  develop  the  real  man 
and  throw  off  the  incubus  of  money,  I  haven't  judged  him 
right. 

ALICE.  That's  a  hope  it  will  take  years  to  justify. 
Money  is  no  guarantee  of  breed.  It  conceals  the  real  marks 
Of  gentle  birth  and  calls  for  actual  tests. 

MRS.  MORSE.  His  mother  was  accused  of  marrying 
tnoney. 

ALICE.  She  didn't  know  I  She  was  a  poor  girll  She 
was  a  singer! 

MRS.  MORSE.    And  she  never  forgot  it.    Thousands  of 


198  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

poor  girls  were  benefited  by  her  charities — the  sweetest 
"uses  of  adversity!"  The  mother  was  an  admirable 
woman !  I  have  always  admired  VICTOR  for  being  what  he 
is  with  such  a  man  for  a  father. 

ALICE.    Why  didn't  she  divorce  him? 

MRS.  MORSE.    She  didn't  believe  in  divorce. 

ALICE.  But  she  was  not  happy,  and  nobody  spoke  well 
of  the  man. 

MRS.  MORSE.  There  was,  undoubtedly,  a  good  reason 
for  the  disaster  of  their  married  life — which  she  knew. 
There  always  is  a  reason  and  love  seldom  remains  blind 
long. 

ALICE.  She  had  everything  except  the  one  unpurchas- 
able  thing.  There  you  have  it.  If  a  woman  must  become, 
as  most  women  must,  what  the  man  she  marries  makes 
her,  she  at  least  ought  to  use  independent  judgment  in 
choosing  the  man. 

MRS.  MORSE.  I've  studied  Victor  and  I  can  see — I  see 
nothing  but  good.  I  take  the  boy  as  I  find  him ! 

ALICE.  He  has  not  been  tried.  I  want  a  man  who  has 
his  bread  and  butter  to  look  after  now.  I'm  tired  to  death 
of  the  routine  of  a  rich  girl's  life — one  round  of  formality 
and  unreality — disgusting  vanity  and  sickening  deferences 
— and — riding  to  death  one  hobby  after  another,  and, 
in  search  of  novelty,  touching  here  and  there  on  the  bor 
derland  of  vice — and—  -  Oh !  the  wonderful  force  of  girl 
hood—before  the  harder  nature  has  had  time  to  set — all 
misdirected,  all  misspent !  I'll  not  stand  with  women  whom 
fortune  has  made  so  complaisant  at  the  wickedness  and 
the  social  crime  about  them  that  they  have  lost  the  very 
power  to  blush.  The  desire  to  appear — to  put  on  a  false 
face  before  the  painful  realities  of  life — that  characterized 
the  years  preceding  the  French  Revolution,  that  has  spread 
with  our  instantaneous  communication  from  one  end  of 
the  country  to  the  other — together  with  sentimental  self- 
suppression,  has  destroyed  the  self-sustaining  self.  When 
I  contemplate  the  aristocratic  leprosy  that  surrounds  us 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  199 

and  threatens  to  spread,  I  wish  with  all  my  heart  I  had 
been  born  a  working  girl.  See  what  deprivation  did  for 
Mary.  All  women  ought  to  work,  for  their  own  sakes,  as 
well  as  for  other  people's.  Those  who  have  ambitions 
haven't  the  wherewithal  to  support  them,  and  those  who 
have  the  wherewithal  haven't  ambitions  worthy  of  sup 
port.  There's  abundant  work  for  Americans  to  do ! 

MRS  MORSE  Your  father  has  always  said  that  people 
with  money  and  without  brains  believe  that  people  with 
brains  and  without  money  were  born  to  work  for  them. 

ALICE.  The  world  is  supporting  too  many  loafers  of 
both  sexes.  We  are  like  blind  fish  in  a  beautiful  bowl ! 

MRS.  MORSE.  All  women  who  haven't  children  ought  to 
work — at  something! 

ALICE.  Bringing  up  children  is  work.  A  woman  who 
contributes  wrell-bred  children  to  society  has  done  about 
enough — judged  by  fair  standards.  The  alternative  ought 
to  be  wage-work. 

MRS.  MORSE.  [Half  pleased,  half  flabbergasted,  and  as 
if  not  daring  to  encourage.]  Don't  be  foolish,  child.  A 
working  girl ! — to-day — and  up  at  auction — to  any  bidder ! 
Why !  You  are  only  a  child. 

ALICE.  I've  made  up  by  observation  for  my  lack  of  ex 
perience.  A  new  world-mind  was  born  to  my  generation. 
Society  has  been  getting  men  and  women  into  tasks  that 
nature  didn't  intend  for  either.  As  a  result  the  family 
wage,  with  the  burden  and  the  opportunity  of  earning  it, 
has  disappeared.  I've  observed  that  some  women  ennoble 
their  men  and  that  others  reduce  them  to  their  worst.  As 
we  do  unto  our  men,  so  do  we  unto  ourselves.  My  man,  if 
I  marry,  must  always  be  his  own  best  and  always  help  me 
to  be  mine.  And  he  must  earn  a  family  wage  and  feel,  as  / 
shall,  what  it  means  to  me  and  to  others — the  importance 
not  only  of  the  money  but  what  it  means  in  welfare  value 
for  all  wage-earners.  Without  such  a  feeling  the  great 
love  that  comes  to  the  great  poor,  face  to  face  with  the 
great  meaning  of  life,  cannot  exist. 


200  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

MRS.  MORSE.    That's  a  pretty  sentiment,  but 

ALICE.  I'll  not  assert  or  concede  that  for  one  thing  all 
else  must  be  endured — the  one  thing  in  a  woman  which 
most  men  both  deplore  and  desire. 

MRS.  MORSE.    Among  well-bred  people 

ALICE.  Where  are  they?  Breeding,  though  proved  to 
be  the  most  important  thing  in  modern  times,  is  the  least 
thought  of.  An  ill-bred  race 

MRS.  MORSE.  Alice!  Have  those — Mother  Hubbard 
lectures  taught  you  this? 

ALICE.    Conceived  in  selfish  passion 

MRS.  MORSE.    Hush ! 

ALICE.     Spurred  on  by  drink,  then,  unconscious 

MRS.  MORSE.    Child ! 

ALICE.  Or  liquor-fanned  lovers ! — vainly  seeking  satis 
faction  through  indulgence  of  self — ! 

MRS.  MORSE.  Goodness !  [As  if  resolved  to  see  the 

argument  through.]  Victor  no  longer  drinks. 

ALICE.  No  real  gentleman  drinks  now;  soon  no  real 
man  will;  no  American  can  be  a  true  citizen  without  re 
nouncing  his  personal  liberty  under  His  Alcoholic  Maj 
esty.  What  the  world  needs  is  a  better  balance  of  soul 
and  body.  Marriage  isn't  a  thing  to  be  romantic  about; 

it  lasts  too  long — and  its  effects !  That  which  is  to 

come  in  the  future,  must  be  conceived  rather  in  the  soul 
than  in  the  body.  Inebriate  conception 

MRS.  MORSE.    Goodness! 

ALICE.  Yes,  goodness.  The  only  key  to  happiness — for 
ourselves  and  others — is  a  life  of  service.  Only  the  greater 
love  can  be  "woman's  whole  existence." 

MRS.  MORSE.    Or  man's,  for  that  matter,  I  imagine. 

ALICE.  I  have  made  up  my  mind.  I  shall  not  marry 
anyone  who  has  money.  It  has  come  to  this  with  women 
as  with  all  other  things  in  this  country,  that  they  go  upon 
the  auction  block,  are  disposed  of  to  the  highest  bidder,  and 
become  a  chattel  to  a  lord  and  master  who  has  bought  and 
paid  for  them.  That  is  where  political  reform  should  be- 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  201 

gin,  and  where  women  should  make  their  fight  for  equality. 
I  shall  insist  upon  partnership  really  equal.  I  have  told 
Victor  that.  I  have  talked  him  to  death  on  that  subject. 

MRS.  MORSE.  If  you  really  love  a  man,  you'll  never 
ask  whether  he  has  much  or  little. 

ALICE.  But  that  is  just  what  I  am  doing.  I  want  to 
marry  Victor.  I  don't  wish  to  add  to  the  tragedies  of  those 
who  have  tried  for  love  and  failed.  But  what  greater  trag 
edy  is  there  on  earth  than  an  unhappy  marriage?  I — I 
am — afraid. 

MRS.  MORSE.  Of  what?  Woman's  whims  are  certainly 
ruining  this  generation. 

ALICE.  That  I  shouldn't  be  able  to  hold  him.  It  is  not 
easy  to  combine  self-realization  and  freedom  with  perma 
nent  loyalty  and  surrender.  Don't  you  suppose  the  myriads 
of  woman  failures  sought  to  make  the  right  adjustment? 

MRS.  MORSE.  It  is  the  man  who  seems  the  supremest 
egoist  who  most  suffers  for  the  want  of  the  woman  with 
whom  he  can  abandon  self  in  blended  unity.  If  he  suc 
ceeds 

ALICE.  There  must  be  no  "if."  I  don't  want  a  trial 
marriage. 

MRS.  MORSE.  My  dear  child,  all  marriages  are  trials. 
Remember  that  if  men  and  women  were  faultless  there 
wouldn't  be  any  marriages.  People  don't  love  one  another 
because  they  are  perfect,  but  because  they  can  understand 
and  sympathize  with  one  another's  faults.  But  in  the  rich, 
absorbing,  impersonal  struggle,  trials  become  joys.  You 
should  have  more  faith  in  Victor  and  in  yourself. 

ALICE.  I'd  like  to.  That's  just  what  I  wish.  To  me  a 
woman's  love  means  the  one  achievement  in  her  life  worth 
while.  It  comes  but  once.  The  woman's  choice  of  the  man 
should  study  his  fitness  to  become  the  father  of  her  chil 
dren,  to  worship  her  as  their  mother,  and  to  be  tested  by 
her  and  by  them  and  be  found  always  a  man!  I'd  have 
Victor  love  me  always  as  we  love  in  dread  of  losing.  That 
is  to  love  wisely  and  well.  But  there  are  the  facts. 


202  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

MRS.  MORSE.    What  facts?    Victor  loves  you. 

ALICE.  That's  the  worst  of  it.  I  know  he  loves  me,  yet 
he  has  been  chasing  Mary  all  over  Europe. 

MRS.  MORSE.  Better  the  fascination  before  than  after 
marriage.  Mary  fascinates  everybody.  If  men  weren't 
susceptible,  there  would  be  no  marriages.  Victor  is  com 
ing  back  to  you. 

ALICE.  Because  Mary  doesn't  want  him.  That's  no 
satisfaction.  To  be  happy  in  giving  one's  best  without  re 
quital  is  a  prodigy  no  human  being  ever  accomplished. 
And  suppose  she  should  change  her  mind? 

MRS.  MORSE.    Have  you  known  her  to? 

ALICE.    Sixty  times  in  one  minute.    Her  fad 

MRS.  MORSE.  About  trifles.  That's  temperament.  She 
is  the  most  steadfast  of  mortals — even  in  her  whims — 
which  seem  to  have  gripped  you.  And  she  is  your  friend. 

ALICE.  Friendship  should  not  be  strained;  friends 
should  be  frank. 

MRS.  MORSE.    Mary  is  your  friend ! 

ALICE.    And  I  am  to  keep  Victor  by  her  sufferance.  She 

defies  conventions I  loathe  people  who  always  want 

something  extra — just  something  that  decent  living  and 
the  common  welfare  can't  afford.  When  I  see  the  way  per 
fectly  healthy  people  rely  on  automobiles,  I  wonder  what 
legs  were  given  for,  and  fear  that  evolution  may  take  them 
away  again.  If  nobody  had  surplus  means  to  have  them, 
common  means  of  getting  about  and  getting  on  would  suffer 
less  from  thefts  of  public  funds ! 

MRS.  MORSE.  Nonsense !  For  any  distance,  nowadays, 
it  is  either  the  limousine  or  flat-foot  in  the  cattle  cars. 
Transportation  is  the  keystone  of  the  arch  of  democracy 
but  the  arch  of  democracy  is  nowadays  pretty  much  broken. 
Mary  sees  the  times  as  they  are,  and  governs  herself  ac 
cordingly.  As  a  result  she  is  a  success;  she  is  fashion 
itself.  I  know  now  you  are  in  love.  You  think  everybody 
is  in  love  with  a  man  because  you  are.  Mary  loves  Russell. 

ALICE.     She  might  have  married  him  two  years  ago. 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  203 

I  have  secured  a  reminder  for  Victor.  [ALICE  indicates  the 
picture  in  stage  costume.] 

MRS.  MORSE.    Who  is  that — not  Mary? 

ALICE.  No.  It  is  "Sweet  Lily  Earle" — just  before  she 
changed  her  mind  and  married  Victor's  father. 

MRS.  MORSE.    You  are  in  love,  rest  assured  of  that. 

ALICE.  Is  it  selfish  to  save  two  people  from  foreordained 
misery  ? 

MRS.  MORSE.  [Putting  her  arms  about  ALICE  and  kiss 
ing  her  upon  the  forehead.]  I  suppose  you  are  above  such 
a  thing  as  jealousy,  too !  You  may  well  be — and  you  may 
spare  Victor  the  warning.  Mary  loves  Russell,  and  Victor 
doesn't  love  Mary,  and  Russell  does. 

ALICE.  He  keeps  writing  every  day,  but  does  he  ever 
hear  from  her? — Never! 

MRS.  MORSE.  Whenever  he  wishes  now.  Let  us  forget 
useless  worriment.  [Lightly.]  By  the  way,  I  have  a  new 
record 

[MRS.  MORSE  goes  to  the  cabinet,  adjusts  a  record  of 

a  beautiful  soprano  voice  singing,  "Absent."] 
Sometimes,  between  long  shadows  on  the  grass, 
The  little  truant  waves  of  sunlight  pass, 
My  eyes  grow  dim  with  tenderness,  the  while, 

Thinking  I  see  thee — thinking 

I  see  thee  smile ! 

And  sometimes,  in  the  twilight  gloom,  apart, 
The  tall  trees  whisper,  whisper  heart  to  heart, 
From  my  fond  lips  the  eager  answers  fall, 

Thinking  I  hear  thee — thinking 

I  hear  thee  call ! 

[During  this  song  ALICE  becomes  more  and  more  absent 
and  MRS.  MORSE  turns  the  record  to  play  the  song  on  the 
other  side  without  awakening  ALICE  from  her  r every.  Dur 
ing  the  playing  of  the  second  song,  "Forgotten"  the  grip 
of  ALICE  upon  her  theories  of  love  and  life  yields  to  pal 
pable  love sickness. ,] 


204 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD 
FORGOTTEN 


EDOBXE  COWL** 


For.goUenyou?WeH,if  for.get.ting        Be  thinking  all     U»  day  How  U* 


long  hours  drag  since  you    left   me_    (Days  seem  years  with  you       a  .  way.-)        Or 


hear- ing  thro1  all  the  strange  bab.ble         Of   voi  -  ces,nowgrave,naw  gay,  On-ly 


your  voice: Can  this  be  for. get.ting?     Yet     I    have  for.goUen,you  say  Or 


. 

counting  each  moment  with  longing,       Till  the  onexvhen  ill  see  you    a.gain.  If 


P 


this)     be    for.get.ting,you're   right,  dear,  And        \    have  for.got-ten  you    then. 


got. ten  you?  Well,    if     for  .   get  .  ting 


with  eyes  that  mark     nev  .  er     a        feat  .    ure,  Save 


yours  as  you  last  looked  at     ma  Fcr  .  goi_ten  you?  Well,  if  for.  get.ting         Be 


yearn  .  ing  with  all        my    heart.  With   a.      long,  ing,  half  pain  and  half 


the   time   when  we  nev .  er  shall    par 


wild    wish  to    see   you  and  hear     you,  To  be     held     in  your  arms         a  . , 


gain.  If      this    be  for_getting,you¥e  right, dear,  And      I    have  foi^got-ten  you/ 


then. 


For.  got. ten. j  '.you/    \sayl 

Copyright  MDCCCXCIV  by  Oliver  Ditson  Company.    Inter 
national  Copyright  Secured.     Used  by  permission  of 
Eugene   Cowles  and   Oliver   Ditson   Company. 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  205' 

ALICE.    What  a  lovely  voice.    I  don't  recognize  it. 

MRS.  MORSE.    You  have  heard  it  many  times. 

ALICE.  Never.  I  should  have  recognized  it  again  any 
time.  We  must  buy  some  more. 

MRS.  MORSE.    You  can't. 

ALICE.    Why? 

MRS.  MORSE.    There  aren't  any  more. 

ALICE.  They'll  never  stop  making  new  ones  of  that 
voice.  [Absently.]  The  song — is — wonderful! 

MRS.  MORSE.  That  was  made  especially.  It  was  the 
only  one  made.  No  others  will  be  made. 

ALICE.    How  did  you  get  it? 

MRS.  MORSE.  Russell  gave  it  to  me  yesterday  in  Wash 
ington.  He  is  to  be  here  today.  He  wished  the  record  to 
be  here.  It  is  Mary's  voice. 

ALICE.  I'm  ashamed  of  myself.  I  wish  Victor  would 
come. 

MRS.  MORSE.  She  never  wrote  to  him  or  communicated 
with  him  while  the  other  woman  lived — not  even  when  it 
was  all  over.  But  he  understood — and  he  loved  her  all  the 
more  for  it.  We  can  have  no  love  worth  having  without 
these  tests.  I  believe  they  will 

ALICE.  But  I've  no  chance  for  a  test,  no  basis  for  com 
radeship,  no  chance  for  a  man  who  needs  anything. 

MRS.  MORSE.  If  he  loves  you,  he'll  need  you,  and  if  he 
can't  get  you,  he'll  live  in  hell,  and — [The  elevator  is  heard 
ascending.  MRS.  MORSE  pauses  an  instant,  and  both  listen, 
as  MRS.  MORSE  continues] — that's  the  severest  test  in  life. 
And  Mary  has  been  gone — [Enter  MARY  from  door  at  left, 
shabbily  dressed.  She  wears  a  mantilla  on  her  head  and 
carries  a  Spanish  fan.  Her  costume  is  piped  here  and  there 
with  red,  white,  and  blue.  There  is  a  wide  belt  of  grey 
cloth.  The  neck  is  quite  open] — Why,  you  dear  child! 

ALICE.  [In  double  surprise — that  it  isn't  VICTOR — and 
that  it  is  MARY.]  Mary! 


206  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

[The  THREE  form  a  hugging  group  in  the  center  of 
the  stage.  MRS.  MORSE  and  MARY  weep.  MARY  is 
quite  overcome.  After  a  moment,  they  separate.] 

MRS.  MORSE.  [As  MRS.  MORSE  and  MARY  dry  their 
eyes.]  Why,  Mary !  You  are  crying !  I  guess  I  am,  too ! 

MARY.  /  am  not  ashamed  to  cry  over  you!  [Noticing 
that  Alice  has  not  shed  tears.]  Why,  Alice,  how  strong 
you've  grown!  Why,  you're  not  crying! 

ALICE.     [Concealing  the  rankle.]    I  don't  want  to. 

MARY.  [Gently  and  not  suspecting  the  cause.]  Well, 
if  you  don't  want  to,  you  needn't,  I  hope  you  never  will. 

MRS.  MORSE.  Mary,  dear.  What  can  I  do — [MARY 
straightens  and  draws  back] — to  show  you  how  glad  I  am? 
[MARY  is  brimful  of  cheerfulness.] 

MARY.  Oh!  [Looking  down  at  her  costume.]  This 
garb !  I  had  forgotten !  You  may — find  me  a  man. 

MRS.  MORSE.    A  man !    How  do  you  mean? 

MARY.  [Very  seriously.]  I'll  take  the  one  you  find — 
[Very  cheerfully] — if  he  asks  me  right. 

MRS.  MORSE.  One  came  over  from  Washington  yester 
day,  was  to  have  met  Senator  Morse,  but  said  he'd  meet 
him  here.  He  didn't  wish  to  intrude  upon  the  reunion. 
Alice  had  the  same  notion.  A  very  satisfying  reputation 
after  thirty-three  years  of  marriage — if  it  were  real. 

MARY.   You  know  you  are  models. 

MRS.  MORSE.  But  not  to  be  copied.  Why,  here  is  even 
my  own  daughter.  She  never  intends  to  marry.  She  wants 
to  do  something. 

MARY.     Don't,  Alice,  don't. 

ALICE.    The  advice  of  the  successful — "Don't." 

MARY.  The  endorsement  of  the  unsuccessful  is  most 
impressive — when  they  care  to  speak.  Stay  at  home  with 
your  mother — until  you  marry.  Please,  do.  I  love  you  so 
much,  and  I  want  you  to. 

ALICE.    Your  mother  wanted  you  to,  but  you  didn't. 

MARY.  I  had  no  sooner  left  home  than  I  choked  with 
regret.  But  it  was  too  late.  I  have  been  "  ?mid  pleasures, 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  20? 

and  palaces/7  but  I  have  wanted  my  mother  every  hour 
since  I  left  home,  and  I  made  up  my  mind  to  go  back  and 
tell  her  so — but  not  until  she  could  be  proud  of  her  daugh 
ter,  after  it  all.  What  she  would  think  always  guided  me. 

ALICE.    She  has  always  been  proud  of  you. 

MARY.  I  don't  mean  fondly  proud,  but  proudly  proud. 
Achievement  is  the  only  thing  that  justifies  what  I  have 
done.  The  power  to  rise  above  circumstances  is  the  one 
hope  of  the  woman  who  leaves  the  beaten  path.  What  must 
follow  the  failure  to  do  that  is  too  horrible  to  think  about. 
I  have  looked  too  far  beneath  the  surface  of  life  to  feel  that 
I  have  deserved  better  than  the  thousands  who  suffer  every 
thing.  It  is  the  yearning  for  better  things  that  makes  them 
stake  all  upon  their  frail  power.  How  often  it  is  in  vain ! 
Natures  that  are  restless  and  full  of  striving  are  full  of 
danger !  I  have  felt  it  all  the  time,  and  I  kept  on  merely  be 
cause  I  had  an  object  and  the  world  gives  opportunities  to 
women  who  tread  on  dangerous  ground  which  nice  girls  do 
not  enjoy  in  this  wonderful,  refined,  male  civilization 
of  ours!  I  see  my  error  now.  A  moment  came — when — 
I  saw  things  white  and  clear.  I  couldn't  think  of  my 
parents'  home  as  my  home,  just  because  it  was  not  as 
bright  and  the  horizon  was  not  as  broad  as  family  life's 
should  be.  It  was  for  this  petty  obstacle  which  I  had  it  in 
me  to  remove  that  I  made  the  girl's  fatal  mistake.  I  held 
lightly  what  was  near  and  dear  to  me.  God  help  the  girl 
who  breaks  away  from  her  family  to  seek  a  bigger  love  in 
the  outside  world.  When  a  girl  loses  the  touch  of  a  moth 
er's  hand,  and  has  no  mother's  breast  to  sob  upon,  she  is 
hopelessly  adrift.  God  help  her,  I  say,  for  this  modern 
world  won't,  though  she  be  an  angel  sent  from  Heaven, 
bearing  its  salvation,  and  God  bring  her  safe  into  a  home 
and  family  of  her  own  and  the  love  of  a  good  strong  man. 

MRS.  MORSE.  That's  true.  [Putting  her  arm  about 
ALICE'S  neck.]  Don't  you  suppose  your  parents  thought 
all  these  things  out?  All  parents  do. 

ALICE.    Mother,  dear! 


208  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

MRS.  MORSE.  You  were  saved,  my  darling,  from  all 
danger,  when  yon  were  a  mere  baby.  You  were  then  aa 
self-willed  as  a  mule.  For  twenty  minutes  we  coaxed, 
commanded,  cajoled,  and  threatened  to  make  you  pick  up  a 
doll  you  had  thrown  on  the  floor.  Then  I  told  you  the 
story  of  the  oak  tree  and  the  violet.  They  grew  side  by 
side  in  a  forest.  When  the  wind  came,  the  violet  bent  upon 
its  stem,  but  the  sturdy  oak  stood  stiff.  The  leaves  moaned 
and  pleaded :  "Don't  be  headstrong.  Think  of  us,  your  chil 
dren.  Let  us  live."  The  giant  oak  would  look  down  upon 
the  tender  violet  with  scorn,  and  would  pay  no  heed.  Then, 
one  day,  there  came  a  stronger  wind  than  ever  before  and  it 
blew  down  the  giant  oak.  But  when  the  sun  came  out,  the 
gentle  violet  was  fresher  and  more  beautiful  than  before. 
"Oh,  dear,"  said  the  oak,  "I  am  blown  down  and  can  never 
get  up,  while  you,  little  violet,  by  giving  in  to  the  breeze, 
have  come  through  without  harm.  I  wish  I  had  yielded  in 
time."  The  moment  the  point  of  the  story  was  made,  you 
reached  down,  picked  up  the  doll  and  handed  it  to  me.  You 
have  never  been  a  bit  of  trouble  since. 

MARY.  Alice  was  ready  for  that  story  then.  I  am  ready 
for  it,  now — for  the  first  time  in  my  life.  [MARY  smile*, 
reflects,  turns  away — then  to  MRS.  MORSE.]  Perhaps 
Alice  is  ready  again.  [The  elevator  is  heard  ascending.] 
How  is  Mr.  Chance,  Mrs.  Morse? 

[ALICE  exceeds  the  others  in  expectancy.] 

ALICE.     [With  apparent  difficulty  of  utterance.]     He 
has  been  in  Europe.    Didn't  you  see  him  there? 
[Enter  VICTOR.] 

MARY.  The  best  source  of  information  about  a  gentle 
man  is  the  gentleman  himself. 

VICTOR.    Three  to  one. 

MARY.    Too  many  by  two. 

VICTOR.  [Indicating  the  holiday  decorations.]  No,  I 
am  "The  Great  and  Glorious  Fourth."  Eh! 

MARY.    Modestly  yielding  to  the  ladies ! 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  209 

VICTOR.  I  am  delighted  to  see  you  all  again,  Mrs.  Morse 
and  Alice.  [Shakes  hands  with  both.] 

ALICE.    And  Mary ? 

VICTOR.    Is  the  most  wonderful  girl  in  the  world. 

MARY.  I've  been  arranging  Victor's  affairs  for  him. 
He's  going  to  settle  down  and  make  a  home  for  himself. 

ALICE.     Is  he  the  man? 

MARY.    Oh,  no.  You  goose.  Friends  never  marry. 

ALICE.    Indeed ! 

MARY.    Friendship — "should  be  made  of  sterner  stuff." 

[The  elevator  is  heard  ascending.] 

VICTOR.  It  brought  us  back  to  all  of  you  on  the  same 
day. 

[Enter  EUSSELL  from  door  at  left.  He  looks  as  if 
he  had  lost  sleep.  He  has  overheard  VICTOR'S 
speech.  He  sees  the  group  and  stops,  unmanned. 
MARY  casts  down  her  eyes  and  remains  motion 
less  for  a  moment.  The  others  look  at  the  two. 
MARY  raises  her  eyes,  puts  out  her  hand,  and 
speaks  almost  inaudibly.  Throughout  the  rest  of 
the  play,  MARY  "acts."  Her  lightness  of  heart  is, 
however,  assumed  by  reason  of  the  necessity  of 
concealing  her  real  emotions  from  all  ~bui  KITS- 
SELL.  At  surprised  moments,  she  lets  it  appear 
that  she  is  under  restraint.  BUSSELL'S  conquest 
of  the  green-eyed  monster  is  gradual.  In  his 
speech  he  has  to  contend  with  a  dryness  of  the 
mouth,  evidenced  "by  attempts  to  moisten  his 
tongue  and  the  roof  of  his  mouth.  After  the  ex 
change  of  greetings,  MRS.  MORSE  takes  VICTOR  and 
ALICE  to  a  window  for  a  moment.  RUSSELL,  seiz 
ing  the  occasion,  turns,  excited,  to  MARY.] 

MARY.    [With  a  nod  of  caution.]    Mr.  Turner. 

RUSSELL.    You  didn't  meet  me. 

MARY.    I  changed  my  mind  about  the  steamer. 


210  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

RUSSELL.  But  your  name  wasn't  on  any  list.  I  have 
searched  them  all. 

MARY.    Have  you  the  Deutschland  list? 

[RUSSELL  draws  from  his  pocket  a  number  of  steam 
ship  lists  and  hands  one  to  MARY.  MARY  finds  a 
page  and  indicates  it  to  RUSSELL.  RUSSELL  looks 
at  the  list  with  her.] 

RUSSELL.  That's  the  second  cabin  list  of  the  Deutsch 
land.  What  do  you  mean? 

MARY.     See  here — [MARY  points  to  a  name] — Frau 

T R—  — ;   just    see   how    they've    spelled   it.     Frau 

T rimer — und — [MARY    quickly    crumples    the    list    and 
clenches  it  in  her  right  hand] — I  sailed  under  that  name. 

RUSSELL.    In  the  second  cabin? 

MARY.    Yes. 

[RUSSELL  turns  to  VICTOR.    MARY  looks  on  during 

the  conversation  from  under  her  lashes.] 

RUSSELL.  [As  if  calling  VICTOR  back  to  be  grilled.] 
On  what  boat  did  you  come? 

VICTOR.  [Turning  casually  from  the  window  and 
starting  to  walk  back  toward  MARY  and  RUSSELL.]  The 
Rochambeau. 

RUSSELL.    Your  name  was  not  on  the  sailing  list? 

VICTOR.  We  don't  place  our  names  on  sailing  lists  any 
more. 

RUSSELL.    Nor  a  false  name? 

VICTOR.  Not  any.  No  steamship  man  would  insist 
upon  it. 

RUSSELL.    Where  did  you  sail  from? 

VICTOR.    Havre. 

RUSSELL.    You  went  there  from  Paris? 

VICTOR.    No,  from  The  Hague. 

RUSSELL.    You  went  to  attend  the  Tribunal? 

VICTOR.    Not  exactly — Mary  was  there. 

RUSSELL.    You  went  with  her? 

VICTOR.  I  followed  her  from  St.  Petersburg. 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  211 

[  RUSSELL  turns  to  MARY,  who  raises  her  head  and 
then  her  eyes  demurely.} 

RUSSELL.    Mr.  Chance  has  been  very  kind  to  you. 

MARY.    Devotion  itself. 

RUSSELL.  You  have  seen  a  good  deal  of  one  another  in 
Europe? 

MARY.  At  Monte  Carlo — at  my  debut.  [MARY  gives 
Russell  a  meaning  glance.}  In  Butterfly — he  was  there — 
a  wandering  spirit, 

RUSSELL.    Are  you  very  fond  of  him? 

[MRS.  MORSE     and  ALICE  rejoin  RUSSELL,  MARY, 
and  VICTOR.] 

MARY.  He's  the  nicest,  kindest,  and  most  generous  boy 
in  the  world.  I  just  longed  to  anchor  him  to  a  hearthstone. 

[ALICE  winces;  MRS.  MORSE  pats  her  on  the  back.] 

RUSSELL.    And  you,  Mr.  Chance,  did  you  respond? 

VICTOR.    It  grew  on  me — until 

RUSSELL.   Did  you  bring  anything  over  with  you? 
VICTOR.  Yes.    I've  had  it  a  year,  but  I've  been  keeping 
it  dark.    I've  been  afraid  to  tell. 

[Enter  CORTRIGHT  unceremoniously  from  door  at 
right.} 

CORTRIGHT.    Well,  you  can  tell  it  to  me. 

VICTOR.    Who  are  you,  pray? 

CORTRIGHT.  Here's  my  card.  I'm  a  special  officer  of 
the  Secret  Service,  assigned  to  the  New  York  Custom 
House.  Here's  my  badge. 

VICTOR.    What  can  we  do  for  you? 

CORTRIGHT.  Is  there  anybody  who  lives  here  that  came 
by  the  Rochambeau  that  landed  today? 

VICTOR.    Nobody  that  lives  here.    Why  do  you  ask? 

CORTRIGHT.  Well,  we  had  a  telephone  inquiry  about  a 
party  that  was  passing  through  the  customs  with  only  a 
solitaire  diamond  to  declare.  We  looked  up  the  declara- 


212  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

tions  and  found  there  was  nothing  to  correspond  with  that, 
so  we  thought  we'd  inquire.  I  traced  the  telephone  num 
ber  down  and  here's  where  it  brought  me. 

RUSSELL.    Aren't  you  very  zealous? 

VICTOR.    Over-efficiency,  I'd  call  it. 

CORTRIGHT.    It  is  often  worth  while. 

VICTOR.    For  one  diamond? 

CORTRIGHT.    Sure. 

VICTOR.    Oh,  I  see.    I  see. 

CORTRIGHT.    No,  you  don't  see. 

VICTOR.  Really?  Mr.  Boughtright,  what  would  you 
rather  have  now  than  anything  else  in  the  world? 

CORTRIGHT.  [Eagerly.}  A  little  white  house  in  the 

country,  within  access,  for  my  wife  and  children 

[Stops  suddenly.]  Say !  Look  here !  What  are  you  trying 
to  do  with  me?  My  name's  Cortright,  not  Boughtright.  I 
suppose  you  think  I  knew  and  let  you  pass  to  settle  with 
you  privately.  Look  out,  young  man,  or  some  smart  crook 
will  have  you  paying  him  blackmail.  It  was  the  Depart 
ment  sent  me.  It's  my  duty.  I'm  after 

VICTOR.    I  meant  no 

CORTRIGHT.  No,  sir.  The  courtesies  of  the  Port  don't 
go  now.  You've  got  to  see  the  State  Department  about 
that.  I'm  from  the  Treasury  Department. 

VICTOR.  But  you  are  extremely  courteous.  Can  we  do 
nothing  further  for  you? 

CORTRIGHT.  Excuse  me,  but  I'd  like  to  know  who 
called  up  the  Custom  House  and  gave  that  information. 

ALICE.    I  called  up  and  asked  for  information. 

CORTRIGHT.  It's  the  same  thing.  Every  question  is  a 
clue. 

ALICE.    Really? 

CORTRIGHT.  Sure — so  is  a  denial.  Even  the  most  skil 
ful  liar  can't  resist  the  temptation  to  tell  half-truths. 

VICTOR.    Is  that  all  you  wish  to  know? 

CORTRIGHT.     No.     We  got  special  advices  from  the 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  213 

other  side  to  watch  all  arrivals  this  week.    I'll  have  to  ask 
the  young  lady  who  she  was  expecting. 

ALICE.     [Pointing  to  VICTOR.]     This  gentleman. 

COBTEIGHT.  So,  now.  Did  you  come  by  the  Rocham- 
beau? 

VICTOR.     I  did. 

COETRIGHT.  Did  you  bring  anything  to  declare?  I  want 
to  warn  you  how  you  answer.  It's  a  criminal  offense,  and 
they  don't  let  anybody  off  nowadays  with  only  a  fine.  Im 
prisonment  follows  every  conviction. 

MARY.    Is  it  too  late  to  make  a  declaration? 

CORTRIGHT.  What  d'ye  mean,  a  declaration?  Did  you 
come  with  this  gentleman? 

RUSSELL.    I'll  answer  for  the  lady. 

CORTRIGHT.     'Tis  a  lady  we're  after. 

MARY.    No,  I'll  answer  for  myself.    I  did  not. 

CORTRIGHT.    Your  style  of  dress  looks  suspicious. 

[RUSSELL  cautions  CORTRIGHT.] 

RUSSELL.    Be  careful  what  you  say. 
CORTRJGHT.    Women  coming  from  Europe  don't  dress 
poorly  for  any  good  purpose.    Women  are  born  smugglers ! 
MARY.    I  came  by  the  Deutschland. 

[MARY  hands  the  sailing  list  to  RUSSELL  with  a 
glance  that  says:  "Don't  dare  to  look  at  it." 
RUSSELL  grips  it  in  his  right  hand.} 

CORTRIGHT.    I  thought  so. 
VICTOR.    "Deutschland  ueber  Alles !" 
CORTRIGHT.     [To  MARY.]    Well — Miss  Alice! 
MARY.    No.    It  is  I.    I'd  like  to  declare  something. 

[The  chime  in  the  library  strikes  once.] 

CORTRIGHT.  I'm  afraid  it's  too  late. 
VICTOR.    The  lady  volunteers. 

[The  desk  clock  strikes  twice.] 

CORTRIGHT.    Not  at  this  stage  it  isn't  voluntary.    We're 
required  to  make  a  search. 


214  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

MARY.    But  that  isn't  necessary. 

[The  clock  in  the  room  above  strikes  twice.] 

CORTRIGHT.  I  suppose  not,  but  they  assume  you  declare 
things  from  fear. 

MARY.  That's  immaterial.  I  wish  to  tell  the  au 
thorities  what  I  brought.  Shall  I  tell  you? 

[The  chime  in  the  hall  below  strikes  once.] 

CORTRIGHT.    I'm  the  man  to  tell. 

MARY.   Your  information  came  from  Holland? 

CORTRIGHT.    That's  right.    That's  the  diamond  market. 

MARY.    I  know  your  informant. 

CORTRIGHT.  He's  got  a  big  pull,  whoever  he  is.  He's 
got  the  Department  working  overtime.  The  orders  were 
to  search.  Now,  if  I  only  got  you  on  the  ship  or  on  the 
dock,  the  Lady  Inspector  would  be  handy.  I'll  have  to  de 
tain  you,  I'm  afraid. 

VICTOR.    Can't  you  cut  that  out? 

CORTRIGHT.    She's  an  opera  singer. 

ALICE.    What  have  I  done ! 

MARY.    Scissors,  please.    I'll  save  you  the  trouble. 

ALICE.    Eight  here  on  the  desk. 

[ALICE  hands  MARY  the  scissors.  MARY  cuts  the 
red  piping  on  her  dress  and  draws  out  a  string  of 
rubies.  The  others  are  apparently  much  con 
cerned,  MARY  makes  an  effort  to  appear  playful] 

MARY.  Mr.  Officer.  You  were  right.  I'm  the  lady — 
disguised.  I  wear  this  costume  in  Carmen — in  the  third 
act — at  the  smuggler's  cave. 

CORTRIGHT.  That's  how  you  got  by?  Shades  of  Doctor 
Watson ! 

MARY.  [With  feigned  spirit,  archly,  making  a  dance 
step,  and  tapping  CORTRIGHT  with  her  fan.]  I  wouldn't 
have  missed  meeting  you  for  anything. 

CORTRIGHT.    [Bewitched.]    Thank  you. 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  215 

MARY.     [Overcoming  a  nervous,  pathetic,  little  laugh, 
she  sings  the  air  of  the  quintette  at  the  smugglers'  cave.] 

Allegro  deciso.  »rf^~- •' 


Carmen. 


Quant 
As 


au 
for 


doua 

the 


nier,     c'est  notre  af-fai        -        re! 
guard,     be    eas-  y,    broth    -       er», 

dim. 


Tout-     comme  — 
They,     like 


un     au      - 
to^  please, 


tre     U  aime    a      plaire,     D_          ai     - 
as  well     as    oth-ers,  They         like. 


fai  -   re  le       g-a-lant; 
be      gal-lant,  and  morel 


Ah! 
Ail. 


Lais -ses- nous    pas-ser    en       a 
Let     as  ,go      on     %  while      be 


[MARY  hands  the  rubies  to  CORTRIGHT.] 

CORTRIGHT.  Those  are  beauties.  Those  were  not  pur 
chased  in  this  country.  Not  that  it  makes  any  difference 
now,  but  I'm  only  telling  you.  I  know  every  bit  of  jewelry 
in  that  class.  Pigeon  blood,  every  one  of  them. 

RUSSELL.    [To  VICTOR.]    Did  you  make  the  gift? 

VICTOR.    I'm  sorry  to  say  I  didn't. 

RUSSELL.    [To  MARY.]    Who  gave  them  to  you? 

MARY.    The  Crown  Prince  of  Germany. 

VICTOR.     "To  match  your  lips,"  you  remember? 

RUSSELL.    Why  did  you  accept  them? 

MARY.  As  a  matter  of  course.  History  records  no  in 
stance  of  an  actress  with  fortitude  enough  to  refuse  a  pres 
ent  of  jewelry.  [She  cuts  the  white  piping.}  See,  here 
are  some  more  of  them.  [She  draws  out  a  string  of  dia 
monds.] 

RUSSELL.  Where  did  you  get  these? 

MARY.    From  a  Russian  Grand  Duke. 

VICTOR.     "For  your  swan-white  neck,"  the  scoundrel! 

RUSSELL.    Why  did  you  take  them? 

MARY.    As  a  matter  of  habit.    See,  here  are  some  more. 


216  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

[She  cuts  the  blue  piping,  and  draws  out  a  string 
of  sapphires.] 

EUSSELL.    Where  did  you  get  those? 

MARY.  From  one  who  hopes  some  day  to  be  Emperor  of 
Austria-Hungary. 

VICTOR.    "For  your  eyes  to  dim,"  the  rake. 

KUSSELL.    Why  did  you  take  them? 

MARY.  To  fill  out  the  set — [She  holds  them  up  togeth 
er] — and  to  give  them  to  Uncle  Sam.  See,  they  are  red, 
white,  and  blue.  But  here  are  some  more.  [She  cuts  her 
wide  belt  of  gray  and  draws  out  several  collars  of  pearls 
and  holds  them  up.]  The  tears  of  the  greater  and  the  lesser 
nobility  of  Europe ! 

VICTOR.  [With  comic  disgust.]  Yes,  damn  them.  "Your 
pearly  teeth!" 

CORTRIGHT.  I'm  sorry,  Miss.  Til  have  to  take  them. 
All  smuggled  goods  are  confiscated.  You  may  buy  them 
back  at  auction. 

MARY.  Not  much.  I  wouldn't  stain  my  fingers  with 
them.  To  me  they  represent  the  blood,  the  tears,  the 
bruised  hearts,  and  the  ashes  of  existence  such  things  mean 
to  the  common  people  from  whom  they  are  exacted.  I've 
been  trying  to  get  rid  of  them  without  exciting  comment, 
from  the  start. 

KUSSELL.    Did  Mr.  Chance  know  about  these  gifts? 

MARY.  He  certainly  did,  and  he  agreed  with  me.  Didn't 
you? 

VICTOR.    You  bet  I  did. 

CORTRIGHT.    Anything  else? 

[MARY  draws  a  cloth  bag  from  her  corsage.] 

MARY.  Some  of  these  I  shall  claim.  There  are  things 
for  you  all — presents,  Mr.  Cortright. 

CORTRIGHT.  That  makes  no  difference.  I'll  just  list 
these  things  and  make  out  the  papers. 

[Steps  into  another  room.  Calls  others  in  except 
KUSSELL,  MARY  and  MRS.  MORSE.  MARY  clutches 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  217 

at  something  concealed  in  her  corsage  over  her 
heart  and  restrains  an  exclamation  of  triumph.] 

MART.    Russell ! 

[Enter  BULLARD  suddenly  but  stealthily  from  the 
door  at  the  right.  His  appearance  and  manner 
betray  nervousness  induced  by  a  great  worry  and 
solace  sought  in  drink.] 

BULLARD.    I  hope  I  do  not  intrude. 

MRS.  MORSE.  [Checking  an  expression  of  surprise.] 
Not  at  all.  I  am  glad  to  see  you,  Mr.  Bullard.  Did  you 
have  a  pleasant  voyage? 

BULLARD.     Yes,  thank  you.     If  you  will  pardon  me, 

I  have  very  urgent  business  with  Mr.  Turner  and  Miss 

[To  RUSSELL.]     Shall  we  step  out?    At  last,  we  three  to 
gether? 

RUSSELL.    There  need  be  no  privacy  in  our  relations. 

BULLARD.    I  wasn't  considering  my  own  peace  of  mind. 

RUSSELL.    Nor  need  you  consider  mine. 

MRS.  MORSE.  Will  you  kindly  excuse  me?  I'll  see  that 
you  are  not  disturbed.  [Goes  into  other  room.] 

BULLARD.    You  are  a  public  official,  I  believe. 

RUSSELL.   I  am. 

BULLARD.  In  the  Department  of  State  of  the  United 
States  of  America? 

RUSSELL.  Correct.  I  am  Counselor.  You  remember — 
I  have  but  one  client. 

BULLARD.    Huh? 

RUSSELL.    The  American  People! 

BULLARD.  Exactly!  And  in  the  absence  of  your  su 
perior  you  became  Acting  Secretary  of  State. 

RUSSELL.   That  is  true. 

BULLARD.  And  as  such  you  had  power  to  surrender 
valuable  advantages  of  the  people  of  the  United  States. 

RUSSELL.    Practically — if  I  were  so  disposed. 

BULLARD.  Ten  days  ago  you  were  for  a  few  days  in 
charge  of  the  State  Department? 


218  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

EUSSBLL.  I  was.  In  fact,  even  the  President  was  inac 
cessible. 

BULLARD.  And  your  country  was  struggling  before  an 
international  tribunal  to  retain  certain  advantages  in  the 
use  of  the  Pacific  Canal? 

RUSSELL.    Yes.    Go  on. 

BULLARD.  And  you  used  your  power  to  sell  out  your 
country  ? 

RUSSELL.    What!    That  is  a  crime! 

BULLARD.  My  boy!  It  is  worse  than  a  crime;  it  is  a 
mistake.  In  effect,  you  committed  high  treason. 

RUSSELL.    You  scoundrel 

[ RUSSELL  advances  toward  BULLARD.  BULLARD 
draws  out  a  small  revolver,  with  a  pearl  handle, 
studded  with  diamonds.  MARY  starts  at  recogni 
tion  of  the  pistol.  The  muzzle  is  pointed  toward 
RUSSELL.  MARY  steps  in  front  of  RUSSELL  with 
an  exclamation  and  attempts  to  restrain  him.] 

MARY.    Russell ! 

[RUSSELL  steps  lack.] 

BULLARD.  This  pistol  is  loaded — with  jewels.  [Turn 
ing  to  MARY.]  It  just  fits  a  lady's  hand. 

RUSSELL.     You  mean ? 

BULLARD.  I  mean  to  have  my  say.  If  anyone  is  hurt, 
appearances  must  point  as  I  choose. 

RUSSELL.    The  report  will 

BULLARD.  Be  followed  by  a  great  silence.  [BULLARD 
places  the  pistol  on  the  desk.]  Besides,  this  pistol  makes 
no  sound.  [BULLARD  picks  up  the  pistol,  aims  at  a  sofa 
cushion  and  pulls  the  trigger.  Only  a  click  is  heard.  BUL 
LARD  draws  from  his  pocket,  with  his  left  hand,  a  l>o$  of 
cartridges,  places  it  on  the  desk,  takes  one  from  the  1)0%, 
breaks  the  pistol,  ejects  a  discharged  shell,  replaces  it  with 
the  loaded  shell,  replaces  the  pistol  on  the  desk,  draws 
from  his  pocket  a  handsome  leather  pistol-case,  and  places 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  219 

it  on  the  desk.}  These  were  purchased  ten  days  ago  at 
The  Hague,  where  they  had  just  been  put  upon  the  market, 
by  an  American  lady,  a  mysterious  cottager  at  Scheven- 
ingen,  where  the  pistol  and  slugs  were  found,  but  we'll  say 
they  were  smuggled  into  this  country  for  an  emergency 

[MARY  has  watched  BULLARD'S  handling  of  the  pis 
tol  with  intense  interest  and  her  absorption  be 
comes  gradually  more  apparent  up  to  the  moment 
of  the  disclosure  of  a  plan  for  the  use  of  the  pistol, 
when  she  passes  her  hand  across  her  forehead  and 
covers  her  eyes.  At  the  word  "emergency"  she 
starts,  but  her  spell  passes  with  a  reassuring 
look  at  RUSSELL.] 

— vengeance  or  suicide,  or  both,  or  merely  self-defense. 
Circumstances  would  indicate  which. 

[KUSSELL  and  MARY  watch  BULLARD  with  open 
mouths,  as  if  astounded  at  a  new  discovery  of  a 
hitherto  unsuspected  character.  They  ejaculate 
at  the  same  time.] 

RUSSELL.    You ! 

MARY.    You \ 

[ BULLARD  interrupts  them  coldly.] 

BULLARD.  And  now,  as  I  was  saying,  you  were  in  the 
pay  of  your  new  client, 

[RUSSELL  moves  toward  the  pistol.  BULLARD  antici 
pates  him.  MARY  grasps  RUSSELL'S  left  arm.] 

RUSSELL.    I'll  step  out  with  you 

BULLARD.    The  British  shipping  interests? 

MARY.    [To  BULLARD. J     Are  you  plaintiff's  counsel? 

RUSSELL.  [Not  noticing  MARY'S  speech.]  I'll  make 
you  eat  your  words ! 

BULLARD.  [Not  noticing  MARY'S  speech.]  Like  Bene 
dict  Arnold* 


220  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

MARY.  [To  BULLARD.]  Are  you  working  for  England's 
enemy? 

RUSSELL.  [Not  noticing  MARY'S  speech.]  Or  I'll  choke 
you. 

BULLARD.    And  I  can  prove  it. 

[RUSSELL  becomes  calmer  and  curious.    MARY  gives 
up  the  attempt  to  get  into  the  quarrel.] 

RUSSELL.    How? 

BULLARD.  The  original  cable  was  removed  from  the 
files  of  the  State  Department. 

RUSSELL.    I  never  saw  it. 

BULLARD.    While  you  were  in  charge. 

RUSSELL.    The  cable  company  has  no  record. 

BULLARD.  And  Congress  is  now  debating  the  question 
of  an  inquiry  and  punishment. 

RUSSELL.    I  have  tried  to  solve  the  riddle  myself. 

BULLARD.    And  you  may  undo  the  damage. 

MARY.    [Eagerly.]  How?  Tell  me  how  /  can  help  him! 

BULLARD.    By  joining  hands  with  me.    It'll  be  all  right. 

RUSSELL.    Never ! 

BULLARD.  I'll  make  restitution  for  you  to  your  British 
clients  and  double  their  retainer.  And  I'll  call  off  the  in 
vestigation.  Remember!  The  mailing  of  one  letter  puts 
you  at  the  mercy  of  a  scurvy  politician  on  the  Federal 
Bench ! 

RUSSELL.    Leave  this  house. 

BULLARD.    Not  until  I  have  had  my  say. 

RUSSELL.    There  are  ladies  in  the  next  room. 

BULLARD.    And  one  here  who  is  your  confederate. 

RUSSELL.    This  is  no — time — ! 

BULLARD.  An  American  adventuress 

[RUSSELL  moves  towards  the  telephone.] 
KTJSSELL.    This  is  not  the  place — !    Headquarters — ! 

[BULLARD  raises  the  pistol.    MARY  restrains  RUS 
SELL.] 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  221 

BULLABD.  [With  great  feeling.}  She  has  brought  you 
to  this. 

RUSSELL.  And  have  you  jailed. 

BULLARD.  And  she  has  deceived  you. 

[MARY  leaves  RUSSELL'S  side  and  advances  toward 
BULLARD.  RUSSELL  moves  forward  to  restrain 
her.} 

RUSSELL.    Stop!   I  won't  listen  to  you. 

BULLARD.    And  I  can  prove  it. 

MARY.    [Turning  to  RUSSELL.]    Please  let  him  prove  it. 

RUSSELL.  [Speaking  half  to  each.]  This  must  not  go 
on. 

MARY.  [Turning  to  BULLARD.]  Proceed,  Mr.  Bullard. 
I  am  listening. 

BULLARD.    Will  you  answer  my  questions? 

MARY.    Yes. 

RUSSELL.    No.    She  will  not. 

BULLARD.  [Turning  to  MARY.]  Will  you  prevent  in 
terference? 

MARY.    Mr.  Turner  will  not  interrupt. 

BULLARD.  Very  good,  then.  How  long  have  you  been 
in  Europe? 

MARY.    Almost  two  years  and  a  half. 

BULLARD.    Studying  music,  and  singing? 

MARY.    Yes.    And  human  nature! 

BULLARD.    You  have  met  many  distinguished  men? 

MARY.  Very  many.  All  the  somebodies,  most  of  them 
nobodies ! 

BULLARD.    And  have  accepted  attentions  from  them? 

MARY.    Yes.. 

BULLARD.    And  gifts? 

MARY.  Yes. 

BULLARD.    And  you  have  lived  well? 

MABY.  Yes.  [With  sarcasm.]  You  know — I  had  my 
scholarship. 


228  TEE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

BULLABD.  And  you  have  represented  to  every  one  of 
them  that  the  Pacific  Canal  should  be  free? 

MARY.  Yes. 

BULLARD.  And  that  the  American  people  should  insist 
upon  it? 

MARY.  I  believe  it.  Special  privileges  are  a  peril  to 
popular  freedom,  even  in  the  nation  that  claims  them  as  a 
national  boon. 

BULLARD.  And  you  bound  to  you,  among  others,  a  ma 
jority  of  the  judges  of  the  Hague  Tribunal  as  constituted 
for  the  Pacific  Case? 

MARY.    In  a  way. 

BULLARD.    By  intimacy  with  them. 

MARY.    Where  is  the  proof? 

BULLARD.    I  had  it  from  the  gentlemen  themselves. 

MARY.    Gentlemen  ?    Political  gunmen !  Like  yourself. 

RUSSELL.    Is  this  true? 

MARY.    Is  what  true? 

EUSSELL.    That  you  know  these  men? 

MARY.    Every  successful  singer  knows  them. 

EUSSELL.    Did  they  make  love  to  you? 

MARY.    They  did,  but 

EUSSBLL.    But  they  did  make  love  to  you? 

MARY.  They  made  love  to  me.  I  was  austere.  But  I 

fought  the  devil  with  fire !  I  had  to To  overcome  Mr. 

Bullard,  however,  didn't  require  either  a  Judith  or  a 
Gemma — nor  a  Tosca  or  a  Monna  Vanna!  No  siren 
song ! 

BULLARD.  And  during  that  time  you  became  a  mother? 

[MARY  clutches  at  her  corsage  over  her  heart.  BUL 
LARD  observes  that  MARY  is  wearing  RUSSELL'S 
locket.  She  observes  the  one  BULLARD  is  wearing 
upon  his  watch-chain.] 

MARY.    Where  is  your  proof? 

BULLARD.  You  brought  a  child  with  you  to  the  United 
States. 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD,  223 

MARY.    Yes? 
RUSSELL.    Is  that  true? 

[RUSSELL  grips  the  sailing  list,  looks  down  at  it  a* 
if  he  would  like  to  drop  it  but  can't,  looks  at  BUL- 
LARD,  down  at  the  sailing  list  again,  and  then  at 
MARY.] 

MARY.    I  can't  answer  that. 

[BULLARD  moves  away  from  the  pistol,  leaving  it 
ivithin  reach  of  either  RUSSELL  or  MARY.  HH 
draws  out  a  lady's  pocket  handkerchief  and  holds 
it  crumpled  in  his  right  hand.] 

BULLARD.  Then  you'll  answer  to  a  Congressional  Com 
mittee. 

MARY.    It  will  be  time  enough  to  deny  it  then. 

RUSSELL.  [Turning  to  MARY.]  Tell  him  he  lies!  Tell 
him  now ! ! 

MARY.  [Turning  to  RUSSELL  and  speaking  tenderly.] 
Why  should  I  tell  him?  [Turning  to  BULLARD.]  A  man 
should  not  interfere  with  children  until  he  has  shown  the 
record  of  his  own  offspring !  Uncle  Sam  can  nurse  vipers, 
it  seems,  but  can't  tolerate  his  own  natural  children. 

BULLARD.    I've  requested  a  child  be  deported. 

MARY.     [Momentarily  off  her  guard.]    No! — No! — No! 

RUSSELL.    [To  BULLARD.]    No! — No! 

MARY.  [Controlling  herself,  and  to  RUSSELL.]  You  see! 
[Crescendo.]  That  doesn't  concern  him ! ! 

RUSSELL.    But  it  concerns  me. 

MARY.    Then  I  shouldn't  tell  him! 

BULLARD.  And  this  pocket-handkerchief — [BULLARD 
displays  the  handkerchief,  examines  the  initial,  and  tosses 
it  upon  the  table] — was  given  me  by  young  Victor  Chance 
at  The  Hague. 

MARY.  Unto  this! — Last! — I  ago!  [BULLARD  ivinces.] 
You  stooped  at  The  Hague — I  dropped  my  handkerchief — 
as  a  challenge,  hoping  you  would  pick  it  up. 


224  TEE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

BULLARD.  Well,  keep  your  confidences,  if  you  wish, 
provided  you  join  hands  with  me — both  of  you.  It'll  be 
all  right. 

EUSSELL.  [Turning  away  from  MARY.]  Not  both  of 
us.  I  am  in  no  confederacy. 

BULLARD.    Are  you  not  in  British  employ? 

KUSSELL.    I  am  not.  My  mouth  has  been  sealed. 

BULLARD.    And  you  didn't  know  she  was? 

KUSSELL.    Certainly  not,  and 

MARY.    You  haven 't  proved  it. 

BULLARD.    But  I  will. 

EUSSELL.    [Turning  to  face  MARY.]    Prove  he  can't. 

MARY.    That  is  easy. 

BULLARD.  [Affects  a  sneer.]  Of  course,  you  had 
sources  of  information  other  women  lacked.  But  how  do 
you  propose  to  prove  it? 

MARY.  [Turning  to  BULLARD.]  "Out  of  thine  own 
mouth  will  I  judge  thee."  By  your  own  words? 

BULLARD.    To  whom? 

MARY.    To  Senator  Morse. 

BULLARD.    There  were  no  witnesses. 

MARY.    You  are  mistaken? 

BULLARD.     And  I  admitted  nothing. 

MARY.    Except  that  you  had  the  Court  bought. 

BULLARD.    Who  heard  that? 

MARY.    I  did. 

BULLARD.    You  won't  be  believed. 

MARY.    There  was  another  witness. 

BULLARD.    Who  was  it? 

MARY.    A  Dutch  official. 

BULLARD.  [As  with  a  bad  memory.]  Ugh!  The  Flying 
Dutchman!  He — lies!  He  couldn't  tell  a  straight  yarn! 
He's  all  at  sea !  He  won't  be  believed  against  me ! 

MARY.     But  Senator  Morse  will. 

BULLARD.    He  wouldn't  believe  it  himself. 

MARY.    Not  from  you,  but  he  had  corroboration. 

BULLARD.    [Starting  as  if  from  twinges.]    From  whom? 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  225 

MARY.    From  the  judges  themselves. 

BULLARD.  But  there  were  no  witnesses.  The  judges 
didn't  suspect  it  themselves. 

MARY.  One  judge  knew.  He  was  your  master  and 
your  master's  master.  The  man  who  sells  himself  never 
knows  who  the  buyer  is  or  how  much  he's  giving  up.  The 
plot  against  the  Canal  was  not  for  commerce,  not  for  peace, 
but  for  war — war  against  your  own  country — to  keep  our 
two  oceans,  our  two  shores,  and  our  two  fleets,  and  those 
of  the  friends  of  liberty  far  apart,  while  our  foreign-owned 
railroads  served  their  master's  armies,  drafted  from  our 
very  midst.  You  didn't  know,  but  I  know  now,  and  I  can 
prove  it.  What  you  attempted  was  worse  than  a  crime ;  it 
was  a  mistake.  Their  purpose  is  to  keep  our  railroads 
from  our  canal  in  war  time!  In  effect,  you  were  commit 
ting  high  treason.  [MARY  imitates  LIEBIG  VON  SPEIDEL.] 
"Don't  quote  me !  Don't  quote  me !  International  ~beriker! 
That's  me !"  And  just  then  a  shot  was  fired  at  him  or  for 
him  at  Sarajevo !  Big  guns,  big  business,  and  rakes — hold 
ing  one  another  up.  The  three  lusts — potation,  power,  and 
prostitution.  If  each  of  these  evils  is  necessary,  why  are 
they  always  found  together?  They  arise  from  the  love  of 
hoards — the  big  and  little  hoards ;  he  who  serves  the  hoard 
ers  serves  their  lusts — and  his  own  destruction.  The 
world  must  see  and  declare  that  those  who  are  not  socially 
honest  cannot  be  personally  honest — which  is  to  say,  per 
sonally  sane.  The  wrorld's  pity  should  be  their  scourge ! 

BULLARD.  [Opening  his  eyes  as  if  taking  in  a  new 
thought  and  almost  expressive  of  gratitude  to  his  inform- 
ant.]  Why  do  you  say  that?  How  do  you  know  that? 
[BULLARD  assumes  an  attitude  almost  of  terror.]  By 
whom  can  you  prove  that?  a 

MARY.  By  the  same  two  witnesses — they  heard  the 
separate  version  of  all  the «* 

BULLARD.  [Becomes  calmer  and  assumes,  as  if  defen 
sively,  his  attitude  of  defiance.]  Before  you  can  be  heard 
you  will  be  in  jail.  Throughout  Europe,  you'll  be  hounded 


226  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

as  a  spy.  Your  contract  with  Wolf  was  meant  to  keep  you 
far  from  The  Hague.  By  breaking  it  without  notice,  you 
committed,  fortunately,  the  one  unpardonable  sin  of  the 
theatre.  It  has  already  been  arranged  that  you  shall  never 
sing  in  any  opera  house  in  the  world. 

MARY.  [Imitating  BULLARD'S  speech.]  That's  the 
German  system !  Even  the  brightest  are  its  dupes !  [MARY 
resumes  her  earnest  manner.  Confidently.]  I  didn't  depend 
upon  the  villains  in  Europe,  and  I  certainly  won't  in  my 
own  country.  A  simple,  honest  melody  will  outrun  the 
clink  of  your  gold,  the  world  over.  Music  is  the  one  inter 
national  and  universal  language,  and  America  can  speak 
it  for  herself.  I  appealed  to  the  common  people  of  Europe, 
through  the  universal  chord,  and  I  shall  certainly  awaken 
a  response  in  the  people  of  my  own  country.  America 
needs  no  leadership — of  Teuton  or  Briton !  America  will 
thrust  aside  all  who  see  only  the  pay  in  patriotism  and 
through  that  America  herself  will  lead  the  world. 

BULLARD.    I  want  to  see  that !    A  lot  that'll  get  you ! 

MARY.  America  needs  foreign  music  about  as  much  as 
it  needs  to  import  strawberries.  I  have  sung  an  entire 
program  of  American  songs  from  the  concert  stage  of 
every  country  in  Europe,  the  songs  of  the  race,  that  be 
speak  its  ever-remembering  soul — 

BULLARD.    Its  what! 

MARY.  Its  salvation  from  your  kind.  A  short  memory 
is  fatal  to  popular  freedom. 

BULLARD.  [Darting  a  sinister,  threatening  look  at  both 
MARY  and  KUSSELL.]  It's  often  convenient  for  individuals. 

MARY.  [Meeting  the  challenge  with  a  smile.]  Well,  I 
always  ended  by  summing  up  these  memories — and  all  the 
individuals,  in  vibrant  harmony  with  me,  stirred  the  mystic 
chords  of  memory  that  stretch  world-wide  in  the  real  peo 
ple's  anthem,  "Home,  Sweet  Home."  [BULLARD  sneers.] 
Yes.  There's  in  that  song  a  general  heartbeat  that  circles 
the  earth  in  instantaneous  response.  And  Pm  going 
to  sing  that  program  from  the  stage  of  the  Metropol- 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  227 

itan  and  elsewhere  until  the  "breath  from  the  sky"  is 
breathed  again  and  politics  and  corruption  give  place,  all 
over  this  broad  land,  to  patriotism  and  co-operation.  You 
forget  that  I  am  a  scholar  sent  abroad  by  America's  great 
est  Opera  House,  and  that  I  captured  Europe.  You  know 
that;  you  contrived  it  yourself  so  as  to  get  me  out  of  the 
country.  But  I  did  not  join  the  international  geishas. 
That's  why  I'm  tabooed.  There's  a  musical  serfdom  both 
for  artists  and  public.  I  started  my  emancipation  in  Eu 
rope  ;  I'll  complete  it  at  home.  I'll  sing  in  American  opera 
with  American  singers  in  every  opera  city  in  America. 
"The  eagle  suffers  little  birds  to  sing,  and  is  not  careful 
what  they  mean  thereby!"  Would  your  precious  friends, 
your  retired  burglar  patrons  of  art,  rather  have  the  people 
hear  my  voice  or  have  them  hear  why  they  can't?  No 
dishonest  act  or  even  a  whisper  will  ever  get  me  a  chance 
to  sing. 

BULLARD.  I've  only  one  wish  about  you;  I  wish  you 
were  a  man. 

MARY.  You  wouldn't,  if  you  were.  Big  guns  blew  one 
American  girl  from  the  stage  of  the  Metropolitan,  but 
they  never  will  another ! 

BULLARD.  I  repeat,  you'll  be  in  jail  before  you  are 
heard. 

MARY.    I  have  already  been  heard. 

BULLARD.    In  what  way? 

MARY.  I  read  in  the  wireless  news  on  shipboard  that 
Congress  was  investigating  the  suspension  of  the  Hague 
Tribunal,  and  I  wired  the  Speaker  of  the  House  of  Repre 
sentatives  to  await  my  statement. 

BULLARD.    He'll  never  receive  it. 

MARY.  But  he  did  receive  it,  I  was  met  outside  the  har 
bor  by  the  Speaker's  secretary,  swore  to  my  statement,  and 
gave  it  to  him,  early  this  morning,  just  as  the  July  sun  was 
rising  over  the  Statue  of  Liberty.  He  telephoned  it  to  the 
Speaker  in  Washington,  where  it  was  taken  down  by  a 
stenographer.  I  don't  believe  there  will  be  any  investiga- 


228  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

tion.  If  it  isn't  called  off  for  good  now,  the  American  peo 
ple  will  have  their  say  about  the  matter,  and  the  Hague 
Tribunal  will  never  be  reconvened  for  this  case. 

[MARY  picks  up  the  ejected  shell,  examines  it,  and 

smiles.] 

BULLARD.  May  I  use  the  telephone?  I'd  better  go  out 
side.  I  will  see  you  all  later.  It'll  be  all  right. 

[ BULLARD  starts  to  go  out.  MARY  halts  him,  points 
to  the  pistol  case  and  cartridges,  watches  him 
take  them  and  put  them  into  his  pocket,  and  makes 
him  listen  as  he  goes.] 

MARY.  That  silencer — don't  try  to  shoot  anybody  with 
those  bullets.  I  had  the  powder  drawn.  I'm  not  a  coward, 
but  I  am  afraid  of  pistols.  Decent  people  all  are,  and,  when 
they  really  control  the  governments  of  the  world,  there  is 
going  to  be  absolute  disarmament  all  around.  And  we'll 
begin  by  taking  back  the  war  chests  that  make  it  possible 
to  feed  the  mouths  of  cannon  but  not  the  mouths  of  children, 
to  support  the  world's  breadwinners  while  they  are  killing 
one  another,  but  not  while  they  are  slaving  for  the  grand 
alliance  of  industrial,  political,  financial,  and  military 
dynasts  in  times  of  peace.  We'll  take  a  turn  at  killing  mon 
sters  in  the  embryo  and  letting  the  little  children  live. 
People  who  keep  more  money  than  they  know  how  to  use 
properly  are  intellectual  perverts,  and  they  should  be  put 
out  of  the  way  of  exercising  their  perversion  upon  society. 
The  only  way  civilization  can  withstand  the  force  of  gun 
powder  is  to  eliminate  it  from  civilization.  The  two  can't 
survive  together !  When  gold  and  gunpowder  do  the  fight 
ing  what  chance  is  there  for  manhood?  The  next  war 
must  not  end  until  a  world  power  is  established  to  keep 
the  world  disarmed.  The  best  plan  of  self-defense  has 
always  been  to  disarm  the  adversary  and  now  it  seems 
civilization's  only  plan.  Your  kind  could  all  turn  their 
talent  for  destruction  to  a  better  use ! 

[BULLARD  makes  a  gesture  of  despair,  takes  the  pis 
tol  and  cartridges  from  his  pocket,  and  places 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  229 

them  on  the  desk.  KUSSELL  takes  them  up,  sniffs 
the  muzzle  of  the  pistol,  and  thrusts  the  pistol  and 
the  cartridges  into  his  pocket.] 

MARY.  The  Senator  will  return  your  scholarship  fund 
intact,  Mr.  Bullard,  with  interest.  I  was  soon  able  to  make 
my  own  way.  A  little  aid  to  the  struggling  young  person 
is  never  a  bad  investment.  I  hope  the  next  scholar  makes 
good  use  of  it — [MARY  draws  paper  from  corsage  over  her 
left  breast] — better  than  you  intended.  A  social  system 
which  offers  to  tender,  virtuous,  and  dependent  women  the 
alternative  between  prostitution  and  suicide  as  an  escape 
from  beggary  is  organized  crime  for  which  some  day  unre 
lenting  justice  will  demand  atonement  and  expiation. 
[ BULLARD  notices  for  the  first  time  the  picture  of  "Sweet 
Lily  Earle."  He  starts,  and  MARY  glances  hurriedly  at  the 
object  of  his  attention.  BULLARD  looks  at  RUSSELL  and 
from  KUSSELL  to  MARY.]  And — by  the  way — Mr.  Bullard, 
if  you  need  a  copy  of  your  cable  to  Winmer  from  The  Hague 
about  the  Chance  holdings,  I  will  lend  you  mine.  [Extend 
ing  hand  with  telegram  in  it.]  Or  your  cable  to  the  Treas 
ury  Department  demanding  my  apprehension.  When  in 
vestigating  cables  always  look  for  those  both  ways ! 

BULLARD.  [Throicing  up  his  hands  and  going  out  hur 
riedly.]  Thanks  for  the  suggestion.  I  shall! 

RUSSELL.  Why  did  you  conceal  these  things  ?  Why  did 
you  come  second  class?  Why  did  you  carry  concealed  jew 
els?  Why  did  you  not  deny  his  insinuations? 

MARY.  All  for  a  purpose.  I  knew  Bullard's  plan  to 
have  me  searched.  I  had  something  to  conceal  at  any  cost 
— even  by  the  pretence  of  smuggling.  That  is  why  I  changed 
steamers — and  costumes 

[MARY  points  to  the  sailing  list  in  RUSSELL^S  hand. 
HE  takes  it  in  both  hands  and  examines  the  list 
eagerly;  having  found  the  place,  he  turns  to 
MARY.] 

RUSSELL.     Didn't  Mr.  Chance  know  about  that? 


230  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

MARY.  Nobody  knows  about  that.  Two  years  ago,  I 
made  a  secret  trip  to  New  York.  Only  mother  was  here. 

KUSSELL.  Were  you  here  then?  Mrs.  Morse  has  had  a 
weekly  letter 

MARY.  I  wrote  ten  in  advance,  and  had  them 
mailed 

RUSSELL.  But  each  letter  contained  a  long,  circumstan 
tial  account  of — what  you  had — not — been  doing. 

MARY.  Naturally — a  real  woman's  letter.  I  told 
mother  what  I  wanted  her  to  think.  The  public's  prefer 
ence  for  single  singers ! — and  so  the  darling  actually  helped 
me  to  deceive — the  public! 

RUSSELL.    Why  did  you  do  that? 

MARY.  Read  this.  The  jewels  saved  that.  A  mother 
must  think — for  the  future:  Women  are  born  smugglers! 

[Draws  paper  from  her  corsage.    RUSSELL  reads  it 
and  hastily  thrusts  it  in  his  pocket.] 

RUSSELL.    How  much  a  little  scrap  of  paper  may  mean ! 

MARY.  It  is  only  a  scrap  of  paper,  but  all  the  world  to 
me!  Bullard  guessed  that  night  in  there — [MARY  points 
toward  the  door  of  the  banquet  room] — and  he  knew  you 
didn't.  Until  The  Hague,  he  thought  he  had  kept  me  from 
you. 

RUSSELL.  [Pointing  to  something  in  the  paper.]  Is 
that  true?— the  Fourth  of  July? 

MARY.  Yes.  Two  years  ago  today.  At  last,  I  hava 
reached  my  goal.  Bullard  dare  not  speak ! 

RUSSELL.    Why  did  you  conceal  it  from  me? 

MARY.  To  protect  a  woman — and  her  two  girls.  It 
doesn't  matter  now.  She  is  dead.  And  the  girls  will  never 
know. 

RUSSELL.  Mary!  And  the  great  sacrifice  for  the  man 
escaped  you !  For  me  you've  made  all  past  time  aglow. 

MARY.  The  sacrifice  was  lost  in  its  joy.  And  I  came  to 
this  country  to  preserve  the  rights  of  a  boy.  I  was  bound 
]ie  should  have  his  birthright !  That  was  my  stake  in  the 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  231 

great  fight.  Oh,  the  unshared  sorrow  and  the  untold  pain ! 
And  to  be  so  alone — at  that  time  when  a  woman  most  needs 
the  consolation  of — the  father  of  her  child.  But  it  brought 
out  the  woman  that  was  in  me,  that  nothing  could  smother 

then I  gladly  bore  it  with  joy  and  rapture  for  your 

sake.    If  you  had  known,  I  could  not  have  kept  on  alone. 

RUSSELL.    Mary,  dear,  I  wish  I  were  worth  it 

MARY.  And  by  that,  my  faith  in  you,  which  never 
flagged,  was  tested — and  justified.  It  came  to  me  without 
a  question.  The  Dutch  official,  in  charge  of  the  cables,  wa» 
Hugo  Gulp. 

RUSSELL.  [With  mixed  wonderment  and  pleasure.'] 
Gulp !  My  good,  loyal  Gulp. 

MARY.    My  good,  loyal  Gulp.    Hugo  De  Groot  Gulp. 

RUSSELL.    Hugo  De  Groot  Gulp — Baron  Van  Deventer ! 

MARY.    Of  the  nobility !    He  never  mentioned  it. 

RUSSELL.  They  never  do  in  Holland.  It  is  the  real 
thing  there. 

MARY.    I  should  say  it  is! 

RUSSELL.    Gulp  is  a  descendant  of  Hugo  Grotius. 

MARY.    The  embryo  again ! 

RUSSELL.    What ! 

MARY.  Ideas  and  character  are  just  born  over  and  over 
again.  Men  of  low  aims  sink  in  the  sea  of  time. 

RUSSELL.    Yes.  Gulp  would  never  tell  the  story. 

MARY.    But  he  did  say  there  was  one. 

RUSSELL.    Yes. 

MARY.  And  soon  after — Senator  Morse — about  you — 
Bullard  was  goading  him — I  was  eavesdropping — and  I 
heard — Senator  Morse  squelched  Bullard  with  the  story. 

RUSSELL.     And  Chance  didn't  know  anything  of  this? 

MARY.  Trust  a  woman  to  deceive.  Victor  was  easily 
deceived.  He  was  so  infatuated. 

RUSSELL.    With  you? 

MARY.  Of  course  not.  With  somebody  else.  [Enter 
VICTOR,  MRS.  MORSE,  and  CORTRIGHT.]  Weren't  you,  Vic 
tor? 


232  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

VICTOR.  What? 

MARY.    Infatuated  with  a  girl? 

VICTOR.    You  bet  I  was,  and  I  am. 

MARY.    Other  than  me? 

VICTOR.    Certainly.  Excuse  me,  but  it's  true. 

RUSSELL.    Is  that  true,  Chance? 

VICTOR.    By  all  that's  holy. 

EUSSELL.    Was  she  in  Europe? 

VICTOR.  No.  Of  course  not.  You  know  perfectly  well, 
she  has  never  left  this  country. 

EUSSELL.    Well,  that's  a  queer  sign  of  infatuation. 

VICTOR.  But  a  necessary  one.  I  had  a  queer  obsession 
to  overcome  before  I  could  hope  to  win.  I  came  back  on 
purpose  to— 

EUSSELL.  [Concealing  his  impatience  only  with  ef 
fort.]  Well,  if  it's  not  asking  too  much,  who  is  the  young 
woman? 

VICTOR.  It's  Alice  Morse.  I've  been  waiting  for  her 
father  to  arrive,  but  I'm  getting  impatient.  Now  she  knows 
what  I'm  here  for. 

ALICE.  And  you  may  as  well  know  that  your  trip  has 
been  wasted.  You  may  go  back  to  Europe  when  your 
friend  goes? 

MARY.    Alice,  how  could  you? 

ALICE.  I  have  no  use  for  a  husband  who  does  his  court 
ing  by  racing  all  over  Europe  at  the  heels  of  somebody  else. 
Only  a  man  blinded  by  the  possession  of  money  and  the 
power  it  gives  could  dare  to  speak  to  a  girl  about  marriage 
under  the  circumstances.  What  could  she  expect  from  him 
afterward?  An  absent  honeymoon,  I  guess.  I've  said  I'd 
never  marry  a  man  of  means,  and  I  won't.  I  don't  care 
how  fine  he  is,  or  how  much  I  care  for  him.  I  won't  marry 
him,  I  won't!  I  won't 

VICTOR.  .  But,  Alice 

[The  library  chime  strikes  one.] 

MARY.    This  is  not  new  to  me.    My  dear  child,  this  boy 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  233 

has  been  following  me  all  over  Europe,  pestering  me  about 
you  and  your  ideas. 

[The  desk  clock  strikes  three  times.] 

VICTOR.  [In  a  mock  serious  manner.]  Yes,  I  repeated 
it  all.  "The  greatest  force  on  earth  is  the  force  of  inertia." 
That's  what  keeps  the  rich  young  man  down.  He  does  not 
need  to  do  anything  and  he  does  nothing. 

[The  clock  above  strikes  three  times.] 

"He  walks  beneath  the  moon, 
He  sleeps  beneath  the  sun, 
He  lives  the  life  of  going-to-do, 
And  dies 

[The  chime  in  the  hall  below  strikes  once.] 
— with  nothing  done." 

"Death  to  the  idle  rich !    Only  those  who  serve  should 

survive "    And  so  on.    We  both  know  the  whole  speech 

by  heart. 

MARY.  He  told  me  you  wouldn't  marry  him  because 
he  had  money  and  I  said  I  didn't  blame  you.  I  told  him 
I  agreed  with  you.  And  why  do  you  suppose  he  kept  at  me? 
Only  to  be  convinced.  We  became  a  debating  society.  He 
knew  I  believed  earnestly  in  the  dangers  of  a  great  fortune. 
He  wanted  to  see  it  my  way,  and  couldn't. 

ALICE.    And  he  never  will. 

MARY.  But  he  used  to  draw  out  the  solitaire  and  gaze 
at  it  and  then  he'd  ply  me  with  questions. 

RUSSELL.  Is  that  what  you've  been  keeping  dark  for 
a  whole  year,  Chance? 

VICTOR.  It's  mighty  hard  to  keep  a  diamond  dark.  It's 
been  burning  holes  all  over  me. 

MARY.  At  first  he  fell  back  on  family  traditions,  his 
responsibilities  to  society,  and  to  his  descendants.  Just  the 
same  thing  as  the  divine  right  of  kings,  you  know,  insanity, 
furor  teutonicus,  a  destructive  state  of  mind.  Then  he  ex 
plained  that  he  could  administer  his  property  better  than 


234  TEE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

another — that  it  was  founded  a  century  ago.  It  was  pay 
ing  wages,  giving  employment,  and  all  that — just  King 
Alcohol's  plea.  Like  all  the  rich,  he  inherited  from  Chance 
and  thought  it  was  Providence. 

ALICE.    I've  heard  it  all.    It's  no  use. 

MARY.  But  it  is  some  use.  He  thought  so  because  he 
kept  at  me  to  convince  him.  His  silence  deceives 

ALICE.    But  you  didn't. 

VICTOR.    But  she  did. 

[VICTOR  draws  out  an  old-fashioned  purse,  holds  it 
out  to  ALICE,  and  commences  to  recite :] 

"There  is  thy  gold,  worse  poison  to  men's  souls, 
Doing  more  murder  in  this  loathsome  world, 
Than  these  poor  compounds  that " 

[CORTRIGHT  intercepts  the  purse  and  interrupts  the 
speech.  ] 

CORTRIGHT.  Sorry  to  interrupt  you,  but  I'll  have  to 
trouble  you  for  that  solitaire. 

VICTOR.  Life  is  just  one  hold-up  after  another.  You 
are  just  in  time,  officer. 

CORTRIGHT.    That's  me. 

VICTOR.  Here,  Alice.  The  only  assets  I  have  in  the 
world  now  are  this — [Drawing  out  a  belt  filled  with  jew 
els] — a  Fifth  Avenue  residence,  three  country  places,  wine 
cellars,  a  house  in  London  and  in  Paris,  shooting-lodges,  a 
stock  farm,  kennels,  game  preserves,  conservatories,  two 
steam  yachts,  some  automobiles,  collections  of  paintings, 
sculpture,  armor,  jewels,  and  a  dozen  other  useless  little 
things  like  those.  [ALICE  frowns;  VICTOR  continues  reas- 
surringly.]  They  pay  no  dividends,  and  I  am  giving  them 

to  you [ALICE  smiles.]  Now  you  see  how  much  I  love 

you.  The  divine  right  to  be  maintained  forever  in  the  style 
to  which  I  have  been  accustomed,  I  have  abandoned  entire 
ly.  I've  removed  the  last  barrier  to  a  perfect  union.  I  can 
live  without  everything — but  you.  [As  if  wound  up  to  can 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  235 

tinue.]     I  neither  drink  nor  smoke.     I've  got  rid  of  the 

worst  of  vices — the  fear  of  poverty.    And  I 

ALICE.  Victor !  You  poor  man !  [ALICE  gives  way  to 
tears.]  Come  kiss  me. 

MARY.  [Laughing  but  dabbing  at  her  eyes  with  her 
handkerchief.}  And  now  she's  weeping!  "How  much  bet 
ter  it  is  to  weep  at  joy  than  to  joy  at  weeping!" 

VICTOR.  It  wasn't  because  she  liked  it,  but  just  for  the 
experience !  Eh ! 

ALICE.    [Through  her  tears.]     I  can't  tell ! 

[VICTOR  and  ALICE  embrace.    CORTRIGHT  goes  to  the 
back  of  the  stage.     RUSSELL  and  MARY  go  to  a 
corner  and  commence  to  talk  together.] 
VICTOR.    [As  soon  as  ALICE  half  releases  him.]    And  I 
persuaded  Aunt  Havorbee  to  give  up  her  cocktail.    Pretty 
good,  at  her  time  of  life.    Eh ! 

ALICE.  [Humming  and  half  singing,  as  she  leads  VIC 
TOR  to  another  corner.]  "Because  you  come  to  me  with 

naught  save  love " 

[THORBURN  enters  and  watches  the  group  a  mo 
ment.] 
THORBURN.    Are  congratulations  in  order? 

[THORBURN  shakes  hands  with  ALICE,  VICTOR,  and 

MRS.  MORSE.] 

VICTOR.    Yes,  indeed.    Glad  you  are  in  on  them. 
THORBURN.    I  missed  you  at  the  steamer. 
VICTOR.     I'm  not  surprised.     I  lost  no  time. 
THORBURN.    Mr.  Bullard  said  I  should  find  you  here. 
Excuse  my  coming. 

VICTOR.    That's  all  right.    How  about  the  deed? 
THORBURN.    That's  what  I  wish  to  speak  about. 

[MRS.  MORSE  and  ALICE  join  RUSSELL  and  MARY, 
and  the  four  stand  away  from  VICTOR  and  THOR 
BURN.] 

VICTOR.  Well,  everybody  knows  now.  Speak  right 
out. 


236  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

THORBURN.  Well,  you  see— I've  been  attorney  for  the 
Chance  estate  since  the  time  of  your  grandfather,  and  I 
didn't  expect  you'd  do  this  when  I  drew  the  papers  and- 

VICTOR.    But  you  drew  them  and  agreed  to  sign  them. 

THORBURN.  Yes,  but  representations  have  been  made 
to  me  that  question  might  be  raised. 

VICTOR.    To  what? 

THORBURN.   Well — to  the  form. 

VICTOR.    That  may  be  remedied.    Anything  else? 

THORBURN.    And  to  your  competency. 

VICTOR.    I  am  over  twenty-one  . 

THORBURN.  But  such  a  deed  is  unusual— and  consider 
ing  the  amount — unheard  of 

VICTOR.   Well,  getting  that  amount  of  money  the  way 
I  did  is  not  heard  of  very  often,  either. 

THORBURN.   The  law  of  wills— 

VICTOR     I  won't  question  the  source  of  it,  but  I  know 
that  a  man  simply  can't  earn  and  keep  even  one  mil 
dollars  without  being  unjust. 

THORBURN.     Society  permits  it. 

VICTOR.  So  far  as  my  right  against  society  is  con 
cerned,  my  ancestors  had  no  greater  right  to  leave  me  a 
million  dollars  or  I  the  right  to  receive  it  than  they  would 
have  had  to  leave  me,  after  the  custom  of  the  ancient 
Greeks  their  debts  to  that  amount,  and  to  impose  upon 
me  the  obligation  to  pay  that  deficit  out  of  my  own  prop 
erty  or  by  my  own  effort. 

THORBURN.  There  must  be  capitalists. 
VICTOR  Is  a  capitalist  more  worth  to  his  race  than  a 
Shakespeare  or  a  Rembrandt?  Why  should  posterity  keep 
pavine  royalties  to  the  one  and  not  to  the  others?  Money 
is  not  immortal!  Money  is  not  creative!  Money  is  not 
even  intelligent!!  Shakespeare  was  the  royalest  of  kings. 
From  him  all  men  inherit.  He  left  an  empire  of  divine 
humanity.  He  made  all  men  gods  and  created  a  univei 

— of  the  soul. 

THORBURN.    Culture  rests  on  inheritance !    Inheritance 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  237 

by  the  male  line  held  society  together  long  before  Shake 
speare. 

VICTOR.  The  society  of  dynasts.  The  common  people 
have  paid  dear  for  that  necessity.  Male  parentage  is  the 
most  improvable  thing  in  the  world — a  birth  certificate — 
a  mere  scrap  of  paper. 

THORBURN.  The  world  revolves  about  the  contrary  of 
that  proposition.  That  mere  scrap  of  paper  is  the  one 
great  guarantee  of  civilization. 

VICTOR.  Russell,  here,  and  I  were  born  at  the  same 
hospital,  at  the  same  time.  By  what  social  principle  wai 
I  determined  to  be  fortune's  favorite? 

THORBURN.  By  an  unfailing  instinct  felt  by  your  mother, 
your  father,  and  you — registered  in  a  scrap  of  paper  at 
their  marriage  and  in  another  scrap  of  paper  when  you 
were  born. 

VICTOR.  It  is  important,  then,  that  the  scrap  of  paper 
speak  the  truth.  I,  for  one,  never  felt  that  instinct  for  my 
parents — any  more  than  if  we  had  been  parted  at  my  birth. 

THORBURN.  A  child's  instinct  reaches  forward  to  iU 
child — seldom  backward  to  its  parents. 

VICTOR.    I  did  love  dolls — which  doesn't  prove  a  thing. 

THORBURN.  Well,  under  the  law,  the  scrap  of  paper 
gives  you  the  power  to  dispose  of  your  property  as  you 
choose — and  it  will  continue  to  give  to  the  remotest  fila 
ment  of  your  ancestry  the  tensile  power  of  the  strongest 
chain.  Through  it  you  are  the  master  of  your  property, 
not  I,  or  anyone  else. 

VICTOR.  And  I'm  bound  to  dispose  of  it — realty  as 
well  as  personalty,  the  first  in  a  family  that  has  practiced 
always  to  buy  land  but  never  to  sell — an  infallible  way  to 
get  ever  richer  without  work — after  the  manner,  say,  of 
the  religious  orders  which  Edward  the  First  and  Edward 
the  Third,  the  great  lawmakers,  corrected,  and  whose  mon 
asteries  Henry  the  Eighth's  Cardinal  Wolsey  turned  into 
institutions  for  useful  education. 

THORBURN.     But  our  ancestors 


238  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

VICTOR.  We  needn't  go  back.  I  suppose  the  rich  today 
sanctify  their  greed  by  attributing  it  to  a  desire  to  preserve 
the  institution  of  the  family.  As  a  matter  of  fact  we  have 
erected  in  the  name  of  the  family  a  structure  that  is  mak 
ing  the  perpetuation  of  the  family  impossible.  We  can't 
take  our  holdings  with  us  and  we  can't  exchange  them  for 
Heaven.  Yet  we  let  our  terror  at  an  added  mill  of  taxation 
stifle  individual  ambitions,  subvert  national  aspirations, 
keep  down  the  public  wealth,  and  block  civilization  itself. 
My  immediate  ancestors  made  me  a  fit  object  for  a  new 
Statute  of  Mortmain.  Why,  it  was  this  sort  of  things  that 
started  the  French  Revolution,  and  has  kept  Mexico  in 
perpetual  warfare.  Mine  will  not  be  the  "dead  hand"  to 
hold  these  properties — or  the  shrivelled  hand,  either. 

THOEBURN.    You  are  only  one  in  a  thousand. 

VICTOR.  I'm  one  too  many !  Do  you  know  that  ninety 
per  cent,  of  the  adults  who  die  in  a  community  containing 
more  millionaires  than  any  other  in  the  world  leave  no 
estate  at  all,  and  less  than  two  per  cent,  leave  ten  thousand 
dollars?  The  American  city  which  has  most  inherited 
wealth — founded  on  trade  in  slaves  and  rum,  and  other 
such  honorable  pursuits — and  most  highbrow  culture,  is 
now  the  drunkenest  city  in  the  world !  "All  for  a  few"  must 
go;  "each  for  all"  must  come.  Are  Americans  going  to 
stand  for  this  when  Mexican  peons  won't?  I  am  going  to 
open  my  hand  before  the  people  pry  it  open  with  a  bayonet 
— the  people  or  a  foreign  foe! 

[MARY  moves  toward  THORBURN  and  VICTOR.] 

THORBURN.  You  at  least  see  one-half  the  danger.  Our 
rich  clients  have  come  to  realize  it.  Just  as  low  society's 
members  are  identified  for  their  more  just  punishment — 
an  attainder,  in  a  way,  to  prevent  change  in  them — by  fin 
ger-prints,  high  society's  babes  will  hereafter  be  known,  to 
assure  them  fortune's  favor,  by  the  footprint.  Now,  I 
am  your  friend.  I  merely  wish  you  to  avoid  attack 

VICTOR.  Fortune's  heirs  should  be  adopted  grown  up 
on  the  basis  of  proved  merit !  What  do  you  mean,  attack? 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  239 

THORBDRN.  You  are  allied  with  the  Merwin  group. 
They  have  been  to  see  me.  They  insist  you'll  cause  a  panic 
before  readjustment  can  be  made,  and  ruin  innocent  peo 
ple.  They  pretend  to  be  anxious  about  your  health. 

VICTOR.  My  sanity,  I  suppose.  Well,  I'm  more  con- 
Tinced  than  ever.  I  never  knew  real  happiness  until  I 
made  up  my  mind  to  be  myself,  and  since  I  have  resolved 
to  do  without  money,  I  have  had  nothing  but  happiness. 
A  will  disposing  of  millions  to  an  individual  should  be 
upset,  without  other  proof,  for  the  insanity  of  the  testator. 
My  friends 

MARY.    This  may  explain  their  friendship. 

[MARY  hands  the  BULLARD  cablegram  to  VICTOR.] 
VICTOR.    [Reads  cablegram  aloud.] 

"The  Hague,  June  28,  1914. 
"WINMER,  New  York. 

"Youthful  suffering  acute  attack  dementia  altruistica 
Americana  proposes  deed  of  gift  removing  entire  holdings 
from  control. — See  Thorburn. — Hold  up  deed — have  com 
mitment  papers  ready,  and  prepare  Sheriff's  Jury  to  ex 
amine  into  sanity. — Signed — BULLARD."  The  villain! 
At  least,  I'm  not  money  mad — or  power  mad,  either.  The 
Sheriff's  Jury  had  better  look  for  the  bigger  fish — and  the 
Sheriff's  Posse,  too.  [VICTOR  pauses  a  moment,  stares  at 
the  telegram,  revises  his  head,  and  holds  the  telegram 
aloft.]  My  God!  Crooks  and  makers  of  crooks  in  control 
of  the  world's  Justice!  Judges  of  probate — politicians. 
What  a  chance  a  child  has  after  all !  Why  shouldn't  infant- 
killing  flourish !  With  justice  the  pawn  of  politics ! 

[MRS.  MORSE,  ALICE,  and  RUSSELL  come  up  to  VIC 
TOR,  THORBURN,  and  MARY.  THORBURN  appears 
to  be  restrained  for  that  reason  from  giving  a 
direct  answer.] 

THORBURN.  I  drew  your  grandfather's  will.  He  gave 
your  father  only  a  life  interest  in  the  bulk  of  his  fortune 


240  TEE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

because  he  couldn't  figure  out  how  to  use  it  himself,  and 
he  knew  your  father  couldn't.    He  only  hoped  to  make  a 
will  that  could  not  be  broken— and  that  was  no  easy  task 
for  one  in  his  advanced  age  and  circumstances.     He  ex 
pressed  to  me  the  wish  that  a  boy  might  get  it  all  who 
would  think  of  others  at  the  beginning  of  his  life  as  he 
had  tried  to  do  at  the  end,  "not,"  he  said,  "to  be  minis- 
tered  unto,  but  to  minister,  and  to  give  his  life  as  a  ran 
som  for  many."     "Thorburn,"  said  he,  "the  love  of  too 
much  money  shrivels  the  soul  and  makes  it  small.    If  my 
heir  must  do  as  I  have  done,  better  he  were  never  born !' 
VICTOR.    [Smiling.]    What  does  Bullard  say  to  that? 
THORBURN.    I  fear  he  knows  he  has  overreached  him 
self,  and  is  desperate.    He  says  he  alone  can  prove  the  old 
man  had  his  wish— that  your  birth  certificate  even  is  in 
his  handwriting— that  there  never  was  an  heir  to  the 
Chance  estate.    He  forgets  the  family  Bible. 

VICTOR.  There  wasn't  any  in  our  family.  These  [VICTOR 
indicates  ALICE  "by  his  glance]  people  are  more  to  me  now 
than  my  parents  ever  were.  I'm  sorry  to  say  mine  wasn't 
this  kind  of  a  family. 

THORBURN.     What!     That's  what  Bullard  said, 
strengthens  his  position !    He  was  the  doctor ! 

VICTOR.  Chance!  'I've  heard  inheritance  called  the 
modern  form  of  fate.  Big  fortunes  certainly  have  a  way 

of  getting  sidetracked And-with  all  respect  to  the 

profession  you  honor  by  your  membership,  big  fortunes 
make  vultures  of  the  bar.    You  "follow  the  property." 

THORBURN.    Vultures  gather 

VICTOR.  Then  the  property  would  go  back  to  the  State 
anyway.  The  public  was  the  only  possible  victim.  Eh ! 

THORBURN.  Yes.  Private  property  goes  back  by  the 
law  of  escheat.  But  Bullard  is  absurd The  law  estab 
lishes  an  overwhelming  presumption  in  favor  of  a  child 
born  in  wedlock.  Bullard  may  be  mistaken ! 

VICTOR.  Well— less  cheat  and  more  escheat  would  do 
this  country  good.  If  I  didn't  get  the  old  man's  blood,  I've 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  241 

got  his  spirit.  No  man  is  born  marked  of  God  to  be  above 
another,  for  none  comes  into  the  world  with  a  saddle  upon 
Ids  back,  neither  any  booted  and  spurred  to  ride  him.  Shall 
a  thief's  heir  keep  what  the  live  thief  must  yield  and  a 
patricide  can't  hold?  I'm  going  to  give  the  law  of  escheat  a 
little  exercise.  Of  what  use  is  it  to  be  heir  of  all  the  ages 
if  you  can't  enjoy  the  inheritance! 

ALICE.  Victor  would  better  give  himself  to  the  work,  too. 

VICTOR.  He  must  first  set  the  example  who  would 
say  "Go,  thou,  and  do  likewise." 

MARY.    Plucking  a  single  leaf  never  rooted  up  a  tree. 

MRS.  MORSE.  That's  right.  Little  can  be  done  with 
money  alone.  The  vagaries  of  rich  men  in  their  philan 
thropies  often  suggest  the  need  of  public  direction  as  much 
as  the  efforts  of  dangerous  criminals. 

THORBURN.  The  strange  thing  about  all  this  is  that  the 
graduated  inheritance  tax  is  quite  orthodox  and  scientific. 
The  curtailment  of  hoards — inter  vivos  and  causa  mortis — 
is  the  one  feasible,  constructive  means  of  economic  re 
adjustment. 

VICTOR.    I'll  take  your  advice,  Mr.  Thorburn. 

THORBURN.    I  am  at  your  service.    Good  day. 
[THORBURN  goes  out.] 

CORTRIGHT.   Say,  young  man,  wiiat  Is  your  name? 

VICTOR.    Victor  Chance. 

CORTRIGHT.  Say,  were  these  [Disparagingly]  trinkets 
—bought  in  this  country? 

VICTOR.    Every  one! 

CORTRIGHT.  Take  these  things  back.  That  name  means 
something  to  a  cop.  [Pointing  to  MARY.]  Is  this  lady  a 
friend  of  yours? 

VICTOR.    A  very  dear  friend. 

CORTRIGHT.  Well,  I  don't  like  this  business.  Who  is 
this  gentleman? 

VICTOR.  Let  me  introduce  you ;  Mr.  Cortright,  this  is 
Eussell  Turner,  Acting  Secretary  of  State  of  the  United 
States. 


242  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

CORTRIGHT.     For  the  love  of Say,  Counselor — 

can't  we  fix  this  thing  up?    Whose  house  is  this? 

RUSSELL.  This  is  the  residence  of  United  States  Sen 
ator  John  Morse. 

CORTRIGHT.  And  me  a  detective !  Say,  Counselor,  can't 
we  fix  this  up?  We  ought  to've  met  'em  at  the  dock! 

RUSSELL.    Enforce  the  law,  Mr.  Cortright. 

CORTRIGHT.    Say,  this  is  tough.    I'd  rather  resign. 

RUSSELL.  Afterward.  Don't  flinch  in  the  performance 
of  your  duty. 

CORTRIGHT.  I'm  not  flinching.  I'm  just  thinking.  Say, 
Judge,  these  here  red,  white,  and  blue  star-spangled  ban 
ners  are  the  gifts  of  royal  families,  ain't  they? 

RUSSELL.    That  is  so. 

CORTRIGHT.  Well,  you  can't  pay  duty  on  those,  can 
you? 

RUSSELL.     The  State  Department  could  exempt  them. 

CORTRIGHT.  Say,  Governor,  excuse  the  question,  but 
who  is  this  lady? 

RUSSELL.  [RUSSELL  goes  up  to  MARY,  throws  his  right 
arm  over  her  shoulder,  and  addresses  himself  dramatically 
to  all.]  This  lady — [VICTOR  smiles] — is  my  wife! 

[MARY'S  eyes  flash  gratitude  up  to  RUSSELL'S.  ALL 
look  from  one  to  the  other.  Before  anybody  can 
speak,  CORTRIGHT  bursts  out  in  an  apology  to 
RUSSELL.] 

CORTRIGHT.  Say,  Mr.  Secretary,  I  haven't  any  power 
in  this  matter.  The  lady  is  in  the  State  Department.  We 
can't  collect  duty  on  these  things.  On  the  principle  of 
extraterritoriality — you  know — I  am  violating  the  sov 
ereignty  of  some  country — my  own,  I  guess.  I'll  have  to 
turn  this  matter  over  to  you.  Excuse  me,  General.  Good 
bye,  all. 

[MRS.  MORSE  busies  herself  to  get  ALL  but  RUSSELL 
and  MARY  out  of  the  room.] 

MRS.  MORSE.    Ill  show  you  out. 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  243 

[MRS.  MORSE,,  ALICE,  and  VICTOR  shake  hands  with 
CORTRIGHT,  pat  him  on  the  back,  and  go  out  with 
him,  to  show  him  out.  MARY  and  KUSSELL  join 
in  the  laugh  at  CORTRIGHT'S  attempts  to  square 
himself,  but  as  they  realize  that  they  are  being 
left  alone,  the  look  of  amusement  fades  into  one 
of  tense  seriousness  and  consciousness  of  the  dan 
ger  of  the  breaking  down  of  restraint.  During 
the  following  scene,  it  is  apparent  that  MARY  and 
KUSSELL  anticipate  a  sudden  interruption  of  their 
interview.] 

MARY.    Thank  you,  Russell. 

EUSSELL.  We  will  make  it  true  to  us  today — and — that 
scrap  of  paper — it  will  always  appear  so  to  the  world — 
even  if  we  know  it  is  two  years  late. 

MARY.  I  might  have  come  back  to  stay  before,  but  I 
owed  it  to  us  all  to  show  what  I  could  do.  I  owed  it  espe 
cially  to  our  boy. 

EUSSELL.  A  boy!  I  have  not  slept,  from  expectation, 
since  I  received  your  message. 

[MARY  teases  with  a  shade  of  pity.] 
MARY.     My  American  official  sleepless!     Then  your 
Butterfly  has  completely  turned  the  tables! 

EUSSELL.  [Accepting  the  thrust.]  What  does  he  look 
like? 

[MARY  continues  in  the  same  mood,  but  quickly 

becomes  serious.] 

MARY.    A  young  God !    Look !    [MARY  opens  the  locket 
and  displays  two  pictures.]    I  have  had  your  picture  taken 
— his — and  on  his  second  birthday,  /  give  it  to  you  in  this 
locket.    It  was — our — gem,  wasn't  it? 
EUSSELL.   He  favors  you,  not  me. 
MARY.    Nonsense.    We'll  find  we  both  take  after  him. 
The  child  is  the  real  parent,  after  all.    In  them  we  live  our 
lives  anew.  I  first  felt  the  stir  of  his  life  that  night  [point 
ing]  in  there.  We  owe  children  more  than  they  owe  us ! 
EUSSELL.    He's  been  bereft,  too,  poor  kiddie.    We  both 


244  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

know  what  it  means.  I  owe  him  everything ;  I  have  done 
nothing  for  him.  There  are  greater  duties  than  that  of  a 
man  and  a  woman  to  one  another. 

MARY.  Oh,  the  lonesome  days  and  nights  away  from 
him  and  you.  Oh!  the  nights  of  singing  from  an  aching 
heart,  songs  of  America,  of  home,  and  fireside,  of  love,  and 
children,  among  aliens,  in  a  distant  land,  in  my  beloved, 
enthralling  native  tongue,  and  working  up  in  me  the 
exquisite  pain  and  the  dread  reaction  from  love  poured 
forth  to  love  and  hope  deferred.  And  to  sing  these 
songs  at  Christmas.  My  God!  such  blues.  Every  tradi 
tion  of  home  and  country  that  had  come  down  to  me  from 
centuries  rose  up  within  me  to  make  me  lonesome  and 
unhappy — as  if  our  Christian  holiday  were  the  touchstone 
of  true  sentiment  and  right  living.  Christmas  is  the  Holy 
Spirit  of  childhood  and  an  integral  part  of  Duty.  And 
this  day,  too!  How  deep  and  strong  and  harrowing  are 
the  patriotic  feelings  of  America !  How  appealing  to  the 
better  nature !  A  yearning,  a  love,  a  striving,  pathetically 
universal,  bursting,  almost,  the  very  soul  of  the  fond, 
weak  woman  who  would  make  it  all  come  true.  With  all 
my  cosmopolitan  veneer,  and  despite  my  complex  ances 
try,  I  am  just  a  parochial  little  American  girl,  after  all. 

KUSSELL.  Then  you  have  come  through  the  test  the 
very  best  thing  in  the  world. 

MARY.  We  both  needed  the  test,  and  we  stood  it  to 
gether.  You  seemed  so  far  and  so  big  and  so  cold  but  the 
boy  was  so  live  and  sweet  and  warm,  there  on  my  bosom, 
that  you  spoke  to  me  wordless,  through  him,  across  the 
world.  From  the  first,  your  child,  nestled  under  my  heart, 
made  your  heart  and  brain  and  character  and  spirit  of 
sacrifice  a  part  of  me  and,  too,  your  little  angel  hanging 
on  my  breasts  called  forth  all  the  well-springs  of  knowl 
edge  and  sympathy  and  purpose  that  were  within  me,  until 
I  felt  reproduced  in  me  the  great  impulse  which  moves 
humanity  ever  onward  and  regulates  the  world. 

KUSSELL.    Mary ! 


TEE  WASTREL  HOARD.  245 

MARY.  [Babbling.]  The  dear  little  treasure  could 
make  such  marvellous  sounds!  From  the  first  he  could 
spin  a  tone  wonderfully !  If  we  could  only  command  such 
notes !  I  love  him  so  much ! 

RUSSELL.    Artist  and  mother !    What  a  lullaby ! 

MARY.    If  children  could  only  make  their  voices  heard ! 

RUSSELL.    Some  can ! 

MARY.  Not  that!  He  has  never  cried !  He  is  a  man! 
He  doesn't  know  how  to  whimper  any  more  than  you  do ! 

RUSSELL.    Or  you ! 

MARY.  He  made  me  feel  my  work  and  suffer,  too.  Every 
money-grasping  hand,  I  felt  gripping  at  my  baby's  throat, 
and  every  uncharitable  or  scornful  glance  was  a  dagger 
in  his  little  heart — and  that  of  every  woman's  baby  in  the 
world — in  wedlock  or  out.  Greater  a  child  without  mar 
riage,  than  marriage  without  a  child.  Better  both,  of 
course.  Parenthood  may  be  a  vice,  but  it  is  a  vice  that 
holds  the  parents.  Society  cannot  tolerate — married  or 
unmarried — the  mistress  or  the  rake.  The  married  ones 
are  worse.  Even  that  kind  of  fish  may  spawn — and  if 
they  spawn,  they  spawn — tragedies.  But  the  real  child — 
society  demands  that — for  that  is  its  foundation. 

RUSSELL.    And  I  never  knew 

MARY.  Your  wonderful  letters  intensified  it  all.  They 
gave  me  the  wisdom  of  the  serpent  and  brought  me  all  the 
knowledge  of  the  whole  earth — and  they  made  me  strong. 
I  felt  inspired.  My  whole  being  became  instinct  with  a 
new  and  intense  vitality.  All  the  deepest,  tenderest, 
strongest  chords  of  my  nature  seemed  keyed  to  the  high 
est  pitch,  and  to  be  vibrating  to  the  touch  of  a  resistless 
power.  Svengali  was  never  nearer  to  Trilby  than  you 
always  were  to  me.  Even  when,  upon  a  tour,  I  hadn't  a 
word  from  you,  I  always  asked  myself,  on  every  question, 
what  you  would  say.  My  art  was  only  an  expression  of 
your  intelligence.  You  made  me  see  the  big  facts  of  life! 

RUSSELL.     I  put  my  whole  being  into — those  letters. 

MARY.     You   put   all — being — into — those   letters.      I 


246  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

read  between  the  lines.  Our  love  kept  me  from  commun 
ion  with  any  other  soul  on  earth.  I  knew  I  had  you,  and, 
being  sure  of  that,  I  could  do  anything.  At  a  moment's 
doubt,  I'd  have  been  in  your  arms  in  a  week.  But  I  knew 
the  kind  of  man  you  are,  and  I  have  always  considered 
myself  your  wife.  I  have  loved  you  with  my  whole  soul 
ever  since  I  first  saw  you.  There  has  been  nothing  in  my 
life  since  but  the  thought  of  you  and  our  baby,  the  prenatal 
forming  of  his  soul.  After  a  storm,  did  you  ever  see  sun 
light  play  upon  golden  grain?  Well,  that's  what  our  boy 
has  been  to  me.  And  now  I'd  have  the  whole  world  bathed 
in  sunlight. 

KUSSELL.    That  is  my  Mary. 

MARY.  The  boy's  name  is  yours;  you'll  be  proud  of 
him.  If  it  had  been — I  have  put  no  stain  upon  the  name 
of  Mary. 

RUSSELL.  I  owe  you  my  very  life.  For  you  I've  had 
the  great  devotion  my  nature  always  craved. 

MARY.  Russell,  dear,  loyalty  in  you  is  so  strong,  it  is 
irrational.  Few  understand  that.  You  don't  realize  how 
selfish  I  have  been — enjoying  your  devotion  and  our  child, 
while  you — had  neither  of  us. 

RUSSELL.  But — God!  If  you  had  not  really  been  my 
ideal!  If  you  had  proved  not  to  be  the  great  woman  I 
knew  you  to  be !  If  you  had  not  been  worthy  of  the  great 
love  I  bear  you !  But  you  are,  and  more !  Thanks  to  you, 
the  world  for  me  is  unprofaned!  You  have  given  me  my 
soul.  You  are  the  crown  of  womankind.  [Softly.]  You 
are  an  angel ! 

[RUSSELL  stands  as  if  transfixed  in  admiration*. 
The  elevator  is  heard.] 

MARY.    You're  a  dear !    You've  improvised  the  wings. 

[Enter  SENATOR  MORSE,  by  the  door  at  the  left,  thcQ 
the  OTHERS.] 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Hello,  Alice.  My  dear  girl — [Kisses 
ALICE] — Hello,  Russell.  Hello,  Mary.  Where  did  you 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  247 

disappear  to?  Hello,  Victor.  Mother,  I  never  was  so 
puzzled  in  all  my  life. 

MRS.  MORSE.  What  is  it  all  about,  John?  Can  I  help 
you? 

SENATOR  MORSE.    This  Pacific  matter. 

MRS.  MORSE.  Forget  foreign  affairs  for  a  moment 
There  are  problems  for  the  Home  Office. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  What  do  you  mean?  Nothing  wrong, 
I  hope. 

MRS.  MORSE.  Merely  that  your  only  child  has  been 
asked  in  marriage  by  this  young  man. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    Have  you  thought  it  over,  Alice? 

ALICE.    Yes,  father. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  [To  VICTOR.]  So  that's  what  both 
ered  you  at  The  Hague?  What  does  she  say,  Victor? 

VICTOR.  To  tell  the  truth,  I  can't  remember.  I  didn't 
hear  her  say  anything. 

MRS.  MORSE.    Alice  and  I  are  both  willing. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Now,  Mother,  don't  you  think  we're 

both ?  The  children  can  make  it  unanimous  without 

us. 

MRS.  MORSE.  I  should  say  they  can.  Here  are  your 
adopted  children — [With  a  meaning  glance  at  KUSSELL 
and  MARY] — secretly  married  this  long  time. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  For  the  love  of — country!  I'm  cer 
tainly  delighted!  [SENATOR  MORSE  is  about  to  indulge  in 
the  formalities  of  congratulations  when  his  present  preoc 
cupation  arrests  him.]  Say,  Kussell,  who  sent  that  cable? 
Some  crazy  reformer,  I'll  bet.  Well,  he  settled  the  Pacific 
question  and  blundered  Uncle  Sam  into  glory.  We've  de 
cided  to  do  what  the  damned  fool  said. 

MRS.  MORSE.    John,  dear. 

RUSSELL.    What  do  you  mean? 

SENATOR  MORSE.  We  were  all  at  the  Metropolitan 
Club,  the  Secretary  of  State  and  the  Party  Managers, 
fighting  about  this  thing.  We  got  a  telephone  call  from 
the  Speaker  of  the  House.  He  said  a  conference  had 


248  THE  WASTREL  HOARD3 

decided  that  the  best  thing  to  do  was  to  have  Congress 
throw  the  Canal  open  free  of  tolls  of  the  whole  world,  to 
make  a  virtue  of  a  necessity,  and  to  save  our  face  as  a 
nation.  The  only  exception  is  we  may  exclude  any  nation 
entirely  as  an  act  of  war. 

RUSSELL.  Well,  that  really  won't  cost  the  nation  a  dol 
lar — even  in  that  dollars  and  cents  system  of  reckoning 
which  the  great  republic  shares  with  the  individual  hold 
ers  of  its  surplus  wealth.  Experts  have  worked  that  out. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Why,  it's  cheap  as  advertising !  Better 
than  our  return  of  the  indemnity  millions  to  China.  It 
makes  us  moral  leaders  of  the  world ! 

MARY.  The  centre  of  the  Empire  of  the  Spirit — the  New 
Empire  of  the  World. 

RUSSELL.  And  it  will  not  only  bring  the  Suez  trade 
this  way,  but  will  keep  England  from  building  a  compet 
ing  and  parallel  canal  across  Colombia. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    Or  Nicaragua. 

RUSSELL.  And  we'll  soon  lay  the  ghost  of  the  British 
shipping.  The  administration  has  a  tariff  preference  plan 
that  will  force  every  foreign  ship  that  comes  here  to  come, 
at  the  option  of  a  Tariff  Board,  under  the  American  flag! 
And  the  American  market,  the  greatest  in  the  world,  is  no 
longer  to  be  given  away,  but  to  be  used  as  a  common 
national  possession  to  induce  and  coerce  nations  into  hu 
manity  and  peace.  What  will  Bullard's  crowd  say?  They 
control  Congress — a  compact  majority.  This  hold-up  was 
to  be  the  crowning  glory  of  his  life. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Well,  Billiard  telephoned  immediate 
ly  afterward,  and  begged  me  to  agree  on  that  very  thing. 
"It'll  be  all  right,"  he  said.  And  we  did,  and  it's  all  over, 

MARY.    Bully  for  you,  Uncle  John !    Bully  for  you ! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Mother.  You  ought  to  have  been  at 
The  Hague.  It  was  very  dramatic. 

MARY.  Mother  was  there — in  reality.  A  projected  per 
sonality — even  across  the  world — is  often  more  potent  than 
one  bodily  present.  Don't  you  think  so,  Russell? 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  249 

RUSSELL.    Yes.    Yes.    I  do.    I  do. 

MRS.  MORSE.  The  oak  has  fallen;  the  violet  prevails. 
The  gamblers  are  wrecked  in  their  own  system. 

KUSSELL.    I  am  sorry  for  Bullard. 

MARY.  There's  something  yet  to  explain.  Bullard 
never  quits. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    He  is  fond  of  Russell,  Mary. 

MARY.    Well — so  is  everybody. 

SENATOR  MORSE.    Should  you  like  to  hear  what  he  said? 

MARY.  Of  course.  [Reminiscing.]  He  is  so  resource 
ful! 

SENATOR  MORSE.  His  words  were  these :  "I  win,  Sen 
ator.  It  is  my  victory.  This  girl  has  done  my  life  work 
for  me.  She's  a  good  deal  smarter  than  I  am,  and  when  I 
once  see  a  cold,  hard  fact,  I  take  off  my  hat  to  it.  It'll  be 
all  right.  I  telephoned  to  Thorburn.  Her  way  is  better 
than  my  way."  In  token  of  surrender,  he  sends  you  this 
note.  "Tell  her,"  he  said,  "that  I  have  searched  the  record 
and  examined  the  cables  both  ways — and,"  [SENATOR  MORSE 
smiles]  he  said, — "it'll  be  all  right.  [MARY  reads  BULLARD'S 
note.]  She  has  made  my  boy."  And  "Tell  him  I've  re 
nounced  King  Alcohol!  She  has  made  me,  too!" 

[At  the  recurrence  of  BULLARD^S  phrase,  "my  boy" 
MARY  looks  at  RUSSELL,  studies  his  features,  and 
seems  overtaken  ~by  a  sudden  conviction.  She 
speaks  ivith  some  sense  of  the  triple  application 
of  her  words,  but  none  the  less  bewildered.] 

MARY.  [Taking  a  step  toward  the  picture  of  "Sweet 
Lily  Earle."]  He  says  his  name  should  be  on  my  certificate, 
too. 

[RUSSELL  looks  at  her  as  if  to  learn  the  application 
of  what  she  is  saying.  Her  eyes  flash  that  she  has 
something  to  tell  him.] 

SENATOR  MORSE.   [As  if  believing  that  he  understands.] 


250  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

Yes,  indeed.  "And,"  said  Billiard,  "she  has  made  me,  too. 
It'll  be  all  right." 

MARY.  I'm  sorry  he  lost  his  money.  [MARY  looks  at 
EUSSELL.]  There's  something  good  in  that  man.  The 
•world  has  had  enough  of  telling  how  bad  people  are ;  what 
it  needs  is  a  little  more  telling  why;  then  big  and  little 
can  unite  in  removing  the  cause. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  It'll  be  all  right.  They've  been  sup 
porting  the  market  to  get  out. 

KUSSELL.  Gamblers?  Always  on  a  sure  thing?  And 
they  gagged  the  newspapers.  The  public  hasn't  heard  a 
word. 

[MARY  goes  up  to  RUSSELL.] 

MARY.  [Continuing  to  look  at  RUSSELL.]  There's 
something  good  in  that  man. 

[She  feels  in  the  envelope  and  takes  out  the  locket 
which  BULLARD  has  sent.  She  turns  away,  opens 
it,  pauses  a  moment  as  if  recalling  a  fugitive  mem 
ory,  turns  to  the  picture  of  "Sweet  Lily  Earle" 
then  to  RUSSELL,  gives  a  start  as  if  to  embrace 
him  and  collapse,  but  controls  herself.] 

RUSSELL.    What  is  it? 

MARY.  [To  all]  That  is  our  secret.  Ours — and  Fos 
ter  Bullard's. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Well,  I'd  like  to  meet  the  man  who 
cent  that  cable.  I'd  like  to  shake  him  by  the  hand.  He 
saved  my  political  life.  That  seems  to  be  the  world's  "dark 
secret"  just  now ! 

MARY.    No  man  ever  sent  that  cable. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Oh !  A  woman !  I  suppose  you'll  an* 
bounce  next  it  was  Mrs.  Havorbee. 

MARY.    That  cablegram  was  never  sent. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  What  do  you  mean?  It  sent  itself, 
I  suppose. 

MARY.    Almost.  Culp  is  a  friend  of  mine.    I  wrote  ii 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  251 

out,  and  he  just  handed  it  to  you.  You  see,  I  was  your 
secretary,  and  you  handed  it  to  yourself.  Say  nothing. 
Deny  the  rumor,  and  you  are  famous. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Well,  by  Jove !  I  believe  the  f  uture'll 
prove  it  so.  "Were  you  the  doctor  and  I  knew  you  not?" 

MARY.  Alienist  I  That's  what  I've  been  waiting  for  in 
Europe.  I  thought  the  Hague  Tribunal  would  never  meet. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  I  might  have  known  it.  What  ever 
possessed  you?  [MARY  smiles  at  the  question.]  What 
great  motive ?  <»  -**•"**' 

MARY.  One  more  imperious  than  empires  or  coali 
tions — [MARY  turns  to  MRS.  MORSE] — one  that  mothers 
know — [MARY  turns  to  SENATOR  MORSE] — and  fathers,  too. 
It  is  the  commonest  thing  in  the  world,  and  the  one  most 
completely  overlooked.  Woman's  love  and  faith  and  char 
ity  are  the  motives  of  that  great,  imperious  impulse  by 
which  nature  is  trying  to  rule  this  world  and  perpetuate 
the  human  soul.  Individual  self-control  and  the  govern 
ance  of  the  world  are  themselves  in  embryo.  Purposeless, 
alcoholic,  surrender  to  the  great  sex  myth,  based  upon  the 
absurd  assumption  that  human  nature  is  evil,  or  that  love 
can  be  impure  or  ungenerous,  is  the  world's  greatest  curse, 
and  the  real  cause  of  all  the  other  curses.  Society's  chil 
dren  seem  unsought  and  undesired,  and  the  one  purpose  of 
organization  seems  to  be  to  kill  off  the  whole  great  future 
in  embryo.  The  pity  of  it  that  the  higher  impulse  must  ever 
be  discouraged  or  condemned.  All  conscious  conception  is 
immaculate ;  there  is  no  original  sin ;  and  what  God  has  not 
imposed  man  should  not  assume.  A  woman's  body  and 
a  man's  are — their  very  souls !  Creation  is  from  God  and 
it  is  divine.  It  is  the  thing  and  the  only  thing  that  kills 
wantonness  and  makes  love  pure.  The  higher  modesty  is 
the  peculiar  inheritance  of  our  race.  It  is  our  duty  to  un 
derstand  it,  respect  it,  make  it  sacred,  and  have  it  raised 
out  of  the  darkness  of  ignorance  and  mystery  in  its  true 
dignity  as  patriotic  impulse  and  made  the  true  basis  of 
society,  its  government,  and  its  provision  for  the  general 


252  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

welfare.  In  the  little  child  is  the  hope  of  nations  and  the 
crowning  glory  of  the  world.  It  is  the  great  thing  the  sexes 
have  in  common — the  greatest  common  interest  in  the 
world,  the  greatest  social  interest  and  the  most  far-reaching 
— great  enough  to  unite  all  humankind.  A  land  that  does 
not  care  for  its  children  cares  little  for  its  future.  That  is 
the  great  lesson  humanity  has  yet  to  learn  and  America 
must  learn  it  to  fulfill  its  mission  to  establish  the  reign  of 
justice  and  redeem  the  world. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Mary,  with  that  simple  philosophy, 
you  have  done  more  for  Russell  than  Bullard,  with  all 
their  money,  could  have  done. 

MARY.  Eussell  did  it.  [MARY  looks  at  RUSSELL.]  And 
Bullard  was  the  original  cause,  after  all.  [MARY  smiles 
enigmatically.]  Well,  the  world  must  look  up,  in  the  fu 
ture,  to  men  who  watch  and  ward  other  people's — boys. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  [As  if  to  himself.]  It  was  love  work- 
ing  regeneration. 

MARY.  [With  a  very  fond  look  at  RUSSELL.]  It  was 
just  a  woman's  work — that's  all. 

VICTOR.  You  have  beaten  Bullard  to  a  frazzle.  When 
Dewey  cut  the  cable 

ALICE.    They  gave  him  a  house. 

VICTOR.    Mary'll  take  the  White  House 

SENATOR  MORSE.    And  you  have  made  Russell. 

MARY.  I  haven't  finished  yet.  A  woman's  work  is 
never  done.  I  believe  I'll  tackle  Bullard.  [MARY  looks 
very  fondly  at  RUSSELL.]  There's  a  lot  of  good  in  that  man. 

[RUSSELL  always  seems  to  agree  with  MARY'S  praise 
of  BULLARD.] 

SENATOR  MORSE.    He's  for  Russell  already.    I  must 

MARY.  [With  an  amused  look  at  RUSSELL.]  I  know 
that  better  than  any  of  you.  He  might  consent  to  lead  the 
opposition.  That  would  help.  And  I  know  that  Bullard 
is  capable  of  a  great  personal  sacrifice. 

SENATOR  MOUSE.    Worse  men  than  Russell  have  occu- 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  253 

pied  the  White  House,  Mary.  That  was  always  Dullard's 
idea. 

MARY.  [Laughing  with  SENATOR  MORSE  and,  without 
his  knowing  it,  at  him.]  For  his  "5ot/." 

SENATOR  MORSE.  [Laughing  and  the  victim  of  his  own 
laugh  on  BULLARD.]  Yes,  his  "boy."  Well,  we'll  help  him. 
"It'll  be  all  right." 

VICTOR.    If  you  want  a  campaign  fund 

[MARY  goes  up  to  VICTOR  and  places  her  right  hand 
on  his  left  shoulder  as  VICTOR  had  done  to  BUL 
LARD  in  the  third  act.    VICTOR  reciprocates.] 

SENATOR  MORSE.  What  political  party  do  you  repre 
sent?  I  wonder! 

KUSSELL.  "I  represent  a  party  which  does  not  as  yet 
exist,  the  party  of  revolution,  of  civilization.  This  party 
will  mold  the  twentieth  century." 

MARY.  High  aims  have  but  one  ultimate  authority,  the 
welfare  of  humanity.  My  mind  sees  now  a  little  white 
house  for  everybody  in  the  world. 

[The  library  chime  strikes  twelve  times.] 

VICTOR.  Mine  does  now,  with  fortune  knocking  at 
least  once  at  every  man's  door. 

MARY.    And  the  crimes  of  poverty  abolished. 

VICTOR.  Yes,  and  of  drunkenness  and  disease — and 
greed 

[The  desk  clock  strikes  twelve  times,  beginning  be 
tween  the  ninth  and  the  tenth  chime.] 

MARY.   With  their  train 

VICTOR,    —of  long-lived  sufferings,  to  the  innocent. 

MARY.  And  a  wider  view  of  life  in  which  individual 
interests  become  merged  with  those  of  humanity. 

VICTOR.  And  for  every  man  those  moments  when  we 
catch  a  glimpse  of  God. 

MARY.    The  God  above  him— 


254  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

VICTOR.  — and  the  God  within — and  feels  the  joys  and 
sorrows  of  all  peoples  as  of  his  own. 

MARY.    Charity  is 

VICTOR.  — the  one  luxury  which  civilized  society  can 
well  afford. 

MARY.    A  little  warmth  in  social  relations 

VICTOR.  — will  make  the  artificial  warmth  of  alcoholic 
poison  superfluous. 

MARY.    Charity  is  justice. 

VICTOR.  Both  are  public  functions  and  to  be  effective 
their  execution  should  be  universal,  instant,  and  over 
whelming. 

MARY.  We  may  not  do  much  with  the  evil  of  the  pres 
ent  generation 

VICTOR.  It  will  perpetuate  itself — unto  the  third  and 
fourth  generation,  perhaps — when  nature,  in  its  relentless 
logic,  brings  it  to  an  end  with  the  breed. 

MARY.  Most  of  the*  present  generation  would  have  to 
be  born,  again. 

VICTOR.    And  born  different.     Eh! 

MARY.  Quite!  A  new  humanity  is  born  and  a  new 
world  comes  into  being  every  time  the  sun 

VICTOR.  .  — rises  on  our  selfish  provision  for  the  present 
day. 

MARY.    We  pay  so  much  attention  to  the  past 

VICTOR.  That  we  appear  bent  on  walking  into  the 
future  backwarn. 

MARY.  We  and  our  times  are  unimportant  and  our 
plans  for  ourselves  are  barren  and  unwise. 

VICTOR.  But  if  we  work  with  the  coming  generation, 
the  good  will  radiate  forever. 

MARY.    And  in  the  children 

VICTOR.  — will  be  carried  onward  the  American  spirit 
that  can  never  die. 

MARY.    Follies  and  vices  of  the  people  are 

VICTOR.  — encouraged  by  the  powers  that  prey.  A 
Tirtuous  race  will  be  free. 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  255 

MARY.  And  its  lusty  children,  the  universal  solvent, 
will  spread  more  health— 

VICTOR.  — than  all  the  millions  of  our  philanthropic 
oppressors,  with  their  expiations,  can  redeem. 

MARY.  When  everyone  takes  the  easiest  way,  fate  piles 
evil  upon  evil — and 

VICTOR.  — when  one  takes  the  bravest  and  the  best 
way,  fate  is  balked  and  good  piles  up  eternally. 

MARY.    There  is  no  wealth  but  life. 

VICTOR.  And  a  nation  is  composed  not  of  property  or 
of  provinces,  but  of  men. 

MARY.    The  vital  industry  of  any  people — — 

VICTOR.    — is  the  culture  of  racial  life. 

MARY.  If  the  successful  of  this  generation  bring  up 
their  children  to  follow  out  their  success 

VICTOR.  — the  next  generation  won't  be  fit  to  live 
among. 

MARY.  There  must  be  a  new  Declaration  of  Independ 
ence! 

VICTOR.    And  a  new  Emancipation  Proclamation! 

MARY.    Revolutions  should  not  be  left  to  terrorists 

VICTOR.  They  should  be  carried  out  by  the  best  and 
most  virtuous  of  the  race. 

MARY.    You  have  learned  your  lesson — and  mine,  too. 

[THEY  smile  and  separate.} 

VICTOR.    I  have  tried. 

MARY.  [Drawing  out  the  little  American  flag  and 
pointing  with  it  in  an  equivocal  manner  to  one  of  the 
A  merican  flags  in  the  decoration  of  the  room.  ]  One  Amer 
ican  child  brought  up  to  be  a  parent  under  that  flag  is 
worth  more  than  regiments  of  parents  imported  from 
abroad. 

[VICTOR  goes  up  to  ALICE,  and  VICTOR  and  ALICE 
smile  at  one  another.] 

ALICE.    Now,  you  are  just  as  I  wish  you  to  be. 


256  THE  "WASTREL  HOARD. 

VICTOR.  Mary  made  me — [VICTOR  pauses,  as  if  real 
izing  the  danger  of  such  an  assertion,  smiles,  and  correct* 
himself} — to  your  order. 

[ALICE  smiles  at  VICTOR.] 

ALICE.  Thanks  for  that,  Victor.  I'll  asswne  I  did  it  all. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  [To  MARY.]  I  told  Bussell  you  would 
be  a  tonic  for  him. 

MARY.  [Going  up  to  MRS.  MORSE.]  Kussell  shares  our 
wholesome  fear  of  anything  too  tonic.  [To  MRS.  MORSE.] 
You  darling ! 

[The  clock  above  strikes  twelve.} 

MARY.  All  these  clocks,  Senator!  What  terrible  re 
minders!  Mercy!  How  striking! 

ALICE.  They've  been  striking  about  you  for  an  hour. 
We  are  used  to  them  and  don't  notice  them. 

MARY.  I  didn't  hear  them  until  now.  Our  infinite  ca 
pacity  for  indifference!  And  we  see  a  smaller  proportion 
of  what  is  about  us  than  we  hear. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  Souvenirs,  Mary — only  a  few  of  them 
— of  the  Sheriff's  Jury  dinners — fifty  dollars  a  plate — each 
of  the  three  "Panels" — free  tickets  to  the  gang — hundreds 

of  them — paid  for  by  the  Jurors 

[As  SENATOR  MORSE  rattles  on,  amusement  grows, 
until  VICTOR  interrupts  with  a  laugh.} 

VICTOR.  Hold  on,  Senator.  You  needn't  tell  the  rest. 
Mary  and  I  are  going  to  abolish  the  Sheriff's  Jury,  too. 
Eh! 

[MARY  begins  to  yield  to  the  strain  of  her  efforts, 
and  the  woman  becomes  evident.} 

MARY.  What  good  friends  you  are !  I  know  how  intel 
ligent  you  have  been.  [To  MRS.  MORSE.]  You  are  the 
best-bred  woman  I  have  ever  known.  You  have  under 
stood 

MRS.  MORSE.  It's  because  I  have  a  good  husband. 
[MRS.  MORSE  turns  to  the  others.]  I  know  Mary  has  had 
a  great  deal  of  trouble,  more  than  she  would  care  to  tell 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD.  257 

about.  Any  other  girl  in  her  place  would  have  faded  away 
and  died. 

SENATOR  MORSE.     Would  melt  like  a  lighted  candle. 

MARY.  Without  handing  down  the  lamp  of  life?  Who 
could  snuff  it  out !  Love  doesn't  let  us  melt  away. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  No!  You  can't  kill  character.  The 
history  of  nations  shows 

[SENATOR  MORSE  and  MRS.  MORSE  join  hands,  face 
and  smile  at  one  another.  ALICE  and  VICTOR  join 
hands.  Then  all  look  at  RUSSELL  and  MARY.] 

MRS.  MORSE.  Forget  history,  John.  My  heart  told  me 
that  from  the  first  you  were  meant  for  one  another.  And 
your  faith  has  proved  that. 

RUSSELL.  My  brave  girl.  I'll  take  any  future  with 
you.  "Good  fortune's  mark  's  upon  thy  face!" 

[ RUSSELL  and  MARY  join  hands  and  smile  at  one 
another.  ] 

MARY.  It's  all  luck.  I  am  the  luckiest  girl  in  the 
world. 

RUSSELL.    You  waved  fortune  aside.    You  didn't  take 


MARY.  I  didn't  know  I  could — not  all — until  The 
Hague.  Your  devotion  lived  on  nothing;  mine  had  every 
thing  a  woman  craves. 

RUSSELL.  There  is  no  bravery  but  unselfishness.  Yon 
gave  up  everything  unquestioningly  to  spare  sorrow  to  an 
other  woman. 

SENATOR  MORSE.  "Greater  love  hath  no  woman  than 
this,  that  she  give  up  all  for  another." 

[The  chime  in  the  hall  below  strikes  twelve  times 
with  impressive  intervals,  the  last  word  being 
spoken  on  the  eleventh  stroke,  the  twelfth  stroke 
being  heard  as  the  curtain  descends.] 

MARY.  [To  RUSSELL.]  Those  who  love  think  they  give 
up  everything,  but  misfortune  brings  character  down  to 


258  THE  WA8TRKL  HOARD. 

bedrock  and  character  is  the  greatest  thing  in  the  world. 
Russell,  dearest,  it's  all  your  own  work.  Whitman  was 
not  so  impractical,  after  all!  Some  give  nothing,  but  take 
everything;  some  lake  nothing  for  themselves  and  give  all 
to  others.  Yon  have  risen 

ItiissKLL.  I  never  felt  more  humble.  liullard  wished 
so  much  to  be  good  to  me. 

MAKY.  Kussell,  dear,  you're  great.  Four  fixed  idea! 
lie  wished  to  make  *'///.s  /*<>//"  what  lie  couldn't  be  himself! 

RUSSELL.     May  I  kiss  you  now? 

[FLINT  < nfers  </nictly,  comes  up  to  MARY.  She  smiles 
at  him,  but  heekons  to  him  to  wait.] 

MAKY.  [With  a  curtsey.]  Sir,  I  am  ready  to  honor  my 
father— 

FLINT.  \With  a  suggestion  oj  the  great  (juoler.  \  "Who 
will  command  with  kindness."  [Softening.]  1  am  getting 
old  now  and  /  want  Man/  to  look  after  inc. 

MARY.  [\\'ith  a  enrtsey  In  RUSSELL.]  —and  obey  my 
husband.  Just  as  you  said,  hybrid  will  be  high-bred! 

RUSSELL.  |  Conscious  of  going  FLINT  one  better.]  Who 
will  support  your  ambitious,  and — command  with  love. 
[RUSSELL  kisses  MAUY.  ]  That's  what  women  want. 

ALICE.  Uncle  Sam,  that  is  what  children  need.  [To 
MAKY.]  Mary,  dear!  You  will  never  know  how  glad  / 
am  that  you  are  safely — married  \ 

MAKY.     Nor  you  how  glad  /  am! 

FLINT,  \ltrings  SENATOR  MORSK  and  RUSSELL  together, 
puts  an  arm  orer  the  shouJder  of  each,  and  pats  RUSSELL  on 
ihe  shoulder.]  My  son!  The  friendship  of  Uncle  John  is 
the  only  guarantee  of  a  man  required  by  Uncle  Sam! 

SENATOR  MORSE,  \rallina  FLINT  on  the  Intel'.]  There 
do  come  times  when  Uncle  Sam  feels  that  he  must  lean  a 
little  on  his  children. 

[ALL  1)uf  RUSSELL  and  MARY  more  off  to  group  about 
FLINT,  /<>  e,t'pla-in  Ihe  situation  to  him.] 

RUSSELL.     [Noting  the  opportunity.]     T  may — now  I 

MARY.     [ Itetwecn  kisses.]  Don't ! — ever ! ! — stop ! ! ! 


THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

RUSSELL.     [In  a  low  tone,  to  MARY.]    And  the  boy? 

Tlu1  little  strung1!1? 

MAKY.  [To  KTSSELL,  in  a  loir  tone.]  He's  waiting  for 
us.  And  he'll  never  leave  us  again.  [MAKY  <joes  to  FLINT 
and  kisses  him.  then  looks  at  the  others.  N/JC  speaks  with 
tnddcn  resolution.]  I  am  very  happy,  and  1  wish  every 
body  in  the  world  to  be  happy,  loo — even  Mr.  Hullard.  1 
wish  we  could  have  him  with  us — I  just  want  to  sing  to 
him.  Things  look  different  to  all  of  us,  now.  [To  all,  in 
a  burst  of  enthusiasm.]  We'll  all  go  back  home  together. 
"Home,  Sweet  Home."  That's  the  only  "Palace  of  Peace." 
[MARY  and  RTSSKLL  embrace.  MAKY  <jocs  up  to  Mus 
MOUSE  and  rests  her  head  on  Mus.  MOUSE'S  breast,  and 
throws  her  arms  about  Mus.  MOUSE'S  neck.]  Von  old- 
fashioned  mother — you  are  the  mainstay  of  the  Ship  of 
State — the  Roek  of  Ages  of  the  World.  We're  moat  of  us 
old-fashioned — women  at  heart.  And  they  are  the  safest 
diplomats — the  Guardians  of  the  World's  IVaee — of 
Mind.  I  am  glad  I've  found  myself  out.  [Looking  with  a 
meaning  swile  at  RUSSKLL.  |  Hefore  it  was  too  late.  Hut 
now — well— it'll  be  all  right. 

[Mus.    MOUSE    leads    the    others    out    irith    manifest 

tact] 

RUSSELL.  [Assuring  himself  by  a  glance  that  the  others 
hare  gone.]  Now  that  we  are  alone,  say  once  more  the 
last  word  of  pardon.  Mary,  forgive  me. 

MAKY.  [  Vlutl* T////;  to  RUSSELL'S  embrace.]  1  can't — 
I  raift.  1  can  only  love  yon.  |  MAKY  throws  herself  into 
RTSSELL/S  arms.  After  a  moment  MAKY  draws  away  gent 
ly,  takes  UussELl/s  hands  in  hers,  and  smiles  playfully.] 
1  fear  you'll  often  be  wretched  with  your  temperamental 
wife. 

RUSSELL.     |  Teasing.  \ 

"Call   not    the  man  wretched. 
Who,  whatever  he  sutlers, 
Has  a  child  to  love," 


260  THE  WASTREL  HOARD. 

MARY.  [Taking  refuge  in  RUSSRLL'S  arms  again.]  But 
you  have  to  love  me,  too ! 

RUSSELL.    I  will.    That,  also,  will  be  all  right. 

MART.    Love  me  for  him,  too. 

RUSSELL.  True  woman,  wife,  and  mother,  I'll  love  you 
as  I  love  my  country ;  I'll  love  you  for  all  mankind. 


EPILOGUE. 

Then, 

Woman, 
Here's 
to 
Childhood! 

Way  to  salvation,  happiness,  and  avatar, 
And  to  humanity,  heaven,  and  eternity, 
Your  inheritance  from  all  the  past, 
So  greater  than  the  richest  hoard 
That  none  with  it  can  you  afford, 
Lest  hoard  not  you  shall  everlast, 
Surviving  in  a  dead  posterity, 
Lacklustered  as  a  fallen  star. 

Then, 

Woman, 
Here's 
to 

Childhood! 


CuBTAIN. 


A  &  B 
BOOKSELLERS 

specialists  in 
theatre  books 

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